A Little Girl Help Please
 

Ok, so maybe you know, maybe you don't but to just remind you, I am totally crazy about this girl named Sarah. We know each other more than aquantances but we aren't friends in the sense that we like do stuff together. We are in this singing group together and she is partnered with this one guy whom she at one point had feelings for, but he is a jerk and rude, and she has definately told me that and has told me she can't stand him. Yet when they are together, she talks to him more than she ever talks to me.......

I would absolutely love to date this girl, but I doubt she has feelings for me, but then again maybe the semi not talking to me thing is her way of hiding her feelings. Now what is weird, is on myspace I am in her top friends, and this guy isn't. I used to message her all the time, and at first she would write me back, but pretty much every time since then, I haven't heard from her..... There are so many things that I could say to her (hints the like 17 songs about her). So I ask you all this. Do I tell her how I feel? and if so how?

The choral group we are in performs these dinner things and they start tonight and run through saturday. We are called Madrigals and are these royal people from the 1600's and are dressed in these elaborate costume, and she is just soooooooo unbelievably beautiful that everytime I look at her my heart just melts.......

So guys what should I do? Talk to me about this....... All help would be greatly appreciated.

Much Love,
Ethan

not sure what you should do about your girl troubles, but I like the idea of your performing madrigals! that is so cool.....Ive been getting into medieval music lately and have had a hard time finding Madrigals and such on CD. I hope you have a great time.

as for the other, I think if it were me and it was really bothering me, I'd go up to her and ask her why she doesnt respond to your messages any more.
Maybe her boyfriend got wind of it and is jealous. :shrug:

I don't think she has a boyfriend.

I think I would ask her out if I were you. Do you kids date anymore? You could do something together. I don't think you have to profess your feelings for her just yet. You can put yourself out there by asking her on a date without wearing your heart on your sleeve. Know what I mean?

Yes, I agree. Telling her you're in love with her, or have feelings for her, will probably put her right off. Just ask her out. To dinner or something. And never take someone to a fast food restaraunt on a date. Though possible exceptions could be made for Chipotle or Chick-fil-A (just not the ones in the food court at the mall). :laugh:

I guess I just assumed her "partner" was her boyfriend :shrug:

I think he meant singing partner.

How old are you? Im sixteen and still deep within those high school dramas... Trust me i know exactly how you feel. I would have to agree completely with the girls on this one, the best thing you can do is ask her out, which up here pretty much means that you sit together at lunch and spend hours and hours on the phone. But trust me, i have let many many girls who i had those same feelings for slip by, and i have regretted every single one of them. I've also asked a girl who i was IN LOVE with if she would and she said no. yes it was crushing at the time but ultimately im glad i did it. I dont know about you but im the way overly shy type and i think even if she does say no, its a good growing oppurtunity and you can still keep trying anyways. And if she says yes, then problem solved! The best of luck with whatever you do.

Yall are right, she doesn't have a boyfriend. Yes I am very shy and self consious about myself. I am very short (we're talking like 5 3ish 4 ish) and have never asked a girl out because I feel that they wouldn't want me....... So honestly I don't know. The imaginative side of me dreams of asking her out and being with her. Then the "down to earth" side of me is saying that she would never want to be with me. If I ask her and she says know, that creates awkward tension because in essence she knows I have feelings for her and all of that.......

I just wish I knew how she feels about me right now. For me potentially asking someone out is a HUGE deal because for some reason for me (and my sister too) romantic feelings are always this big hush hush secret kind of thing......... I mean, nobody really knows about Sarah except for yall and my sister..............

I also tend to not know what to say to her. Like walking up to her and just starting a conversation........ I always ask her how she is or whatever, but that doesn't often carry into a long affair.........

Now, let's say I am going to ask her out, what would be the best way to do it to give me the best chance of a yes???

Thank you all for your comments and such. I really appreciate it.

Much Love,
Ethan

Don't worry that your height would be a big issue. I dated a man that I had a good 3 inches on. He's barely over five foot. I never made an issue out of.

I think you should go for it. The worst she can say is no.

Thank you for your words em fan. For those of you who might be interested in what the group sounds like, google ballard high school madrigal audio and click i'm feeling lucky..... Then scroll down until is says ballard magrigals. The performace was back in like 2002, but that is what our group sounds like......:nod:

Keep on with the girl advice,
Much Love,
Ethan

Man I think you and me should hang out sometime!:laugh: I'm that same exact way, where you feel like if you asked a girl out she just wouldnt feel that same way, that cursed down to earth side! there are so many factors that go into going out with someone, the social issues are countless (friends, different cliques (which are still very much around)) and can seriously stop a realationship in its tracks. i think the best way you can ever make something out of it is to ask her out. Are you friends with her friends (or could you be?) cuz that is one of the key things is to make sure they like you and that way you may be able to ask them what she thinks of you.

