Dont ever move to a small town
 

Well, since I've been dubbed the unofficial storyteller in here, how could I let this fun go without my own story. I've been seeing this guy for like 10 months now, and I met him at the bar. I've been told this is usually not a good idea, and even more so since we, well you know, the first night we met. This person is the first real person I've actually had somewhat of a relationship with, but the problem is he lives in a smaller town about 90 miles from Minneapolis. UH OH. When I first started soming down here more, it was ok because the "FUN STUFF" was great and all, and we really got along. Well, I decided to move here in May, and I've been in hell ever since. It's not so much him as living in this small town. All of my friends and interests are in Minneapolis and here in Austin, all there is to do is eat Spam since this is where Hormel's headquarters are. I mean I can still go back to Minneapolis most times, but I feel trapped here big time. I love my man to death but with his job, he really isnt in a position to move to Minneapolis. I feel like I cant get out of the situation. And it's hard to get any sympathy from friends back home because they ALL told me that gay men that try to move to a small town to be with someone almost always hate it. I dont want to be alone, and I'm afraid that if I move back without him, I'll get all depressed again and I dont really need that right now. HELP?!?!?

what were you thinking? :xoxo:
it's been four months...do you think it will get better
or do you already know it wont?

Well, probably not. But the thing is that I love him and dont wanna be alone. TO be fair, he's not the main reason I'm frustrated now. I really do ask that question, what was I thinking? alot lately. (((((SIGH)))) Very frustrating :o

are you working in this small town? if you are just frustrated with the town that can be just as maddening...sorry it is such a bore there without your friends, etc...i dont have a quick answer for you...so hang in there...what does your guy do that he cant find something in minn?

He's a manager at a Mcdonalds, which as you can probably imagine doesnt pay much. I don't care as much about the money part, but I dont think it would be easy for us to live together in Minneapolis

well with mcdee he should be able to transfer...? and why not on the living together in minn?

Well, its more expensive there, thats a big one. I dont need to live in a mansion, but I dont want the roach motel either.

i understand... :xoxo: if you love him lots...hang in there...
and keep your eye open for good places to live
and nearby mcdees...good luck sweets :xoxo:

God bless you. :angel: You are such a caring Person Niki, I really appriciate it

I'm a dweeb when it comes to love. I've always said, and totally mean it, that I would live in an abandoned shack somewhere in the Appalachias if I was sharing it with my mate.

As long as there aren't any serious problems in your relationship itself, my advice would be to stay where you are for now. The trick is to focus on why you're there (the man you love), and to make the most of it.
And you can always set a goal to move, in the not-too-distant future, somewhere that would be mutually beneficial to both of you. :)

Thank you for the advice. THat's great that you think that way about love. It shows that you're heaarts in the right place. :nod:

I feel the same way but was unable to express it so eloquently!

Anytime. :)

I'm a weird combination... a hopeless romantic with a pragmatic side (must be the Virgo in me). I don't expect things to be textbook "perfect"... there will always be arguments and personality differences. But I think that, if you really love the person, those things can be worked out. I think we only go wrong when we expect every day with someone to feel exactly like the first time we met, or when we expect our partner to want 100% of the same things we want, 100% of the time.

So, yeah, hopeless romantic here. But with a more practical view of things.

Well, I am an Aries, so maybe that's why I try to "RAM" my opinions through to Derek. :laugh:

slightly diff situation, but a friend of mine met a guy..(actually, I introduced them) from a small town. She was from my hometown, which is pretty small, but this is even WORSE. Anywho..she moved down there because he had rental property and couldnt leave. She literally HATED it...I mean, on the verge of depression. she has been there 7 months now and is just now starting to enjoy it more. I think she is starting to make friends of her own, (not girlfriends of HIS friends) and starting to make a name for herself, blah blah-. anyway...try to give it some more time if this guy is worth it. maybe a year? (I know..that's a LONG time away..but what have you got to lose?? other than your sanity?? heheh ;) ) and if things don't improve, make a change....