Facebook: The Pros and the Cons
 

Having just been persuaded (or rather forced practically at gunpoint) to join Facebook, I wonder what all of you think of its actual uses. What are the pros & cons? One of the pros I can understand is that it allows you to maintain at least a semblance of communication with a large circle of friends, without having to actually write to them.

But the cons? What of them? Don't viruses periodically infect all Facebook accounts? What about other security problems?

And what about psychological dependence? I'd rather be hooked on the Ledge, where we write actual sentences & carry on discussions, than on Facebook, where everything is a string of pokes & bleeps.

Ugh, major con... fake profiles. I got a series of emails off 'Stevie' Stupid man didn't realise I could see his real name on his email address.

Ahaha Georgie I told you it wasn't really her, I just couldn't imagine Stevie sitting on Facebook all day playing Hot Chips poker or whatever that was called! :lol:

Texas Hold 'Em. I had my doubts but after finding Debbie Harry I thought I'd be optimistic :shrug: I just wish he'd stop sending me those 'rare' demos.

A con is the various notifications from junk that inundates your account until you learn all the ways to hide them. People play all kinds of games, and if they are your friends you see the results of their games- it gets kind of annoying. You can hide them so you don't see them.
A pro is re-connecting with people you haven't had communication with in years, though this can be a con too (a lot of times, people drift apart for good reason, lol)

I thought it was fascinating communicating to people who were in grade school with me, and who I had lost contact with. Seeing their photos is a blast too.

David, I avoided FB for the longest time, even though Michellebunchofnumbersaftername kept after me to join. My real fear was - all of my high school friends FINDING me. I really didn't want to BE found, to tell you the truth. I mean, I just didn't want to go back, if you know what I mean. Well, I added one friend from high school, three days ago, and the f*cking thing has snowballed! God, like 20 of them have found me now. So far, I guess it's okay, but the constant messages to me, is getting on my hermit nerves!:lol: As are the CONSTANT email notifications, that "someone has commented on someone else's picture". I mean, who gives a f*ck about that? I'm in the process of disabling the email notifications!

Pro: Being able to update everyone all at once about what's new with you, sharing photos without having to email 10 people & attach them, etc.

Con: People only updating their own page & not bothering to look at anyone's else's. :shrug: I'm no attention seeker, but an occasional "how are you?" or comment on a pic would be nice so I know people give a ****. I certainly try to do the same for them, because I'm actually interested in what's going on in their life. What's the point of getting back in/staying in touch if you're not going to communicate at all? Goes both ways.


Pro: Getting really quick updates on news - I usually hear about breaking news there first, esp. if I'm on a break @ work & check it quick. I became a fan of my favorite local news & I feel very well informed. :)

Con: All that stupid"lick my lolipop" and "hey, i just hit you with a pillow" and "I got a new cow." I don't have time for that ****.


Pro:Getting back in touch with friends you haven't seen or heard from in years.

Con:Getting back in touch with friends you haven't seen or heard from in years. :p Like Homie said, sometimes there's a reason you don't talk to those people anymore.

I will ignore anyone who:
a) I don't remember
b) I didn't like way back when
c) I realize is now an ignorant douchebag (ie-racist, homophobe, preachy, etc.) and probably always was.

I don't get why people "friend" anyone & everyone they've ever had any contact with. :confused: What's the point? To get the most "friends?" Who cares? I've ignored several ledgies too - no offense, but if I don't truly know you (like, we haven't met & hung out or at least conversed in detail apart from this board) then forget it. :sorry:

Wow! LOL This is EXACTLY how I feel!

