on the outside looking in
 

It's going to be hard to explain this, but I'm gonna give it a shot. Pretty much my whole life I've grown up having this very independent streak and refusing to conform to trends and such. On the one hand, I'm very comfortable in my own skin and dont feel beholden to being what others think I should be, other times I find myself wanting more acceptance. I dunno, I thought to myself this morning, I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not. Ugh, the inner conflicts of life!:lol:

You shouldn't have to change who you are just becuase someone has a problem with it --Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City.

Oh yes :nod: The only people who hate you for who you really are always turn out to be assholes, and you didn't want them to like you anyway. If you pretend to be something you're not, you never have any real idea who likes you and who doesn't :shrug: And acceptance is pretty bogus - you think you might want it but when you get it, you find it's bloody useless anyway :laugh:

David, you know I luv ya just the way ya are! And your siggy fits on my monitor too :shrug:

It's when you don't like yourself that ya need to start worrying and looking for change :nod: If you're happy and content with who you are then screw those who don't like it!!

ack! get outa my head!

:p

I have some experience with this...that's all. 2007 is the year of self-improvement and self-love :D

david. I have always loved that saying and have "tried" to stick to it. Im sure its great and dandy at the top but if someone cant accept you for you-then do you really want to be friends with someone like that? I sure dont. :)

P.S. You're not alone. I feel on the outside looking in sometimes too :xoxo:

Girlie, Im right there with ya, believe me :nod:

we really could have done without that ;)

leave it to you to cheapen that beautiful sentiment! :distress:

lmao. no, no one can do without that. :p

The hardest thing sometimes is not being pulled one way or the other by all the advertising that's on tv about whats hot and not and what were all supposed to like these days according to the marketing whizzes!:lol:

well....


true..


:lol:


shall I take my bow now? sorry if that offended you, but I already gave my heartfelt 2 cents. :shrug:

Oh man I KNEW KNEW either you or Carrie would say something about that one :laugh:

I should have placed bets :p

well..you would have had to bet on which one of us....hehee.... :D

I was even going to make a comment after my initial post - something to the effect of (shut up Carrie and Michelle) :laugh: I decided against it.

it wouldn't have helped...;)

That's why I didn't include it :lol:

us bop girls know each other toooo too well...:laugh: ;)

It's a curse :p

plz, don't apologize. i needed hip boots to wade through this thread ... at least your post made me laugh. :laugh:

:xoxo: :xoxo:

Ask anyone, Carrie can turn any thread to the topic of masturbation.

Its a skill really.

i.hate.you. :laugh:

and yes, it is! :wavey:

I can imagine that when you are a minority all your life you are going to feel at times a pain for wanting to be in the majority, not having to fight against judgement from people who can't fully understand, or at least that you can't simply assume are sympatico with you.

Or something like that. I'm not wording this too well. Some people have no idea at all of what they take for granted, the circumstances that exist to their benefit without them having to be aware of it. Nevertheless ignorance is not innocence. For example I'm poorish but am appreciative of what I do have, to many people who have never had to think about money if they think about it at all they seem to think anyone could have done what they did. I still don't know one tenth of the system that they were born into and had countless guides to in the form of relatives and such. It's the same with sexuality I imagine, most people have never had to think much about it, the system of the majority is a custom fit for them to be fulfilled through with no questions aimed at them as to whys or any of what gay people endure. I forget when I became aware of this, but when I did I suddenly saw a same-sex relationship as beautiful in the sense that love survived hostility but also simple even willful incomprehension from the outside society. And they are still together, over thirty years now, and it was made legally what it actually is not so very long ago! I helped in my own small ways to bring that change about here so that more people can be included and can more fully be themselves.

Different people add so much to this world for all of our benefit, and if someone has to wear hip-waders that's their handicap. It took me a long time but I finally "got it".

you didnt offend me! I was teasing you--I guess I used the wrong smiley :sorry:

No self-improvement, just letting your real self emerge like a butterfly, right? I think my res is to stop beating up on myself.

I've struggled with this same thing, David. Ultimately you have to be who you are, there really is no other option. You can make adjustments that you want to make to be happier. But you can't make any to try to make someone else happy. That never works.

This is a good reminder for me! :lol: I keep wondering why T didn't like me but who cares! He's a loser. Or a tosser, depending on who you talk to. :laugh:

Okay, who the hell is Bop? Please pardon my ignorance.

he's the conglomeration sitting on the back of Michelles motorcycle. part rooster, part goat, part redneck.

Yes but who invented him? Is he some kind of character from something or just Michelle's imaginary BF? :lol:

^^

Suze! Where have you been? :laugh: There was a whole scary thread entitled Mr. Bop that should explain everything to you....:D

And yes, letting my true self emerge, but in my case there is definitely room for self-improvement as well...like I need to stop being so mean...and negative...but that's for my own mental wellness really :nod:

somebody has to do it :shrug:

:lol:

Michelle, did you see post #28? Sorry for the misunderstanding :xoxo:

You're NOT mean! You're one of the sweetest people I know! :nod: :angel:
you can start being kinder to yourself RIGHT NOW!!!

*please?*

Thanks :o I am nice to people I care about - everyone else? I sometimes scare myself with what a bitch I can be :laugh: I just want to get in touch with my softer/gentler/kinder side I guess....let more of that out and less of the other in....

I've just really closed myself off to people in the last three years _ I want to reverse that this year :nod:

That's the way...
 

to live, be honest with yourself and to hell with what anyone ever thinks about you. If people dont care about you for being yourself then that is there loss, not yours, dont change to fit into their puzzle when you dont feel like the puzzle piece.

Trust me, People have tried to change me all my life and they still fail. My Mother never tried as have my wife Deb...Whereas the people who have are no longer a "puzzle piece" in my life.

yes, I did. thank you :)