A Seriously Messed Up Situation With My Friends. Some Advice please......
 

So, I am sure you all remember those two "friends" I talked about a couple of weeks ago. They are, as some of you might know, the guitarist and drummer in my band.

So today I am at lunch, sitting in my usual group, with one of the guys and a bunch of my aquantances. And guess what I found out? He and the other friend went to one of the aquantances houses, and stole a $100 bottle of wine out of the basement..... And DRANK IT!!!!!:eek: I mean honestly, WTF?:mad:

I honestly don't know if I can stand those two anymore, and it puts me in a hard place because they are in my band. But today, I thought of something, and you all tell me what you think.

Also, they have become very critical toward the new singer. She is fine, and if it weren;t for me, we wouldn't have a singer. I am the head hancho of the band, and if I don't do or say something, it never get done. If I don't schedule a rehearsal, nobody else does. So it's like, I am doing all of this work to get things amazing, they're sitting on their butts doing nothing, and complaining about all sorts of crap and being rude. So this is driving me crazy as well. Our songs are amazing, and they have commented to that, but their attitude and rudeness are horrible.

I am thinking about completely re-vamping the lineup of my band with a group of people who actually share my values, morals and principles. And yes, i want to have people that are good players, but I want GOOD people to be around. I have someone in mind for the guitar, don't know about the drums, and I am thinking about adding to my one girl singer. You all remember that girl who I said I kind of sort of liked, the one who my drummer was sort of after (God knows if he still is) and the one who I sometimes talk to online? Well, it's her. :nod:

Here's the kind of hairy part. Our school, at the beginning of October, has this talent music night kind of thing. It's an amazing thing. Last year, since we were the highest scoring act in tryouts, opened the show playing "Don't Stop". Tryouts are in about 2.5 weeks, and I can't re-vamp my band and teach them Carrie (the song we're doing) in that ammount of time, so I am sticking with the icky people for another month or so.

I was wondering if you all had any suggestions on how to, when the time comes, let the guys know that their gig is up...... ALSO what do you think the best way would be to ask the girl. We aren't super friends or anything, but that;s because we don;t know each other extrememly well, but she is very nice, sweet and smart, and she is a pretty good singer, so I know she would do a good job. Should I tell her via internet, or try to track her down in person?

Anyway, all suggestions would be much loved. I am sorry about starting another discussion about this, but you guys, this is so freaking hella crazy, and I was just wanting to seek the advice from some wise folk such as you all. :nod:

Much Love,
Ethan

I don't know about asking them to quit. :shrug:

All this turmoil building up and tensions in the group must create some kick ass lyrics, and if you're as a talented musician as you profess, you should have your own Rumours within a year. So...Keep hating these people...Cranking out music...And you're good to go. :thumbsup:

Yeah, I can see where you are coming from in a way Liam. :nod:

There is an edit that I made though, something very crutial and important that I forgot to say in my original post, so read that too........ It's just a poopy situation.:distress:

omg they DRANK IT?!!!!

people who drink go to HELL!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. wait until after the talent show or whatever it is, then kick them out. make it easy. just say... you guys should go form your own band, cuz you aren't in this one anymore! and walk away.

You don't need our advice, everything will be fine again tomorrow! :wavey:

Ethan, I agree with Liam, you guys will have a hit album with all that drama in no time :thumbsup:
Sorry about thier horrible morals, but hey, I have one girl-friend right now whose all obsesive over vodka, and she doesnt listen to me, just let them make thier own beds and let them lie in it. its the only way those people will learn.

Just dont sweat it, if they are true 'friends' than things will work out, but if not, just wait and see what happens and if you need to just tell them that you want to find people you have more in common with.

About being the responsible one of the group, just go with it, its the same thing with me and my 'friends'

All I can say is if this is your idea of a seriously messed up situation then can I have your life??!!

*snort* Liam, yer a peach! FM redux eh?

God, you guys are no fun. :laugh:

Seriously though. Coming from someone who has been in and around bands for years, you have to be 100% in-control of your band if you wanna kick the bitches to the curb. They're not going to take you seriously if you're a pushover and you don't always call the shots. Sure, you may have gotten the band this new singer, but if you have a guitar player with his head up his ass (it's usually the guitarist, sorry), that's not going to matter. In reality, though, your exiled bandmates are just going to go on and form a better, more successful band, because nine times out of ten, that's the case. Sorry to burst your bubble.

In short, band bull**** is never ever going to be simple, and you really should lighten up a bit. You're what, 16, and you think your friends are bad people because they're drinking wine, which could possibly be more pansy-esque than a mai tai? Come on!

and i thought drummers were the weak links....and when I was 16/17, I was happy as hell to get a bottle of Boone's Farm...it happens :nod:

HAY. I represent that remark! :laugh:

And, can I just add, that if you like your life to be turmoil free... you SHOULD NOT ASPIRE TO BE A PROFESSIONAL (or at least WORKING) musician. Unless you want to do contemporary Christian music (lol, i typo-ed christmas). but who really wants to do that anyway? hello, boring. :wavey:

...then snap up, snap down, snap left, snap right.

