Status Anxiety
 

I'm watching this show on PBS about status anxiety. They're saying why aren't we happier the more stuff we have? And it's because we don't understand the psychology of it. In a world where we're supposed to be equal, but inequality exists all around, it causes anxiety when we don't measure up to that perceived (falsly) equality. Before America and the concept of equality, people maybe hated those in a higher station in life, but didn't feel they had to measure up to them, thus no anxiety.
So, ideally your judgement of yourself tends to be relative - say, I might compare myself to my friend and feel I don't measure up, but not a millionaire, because that is so far from my actual experience that it's pointless to compare myself to that.

Why the Americans Are Often So Restless in the Midst of Their Prosperity - someone wrote this book at the start of America - he didn't understand why although americans were much more prosperous than their European counterparts, they still weren't happy. He noticed that everyone still wanted something that someone else had, no matter what they had - because if everything is supposed to be equal (unlike the classes in europe) then the slightest upward variation from that equality is more noticed, and so more coveted. We all expect what everyone else has, and poor people compare themselves to rich, because we have the national mentality that everyone is/should be equal.
This black lady is talking about crime now, and how her son wanted stuff everyone else has, and turned to crime and robbing, which of course is rampant as we can all see.
The atmosphere of the press and public opinion relentlessly sold the idea that anyone could become what they wanted to be, and total democracy, and when they don't it leads to bitterness and the anxiety.
Anyway, interesting stuff. They're not judging it so much as analyzing it from different perspectives, which is great.
"every time we seek out something that we can't afford, we consider ourselves poor. Every time we are satisfied with what we have we are considered rich."
Now they're talking about "primitive" societies, the native americans, as studied by Russeau, and how they were happy, and why. Because the tribes were materially simple but psychologically rich. When the English came and they saw, then they wanted the English stuff. Ie, they didn't need it until they saw it - which is the whole point of advertising/capitalism. Create a "need" so people buy things.

I think this is very astute.

The US was (supposedly) founded on the idea of equality, but people misinterpret equality of opportunity (which is what we have, however warped it may be) for equality of circumstance. They think, "hey, we're all equal, so I should have everything Joe Smith has RIGHT NOW and I shouldn't have to pay for it!" Everyone feels entitled. No one is entitled. We all have the opportunity for upward mobility, but it must be worked for, which most people are reticent to do.

Or they may not have the gifts to succeed in the way society tells people they should be successful. It's really good.

I think you hit the nail on the head with the entitlement thing. There's a lot of that going around - people who think they're entitled to have all sorts of stuff but not work for it.

Anyway - that special sounds really fascinating!

There's a book it's based on by Alain de Botton, who is also the host of the show. I was wondering why he was so insightful....

wow, that was deep, and very true.

In the next hour, he goes on to talk about why people want status, and how some philosophers (notably Adam Smith, who wrote The Wealth of Nations) say that it has little to do with the money and possessions in themselves, but the human desire to be well regarded, taken care of, and have their opinions valued. Because our self esteem tends to raise if others regard us well, and lower when they don't. Similarly, when people have lower wage jobs, it isn't the actual work that perhaps makes them unhappy, it's the fact that they have opinions, thoughts, desires, etc. that any person sitting in a boardroom has - but are treated as if they don't, as if things they say, and they themselves, are not of importance - just because the job they do is rote, coglike, they perform one simple task over and over. Which is natural. But not necessarily completely desireable.
So, I guess we can conclude that those who seek the trappings of wealth, the conclusion of status the most - can never fulfill their sense of self worth in other ways that other people can fulfill them.
This places happiness in the hands of others, others who perceive that the aquisition of wealth is the measure of value. More often than not, people we don't even know, public opinion.

"Those who attach so much value to the opinions of others pays them too much honor".

However, He addresses how the worst state a human can be in is to be ignored. Uses the babies-dying-from-lack-of-attention example. And that we just naturally have a desire for love from the world.

He then posits that one way of rethinking the whole heirarchy, etc., is the expression of art. Art is universal, everyone can be important. Anyone can say something important, all can be worthy of respect. Also art helps us deal with "failure". Much of great art is stories of failure, that is where conflict lies. Also a way for us to express our compassion for those who have failed, both in making and experiencing art.

And lastly, how death is the great equalizer, and helps people focus their priorities, and how it has been depicted through art.

I'm just scratching the surface of all that was said, I highly recommend this series to anyone. It addresses complex concepts (as you can see here, the dichotomy of human nature needing approval and love and attention but fallaciously overemphasizing status as a way to obtain it, and over valueing status as a reason to give affection and approval) but is also very accessible. This is the same guy who did the "Philosophers" series, too.

