Spark Vegas
 

I am sure I will probably repeat some stuff other people have already reported. However, I can't resist issuing a report on the shenanigans in Vegas. Of course my personal clown show was different that anyone else's.

The drive from LA was surprisingly smooth. Made it in less than 4 hours, and there were some mercifully cloudy spots. The weather was actually beautiful at these times. Half the sky was bright and half cloudy. The ground was shaded, and all the clouds were brilliantly illuminated from the sides and top. Spectacular. I about wrecked my truck staring at the sky.

Unfortuantely, I got to our hotel before Clayre and my name wasn't on the reservation. Was I able to check in? HELL NO. Extremely helpful and understanding desk staff. Wouldn't have known customer service if it hit them in the head with a club. Which I would have taken great pleasure in doing.

So, I drove around. Took LV boulevard south, and landed in what seemed to be an ENDLESS ghetto. I finally escaped, and it was no easy feat. I can barely find my way down the strip. Off I went to some random outlet store. It was one of those fake outlet stores - you're lucky to get 30% off. However, I did score an excellent baseball cap at Fossil that says "Sparky's Electric." It's awesome. I will post a picture of it.

So, Clayre arrives, and after quick showers and costume wrangling, we are off to PF Changs. We expected an adventure there since last time a hot UPS driver was flirting with BOTH of us. Alas, the only excitement was that I thought for about 10 minutes that I was going to puke. Who knows why ? I was sweating, pale as a friggin sheet, and considered not going to the show. I snarfed down a bunch of ice water, and eventually was back to my Kung Pao and the first of many Patron margaritas.

Off to the CP ! We made a beeline to the Seahorse, and after snagging another cocktail, spotted Strand, Livia, and Jessica. Chris Nicks, of course, was with them. He is ubiquitous (that was for you, Strand). We hung there for a bit, and then went in the theatre.

The place was probably at 75% capacity. The balconies were pretty sparse, but the main floor was full. Pretty typical crowd.

So, the show was pretty much as expected. There were a few notable exceptions, however.

Notable moments :

1) Stevie Shake

The massive body shake/boob show in the SB bridge. Homegirl was shaking it hard. I didn't realize how hard until I saw the instant replay afterwards on Mariel's cam. It was out of control. She was giggling and having a hoot of a time.

2) The Moth

Okay, I said after the LA show that the projections had improved greatly. And they did. However, GDW all of a sudden was all about Moths. There was this big assed, furry looking moth up there for much of the time. When she was saying "You can't save me now" I had to cover my mouth, because I was cackling out loud, thinking "No Stevie, I cannot save you from MOTHRA." Only the projectionist can save you. Run for cover, Tokyo, you are about to be destroyed again !

3) Screen Bust

During Sorcerer, I think the screen crapped out. All of a sudden it was black, then the images looked random. All this crazy kaleidescope crap that I don't remember seeing before.

4) Drunk 70's girl

This provided some stellar entertainment. This stupid, f-ed up girl in the row in front of us was really something. She was close to the center. She was tall, very thin, long dark brown hair, and wore dark, retro 70's Jackie O sunglasses the whole night. Someone evidently neglected to tell her she wasn't Corey Hart. A sun hat topped off her silly get up.
She stood up from the beginning. Which was fine with us. She was 6 seats or so over. It was not, however, fine with the nebbish little guy behind her. They got into several altercations thoughout the night. After these, she would stumble down the row, and leave for some unknown destination. Then she would come back and invariably forget which row she was in. Everyone watched her stumbled and mumble and attempt to look cool. She was a mess.

5) Monitor Drama

In the middle of HSML, Stevie's ear monitor evidently went out. We had gone up to the stage and were at the center with one person in front of us. She waved her hands, and said she could hear nothing. So, she sang the bridge an octave low... the rest of the song was kind of off. No surprise. The problem is - I think she basically left the building for about 20 minutes. Edge seemed like it was completely phoned in to me. She was not into it.
During the drum solo, I slipped into something I dubbed the EOS drum stupor.
Similar to, but less severe than the WT drum stupor, the symptoms include a slack jaw and a blank stare. Think Beck.

6) White Trash Wonderland

As I uttered to Brian (liquidblue) before I had met him, after the show, "There is a lot of drunken white trash in here".
Lots of yelling between songs. An unacceptable amount. Who on earth thinks that Stevie wants to hear them holler at her during B&TB ? How intoxicated do you have to be to think she cares ? She knows you love her. You paid her a lot of money. Now shut your drunken hole already. Such behavior should result in expulsion from a concert. God help those people if they are ever seated next to my surly ass at a show.

Unreal.