The high school thing is SO true. One finds you, and then they all find you. Somebody added me from middle school, and I barely remembered her. Then, she starts talking to me on chat and asks, "So, what have you been doing since middle school?" :lol:

well being 14, i guess i shouldn't be one to comment, but i will!

my parents were very hesitant about me joining facebook because "all my friends were doing it"

so they let me, and i blew it. Big time. I had been cursing and posting pics and stuff, and i realized that when i get looked over for college apps and applying for a job, they have access to that stuff and i don't want them looking at it, so i discontinued the account. I have also found my life less stressful, knowing that i don't have to go home to a bunch of notifications and s*** to deal with.

and the obvious one: ANYBODY CAN PRETEND TO BE ANYBODY ON THE INTERNET! ITS ALL ANONYMOUS! So somebody who you think is an old friend may be some creeper who wants to kill you...just sayin...but this mostly pertains to younger kids, so nevermind

With the new updates you can block all of the Farmville and other crap updates that you dont want to see! Click on "hide" next to the post and then click on "hide (insert application name)" and then you wont see them anymore from anyone.



-Mike

Valid points for all youngsters starting out.... Too bad those girls gone wild chicks didn't know about these sorts of investigations

A "pro" for me is that I can make all of my information private so that if clients want to find me, they can't see anything. Honestly, I have really enjoyed Facebook. I have loved finding and reconnecting with some really old friends.

I have all of the Mafia Wars, Farmville, pillow fights, buy me a drink-pokey **** hidden, so that doesn't bother me. What does bother me is when someone adds me as a friend and then doesn't even say hello. What's up with that?

David, where are you on FB? Let's be friends!

Yep, be warned about the high school thing....once one of them finds you, they come out in droves!
I'm kind of glad to reconnect with some of them, but not all of them!:D

Yeah sure there are pros and cons to facebook, and personally other than keeping in touch with a couple of people I don't really care about most of it.

On an interesting and slightly scary note though, my wife's sister (who is 13) just joined facebook and after adding her as a friend I was looking at the pages of a couple of her other friends (we know some better than others). One young 13 year old girl had posted a photograph of herself in her underwear. Thankfully for her I don't know her parents or I might be making a phone call to them!

I love facebook, though I was extremely reluctant to join. I thought it was totally stupid. To avoid high school and college friends I have no interest in, I just put in a fake age (I think it says I am 70, or something) and my dog is my profile picture.

I like that fact that I can keep contact with friends I care about but dont talk to all that often, and know what is going on with them and how they're doing. Its turned aquaintances into better friends and it got me a nearly new free camera when I commented that I was in the market for a new one and a friend sent me one he just purchased but didnt really like!

I hid all the stupid crap and deleted some fools I made the mistake of friending. I'm glad I joined.

Pro--I thought I was too old to FB but I love it! It's been helpful since we moved from London to the US--fun to see/share baby pics, updates with friends, former colleagues, etc without having to write or feel guilty for not writing. I like that my younger family members / children of friends have 'friended' me. As Jannie wrote, I like that I can keep information private.

Cons-can get out of control / easy to hit friend overload. There is some pressure to 'accept a friend request' even when you'd rather not bother to do so (some people are very sensitive to rejection and will resend the friend request). Lots of extraneous detail, although as written above it's possible to block mafia, farmville, etc updates. I block all that and keep a smallish group of friends so that I can keep up. I don't know how people juggle 1000 friends and all the updates.

We had an office firing recently--a professional individual had a bad day at work, vented publicly on FB, and violated a confidentiality clause. I am shocked at what some will post...

All-in-all I would reco FB--it's good fun once you get the privacy and hide settings adjusted.

Yes, I agree. I feel like I have to add everyone who asks. This guy, who I always considered a bully, asked me for an add yesterday. I reluctantly added him.

You know, I parted ways with many of these people, intentionally. Now I feel like I'm forced to communicate with them.:distress:

I am too addicted to Facebook.

But a Pro to facebook is that I am able to keep in contact with old friends and new friends, and find friends and family that I don't see very often and have a way to communicate with them other than the phone.

A con is that it's a procrastnation tool for me not to do my homework. I literally spend too much time on the freakin' site.

I'm open to friending all ledgies though :nod:

This is interesting to me because I love how I can be all passive and not respond to a friend request. I don't have to blatantly be dismissive or mean.

I was fortunate to have been able to enjoy my high school years, socially. I am a very nostalgic person by nature, so I'm cool with getting (briefly) in touch with pretty much anyone from my past.