Sorry guys. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF SURGE. Is that better? :xoxo:

She's right, though. If you want a drama-free life, just stay out of rock'n'roll. Not really sure if your musical style is very rock'n'roll, but it's the same deal everywhere. Music is the only field where one absolutely cannot remain free of drama. Unless you're playing the recorder or something. And people will probably hate you :laugh:

this made me go "ewww" -

as for your dielymma, I'd just have a little come to haysoos meeting and let them know that this isn't your first rodeo...why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? Why can't you treat me like I would be treated by any stranger on the street?

of course, that last part may be a bit much, idk.

just when i thought i couldn't love you any more ... :laugh: :xoxo:

Don't know about you but he had me at "haysoos". :nod:

we're going to end up fighting over him, aren't we? :D :laugh:

We can share- I'm a lovah not a fighter.

..as is Jeff. :xoxo:

fair enough! :D :xoxo:

To be fair, though, what else would they have done with a bottle of wine? Wait, don't answer that. I'm sure I can find out on Google.

I think you need to stay out of it. It's not your fight. Your bandmates don't have to be your friends, and your friends don't have to be your bandmates. It's nice when they are, but the band is more of a business relationship, not a personal one.

So much of rock is the bad attitude. Listen, I understand where you're coming from, having been there myself. What I've learned, actually just recently, is that you can be the soccer mom "let's organize times" guy, or you could be the boss and let them know up front that they can easily be replaced and that bull**** won't be tolerated. The key there is you need to be confident in yourself to be effective in this role.

Do the gig with "icky people" and the next day or week announce to the school paper that you've kicked these guys out and are looking for new players. Say something like "they're good players, but I don't feel they were the right players for the direction I was wanting to take my music". It makes you look important AND it makes them look like idiots. As for the girl, NO! You are purely plutonic. Otherwise, some jackasses stealing wine will seem pretty minor.

No matter what group of people you get, you're never going to see eye-to-eye on everything. To be in a band, you have to let things slide. It's not always easy. As I said, bands are more of a business relationship. The golden rule is that if it hurts the band, they're out.

Finally, QUIT THINKING SO MUCH and worrying about what other people think! If you're confident in it, if you think your stuff is good, then keep doing it regardless. Never take the attitude that it's an honor for me to perform this for you. Always take the attitude that it's an honor for you that I'm here performing. It may sound cocky/arrogant. Whatever. Anyways, overthinking will totally screw with your performing.

wouldn't be the first time. the last time 2 girls fought over me (and they were sisters), I made them pick a color and whichever one was nearest my favorite color on the color wheel "won" - of course, I was 10 at the time, but idc. :lol:

oh


my god


:lol:

I don't know why that is so funny, but it is :laugh: and cute all at the same time..hahha

i pick red :mad:

:laugh:

blue! blue! blue!

i pick violet.

to go with the blue mornings he's taking with him :mad:

Teal for me :lol:

Band drama never ends. I'm 51 and I'm still dealing with the same "band crap" I did when I was 16. You just have to not be so "thin-skinned" about it. Just focus on the music, let the other stuff go. As someone already posted (Steve?), if it affects the music, then deal with it. If it doesn't, let it go. 95% of the time, it will result in a personnel change...so what? 95% of the time, you'll end up with better players.

Wine? Again, so what? (yeah, that they stole the bottle isn't cool...and the underage drinking thing...well, I'm not going to be a hypocrite)
Just be glad it's not heroin or crystal meth they're taking.

lmfao. that.is.hilarious.

keep the colors coming. preferably blue-green and flashing. kthnxbye.

this is so true. the good players don't let this crap get in the way anyway. it's usually the ones who think they're sooo badass when they really aren't who have the attitude problems.

i would rather play with someone who underestimates their ability ANY day.

Hm, I'm going to go with earth tones like warm browns, etc. God, this is so stressful because I MUST WIN!

you're going to need to provide us with some citations to support that blanket statement jannie! :laugh:

i can't not play a color game. i'll go with cerulean. it's the superior blue crayon.

if i win, i'm going to sell raffle tickets and give him away again. $$$

ooh, you're right. cerulean is the best blue crayon. the worst? cornflower. fukc that crayon. it's all waxy and ****.

i know. what's up with the extra waxy crayons? like.. i cannot stand using the white one for that same reason. carnation pink is also like that to some extent. there's also a cruddy yellow-esque one, but i don't remember what it's called.

and.. it's always gotta be crayola. none of that rose art BS... ALL of those crayons suck.

i luv 2 colorrrrrrr :woohoo:

yeah, yellow orange? that one is ****. orange red though? great texture. rose art makes baby jesus cry.

for my bday last year some of my coworkers got me coloring books :laugh:

:laugh: for my birthday last january, my freakin' partner got me a coloring book. sheebus. :laugh:

but did you get glitter crayons with it? :laugh:

I love coloring too. I always tend to go overboard though. after coloring what is supposed to be colored, I'd always darken eyebrows, put blush on the bitches and sometimes color in highlights in their hair. :shrug:

i'm shocked! :laugh: