Stevie Nicks blames pills for childlessness
 

read this in the Age newspaper Melbourne Australia toady...what do you think? thought I would share.
http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/p...506-1eavt.html :confused:

The headline is pretty flipping sensationalistic. It doesn't really come off that way at all when you read what she actually said. She was just playing the ol' "what if?" game. No big thing, really.

no matter how much she says she chose not to have children to be an artist, i think she does wish she found that someone special and had a child. i think seeing her ex's do that kills her a little inside.just my little thought.

^ True I think deep down she always wanted at least one child especially in those Klonopin days.

What gets me is some of these doctors keep pushing these drugs on their patients and dont notice they cant get off the drugs they prescribe to them.they keep pushing until its to late.Luckly Stevie got help before it was to late..

It must burn. All of the men got to fukc around and have fun back in the day. Now, because they're men, they can decide to settle down and have children with a trophy wife. While a woman only has a certain amount of time to have children, the men get to have their cake and eat it too.

*end feminist post*

I can't picture Stevie as a mother. She's too much of a self-involved individual. While the concept of being married and having a child might appeal to her now, that wasn't her fate. For as long as she's been a rock star, she has always stated that she didn't want a child or marriage because it would hinder her career and creative pursuits, not to mention her free-style life.

Though ill-fated from the start, her brief marriage failed partly because she put her career ahead of all else. And, as she mentioned, very few men would be able to deal with her independance and the demands of her career.

I like that she chose a more uncoventional path: it just adds to her unique-ness!

It must be excruciating. The male rock stars were at least as wild as she was in the 70s and 80s and almost none of them could really raise a family well. But as they've aged and cut back on their worst indulgences, men like Lindsey and Rod Stewart can settle into old age with a former model by their side and perfect children at their feet.

Biology's a b*tch.

:nod:

Whenever she talks about it I get the feeling deep down she wishes things would have turned out differently. I could be completely off but I get that feeling every single time that she is trying to play it off as something that doesn't bother her as much as it really does.

Absolutely. In her prime "baby-making" years she was so busy and so screwed up (drug wise) it wouldn't have been plausible for her to have children. But in the last 10 years things have slowed down a bit but it was too late, unlike Lindsey who has a younger wife to make his babies. I'm listening to "Beautiful Child" while typing this and it is making me very very sad so I think I must stop :(

i agree with you. perfectly said. and what bothers me is that it seems many of the men in her life left her or cheated on her (or just couldn't handle her success) and then went off to marry other blondes and married and had kids with them. i used to hear don henley did not try to talk her into having the baby, that it was more like he was almost happy she was not going to. i do wonder if he had been happy of the news she would have been happy about it too and not used fleetwood mac as an excuse to not have a baby at that time. but then he goes off with other chics and eventually marries and has kids.

she is brave in her world of rock n roll which was once dominated by men, but in her role as a woman, i am not sure how brave she is. in the whole "if i could go back in time being who i am today, after al i've learned," i wouldn't not be surprised if she had that baby and told don to take a hike.

all pure speculation on my part. but something in her does have regrets and i think a deep sadness is still hidden, not healed. i could (and hopefully am) totally wrong. she does not seem happy about being in her house alone again, after the recording was all over. does she have any roommates like she always used to have?

I agree with some of this.
It made me think of remarks Katharine Hepburn made about having been too selfish for motherhood and choosing to make her life about her.
To reach that level of stardom, performers have to put themselves and their art first and children force them to make difficult choices. Many artists are probably great parents, and many parents are great artists, but some compromises must be made.

Stevie often says she chose her art over a family and in many ways that's true (after all, she made a very deliberate choice four times). And yet, I'm convinced she regrets not having had a child. In fact, I doubt she believes she "chose a more unconventional path"--I think she feels that the choice was taken away from her more than once.

Katharine actually made a great part of her life about Spence, I think.

Even though it might have been too late for Stevie to have a child, she could have adopted. I don't think it would have even have been too late for Stevie to have (adopt) a child after The Dance, if she wanted.

Of course, as with the men, I wonder if it's fair to the child to keep procreating when you know you can only live long enough to get them through college -- if you're lucky. It hurts to lose a parent at any age, but it shapes your growth when you're still an adolescent. I feel sorry for these young children with seventy year old dads.

Michele

I agree with you very much here.

