Your families
 

What is the make up of your family? What you consider your immediate family? What people constitute the family you spent the most time with? Feel free to post pics.

I was just tripping out again on someone's fam. Or everyone's. I'm always amazed at how big everyone's fam is. In my fam, for 15 years, it was just me as the kid, and then some adults (on my mom's side, which is the only one we ever visited on holidays). It was me, my nonna (grandma), her sister my great aunt, my uncle and possibly his girlfriend, my aunt, and that was basically it until I was 15 and my mom's 2 siblings finally had some kids. And, I won't even ever have nieces and nephews since I am an only child. Just cousins. Who are all 15 years younger than me.
Other people have these voluminous families that they can't even keep track of.
Cousins, nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, blah blah forever. So many family members I can't even imagine. I've known people who have "discovered" they have family members they didn't know about before. Sure, that is Oakland, and lots of people are related, but it trips me out. I never had so many relatives! :shocked:

I practically was my family for 15 years. At least I was the reason they gathered together. It was so small, and so lovely, all the holidays. Random adults, plus me, the focal point, the one that the family members actually liked (because everyone likes a kid). I've just come to learn that most families are bigger, expotentially. I wonder how that works.
My dad's fam was more expotential, but I didn't ever really get to know them.

It is hard for me to fathom families where you don't know some of them, and you only meet them once a year when you all get together for the reunion.

I always thought family was so insular and easy to comprehend, because mine was. It was me, and a handful of adults gathered to make holiday things special for me, while they visit with each other, even though lots of them didn't actually like each other. But they all thought food and holidays were important, and they still wanted to see the family members they had grudges against. Or, if they didn't, they would do it anyway, for me. And it would be fun and cool. Like, real holiday style. There would be a big production, with the meal and the visit. My grandma was serious about the meals for the holidays, like any good Italian grandma would be. It was all epic. Epic and delicious and ceremonial.
And why shouldn't it be, if only 8 or so people are in attendance.

Which is my point - tell me about your families, and their size, and their traditions, etc.
These are the favorite memories of my family, where we got together to eat for holidays. It was truly magical. We put out all the stops. Plus, we were all supposed to be Catholic, and we were all Italian, so any Jesus occasion was our forte. Food and God, I tells you what. lol.

But my truth isn't the truth of everyone. Everyone else has bigger families and different traditions.


But how is it for the bigger fams? When it isn't self contained? When there are cousins for miles?
It boggles my tiny mind.
In the way that I want everyone to share their stories and possibly post pics.

I'm just saying this all because I think that if I feel so strongly about my weird family holiday things, others will have just as great holiday traditions and possibly recipes to share.
Holiday traditions are the unsung gold of human experience. For reals.

Like, I can't fricking wait to hear the weird dishes my non Italian cousins from the south bring to light. (yeah, I'm talking about you, Jaz & Michelle).

And just in general what constitutes "family" to others.

Food and holidays and its rituals are important, don't make me come over there!!!
Peace and snacks out -
I could edit, but Night Moves just came on the radio. Can't miss that singing opp.

I am in a similar situation. Growing up, it was always just my parents, brother, sister, and me. Both of my parents were only children, so I have never had any aunts, uncles, or cousins. All of my grandparents were dead by the time I was nine. My father died when I was 17.

As a teenager, I dated a boy for about five years. He was Polish and had a HUGE family. Holiday gatherings were so foreign to me. While I sort of enjoyed them, they overwhelmed me. SO many people; kids running around, people laughing and yelling- I always needed a nap when it was over.

I've been with my husband for 12 years, and his family has kind of become mine now. Christmas is a big deal in this family- lots of food and lots of presents (which at first was weird for me, but I've grown used to it over time).

I don't have much more to share and since you wanted to hear from folks with big families, I'll let others chime in now. :)

I don't speak to any of my relatives, currently; mostly because my mother is a very toxic person and I finally realized that a functional relationship with her was just not possible. Anyway.

