Dating Preferences (Relocated Thread)
 

Maybe the hot ones weren't around that night. :shrug: Are you telling me that if you were young & drunk & flying high, you'd have the good (sober)sense to turn a bitch down if she offers? Again, I think it's gross too but why put down the woman because she's not what you consider beautiful? Say what you will, but Connie became famous & well liked by many bands in that era. She knew what she was doing & got what she wanted.

And I'm sure Val's weight gain had a little bit to do with her ex. Maybe just a little. Not blaming him, but I'm sure life wasn't easy with Eddie for a husband.

And who made you fat, btw?

So this Grand Funk Railroad song came on the other day....not sure if this has been mentioned yet but I remembered this thread...never knew!

"Out on the road for forty days
Last night in Little Rock, put me in a haze
Sweet, sweet Connie was doin' her act
She had the whole show and that's a natural fact"

I don't know much of their marital details.

Ronald McDonald. I blame him. Him, and general apathy, on my part. And for the past 17 months, I've only purchased maybe 4 salads from Ronald. Nothing else. No bread. No beef. Vegetables, are your friend.

Sure, she is/wasn't much to look at, but, good Lawd, the girl was up for doing anything. I suspect there isn't an act, fluid, position or orifice that she hasn't fully explored. Seventeen-year-old hotties may be nice to look at, but chances are they are just going to lie there like corpses.

I haven't been to Mickey D's in years. Hell, the last time I ate out was in December and it was for the last Diner Run following the Sci Fi Forum's weekly meetings for the fall semester (for me and everyone else, it's more than just eating, it's a social experience where you chat and have fun with friends every week)

Yeah, but I don't find many 40yo's, attractive(not all, though). So I split the difference. Oddly, 22yo's seem to have a thing for me. Not 21. 22. Always 22. It's strange. I'm currently dating a 23yo(who was 22, when we first dated).

And say what you will...if I'm with a 40yo, little Homer isn't always.....interested.:distress: If I'm with a hottie, little Homer(okay, trying to stay creative, within our "warning")....transforms! ;):D:]

Well, the sad thing is, that I love Mickey D's! Mmm, Quarter Pounder with cheese, and a Filet of Fish(with extra tartar sauce!)! I'd pay $20 to eat that everyday, with no repercussions!
But I divorced those foods. Hopefully for life.:(:o
Don't get me wrong. I miss them, terribly. But I know what I want out of this body, and I'm going to keep that resolve.

Well, as the old saying goes, we all look the same in the dark. :shrug:

Right. But I honestly find the "boing factor", amazing. If they're 40, I feel like I'd like to try Viagra. If they're 22, well, there's an Alabama song, called "Can't keep a Good Man Down".:lol:

I wish I felt the same for the 40yo's. Because honestly, life would probably be easier. Oh well, life's never been easy. At least it's exciting!:wavey:

Exactly.


Are you serious? :shocked: I mean, most people are more attracted to a younger body as a rule, no secret there. But 40 is not 70 - Christ, I'm going to be 36 & my husband can still get it up for me. :shrug: Drawing the line at 40? I sense some performance anxiety... ;)

Maybe it's the 40 year olds your hangning around with. Get with a better crowd, dude. :lol:

I'm not saying I can't, for the 40's. But I've noticed HOW MUCH easier it is, with the younger. Day.And.Night.

It's almost life one takes effort, and the other, takes none whatsoever. Let's compare it to seeing FM in 1982, vs 2010. Which would you pick?:D


^^^btw, I love that analogy.

But also, I live in a college town. Most of my friends are 22-28. Hell, half of the town is 19-25.

Not to be a prude/feminazi/whatever, but this is a pretty crass way of looking at women.
Speaking as a 21-year-old, I can honestly say that there is not a 40-year-old on earth I would sleep with. But that's because I can't see myself having that kind of emotional connection with someone closer to my father's age than my own--not because of a dearth of attractive 40-somethings.
And most men I've talked to have made it pretty clear that for a single hook-up, it's all the same in the dark.


As for "Sweet Connie," I can see the appeal. Enthusiastic, open-minded. And yeah--once the lights are out, probably a lot more fun than a cute 17y-o.