And I don't agree with this idea that no man could tolerate Stevie's "independence" & that's why she never had a lasting relationship. You don't find a lasting relationship--that's a child's notion--you create one. For whatever reason, she never created one. Lasting relationships require more than just the man to "accept" the woman's independence. They also require the woman (in this case, Stevie) to commit to a lasting relationship with a man (or vice versa). Stevie obviously never made that commitment. Committing requires giving up a goodly chunk of what you want in favor of the unity of the couple & their family or life plans.

Was Stevie Nicks willing to give up anything for a lasting relationship? She isn't to blame if she wasn't, but at the same time, she & we can't continually blame all the men she dated for all these problems.

Stevie ought to just start telling the world that she kinda wanted a lasting relationship & kinda wanted children, but she wanted what she now has a heck of a lot more.

As for biology being a bummer, yes, I guess it is: women can't have their own children all their lives, one out of three men gets an enlarged prostate that often turns into cancer (if he lives long enough). Biology's a bummer for all of us. But Stevie could have adopted children: she'd have made a fantastic mom, don't you think? She's sweet & kind & mostly sensible & believes in rules & some structure & order & good deeds.

Christine was, to me, the most honest about this back in the mid 1970s. She told the press she didn't want kids--she didn't think she'd like being a mom--& she had a hysterectomy. And that was the last we heard of that.

This "I wanted this" & "I wanted that" & "I gave up this" & "I gave up that" . . . I'm sorry. No. There isn't a single person on this board who can't say the same thing. Sacrifice & compromise are a major part of all our lives . . . except for Donald Trump.

I'm still waiting for the interview where she acknowledges the eight
years of Klonopin use was due to her own choosing and that although
she had the opportunity and was not lacking financially she
made the conscious choice not to have children.

She just chose to "check out" on life during that period. Take ownership
of it, Stevie. It wasn't the fault of the pills, it wasn't the fault of the doctor,
it was a choice YOU made for yourself.

I've always wondered...why is it so important to fans to see her as some tragic figure?

When I hear Stevie in these interviews say that she's happy now she doesn't have kids and can do anything she wants, when she wants b/c of it, I think it's her way of looking at the positive side of her situation. That doesn't mean that she didn't want them back then and doesn't have some regret over the choices she made. It's just that today, she's happy with where she is at. I tell myself the same thing about being single and childless. I am happy but I still have my moments of regret and the thoughts of "what if" from time to time.

Oh and PS? It pisses me off that men can have kids when they're 70 as long as they can find some young babe but women just don't have those kinds of choices unless we're willing to endure massive amounts of hormones to sustain a late-in-life pregnancy using someone else's eggs--and then the likelihood of developing cancer like Elizabeth Edwards did skyrockets.

She made the right choice. Had she had a child she would not have taken care it very well. That's why she didn't do it. She should be praised for her thoughtful decision.

Come on Stevie. Accept responsibility for a decision you made, long before your mad klonopin doctor got a hold of you. Not many people would think of a woman in her 40s being in her prime child bearing years anyway, not even by today's standards. Stevie is just playing the blame game here. Sadly it depicts just how sorry she really is for never becoming a mother and having that family. Most likely a regret she will take to her grave. Hopefully her music and art will ger her through the times of regret in her "golden years".

I don't believe for a second that Stevie doesn't grieve the children aborted. Most women do. It's not like getting a tooth pulled. I'm sure she has regrets in her quietest moments.

Yeah, relationships are a two-way street. If you really want one you have to be willing to sacrifice something of yourself to maintain it. I don't know if Stevie just never found the guy she felt safe enough with to do that. She'd worked hard to get where she was and to give up some of that she may have never felt the men she'd been involved with were really worth it. That's important too. If he's not devoted to her, she may not have wanted to devote to him. I think a lot of these guys Stevie hooked up with were not really worth it and she knew it. No trust there for the sacrifice. Maybe she's never really, really been safely in love. I know the feeling. Never met a guy I thought worth all of that.

I don't know if any of you have gone through addiction and rehab. I have and it's no party. Anyway, when I got out of rehab my shrink prescribed me Librium and because he's a doctor I thought:"He knows best, he's been working with addicts for years" so I took them and I've been hooked on those pills for years because he kept saying I should take them. Stevie probably went through the same thing, thinking:"He knows what he's doing". I don't think she's to blame for her Klonopin addiction, the doctor however is. He pushed those pills on her. I know how it works, I've been there.