My mother has a large extended family, though they're all starting to die off now; her mother is one of 6 children (only 3 are still living) and we usually saw them at Xmas and a few other times during the year, but otherwise were not especially close. My mother has one sister who is (what's the PC term?) mentally challenged. And my dad has one brother who didn't have kids until he was in his 40s, so growing up, I didn't have any first cousins, or really any relatives besides my younger brother who were close to my age.

My dad's parents (who are well into their 80s now) are the only relatives I can say I really like. My mom's parents (her dad passed away several years ago) were both big-time alcoholics, and as a result of that, I wound up not having too much respect for my grandmother or my mother for leaving us kids in her care.

Older brother is an ultra-conservative Southern Baptist minister, which as you can imagine interacts wonderfully with my homosexuality. :rolleyes: The last few times I've seen him, you could've cut the tension with a knife. Finally, I just decided I didn't need the stress anymore. Younger brother is just a weed-head and a layabout.

Last year when my mother called and left a nasty message on my work voicemail, I officially disowned her. But that had been about 15 years in the making. I'm happy that others have functional relationships with their families, but mine has been nothing short of toxic.

I am an only child also. My mothers side of the family always lived in the south, so holidays were spent with my dad's side, meaning, my grandparents, an aunt, uncle and collectively 4 cousins. Then my moms family moved up here when I was 18. I don't really get along with them too much except for my grandfather and his second wife. Anyhow, my dads parents passed and I don't talk to my aunt and uncle on that side, and my moms parents passed, and I really don't talk to anyone on that side except my moms little brother, and my step grandmother. So, now, my family ultimately consists of my girls, my parents, and an uncle and step grandmother. That's all I'll claim anyway.

Let's see. I've stopped talking to my mother -and her family- a long time ago. In fact, I don't even consider her, or them, my family. I hardly even know them. She had two kids after us, so I do have two little brothers, who I adore immensely. They're the only reason I ever drive up there.

Then there's my non-biological mom, who I've always considered my real mom. She passed away two years ago. She had a daughter, we all grew up together, I consider her my little sister.

I am very close to my real sister. She and I even share an apartment. Very close to my dad also.

My dad comes from a big family. I only see my grandmother now and then, for bingo nights. I'd have to say that 80% of his family I've never even met. I have 9 aunts and uncles from his side, and at least 50 cousins, if not more, but I know maybe 2 or 3. I used to be very close to one of my aunts, she lived down the street, but she moved to Belgium a few years ago, and since then we've barely had contact.

I recently joined a Dutch website, equivalent to MySpace, and I keep getting all these messages from people over the country saying 'hey, we're family! how are you?' I never respond.

In short: I only really consider my two sisters, my two brothers and my dad family. My dad's best friend, who he's known for 45 years, and two of his other friends are all people that stepped in when my mother left and helped my dad out when we were little. I consider them family also.

Family isn't just people that are related to you by blood. No way.

I agree with this. All of my "aunts" and "uncles" were close friends of my parent's.

My oldest daughter isn't my daughter, but my biological daughters half sister. I consider my oldest my own.

My family is really small. I'm an only child and have 1 cousin who is 9 years older than me and who i never ever see.
Both my parents are still alive and i see them every couple of weeks. They were never particularly close to the rest of the (small) family, except my mom who adored her father (he passed away in 1984). All my grandparents have died and apart from my mother and father, and my cousin, i have one aunt left who is my fathers' sister , but whom i also never see.
My husband comes from a large family of 5 kids, but some of them are not on speaking terms. I had always wanted an older brother or sister to hang out with, but when i see how my in-laws get along sometimes :eek: i guess i'm better off with a few really good friends:)
some pics:
my dad
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...n/P1010058.jpg

my mom
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...n/P1010057.jpg

my best friend and me before going to a costume party:
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...moesen/101.jpg

with my lifelong friends whom i've known for 40 years (omg!)
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...ari2007001.jpg

Just an excuse to show off my girls... I love them so!

http://i18.tinypic.com/6ly8cnm.jpg

Sara your girls are wonderful :D

For me:
Huge fam that I rarely see anymore since moving to US, maybe once a year or so my aunts and uncles, rarely cousins anymore. Here a pic from when we were in Holland this August/sept, my parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary bash, this is all my fam.:

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c1...e/478B0222.jpg

Avi's fam is tiny since not much survived the Holocaust (Russian and German jews)
He has 2 cousins maybe, and one aunt and uncle.
a sister he is close to and a brother, not so much.

