reflections
 

I just wrote this in my live journal. I didn't mean for it to be a whole entry about Stevie but it did, and I thought you guys might like to read it.

Every time I go through a major event in my life, Stevie Nicks is there. Okay, obviously not in person, but in a strange way she's been a guide for me all these years. I learned to sing by listening to her songs and watching her and Lindsay Buckingham figure out the harmony to the song "Angel" in a documentary for the making of the album Tusk. I learned to write lyrics by reading all her writing and deconstructing it and seeing the meaning in her work. When I was in college, going through all the change a college student goes through, Rock A Little was the soundtrack of my life. "Has Anyone Ever Written Anything For You" was a song that made me feel special when nothing else would. "You know I'd rather be alone than to be without you". Then came "The Other Side of the Mirror" during my second summer home from school, a time when I realized my future would not be in that small town of Rochester, yet I was powerless to go anywhere else. A prisoner of time. Her song, "Ghost" made me realize that I was not alone and there was someone looking out for me. "So you look to your guardian angel, some of them are here on earth, some of them are way up there in heaven". When the "Street Angel" CD came out, I was as messed up as Stevie was. She admits that she hated that album so much that she took the songs from it out of the tour one by one until by the end of the Street Angel tour, there were no Street Angel songs on it. I knew how she felt, so it was still special to me. Only a few years ago, I was in a terrible relationship with two guys whom I was living with (yes, a very modern kind of relationship, heh heh). I was torn between leaving the one who was very cruel and would go to great lenghts to destroy any sense of self esteem I had and the other, a very sad and innocent guy whom I truely cared for and adored. I decided it was time to leave and "Trouble in Shangri-la" came out. Appropriate title to my situation. On one song she sang, "It wasn't that I didn't love you, I just couldn't make you see, that as hard as I tried to make it all better, it was not better for me". She put words and music to my situation and gave me strength to go on. And now. Even though there's no new Stevie album out, I find this wonderful cache of rare recordings and unrelased songs. At a time in my life where I'm re-evaluating everything that I am and re-examining where my path is leading to, here I am listening to different versions of old songs I'm very familliar with and seeing them in a new light. Once again, she's with me.

I do fantasize about running into her somewhere in LA. Not that Stevie Nicks shops at Raplh's or pops into The French Market for a burger, but stranger things have happened. I wouldn't accost her on the street. I wouldn't shout out "OH MY GOD!!! You're STEVIE NICKS!!!" (I mean, come on, she knows who she is). I would simply smile at her. And if we had a moment to share a word or two I would probably just say "thank you". That's all. She's been told countless times by countless fans that she's an inspiration. She doesn't need me to get all emotional on her. But it would mean a lot to just say "thank you" and know that she's heard it. :)

That was very beautiful. Thank you for sharing. It made me think how I couldn't imagine the world without Stevie. :angel:

Thank you, Amber. That was very nice of you to say. :)

I can relate to everything you wrote and I don't mind baring my soul a little either. Stevie's music has helped me through some really tough times. When I was about 15, I fell in with a crowd that was much older than me and by 17, I was well on my way to some major addictions. I was into headbanging music only (I still like it, though :thumbsup: ), being coked out of my mind most of the time and generally being unaware of any real world outside of my own. My mom couldn't deal anymore and sent me to live with her sister, my aunt. I fought that tooth and nail, but I went. That's how I got turned on to Stevie. I was helping my aunt clean out her garage one day and she put on Tusk. I didn't even recognize that it was FM at all and wasn't paying much attention. To make a long story short, when Storms started playing I asked my aunt if that was Stevie Nicks. She said yes and asked if I liked it. Never one to give an inch on anything or to anyone, I said it was ok. This sounds so ****ing sappy, but something about it got my attention. Later, when my aunt wasn't around, I put Tusk (vinyl) back on and listened to the whole thing. When I heard Storms again, I listened to it all the way through, picked up the needle, put it back on Storms, listened to it again and just kept doing that. I felt like an idiot, but something about her voice and that song in particular had a calming effect on me. So, I went out and bought some FM and some Stevie (I started with Rumours, WA and my own copy of Tusk (cd) and I found a copy of Street Angel used). That was all I could afford at the time, but I devoured those and then started buying the rest little by little on the internet when I had the money. I don't think my cd player has been without some FM or Stevie in it since that time. It took me many more years to finally get clean, so it's not like she was my savior or anything but I think her music kept me a lot calmer through those years than I would have been otherwise. Now, Street Angel and Tusk have a really special place in my heart and there are so many other songs that have had an impact on me when I was hitting bottom, getting clean, recovering and, now, staying clean. Storms, The Nightmare, Fall From Grace and others are like a part of my life and if I had the ability to write well (which I don't) I could have written some of those in my own journal. No longer using, I have depression sometimes and anxiety and I listen to her a lot these days. Somehow, it also helps me to know that she went through the same thing (though I'm sorry she did) and that if I was ever lucky enough to meet her, she would probably talk to me about it and relate to me on every part of it. Just knowing that, and seeing how strong she is now, is enough. I would love to meet her, but I really don't have to.

Sorry about the sappy post, but can you relate to Listen To The Rain? They aren't my favorite lyrics, but I know exactly where she was..

Well you're a victim
Phantom of the opera
And you've been everywhere
And you live in dark shadows
You do what you want to
There's no beauty and the beast here

Well you're not like anyone else
You're just an instant flash of light
That shines

Well open up the window
And you will hear the rain
Come back to me once more
And throw away the pain

Well she didn't know better
Well she didn't know then that the sound that she heard
Was the sound of her own door closing

Open up the window
And listen to the rain
Take some time to smell the roses
And you can throw away the pain

:xoxo: Stevie
:sorry: for the cheese

(Please someone write something sappier than what I just did!) :laugh:

(Btw, if you've never listened to Tusk on vinyl, you have to. I have the cd now, but there's something about the vinyl that makes it sound better or richer. I don't know but if you know someone who has a copy, listen to it. :nod: )

you know something?? i remember hearing her talk about that, but that's actually not true at all.. up until the very last show, she continued to perform "Blue Denim" and "Destiny", both from Street Angel... so, while she may have cut "Docklands" and "Maybe Love" as the tour went on, the other two remained in the set until the very last show... :confused:

i didnt like how docklands sounded at the street angel jones beach show i was at. that was my first stevie show. will never forget it.