Just picking your brain here, but would you judge a 20 something girl who strictly dated/boinked men in their 40s? I have a female friends who strictly go for younger men... what's the verdict on that? How about those who only date one race (be it their own or vice versa?). I don't know... I guess my point is we all have our own tastes, and I'd argue much of them are innate.

For what it's worth, my other half is 11 years older... and it's been the best relationship of my entire life. I'm probably old for my age, and he's certainly young for his. It just works, plain and simple. I can say if I were to become single again, there's no way... no WAY I'd ever go younger again. To each their own in regards to dating/sexuality, I say. If Sweet Connie's your thing, great. If she's not... that's cool too. :thumbsup:

Right. We all do have our own taste. I'd say I sound like your sig other. I'm 42, and my 28yo friend told me, last night, when we were discussing me dating a 23yo. He said, "Well David, you neither look your age, nor act your age". My 23yo says, "you act like you're 19, and you have the libido of a 14yo".

And for the record, I'd like to state, that I haven't pursued any off these young ones. I dated the current one, a year ago. After nine months of silence(no emails, nothing...)I got an email, about two months ago, saying,(I don't want this to sound like bragging, or anything like that)"I can't get you out of my mind, even after all these months. While I thought I couldn't deal with our age difference, I have decided, indeed, that you're the real deal. When you told me that you loved me, it freaked me out. But I now know that you were being sincere, and not just saying that, to score someone young. I'm sorry, and I was very cruel to you, and you deserve better than that. And if you'd like to try it again, slowly, I'd like that".

And so it goes. And we're going slowly. And it's going pretty darned good.

No judgements on girlfriends who boink 40-year-olds. It's just not for me. Personally, I would only sleep with someone with whom I felt an emotional connection (no judgements on casual sex either--just not my thing), and being young and still in college, I have yet to relate to a 40-year-old on that level.

Of course everyone has their own tastes! And that's fine. I've dinged guys for being shorter than me--hosts of other reasons, really, and many of them superficial. If we're honest with ourselves, looks do matter, to almost all of us.
Some guys prefer blonds, some curvy chicks, and nearly all prefer younger women. Why? Because they're designed to. Mother nature wired men to spread their seed, and that entails seeking out fertile females. So I accept it as a biological inevitability that men will go for a 20-something over a 40-something, nine times out of ten.
So Homer's basic points weren't particularly surprising, but the way he phrased them came off a little, well, hinky to me. Sort of an implication that women exist to serve little Homer? And that once we hit our expiration date, we're not even worth getting it up for? Uh, that's a little harsher than "I tend to go for younger women," for example. JMO, of course *shrugs*

Anyway, the most recent post was definitely sweeter. Homer, if you're happy then I'm genuinely happy for both of you. All the best.

What in the world is "hinky"?:lol:

No, I'm only stating little Homer's preference! Little Homer doesn't rule Big Homer, however.

So far, this time, I've got a good feeling about it.:woohoo:

Hinky? It's slangy, I guess. It means, basically, "not quite right." I've always thought it was kind of a fun word.

BTW, this has reminded me of the hubbub around a John Mayer comment a while ago. There was some controversy over his voiced preference for white girls (or rather, he stated that little John wasn't open to black girls). I'm not saying the issue is identical by any means (race is a social construction, whereas age is not). But it's a fascinating debate, I think--is it okay to have preferences? And how can one voice those preferences? It's not a simple question, and I'm not sure of the answer. But I thought this was an interesting article if anyone wants to do more reading.

http://jezebel.com/5469484/its-impos...premacist-dick

And, uh, sorry for swerving way off topic, everyone!

very nicely explained mezzoforte. and yes, homer's comment reminded me of a johm meyer thing too.

so homer, your phrasing apparently left a very similar impression on a 20yo, 30+yo and 40+yo woman. i don't think that was your intent, but if you don't really want to come accross as some kind of "bragging sexist prick", you may want to consider toning down these types of comments.

I did sound for John Mayer, once. He was really nice. But there should be nothing wrong, with stating your preferences. On a Seinfeld, Elaine calls Jerry racist, because he likes Asian women. Jerry says, "how is it racist, if I LIKE their race?" PC-ness, has reached a ridiculous level.

Always remember, the written word, can easily be misconstrued. I think you've taken a couple of things, not in the context in which they were intended.

definitely agree. and like i said, mezzoforte stated everything so nicely, from biology to tastes. we all have our preferences. and, i'm very happy that my brother who's your age has a 20+yo gf.:)

just letting you know what (not only my) impression is.