Holee Sh*t- I need a nap after just looking at that! Wow, what it is like to have that much family? Are the periodic gatherings fun?

Thank you!

You are blessed. My family is so small; if I had a family that size, everyone would need to wear a name tag.... hello, my name is ______. :laugh:

Your daughters are gorgeous !

Nou moe ! I started counting them but lost count twice :laugh:

My family, On both of my parents sides, is quite large. My Dad's family consisted of 6 boys and 4 girls (All of my aunts are living and excluding my Dad and an Uncle all the males are living - I wished I had a working scanner to add their family for y'all to see - Typical Irish/Cherokee family) whereas Mom's family was small 2 girls and 1 boy. I have so many frikkin' cousins I have lost count (About 40-45) some even whom I do not know...

I have 2 older brothers (One full blood and one half-brother) and 4 older half-sisters (Two by Dad, Of one who had passed away back in 1989 and 2 by Mom) so I am the youngest. I have 2 nieces and 5 nephews and coming someday soon I will have a daughter (Via my lady Christy) who is a very intelligent 10 year old.

Lost both my Grand-fathers in 1977 (Along with my Dad), My Grandmothers in 1994 & 1998 and my Mom in March 2005 (As most of y'all know from the thread I started)

Thank you so much!
I counted 70...

My Mom and Dad celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this past summer and we had a huge family celebration at my parents summer home in Colorado.
I am extremely close to my parents -- they are such wonderful, sweet people and I adore them to no end. I live about 10 minutes away from them.
I am the oldest of three children. Both of my siblings are married. My brother lives about 7 minutes away from me and has has two daughters who I am very close to. My sister has two daughters and a son. They live about 4 hours away so we don't see them as often as we'd like.
My Mom was an only child so there are nothing but cousins are her side. My Dad is from Boston and had 2 brothers and 2 sisters. I'm pretty tight with one of my aunts and her daughter (my favorite cousin). I try to see them every summer in Cape Cod and we talk on the phone all of the time.
Family is very important to me.

The picture attached was taken last fall at my family's ranch.

rbs

meh.

I would consider my "immediate" family to be my mom, dad, and older sister. Well, now I guess I count my brother-in-law as well.

I have one aunt on my mom's side... they are super close, so as a rule, we're close as well I suppose. My aunt has 2 daughters and my mom has 2 daughters, and growing up it was kind of like 4 sisters, because we'd always be at my grandmother's house. My aunt's oldest daughter is the oldest of all of us, and I am the youngest... the total distance of age is 10 years. My sister is next (she's 8 years older), then my other cousin (6 years older), then me. They always picked on me like ****ing hell... it's probably the primary reason I am so feisty. It only took me a few years to learn how to fight back. Other than my step-uncle's family members, this is it for this side of the family pretty much. Since my grandparents passed away, we never see their siblings and families anymore.. and truth be told, I don't like going to family gatherings and talking to everyone anyway. It's embarassing when they start talking about me when I was little. And when all the memories start coming back up, I start getting picked on again. I can't tell you how many holidays have been ruined for me because they think it's just so goddamn funny to pester me to death. I love my family because they're my family, but I honestly don't feel close to anyone.