Really, really good and fascinating. Yoga for the mind, lets the air circulate through the unused parts, stimulating new ideas, making your brain more flexible. ;)

I know, right? :shocked:

I'm glad I was able to explain it so that you could understand it, I had my doubts. :laugh: I was paraphrasing as he was talking. Of course, you guys are hella, hella smart. :cool:

Now a show is on about how Jewish chicken farmers settled Petaluma (California). :laugh: They weren't allowed to own land in Czarist Russia or Eastern Europe, so they were stoked. Weird. It's amazing how rural Petaluma still is. Jews in America till then had traditionally been city dwellers, shop owners, in textiles...
PBS, though not as free of corporate sponsorship as one would desire, still rocks.

Public Broadcasting
 

I look at it like this. I worry about me first, what makes me happy, and then I jsut dont fret about who has more than me because it doesnt affect me.:nod:

My parents didn't pay much attention to me when I was a girl. There, now you understand me! :lol: Thanks for posting this, Amber. Sociological study is so fascinating. You know, Kenyans in general seemed much happier than us. They are so poor but always smiling and enjoying themselves. It amazed me. What especially amazed me is how happy the children are. They are affectionate with each other and smiling and laughing all the time. It's so sweet.

I think a lot of what was summarized in this thread can be applied to the other thread (the one where we're all bitching about Paris Hilton :p ) You can seemingly have everything, but it's never enough & it won't necessarily make you happy or even satisfied.

ITA that we are way too materialistic. I don't really mean that we want the best & the most beutiful & priciest, but we want and have to much STUFF! Look around your house or apartment today & think about all the STUFF you have there. I do, and it makes me sick.

I'm trying really hard to change my lifestyle, as far as redefining want vs. need. I've most improved when it comes to small things - I don't buy new clothes very often anymore - I've been the same size for years, why should I waste money on stuff wthat will be dated in 6 months? I don't by knick-knacks & tchochkis for my house anymore - I have plenty & I certainly don't need new crap. I don't take free **** people are handing out unless I might actually use it (pens are cool, but wtf am I going to do with another caledar?) I always ask myself "do I need this, will I actually use it?" I buy most CDs & videos used, if at all.

But the other, bigger, things are proving more difficult. Did I really need a newer car? No. I justify it by saying that the old one long paid off, almost 10 years old, and I could still sell it for a decent amount of $$$ to put down on another one; plus repair costs were getting up there & eventually something major was bound to happen to it. But I didn't really need a different car.

Did I need to go to Vegas to see Stevie? Absolutely NOT. I had no justification for this, yet I don't regret it. It didn't really put me into debt, I saw 2 great shows AND I met a bunch of fantastic people, many of whom I now consider friends, rather than just internet acquaintances. So although I spent some cash & did something selfish, I have lifelong memories of one of the best ties of my life.


I won't keep rambling, but you get my drift (I hope.) I'm trying not to be a wasteful, or selfish, or cruel, or ignorant person. BUT like Sparky said in another thread - you can't beat yourself up over every little thing. Should I feel guilty that I live in a house that I worked hard for & bought, while others sleep on the street? I feel BLESSED for the life I have, and I thank God (whoever that is) for it often. I am thankful. But not guilty.

I will not make myself miserable for having a good decent life. If you do that, you will never leave your house. You will never go out to eat. You will never see a movie, or go camping, or go to a concert. And there's no reason you shouldn't. I just wish people were less flippant about it, and more grateful & aware that not everyone CAN do those things.

I just finished a book called Class Matters, about the different social classes in America. It's a facinating read. I'm not going to go on about it, because I don't have time right now, but it's really very interesting. Go check it out.

now, if we all had our Sun in Leo, we wouldnt have status anxiety, Im thinking :nod:

^
This was interesting, and I was thinking about some things too, but what I like about this show is that that wasn't the actual point of it, it was exploring why we feel these things, and the different perspectives, and why some people feel differently - the social and psychological factors present - rather than if we should feel these things.

What is the psychology behind the different levels of motivation - and they talked to everyone - people who thought you should strive for the highest level of success, down to people who were not purposely poor, but poor nonetheless (homeless) and also people who had purposely eschewed consumption as a tool for making them happy, instead focusing on other things - relationships, art, growing food, reading, talking about ideas - whatever.

I called into question my compulsion for buying jewelry. I couldn't decide if it was a status issue or the universally cultural desire for adornment. I like clothes, too. I've liked jewelry since about...age...0 - it's sparkly!

Maria - that sounds like a great class.