Good luck, Ethan and just ask her out to a movie or just to have a soda. If you are in same singing group than it should be easy to talk to her. It has been a very long time since I was in high school but as a girl, I would be very flattered if any young man asked me out on a date so just go and ask her to the movies or out for a soda and hamburger (do they do this anymore?) and if she says No then at least you tried. I am sure she will be thrilled that you asked her out. Hope everything turns out great.

It's such a risk because there is no way you can know her feelings beforehand. It doesn't work that way unfortunately. But you're a fine young man whether she's says yes or no, right? Try not to put so much weight in her answer. I know how hard that is. I kept everything in my heart a secret when I was your age too and could barely take a risk to save my life. It gets easier! It just takes practice. Remember what we old people say, when you look back on your life you don't regret the things you did just the things you didn't do. I think the movie is a good idea because then you have something you can talk about.

You could ask her to practice singing with you away from the rest of the choir and see how receptive she is to that. :shrug:

Everyone has good advice :nod: I think it's important to not lay it all down - don't come across as too intense, that could freak her out...

I'll add my name to the "just ask her out for a date" group...see what happens from there...Good luck!!

I haven't read what everyone else has said but here is my advice. Go ahead and put yourself out there. You definately don't want to end up in the "friend" zone and that is where you are headed. Fast. Women always go for the "bad" boys or the ones that treat them like ****, but in the end she will realize that is not what is going to make her happy (or is already seeing that?) You never know. she may feel the same way, but is waiting on you to make the first move. Yeah, I know-she could do it too, but it's always nice when the guy makes the first move, ya know. :thumbsup:

and dude. you can chill with the 17 songs. I'm only telling you this because you are a good guy and deserve to be happy. So I'm being honest. You can write them, no doubt. But she only needs to know about...maybe 1. 5 is a little creepy and 17 is just obsessed. Good luck and let us know how it turns out!!!

also keep in mind-if she doesn't feel that way about you, make sure you try to continue to be friends if you really care about her.

I would go up and ask her out too...however I am gathering from the posts there is a shyness in the asking due to a potentially negative response. If you want to test the waters...ask her to practice...something more could develop from there.

You all, I really can't even describe how much I appreciate all of the words. I have a few crutial points that I have to make though that I really NEED your opinions on........

Point #1: When I first started getting to know Sarah and stuff (the end of last school year and the beginning of this year) she used to always hug me, tell me how adorable I was and said "I love you" (you girls have no idea how much it drives guys crazy when you say that and don;t FOR REAL mean it). We used to hug all of the time, and in the mornings when I would be talking with my clique in front of our lockers before school and she would go to her locker (which was accross from where my group hung out) she would always say hi, and I'd walk over and we'd talk a little. Then the talkings became shorter and shorter. Then the "I love you's" came to an end as did the hugs. I used to remember those hugs.... Got my day started well...... Hints, if you've read my song lyrics on my myspace page I say "I used to be greeted with red velvet mornings....."

Now, it seems like no conversation ever takes place unless i bud in and start it. I haven't seen her at her locker in the mornings for weeks. I can't tell you the last time she told me I was adorable or hugged me or told me she "loved me"........ No joke, and it's like heartache........ Here's the question..... WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED????


Point #2: So her singing partner in the group....... There was a time when she had feelings for him. But he is really an ass (as someone here mention girls seem to like those kind of guys). So she then turned on him. Now, when she talks to him, she has this smile on her face, this glow about her........ And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, when we were leaving after our performance tonight, they kind of walked to her dad together and she hugged him and told him goodbye....... I was so livid that I just kept walking along, eventually passing, and not even a word from Ms. Sarah......... Not even a goodbye.......



Conclusion: I am sure I am leaving stuff off but its all I can think of at the moment....... I just don't know what to do....... I just want to be with her so bad, and not even for sex.... No joke. I just love being around her and I just want to hold her in my arms and never let go, and I know that is sooooo corny, but it is so the truth.

Since I have never had a girlfriend and never asked a girl out, I really just don't know what to do. I need to figure why things have changed with her and I need to get our relationship back to the way it was........


Oh yeah, and I need to get rid of the other guy.......... (that's a joke in a way).

Please Help,
Ethan

So I begin to wonder

Well, if you had something which whittled to nothing I would say you can pretty much forget about her. :sorry:

You can be brave and risk yourself and try to ask her to casually do something together, or you can stay in your corner and just dream.