Post show, the whole mess of us eventually ended up at the Seahorse. Lucky me, I got to sit by Mariel and see the clips on her cam. You Rock !
There wasn't enough room for everyone to sit, so we herded off to Margaritaville. I find the place a little suspect, but it was a hoot.
I didn't get to talk to that many people. Strand, Clayre and I were embroiled in all kinds of silliness at our end of the table. It was fun to hear dsrtangl tell the backstage story and show us his cool tattoo. Strand is so god-damned funny. I about spit up booze and/or pissed myself more than once. Much craziness and fun. I will NEVER forget that foul Britney comment. NEVER. You really outdid yourself with that one, man.

Clayre and I turned into pumpkins about 2, I guess, and didn't crash till 3.

Traffic home was at times apocalyptic. But I made it home in 5 hours.

The trip was well worth it. We guiltily got our seats half price, which made me feel bad for those who didn't. The show in LA was far better. I kind of expected Stevie to really pull out the stops on the last night - but experience should have told me otherwise. It was fine, but I am here to tell ya, she totally checked out after that ear monitor thing. Even before that, there were moments that I thought she was kind of.....I don't know. Out of it. Or not into it. But, all in all I would give it a solid B. Rock and Roll was great, and B&TB is down to a science. Lori really shines on this.
The sound was kind of muddy. Stevie vocals were a little low in the mix, and the girls were extremely loud sometimes. I was in the mens room during Landslide and they were about all I could hear. Was the sound guy installing that godforsaken MOTH instead of mixing the sound ? Oh, and by the way, those WRETCHED papier mache columns dropped out of the flyspace during IAF. Not only are those things straight out of a community theatre, but they were off centered and one sits half on the floor and half off. Lord Have Mercy.

It was fun, though. If this happens again, I will go the night before. Sorry I missed the karaoke on Friday. And it would have been nice to visit with more folks. Next time !

BTW, LIVIA and JESSICA.....What the hell happened to you two ?
Spill it, girls !

Great, and funny, review Sparky! Glad you had fun! :woohoo:

Moths now during GDW??? Sick. I happen to HATE moths! They totally freak me out! :distress: How about more skeletons or something instead Stevie...please? :(

~Jamie

:laugh: ALL I could think of was those two little women singing "MOOOOTTHHHHHHAAAAAAA" with natives dancing :laugh:

I also expected some showgirl to bust out of one of those columns during IAF :laugh:

Its a high class problem :cool:

OMG. I totally forgot about them !

Full on. :laugh:

:woohoo:

Why the moth ? The corker was there was a butterfly kind of thing at the end flapping its wings, and the color was the same as the GDW shawl. If she would have started flapping her arms, I would have had a stroke.

fyi that was not me :] did you happen to pass a wheelbarrel in the middle of the #2 lane? i cant stand that stretch to vegas! you would think if bellagio made $40 million in slot revenue last quarter some of these casinos could kick in sumthing for an additional lane :shrug:

I love your reviews, Sparky. Thanks for posting. :)

LOL. My thoughts exactly. There is plenty of existing blacktop for another lane. I did pass two squashed cars, but nothing else. Oh, some PT Cruiser was halfway pulled off the road in one spot. HALFWAY. Like they couldn't have pushed it another foot ? Beaten. Beaten. Those people needed to be beaten.

:xoxo: :xoxo: :wavey:

yep i thought about a nice clean sideswipe...
what else to do on that boreass drive but to fantz about running over the idiots :nod:

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Best review ever.

OMG, I can't believe I forgot about the MOTH until reading this! We were going, "WTF is THAT???" I saw it as a transitional thing - a la Silence of the Lambs. LOL

After the show, were on the Colosseum steps, then my friends from San Antonio called and joined us - they were in the 10th row, I told Christina to rush the stage during HSML - she did, and got to shake Stevie's hand, and was the millionth person to comment on how soft Stevie's hands are....anyway, then we ran into some other people we knew - and ended up getting our first post-show drink at the bar right in front of the venue - not the Shadow Bar, but the rectangle-shaped bar in the middle of the casino....we went by the Seahorse, but no one from the Ledge was there...we came back again a couple more times, and still didn't see anyone. Oh well....much, much, much alcohol consumption - breakfast buffet at our hotel at 4 AM and crashed when the sun came up! I just got home about an hour ago...

I'm bummed I didn't get to meet more Ledgies (Curtis, Brian, everyone else...). Next time.... :p

OMG. I thought sure you were describing Mary kate Olsen until I reread the "tall" part.

Great review, cracked me right up.

Glad you had a great time sparky. I love the SB boobage and shakeage!

I was laughing and cheer and dancing (like she was) so hard when she did that, I thought it might explode. Poor Seeker007 was sitting right behind me the whole time :eek: SORRY SEEKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :wavey: