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All ACM Performances to Be Duets with Taylor Swift
Posted by C.M. Wilcox on 2/04/10 • Categorized as Fake News

Exciting new details about the 45th annual Academy of Country Music Awards, set to air live from Las Vegas on April 18: In an effort to woo younger viewers, the ACM and CBS have jointly announced that all of the performances on the telecast will feature Taylor Swift in a co-vocalist role.

According to ACM Chairman John Grady, the change will provide just the shot of youthful energy that the show needs.

“When it comes to live broadcasts, it makes sense to put your strongest live vocalists front and center. So the decision to add Taylor to every performance was an easy one, especially after her stunning showing at the Grammys. Stevie WHO, am I right?”

Swift’s ability to draw coveted young viewers means that the ACM will be able to take chances on performers who have not historically been able to command the attention of said demographic on their own, much as Swift carried Nicks through their collaboration on Sunday’s Grammy show.

Grady explained: “For the first time in a long time, one of country music’s all-time greats, Ray Price, will be performing on the telecast. We think viewers will get a big kick out of seeing him harmonize with Taylor on ‘For the Good Times.’ Talk about the clash of the titans! We’re also shining the spotlight on songwriters, with a Larry Cordle/Taylor Swift duet of an old chestnut called ‘Murder on Music Row.’ It should be a lot of fun. We even talked Willie Nelson into joining in on one of the verses!”

Of course, Swift will also join her contemporaries on recent hits like “Big Green Tractor,” “I Just Call You Mine,” “American Saturday Night,” and “Temporary Home” “Small Town USA.”

“If you like Taylor Swift, this will be the thing to watch,” remarked Grady. “She’s America’s sweetheart, and for one night, she’s ours. By God, we’ll milk every last bit of exposure we can out of the opportunity. Every second without her beautiful, surprised face onscreen is wasted time.”

Swift will remain in Vegas the day after the telecast to film a feature-length tribute to Brooks & Dunn, who she calls “probably the oldest country singers I know.” According to Big Machine head honcho Scott Borchetta, her rendition of the rangy “My Maria” will surprise fans, and perhaps even win over a few jealous critics. “It’ll grab them by the ears and have them bawling… in a good way, I mean,” promises Borchetta.