She may say no to your question, but at least you will have tried, and can know that you didn't give up without a fight, if she is that important to you.
If she says "no" and explains she is liking the other guy, you will hurt, but you are hurting now already from what I gather. At least you'll know where things stand.
And after some time the hurt will get less and you will feel room again to like other people. Take it from an old experienced person.

And if she says yes, then slowly take it from there. Don't scare her away and freak her out with too much intensity, like everyone here already has been advising.

Sasja

It is not like I let it wilt to nothing. If anything I have been trying harder to talk to her and all of that...... I think I need to maybe message her and just ask her why things have changed...... I don't know.

Much Love,
Ethan

that was what I said in the beginning. :shrug:

Yeah, try talking to her, or like you said, message her. Perhaps tell her you feel your friendship's gone cold and you're wondering why because you miss the warmth that was there? Also, don't try harder, it sounds like she's running and you're chasing. If you stop chasing she may stop running.

Yeah I think I ought to message her...... What exactly should I say, to not make it sound like I am crazy about her and such???

Much Love,
Ethan

Just say what everyone has suggested...say you've noticed that you don't talk as much, don't seem as close as you once were and you are wondering why.

And I agree - DON'T try harder...people who try to hard often don't come across good and it could just really freak her out, push her away further. It's hard to do - but just sit tight and try sending a message...

Yeah, I will send her a wonderful message once the Madrigal season kind of tapers off because I don't want to really ask her about things until I have a little space from her and the other guy....... Does that make any since? So I am thinking in the timeframe of christmas break which is only in like 2 weeks, so I am SOOOOO pumped for a break......

Thanks all of you all for your suggestions, and I will tell you what happens tonight at the dinner performance between both me and her and her and the other guy.......

Much Love,
Ethan

p.s Oh yeah, I posted the chain live from mirage on my profile and sent a bulliten about it.... ha ha saying that I can really relate to the song and such..... I have so many allusions to the whole situation, that It would blow her mind.....:nod:

am i the only person who reads this thread title as "a little girl - help, please!"?

:shrug:

I read it as that too!



Anyway, I think you should just ask her out. If she says no, that just means you two aren't meant for each other like you thought.

do you have too much bop on the brain??

whooo is the beauty........where is my bop??...

My love...is a bop, who's not been tamed....

Even though you are?
That is a tuff one. :shrug:

Ok guys, I just got back from the dinner...... I think all of this dissapointment and such has really made me almost have a change of heart about the whole situation. It's like..... My feelings have maybe cooled slightly. I have prayed that God help always guide me and make the best choices in life (not necesarily on this matter) and maybe this is his way of telling me that I am not meant to be... I don't know.

So here is how this is going to work. For the next several days I am going to just let things play out and see where my feelings end up. I am almost positive that the other guy has feelings for Sarah because he like follows her everywhere...... So maybe that could affect things. But like I said, I am just going to see where my mind and heart lead me. If, by Christmas Break, I still have feelings, I will certainly message her and see why she seems to not be as lovable toward me as she once was.........

Much Love,
Ethan

P.S The dinner tonight went great from a performance standpoint.:thumbsup:

it has always been my experience that i have better success if i act like i'm not interested. But thats just not me and not my style. Im not into the whole "game" thing. Good, bad or indifferent-this is me. You just have to decide for yourself how you ultimately want to handle it. Good luck!

I think it would be best if I am just matter of fact about it, and maybe ask if there is something I did or said that caused this. I am known as a sweet and concerning guy, so she wouldn't probably pick up on anything..... Hopefully:nod:

I just sent her a message about our dinners, and I asked her a question (not pertaining to this thing) but if I don't get a response, then I will definately have to do it.... SHe's online now, so we'll see if she messages me back for the first time in weeks.......

Much Love,
Ethan

hmmm. Well let's see. If the two of you are as close as you say you are (im not even talking romantically yet-just friends) she should be able to tell you what is wrong. But dont be so quick to assume it is something you did. She could be dealing with things not pertaining to you. Just be a good friend right now.

God i hate myself right now. :laugh:

Look, the reason why I am bringing this up is because the way she has been treating me is different than the way she used to treat me....... It is odd.... I can't really even think about why she has changed, but that is what I am going to figure out.... If the feeling remains after the glitter fades.....:laugh:

Much Love,
Ethan

Then you need to concentrate on saving your friendship before you can even consider asking her out. Just ask her if somethings wrong. See what she says.

glad i'm not the only one!

:laugh:

i can't stop thinking about the bop ...

i know. iiiii know.

Exactly.... Like I've said she used to always hug me, tell me how adorable I was and all of that..... I can't tell you the last time that happened......

Much Love,
Ethan