Please. A statement like that has no validity and is based on complete speculation. It's also, in the least, cold-hearted.

I think the contrary, IMO she would have been a wonderful mother, unfortunately we'll never know. It seems to me she really misses not having children and probably not having fought enough for a relationship so she tries to rationalize, and give herself excuses that make her live with less regrets.

I agree with everything you said. A LOT of people believe the doctor knows what is right--he/she went to medical school.

Exactly and when you come out of rehab you're very insecure, at least I was. I felt vulnerable and didn't know what the heck to do in the 'big bad world out there'. Being in rehab you feel safe because you're with other people who go through the same thing and there's doctors and shrinks and people you can talk to when you're going through a rough time. Coming out is a totally different story.

Her impression of the doctor seems to be less about his authority or
medical degree and more about his interest in her fame.

I think Lindsey had a lot to do with Stevie never settling down in a lasting realtionship. It's pure specualtion, but reading between the lines, I think we can all say fairly confidently that they were still sleeping together for many years after they split up, and I have personal experience of how poisonous this can be - to the two people involved and to any relationship they attempt to have with other people.

I think deep down Stevie always thought her and Lindsey would get back together and she kept holding out for him, waiting. I think it was less a case of not being able to find a man who was willing to be Mr Stevie Nicks, and more that no man was willing to be in a relationship with a Stevie who was still in love with another man. I think that's why she gets so angry with Lindsey sometimes; maybe deep down she knows she kept holding out for him and he never came back to her.

Then again, maybe I've had a glass or two of wine on a Saturday night and am thinking about this way too much! ;)

:thumbsup:

Maybe when Lindsey and I are 60 years old, we'll look around and say, 'You know what, there just isn't anybody better around. Maybe we'll just get married or something.' But, Lindsey and I are becoming really good friends again. …It's really nice. I don't think we were all that good of friends before.
~Stevie Nicks, New York Post, July 22, 1997

What was it that Stevie said about the two of them sitting on a porch together in rocking chairs when they were old or something?

....Did I make that up?

You just may be on to something here!

It's also possible that Stevie deep down realized with her rock n roll goddess life style fueled by cocaine, etc., that she could not be the mother she wanted to be, a good mother. I think the decision to have those abortions still haunts her to this day. And all Stevie was doing in that interview was musing on what could have been.

What cracks me up about this quote is that is was 3 mos before was the over my dead body comment.

So something went down between then..oh wait...um, yeah, we know what or should I say who got down between those two dates.

Yes, I think she was right when she said she was the type that would have hated to see her child run into the nanny's arms and that as a mother she would have been a bad parent and a bad rocker. But she's probably always liked kids and thought that she had an abundance of affection to give them.

Michele

And I think it's kind of the "bad boy" syndrome, that the guys she was most attracted to were the least likely to build long term relationships. The ones that would have made good life partner material were probably a little boring to her. Michele

Please. Stevie has said in many interviews that if she were a mother, she would have to be the best. She wasn't going to have a child addicted to cocaine and drinking booze. She made the right choice. Hardly, cold-hearted. I think she is a smart, considerate person for not having a child. I think Mackenzie Phillips and Tatum O'neal are good example of neglect. Stevie was not even going to take a chance that that would happen.

:lol: I know I saw that too. They really do go back and forth a lot. That was probably a really hard time for her.

Absolutely. And then there was this quote in 2009 from a MTV interview.

Asked when she knew the romance was really over, Nicks said, "The day his first child was born. I knew that was it ... that was the definitive thing."

I think this statement is so profound because she is basically admitting to herself and us, that things were still in play till Kristen turned up pregnant. And probably for some time after that. ..aka some TISL and SYW lyrics.

She had that with Matthew when Kim wouldn't let her take care of him right after he was born, they had a nanny (Bridget) who took care of him while she wanted to. And she loves kids, look at the footage of the outtakes of the Tusk documentary where she's seen with Mick's children, the basement tapes where that little girl found her bracelet, Elaine in 1983 Stand Back etc. She adores children.

I've always been curious about this. So many songs about "forbidden" or "secret" love, beginning with Kind of Woman (I think?). Always the other woman. Is she afraid of commitment? Bored by it? Have such poor self esteem that she doesn't ever feel she deserves to be #1 in an intimate relationship? I need Stevie on my couch and I won't be a "groupie"!