My dad's side of the family is ridiculously dysfunctional. My abusive, alcoholic grandfather died before I was born. My grandmother remarried when I was quite small, but apparently that guy was an asshole, too. He got alzheimers, was in the nursing home for a long while, and died when I was probably like.. 8 or so. When he went in the nursing home, my great aunt moved in to live with my grandmother there... so to me, I've always had a granny and a Frances on that side. As far as aunts and uncles go... my dad's oldest brother died in a bridge collapse back in the early 70s. His middle brother is married and has 2 children, a boy and a girl. His son and my sister are the same age and were close growing up.. his daughter is, i really don't know how old she is to be honest. 3 years or 4 years older maybe. Again, I'm the youngest. When one of my great aunts passed away, my dad totally just sat back and let my uncle **** us out of a boatload of inheritance money.. for the sake of not disrupting the family. It didn't really work. We don't see or talk to each other anymore. It's all just too weird. And to be really honest, despite the fact that they live literally 5 minutes away, I probably see my granny and Frances like, 4 times a year. Maybe. I've flaked out of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter for the last 4 years now. It just makes me feel like a wanker and a liar to go over there for holiday stuff.. especially if my aunt and uncle are there. Every year, we always said, let's not exchange gifts, and then did anyway. No, it shouldn't be about the gifts... but my aunt shouldn't really give my sister and I the ****ing Elizabeth Arden or Estee Lauder holiday gift set that you get when you buy someone else's present like.. 6, 7 years in a row. Gee, thanks.. this is great. I can't even ****ing take it back. Eyeroll.

It's nice to see that people enjoy their families. My parents are great. My sister and brother-in-law are great (when my sister and I aren't at each other's throats because we have clashing personalities), but they don't live close at all. My aunt is great, but she's in a different town and always busy. I hardly ever see my "sister cousins" anymore. And the oldest one is a total wingnut loon anyway now... you can't really have a conversation with her at all, she's just totally off her rocker. So yeah. I can't wait to eat turkey and stuffing, but I ****ing dread the holidays like crazy burning hell every year. I always volunteer to work so that I have an excuse to drive separately.. so I can leave early.

Being around everyone is just sensory overload, and it kicks my anxiety problems into double high gear. And with the whole family being southern Baptist... yeah. I kind of just sit there, act like I'm listening, and try to cover up the fact that I am trembling and shuddering with nervousness and anxiety. Blah. But I will say it again that my parents are really great. We've had our clashes and aren't very, very close.. but I'm not a warm person anyway. I always wish that I was.. but I just can't bring myself to hug or say I love you. I don't really know why.

Wow! Your parents & my parents both celebrated their 50th this past summer (my parents in June). They got married in 1957. They were still living in St. Louis, where they were both born & reared. They moved to California in 1964.

My moms side of the family (her moms side) were all southern baptists also. That's why my grandmother and I never got along, because I'm tattood and pierced, and had a child out of wedlock. When my husband passed, she came, was pissed off because I didn't bury him in a suit and tie, and had a closed casket, and left the day before the actual funeral. That was it for me. The only reason I had contact with them after that was for my mothers sake. She even went so far as to tell the rest of the family (down south) not to send flowers... I didn't need them.

Sarah, there's nothing wrong with being distant with your family. If you don't get along with them, you just don't.

Beautiful picture. That's amazing how well you all get along. I'm happy for you.

I'm not close to anyone outside of my immediate family (brother, sister, mother, father). If I'm close to anyone else, it'd be my Dad's father...and my mother's 2 sisters. Thats pretty much it. I dont know more than half of my family members. The majority of them, I've never met.

My friends are really my family.

I used to feel that way about myself for a long time too, untill i met my husband. Him i could hug and tell him i loved him.
I don't think i've ever told my parents that i loved them. The past couple of years i've tried hugging them and at first they kinda turned to stone when i did, but now the have loosened up a bit, especially my mom.
As a kid, growing up, there never was any hugging going on at our house. Why, i have no idea, but i'm certain that it did influence my behaviour.
What i mean to say Sarah is that, don't say you're not a warm person, cause i think deep inside you are. It just takes the right people to bring that out.
here's a start ::xoxo:

Same here, babe. Nobody in my family really is, but we have a way of showing it without all the mushy, touchy feely crap. Besides, we just know. But it has caused a lot of problems with guys and even friends over the years.

My family is pretty small. There's just me, my parents and my (older) brother. I still live at home, so in terms of proximity I am very close to my parents, but mostly my family just sort of tolerates each other. That's not to say that we don't love each other but we see eye to eye on almost nothing and pretty much all just do our own thing. My brother lives in Washington, so I rarely see him.