My biggest problem with dating that age range, is that they always ASSume, that I'm so different from them. Like I don't have hopes, dreams, fear of rejection, and love in my heart. Like I'm not able to cry, or be vulnerable, or something. I'm very strong, but I'm not tough. There is a difference.
Because, at least inside, I feel like we're pretty much the same. Believe it or not, I have an innocent, giving, loving heart. I'm confident, but that doesn't mean I still can't be those other things.

I have no problem with age differences between people who are dating, banging, married, whatever. I do have a problem with a woman being judged/written off as unattractive or gross just because she's older, or just because she's overweight.

There's no way she had that many commas in her email. :laugh:

Hope it works out well for you both. Really. Although, whatever will you do 17 years (or 25 pounds) from now...

The age has never been a problem for me(imagine that). The weight loss, however, was a SHOCK(as we hadn't seen each other for nine months), and I was told, "I no longer find you attractive, now that you're a skinny white boy". It took a couple weeks of getting used to. It's all good, now.

Um, I think Sckin meant when your gf ages 20 years, puts on 25 pounds (as in, will you toss her out with the garbage?). Not your weight loss.

I don't really have a problem with a little chub, on OTHERS. Honestly. My weight loss, is all for me! My family thinks I'm too thin, but I don't care. I'm where "I" want to be, and that's all that matters.

Well guys, my last girlfriend was 18 years older than me. We broke up 2 years ago and got together I was 25 and she 42, nearly 43. I met her when she came to my dept to do her phD (and she sure did! - sorry. obvious joke that I had to go for!) I'm older for my age, so I'm told, and we had become good friends before getting together.

We had been friends a couple of months before I actually asked her how old she was because I realised I didn;t know. I COULD NOT believe it when she said 42. She looked 30-32 at the oldest! No-one else in our circle of friends could believe it either. That's what yoga and a good diet will do for you I guess...

Oh, and it was the best sex I'e ever had! So far of course...

Sidenote: For an older woman you just can;'beat Michelle Pfeiffer. Oh Hell Yeah! That red dress, on the piano, singing Making Whoopee... She still looks great.

I'm 19 and the exact opposite-- I haven't dated anyone under 30 in 3 years. I've gone as old as 52 and right now, I'm involved with a 39-year-old. I have tried dating people my own age and it just feels so wrong for me, so unnatural... I really have to force it, when all my relationships with older men have not just been "easy," but successful. One lasted over a year. So hey! It changes for everyone, and I fully support Dave's decision.

Trying so hard to refrain from comment, but I'm so weak in that area!:lol:

I truly believe, that age is a state of mind. If you've got 3 kids, and a bitch of a spouse(not being gender specific on "bitch"), time is going to take it's toll. If you "believe", in being young, and "live" young, I believe, you will stay young. I'm 19, forever. Your mileage may vary.:lol: A 20yo is texting me, right now, to which, I am not responding...... I just got off of work, and drinking some wine, so I'm not driving back to town!

And yes, sex is better than ever. At 18, it's REALLY exciting, but you don't know "what" to do, to put it over the top. At 40, it's still really exciting(minus the anxiety!!!!), but you know how to get everything you want, out of it!

Let's hear it for Dani!
40+ is still cool.

While I am told that I look young for someone of my advanced age, I would never ever want to be with a much younger man. I think the pressure would just be too much for me. Fortunately I am happily married and won't need to worry about it. I don't have a problem with age differences, but did I ever tell you guys about the client I had? She was 18 and her boyfriend was.......................................................................................wait for it...............................................72. And he was her "best friend's" grandfather.

I am not one to judge, but it really does depend on the situation. This was a really unhealthy situation (I wish I could tell details because it was just so bizarre) and the age gap was not a good thing.

This is an interesting topic.

I have usually dated older guys, mostly because I found the ones my age too immature. Although now that I am 30, that is becoming less of a problem. I wouldn't have a problem dating someone a year or two younger, but I can't picture myself with someone significantly younger, ever.

