Grieving wife sliced off willy
 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006420225,00.html

September 12, 2006

A WIFE aged 65 chopped off her dead husband’s willy in hospital — so she could keep it in a pickling jar as a souvenir.

Uta Schneider used a butcher’s knife to hack off the “treasured” manhood. She wrapped it in foil and put it in a lunchbox — next to gherkins.

But she was spotted by a nurse and arrested in Stuttgart, Germany. She is accused of mutilation.

Uta was wed to Heinrich, 68, for 35 years.

She told police: “It was his best asset and gave me so much pleasure.

“I wanted to pickle it for eternity — he would have wanted it. We called it his joystick. I wanted it to remember him by.”

Guess that gives...
 

a new meaning to "jerk the gherkins" :lol:

Must have been a hell of a piece.

...ewwwwwww

omg. no effing way.

That is nasty! But, she shouldn't be arrested. They were married for 35 years after all...

can you say OBSESSED boys and girls? :eek:

Wow! I hope she didnt want to have it stuffed! I can just see her taxidermy collection... "and this was my dog, rover, and here is my cat, clarissa.... oh... yes... and here is the love of my life.. Willy!! .... Oooh I wish I had some batteries... I miss him sooooo much"

Oops...thats probably a little mean spirited... the poor old thing... I wouldnt want to have to say goodbye to my darling after 35 years... although I dont know that I'd hack off good ol willy for rememberance...;)

Well, she should have had a mols made of it and then had it cast like they do porn stars and me :shrug:

good point there sir.

and I will casually overlook the fact that you suggest there is a mold of you out there somewhere...:laugh:

^^^^^

http://www.1adultsextoystore.com/com...TOKEN=78322787

WARNING - HYSTERICAL BUT ADULT LINK!!!!!!!!!

yeah, this one will have to wait til I'm at the hizzouse. :laugh:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Oh that is grand.

Hehehe...
 

this quote reminds me of a joke:

Q-Why did God put men on Earth?

A-Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn

Very Strange!!!!:lol: :nod:

Leave it to me to further smut up a thread!!!!!

:laugh: Oh my God -that's funny.

And I'm not sure the initial story in this post is supposed to be funny - but I am laughing my ass off over here. That's too funny - poor woman - she shouldn't have been arrested - the man's dead - he won't need his "joystick" :shrug:

You all saw it coming, but....

TUSK! :p

Gooooan.




:lol: :lol: That is pretty funny, actually.

Stevie, Christine, and I don't think that's very funny!













:lol: :laugh: :lol:

Not to threadjack, but...
 

Q-Why do men become smarter during sex?
A-Because they are plugged into a genius

Q-Why don't women blink during sex?
A-They don't have enough time

Q-Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A-They don't stop to ask directions

Q-Why do men snore when they lie of their backs?
A-Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they
vapor lock

Q-Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A-So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties

Q-Why did God make men before women?
A-You need a rough draft before you make a final copy

Q-How many men does it take to put a toilet seat down?
A-Don't know.....it never happened

I laughed too. And then I felt bad about it. :o :laugh:

I am very, very scared that Jason and I had the same idea (one of those do-it-yourself plaster-caster-like molds). :shocked:

I wonder if this guy was related to Johnny Wad?:lol:

Well, that is the method I suggest for everyone else :wavey: :wavey:

Well after a whirlwind viewing of all 6 season of Sex and the City recently - that's exactly where my mind went too :laugh:

One of the least-known facts about me... except in my circle of friends... is that my mind is perpetually in the gutter. It's fun to play innocent though. ;) :angel:

How else do you think we met - You had no home when you got the neighborhood!

Poor lady. She must have been really grieving and didn't know what she was doing:distress:

You're a junior-pervert, and we all know it. ;)

:xoxo:

This is why i shouldn't stray away from the ledge on weekends. I miss gems like this!

Poor lady, i feel bad for her. Seriously though, she had to have been dicknotized by this guy to hack it off as a keepsake. Go Germany!

I dont care if it was the biggest/best schlong known in the world, that's still extremely weird.