Agree with everything everyone has said so far. I've come to the realization that FB is what you make of it. If you want to befriend everyone on the planet because you saw the same cloud in the sky on such and such day then that's your business. If you want to be private and just have your immediate and close circle of people on there, then that's fine too. I am of the latter pursuasion. However, there have been a few people that have slipped through the cracks over the past year that I should delete. But I feel bad and probably will leave them on there.

Here's a little gem of an awkward situation I found myself in very recently...

You meet someone on online personals. You exchange several emails and a few phone conversations. In one of the emails you are asked if you have FB. You figure, "oh no, this person is one of those that just friend requests random people." You don't address it because if you say yes then you may get a friend request and you feel it's kind of too soon to be a "friend" on there. No matter. Nothing gets brought up about it after. No harm done.

Several weeks after you go on first date. Everything's great on both ends. The next day, you get an actual friend request. You don't do anything because it's still too soon. You don't mention it because you're still mulling it over and think it's no big deal if you do or don't become "friends" on FB. You haven't communicated a whole lot since the date (maybe a week) because of busy schedules. You then notice friend request has been pulled after sitting idle for one week. You kind of feel bad because maybe you should've accepted and now they're offended that you didn't.

So you friend request them back. You realize you are trying to backpedal lol. It gets ignored (deleted) a day or two after. Now you realize the deep water you're in. You send email asking why ignore friend request after having a good time together and all that good stuff. Reply states that FB is personal info etc etc and they did have a good time with you and you're a great person etc etc.

Ok, now you are really confused. You think, didn't this person 1. ask you if you had FB first? and 2. friend request you first? You send follow up email stating those very facts and also your reasons for not accepting thei initial friend request. You make sure email is nice and tactful so other party cannot assign a "tone" :) You also make sure you are not accusing and blame it on some automated friend finder that is enabled on their end possibly. You have reread email many many times and believe it is a nice email.

And the days go by. Three to be exact. You are still awaiting reply. You don't want to assume anything because you know what happens blah blah blah. But you believe this is pretty much done and things weren't meant to be.

Thank you Facebook.

Thoughts, Comments, Concerns, Questions? Would anyone care for a mint?

Some of those folks on there, I've noticed, have racked up 200 or more friends. What's that? A contest?

When you delete a friend on FB, does that person know? Is there some sort of message sent automatically?

Why not just accept friend requests from people you don't particularly like, & then if two or three weeks go by & you don't hear anything direct or personal from that "friend," go ahead & delete. If you're ever asked about it, your reply is, "When I didn't hear anything, I figured you either deleted or changed your account."

I was bullied into joining because all of my friends abandoned MySpace (which I was also bullied into joining). I mostly just use Facebook to play games and keep in touch with non-FM people, since I keep in contact with most of my Mac fan friends on the various boards.

I do kind of feel bad for my friends who don't play the games, since I'm sure their live feed is flooded with posts about people leveling up and stuff like lost critters that have wandered onto people's virtual farms.

the amazing thing I've found David, is that while in high school I could count probably half a dozen friends at the very most. 2o years later, I have about 50 FB friends who were in my graduating class. I wonder what makes me so friend-worthy now, and so icky then.

Actually there is one thing that really annoys me about facebook, when people send you random friend requests and you have no idea who they are. I run a couple of groups on facebook so sometimes people will send me a friend request but it really wouldn't hurt for them to say "Hey just joined the Rick Vito group and thought I'd add you as a friend" etc.

Same thing goes for Ledgies too, it doesn't hurt to say "Hey its XYZ from the Ledge". Otherwise I have to backtrack and find out what friends we have in common, etc.

Oh well that is my little rant...

That's precisely why I don't want anything to do with Facebook. My husband signed up and has a ton of high school friends now wanting to 'friend' him. He's okay with that, but I wouldn't be. Like you, I want to leave those years way behind. I had a lot of people in school treat me like dirt and I don't need that in my life. I'm okay with who I am and I don't need others telling me that I'm not what they think I should be.

I think it is a bit of a popularity contest. I've friends who have hit the 1000 mark as the seem to friend everyone they meet. I've no idea how they can even begin to process so many updates.