The problems I see with big age differences (15-20 years or more) are long-term. At 30, say I wanted to start a family, but my (hypothetical) 55 year-old husband/boyfriend/whatever already raised children from a first marriage (cause at that age, it's highly likely) and wanted no part of chasing a youngster around at 60. :shrug:

And I had to watch my aunt play nursemaid at 50 to her dying husband, who was near 70. He treated her so horribly (and he was very sick, so his behavior in part was attributed to that). Then she was a widow at 51 or 52.... now she's back in the dating world, trying it all again.

It does come down to individuality, I think. I know some "old" twenty-somethings, and some "young" forty-somethings.

Not what I meant dude.

THAT'S what I meant - thank you! :wavey:

You making fat comments about Sweet Connie & Valeris Bertinelli are what started this whole conversation, but now you don't mind a few extra pounds on a woman? :laugh:


I'm sure many 40 year old women feel the same way. :wavey:

Um, ADVANCED AGE?

And yeah, if it makes you feel any better....... I'd only go past 55 for Lindsay :xoxo:

Rule #1 at The Ledge???
LindsEy!!!!!!!!!!!!!;)

I don't remember calling Sweet Connie fat. I DO think she's UGLY, however. And the Valerie comment was mainly, because we JOKED that Eddie VH was a chubby chaser(okay, the Connie pic with him, was how we got to the joke of him being a chubby chaser). And it was just a joke. Please.lighten.up,and.have.a.sense.of.humor,because.life's.too.short,to.be.so.serious.

And for a long time, Valerie had more than A FEW EXTRA POUNDS on her. FIFTEEN, is a few extra pounds. Fifty, is MORE than a few.

Now, why would I want a 40yo, when I can have two 20's?:laugh::]:laugh::]:laugh::]

When my cousin was in her mid 20's, she got with a man in his early 60's. They finally broke up, and she moved back home(1000 miles). Well, a few months later, he followed....he moved here, and they got back together, for a few years. It took the family awhile to warm up to him(especially the women, who saw him as a cradle robber), BUT, after a year or two, he became a member of the family. They split up, a few years later(long story short-she had become a TERRIBLE alcoholic, she left him, turned lesbian, got sober, and has been, ever since), BUT, by then, he had become a complete member of our family. We invited him to every get-together, and he even attended our family reunions. He was a great guy, and just became one of us. And stayed one of us, until his death.

Moral? It took the family a while, but they finally realized, that age meant nothing. He was a wonderful person, and we grew to love him. The "number", no longer mattered.

So, since you've been 15, you haven't dated anyone under 30? I'm sorry. Call me a prude, but I just have a problem with that. At 15 and 16, you're still just a baby. I know people mature at different paces, but still. What 30 year old wants to date a 15 or 16 year old? Unless, of course, they don't know the truth. If they do know the truth, they have problems. I am of the opinion that an age difference matters less as you get older, but it can still be a hinderance. Until the youngest person is out of college (assuming they go to college straight from high school), a large age gap makes a huge difference. You are at two completely different places in your lives.

Even now. You're 18 - almost 19. You're a freshman in college going to frat parties and experimenting with foreskin. A 39 year old is, more than likely, settled into a career, owning a first or second home and either has a family or is ready to start one.

I'm not saying you can't get along and have fun together. Just that, in the long run, it usually doesn't work out. Take the example above. When you're ready to retire, travel and have fun, you're going to have to change your spouses diapers. Or, when you're ready to start a family, he's ready to retire.

I had a friend who was 27 when she started dating a 45 year old friend of mine. He was a young 45 for sure, but the age difference was just always there.

To each his own, but at some points in time, the age difference does become a defining point of the relationship.

Hmmm... let's just say it begins with a "p" and rhymes with "bibliophile."

I'm creeped out.:eek:

Anyway....When I did date. I dated younger. up to 3 years younger. My Wife is just a year younger.


And I did not date that much anyway.

Mick

But if it works for her, it's okay, right?
People DO mature at much different rates. The 20yo that was texting me last night, may as well be 30. Same for my best friend, who's 22. They may as well be 30, because that's how they act. No drama. No teenage bullsh*t. Nice adult behavior.
However, my 23yo, while brilliant(grad student, teaching university level chemistry classes), is extremely immature, socially. And I will admit, that it sometimes feels a little awkward, in social situations. BUT, we both care for each other, and the passion is off the charts(I don't mean sex), so we're just talking it day by day. And that's the point I had to get across. Whether we last 2 days, or 2 months, or 20 years, it is, what it is. It's only good, as long as it's good for both of us.