My Band's Second Song (soon to be recorded) Lyrics
 

So I thought I'd post the lyrics to what will be my band's second recorded song. It's Called Tired Hope you all enjoy it, and feel free to comment.

Tired Written Feb. 22, 2007

Verse #1
I'm tired of being,
someone I'm not.
Just so you'd follow the sound of my voice.
I'm tired of trying,
to be your fool,
and I'm no closer to touching your face.
Sometimes... We fall from grace.

You looked at me,
"I'm tired, oh baby,
trying to find someone to save me."
Then he says, "Baby it's true,
It won't be long till someone finds you."
And she miles, like it's the first day of may.

Chorus
The rose colored velvet, lines the bed.
Thought about all the things that I never said.
You were the sweetest thing of the time.
And he says "Lady you could never be min.
Perfect strangers... too hard to find"
Lovingly she touches his hand...
And he turns and leaves her, by the white sand.

Verse #2
A single tear, runs down her face.
It seems he's left her... right in her place.
The mountain gleams of snow... at wintertime,
She says "I wonder, who could be mine, WELL....."

Perfect stranger... meets her at the station.
Could this be another round of the game?
She's trying so hard to put out the flame,
but it's hard, oh so hard for her to see again.

Chorus

Bridge
And he says "Baby what's wrong?"
"Nothing at all."
"How come we never talk anymore?"
"Because I tried to walk with you,
and you waled out that door."

Chorus

Vamp
He simply stands in the doorway.
Nothing to say... Then he turns and walks away.
He simply stands in the doorway.
Nothing to say... Then he turnes and walks away.

Chorus and fade.

So, hopefully you all liked it and feel free to be critical of it.

Take Care,
Ethan

Did you go to the lyrics section on Nicksfix and cut/paste?

No I didn't. I'm sorry that you feel like it's very Stevie-ish but I was definately doing my own thing on this one.

Ethan I think that was spectacular. Pleeeease record this and let the world hear it!

Pretty crappy. I think the most craptacular thing about this is that you seriously think it's good and that you so obviously (obliviously) ripped off Stevie. And the fact that you think that you are "doing your own thing on this one" is even more ludicrous.

^-- "Silver Springs"

^-- "How Still My Love"

^--- pathetically obvious

^-- "Gypsy"

^-- "Sara"

^-- "Bombay Sapphires"

^-- "Love Is"

^-- "Landslide"

^-- "That's Alright"

^-- "When I See You Again"

^-- "Fall From Grace"

^-- Countless Stevie songs

I thought it sucked.

Hey! I've used a very similar line to that and I've never even heard of (let alone heard) "How Still My Love" :mad: :laugh: . It's a nice cliche line that everybody probably thinks about using in their songs at one point or another :laugh: .

How??? o_O

I love you too tower.:lol: You can take any song and do like you did and make it sound like a Stevie copy. I am sorry you feel the way you do. I can do nothing right. I could write a song about kissing in the rain and you'd say it was an OTR copy. I mean, it's tired and I'm exhausted and don't have the energy to say much about it, but whatever.

Oh well, what can ya do. :shrug:

:wavey:

I think you did well in writing your song... however it does remind me of some of Stevie's songs and for those of us familliar with her work it is apparant where some of your inspiration has come from.

Maybe you could edit it a little so it has more of your own personality coming through..

Im trying to be constructive, and sometimes its hard for a writer to hear, but if it were my song I would change a few of the words and phrasings so that I do not draw those comparisons... If you want to put your songs out there professionally you can't risk even the slightest plagarism.

Songwriting is about being expressive but also inventive, so it is fine to try out a range of styles but over time you definitely need to develop your own.

Just wonderin', how old are you??

Katherine, constructive critisism is great. Thank you. I am 16.

There are way too many of Stevie's lines in this song, Ethan. Her inspirations, her metaphors, her lyrics...... I know you are enthusiastic and all but you have to be careful with that. Stevie and another woman got into a legal dispute over "Sara". The other woman wrote a song also called Sara and had only one line that was similar to Stevie's (plus the word "Sara") and it still turned into a big plagarism suit. One line! You have at least a dozen of Stevie's lines/metaphors in your song. That is just asking for trouble, IMHO.

I hope you've done your due diligence and copyrighted your song & its lyrics before you posted them here. Otherwise, it wasn't the best choice you could've made.

And, seconding Kelly's point by using another example, John Lennon lost a plagiarism suit to Chuck Berry over one line of the Beatle song "Come Together". It was the line "...here come ol' flat-top, groovin' up slowly" which was also a line of Chuck Berry's "You Can't Catch Me" that was John's downfall.

But, the only way you're going to be anywhere near "in trouble" by taking so many of Stevie's lines is if your song becomes a Top 10 hit that gets massive radio airplay. I wish you all the best for that should happen...and would suggest you get the best copyright lawyers you can find. (Unless the song gets noticed and is making tons of money for the publishing company, why would Stevie's publishing company bother with the expense of a lawsuit)

When I was around 14 or 15, I wrote several poems with lines about "moon sisters," "haunted songs" and "witching hours." I think I even had a few "dark-winged birds" in there for good measure.

This was in the first few years of me becoming a major Stevie fan, and I was totally enamoured by everything about her -- especially the gothic imagery in several of her songs.

I soon decided that writing poems & songs in that style was better left to Stevie -- since no one else could do it as well as she could -- so I started writing in a way that was better suited to my own experiences and personality. The earlier stuff I had written was invaluable though, because it helped me hone my skills.

Ethan, I think the structure of your song is very good, and you also have a good storyline there. I agree though that it's more than a bit "too Stevie."
I think she would be flattered that you love her writing so much (imitation is the most sincere form of flattery), but I think she would also tell you that you should find your own "voice."

The lines that you wrote that don't feel "too Stevie," are very good. I don't think you need to rely so heavily on her style.

Let your own experiences, and those of the people around you, inform your writing. There's nothing wrong with finding inspiration in Stevie's imagery... all writers are inspired, to one degree or another, by their own favorite writers... but you should then take that ball and run with it. Make it your own and make it personal, so that, by the time someone else reads your lyrics, it won't be so obvious where that initial inspiration came from.

well you are still quite young... and I think that you are doing well with your writing... Its important that you draw inspiration from a lot of different artists, so find out about the material of as many different bands or singers, songwriters, poets as you can-- but don't loose your own style, hold on to what you can already do and develop that.
;)

Well, Ethan, I gotta hand it to you - while most bands are ripping off Dylan and The Kinks, you're ripping off the Enchanted one. Kudos for you originality.. I think.