I've got around 150 friends and that seems about perfect as half rarely post, another quarter post only once a month, and so the amount of 'regulars' is reasonable. I also limit the number of groups I join so that those updates are not overwhelming and I can focus on what's important to me (for example our city posts local updates, our local farmers market posts their weather related cancellations, etc).

I think the misnomer is the word "friend." For me, a friend is what you would consider a real life friend. "Friend" is old school now. Friend to me means you get together every so often or chat on the phone here and there etc. They know things about your personal life.

So, I tend to look at some of my friends on there as business contacts or mere acquaintances. I have refrained from posting updates or getting too in depth about anything personal in my life because I've let people in from all walks of life. There are certain things that I only feel comfortable sharing with my true circle of people and not with a former coworker that I spoke to on occasion about the weather.

^ thats a good idea!
There is no message/notification sent that you deleted them.
There also isn't a notification that you ignored their friend request.

As for the " a lot of friends" thing... I know I have a lot of people that I dont really talk to anymore b/c I think a lot of college age students meet a lot of different people that they meet in different classes/ work on projects with, etc and then they wont see them anymore after that semester is over, but still are friendly with when they see them on campus/at the local bar/ what have you... and it used to be kinda taboo to "de-friend" anyone... Facebook started when I was a freshman and it was exclusive to only college students and then it opened up to High Schools and then EVERYONE, but anyway, when it first came out it was a real fad and everyone was "friending" everyone! I think if I were to have just gotten Facebook there is NO way I would have nearly as many "friends" on there but nobody from my "facebook generation" really "de-friends" anyone

But why would you want them as "friends" now? Even if it's for a superficial website?

ITA.

So true.

Ha yeah, 'rare' and you already had it. :laugh:

Woo-hoo Debbie! & it only took us 6 months for her to accept us :D

The only thing that comes to mind that really irritates me about Facebook is random people adding me, like nobody I've ever come across in my life. I don't really add just anyone anymore unless we have more than a few friends in common, or if it's someone off forums that I post on. :cool:

I'm not Facebook crazy - I've had a profile for about a year, and honestly forget to check it most of the time. Definitely do not care about anyone's new cows, Mafia Wars whatever,

New con discovered last night, though - logged on to respond to a funny thing from my sister's boyfriend, and my ex's mother instant messaged me to see how I'm doing or whatever. She's a very nice lady and I like her, but that's still awkward. I had NO idea what to say. :laugh:

They love you :cool:

Agreed. Completely. I checked how many friends I had after reading this thread, and it's something near 500. Do I consider even an eighth of those people actual friends? Of course not. Facebook is a great way to network, though. I've found out about different courses and professors by posting on the walls of people I've had previous classes with, and I routinely figure out what I'm doing over the weekend through invitations to parties that come through facebook friends who added me after we met somewhere the weekend before.

Yeah tell me about it, GWAHHHHHH :eek:

I absolutely love FB. I have around 100 friends. See, the cool thing about my friends and the people I went to high school with is that we all grew up together. We've known eachother since grade school, graduated HS, and we've all kept in pretty close contact over the years. Hardly any of us "lifers" moved away. We all have a local bar that we go to on the weekends. I know any given weekend, I can walk into Scotty's, and hang out with at least 10 people I went to HS with. Our parents know all of us, and they still live in the same houses they lived in when we were in school. So, posting off the wall crap on my FB doesn't scare me at all. And then there's my kids, my friends' kids, and my kids' friends. I have the people I love on The Ledge there, and that's about it. I won't add coworkers or anyone I don't know. I have a request sitting there now, and I know I know her from HS, but I can't quite figure out who she is. So, I'm not adding her... now it's just me being nosey trying to figure out who she is.

I love FB too. Sure, there are some people on there I don't know well— people from an online singing network on mine— but there are also old friend from HS, from a scene I was in in the 80's in SF, and also old coworkers. I really like seeing the old photos people held onto, and the new photos of their lives and families. Also, my network of friends tend to post really interesting news items and articles. I have to say that I appreciate the way I can dip in to check FB and not spend too much time on it. I guess that might also be a symptom of what is wrong with it too: it can give one the illusion of connection.