As for extended family, there isn't anyone left alive on my mother's side. On my father's side I have three uncles, two aunts (by marriage) and several cousins as well as my grandmother, but I really only ever see them at Christmas (and sometimes not even then).

I'm an only child, and my mother is also. So on her side, the only "immediate" family I have is my grandmother. She lived several hours away when I was growing up, so I only saw her about twice a year. She has since moved back near my parents, but I only go home about twice a year. I don't really feel I know her all that well, but I am grateful for her relatively good health and strong mind.

On my dad's side, both of my grandparents are still living, plus there's two aunts and four cousins. We aren't particularly close, although I love them all and I was closer to them growing up. Our family (my mom, dad and I) are sort of the outsiders. The rest of them all live by each other and are very similar in terms of ideas and thoughts. The dissimilarities between us and them caused some problems over the years, though things stay relatively peaceful now.

thanks for the nice comments guys. you're sweet.

i kind of understand what you mean about turning to stone, suzy. my dad is like that. he's definitely the silent, Marine Corps vet who says a total of about 5 words per day. if we're out and about.. say if we go shopping with mom or something and he and i are standing around waiting for her to just come the hell on alreadyyyy he'll throw his arm around my shoulder or something, but other than that i can't really remember the last time we hugged.

i just feel bad because of my mom though... she's the really sweet, emotional type. i know she wants to be hugged and all that stuff.. i just can't do it. i pick up my little dog to give her a hug, and my mom is like... "everyone likes the dog more than me." :distress: that makes me feel bad.. but a little dog is different, i think. not that a mother isn't unconditional love.. baaahh.. i don't know. i write her cards for her birthday and mother's day to tell her that i love her and i'm sorry that i'm not as sweet.. but i still feel like a bad daughter almost all of the time. (especially since my sister has always been perfect, perfect, perfect. eyerolllllllll.)

So ****ing glad I didn't have siblings.....

My immediate family is very small.
I live with just my mother. and I am an only child [woohoo!!!]
Then again, I do count my cats as family, because I love them so much. :D

I see my dad once [hopefully gonna begin to be twice] a month. He is married, but no other children.

My paternal grandparents have both passed away, I never met my grandmother on that side, but I was pretty close to my grandfather on that side. He passed when I was turning 8, about a month before.]

My maternal grandparents are like my second family. I was wicked close to my grandfather on that side, he was like my father, but he passed away last year. And my grandmother and I have always been really close. We go out to eat with her like 3 times a week.

I have a crap load of extended family, but nothing special there.

My mom and I are like....sisters almost though. Like, shes only my mom when she wants to lecture me about stuff. We're wicked close, and I can talk to her about anything, and we're like best friends. We joke around so much, and I have more fun with her than with my schoolfriends [SHH!! haha].

I would love to post a pic of me and my mom, but I dont have one...well not recent.
Ill get one tonight, I have to show her how to use my camera anyway. haha.

That's absolutely amazing. I'm so happy to hear that. My stepdaughter and I are really close like that.

yeah. I really love my mom.
I think that if all the kids my age had relationships with their parents like I do with my mom, then kids wouldnt be so mean.

I think that the kids who are mean at school are just mean to get attention, because they dont get it at home :(

And there are lots of other things they do to get attention, too, because they're not getting any at home. Trust me, I've seen the difference in someone since she's moved in.

You'll regret all that non-hugging. Its the "stupid" things like that that you remember when they're gone.

Thanks for wrapping it up into a nice little package with a stupid little bow on top for me. Eff off. :rolleyes:

Stupid, eh? Okay.

I don't really have the energy to go way into my family structure, but my immediate family is my mom, dad and younger brother.

Yeah, he has such an eloquent way of putting things....

Its true! Dont be so cold hearted.

If eloquent was a requirement to be on these boards, I dont think any of us would be here (with the exception of ChiliD) HA!

Seriously?

Are you serious?

Save your fairy-tale bull**** for someone who gives a damn about your judgement. I certainly don't. And I don't appreciate you acting like you know me. The offer still stands. **** off. That **** just made me angry.