The Ledge - My Love Affair with a Woman-Article

My Love Affair with a Woman: How She Helped Me Find Calm in Chaos
My love affair started at the impressionable age of 13. Yes, I know. I tricked you. I am so sorry to disappoint my readers who were expecting a revealing post. Unfortunately, this post confession is more PG than PG- 13. The woman I am referring to is the sensational, spiritual singer Stevie Nicks, most notable of Fleetwood Mac fame. Who doesn’t love Stevie Nicks? Even former, US President Bill Clinton, who I also had a crush on at one time (come on, – I know I am NOT the only one who has crushed on Bill Clinton) has voiced his admiration for Ms. Nicks.

So, how did this love affair start? Quite simply, my love affair started when I heard her sing Sara on the radio. Instantly connecting to her unique, raspy voice, the poetic melodies and abstract lyrics moved me. More so, though, than the voice itself, the abstract, poetic lyrics moved me.

Drowning in the sea of love where everyone would love to drown- Sara, 1978

How can you argue with those lyrics? Who can deny that those words do not inspire even the most hardened, calloused person to wade in an ocean of love?

Okay, I was a kid and I admit that in those days I didn’t have a clue what these songs really meant – that came later. But, truthfully, I didn’t really care. What mattered to me was that the words and melodies inspired my budding teenage self to find my own voice. Stevie Nicks’ music gave me the strength and courage to write poetry in my own journal, the same pretty one I have today , decorated with flowers and lace. Journal writing, no matter how one goes about putting their thoughts on paper, can be a scary experience because you are giving life to your words, your hopes, your failures, your desires. I fell in love with Stevie Nick’s ability to motivate me, through her music, to take a chance at nurturing my own creative self.

Fast forward 24 years later and life has evolved into adult craziness. I find myself continually agitated and overly tense (especially around the holidays) with all the hustle, stress, and stimulation that real-life, away from my flower and lace journal, insists that I participate in. I wish I could find a poetic way to express my feelings, but, honestly, these feelings and tasks suck! My life has evolved into an endless to-do-list. And while I still listen to Stevie Nicks, the music seems to have softened. The words and messages to fade into the background as work, laundry, gift shopping, and all my other obligations take center stage. As I life has ripened me, I’ve found myself lured away from the radio and, I’m sorry to say, the poetry of the music.

The Poet in my Heart

Recently, after a restless night, and an irritable mood, I dragged my uninspired, 37-year-old self to a yoga class. I love yoga much in the same way that I love Stevie. Yoga fills me with peace and has the ability to calm my ADD mind. This particular class proved to be transformative. Let me set the scene:

The lovely and calming instructor spoke about the stress we carry, especially during this time of year. She went on to talk about the power we have to choose a safe place and envision this place in our lives. Whether it is a warm beach, or a scenic park, the safe place we choose is always within us to access, ANYTIME.

When the instructor spoke those words, basically giving me permission to allow my mind to wander, my subconscious automatically catapulted me back to a Stevie Nicks concert. Suddenly, I could feel the rush and thrill of pulsing rock beats, hear the raspy voice and see the flowing chiffon. I could smell the smoke in the air and the taste of flat beer as it slid down my throat, a good peaceful, reassuring, and familiar stimulation. Suddenly the holiday panic disappeared. I was calm, happy, and connected with my carefree, 13- year-old self; the teenage self that would break into dance without embarrassment. The young girl who appreciated each moment life handed her. At that moment, in that yoga class, I became the person I was before my mind became riddled with frivolous life stuff.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS

If you only take away one thing from this post, please remember this. The things that are important to us are always there; whether we are stuck in a traffic jam, overwhelmed at work, or ready to sell our kids to the highest bidder. Did I just say that? Oh, well. I know we all have jokingly thought that at one time or another. The point is, when the stressors of life interrupt your sanity, take a moment to tap into yourself and take care of you.

I would like to thank my yoga instructor for teaching me more than the stretches and bends, which did hurt the next day by the way. I want to thank her for helping me rekindle my love with Stevie Nicks, with music and with my carefree self. As for Stevie, my woman crush, I can’t wait to see you in April at The Wells Fargo Center!

Happy Holidays! xo

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