Time to add a new moderator?
 

This is not meant to be negative towards any of the current moderators but given the increase in trolls/hacker issues might it be prudent to add a new mod. There are several long term members who seem qualified (sodascouts in particular seems to always be tactful and has experience as a mod) and many are online far more frequently than some of the current mods. It's just a thought, sorry if it offends but thought I might throw it out there.

Right. So where was she to moderate herself when she mocked, ridiculed, and belittled me on her board? That was the epitome of tact. :rolleyes:

I think Jason could do it if he wanted to take it on.

Sorry, I don't really read the bn board so I am unaware of anything that happens over there. I know on this board if nancy ever does something wrong to someone she is usually very quick to apologize :thumbsup: , but again I'm not familiar with yoru situation and I didn't mean to offend anyone.

My experience with Nancy has been nothing but positive and I was just stating who I thought would make a good mod (and still do based on her behavior on this board). That said I do think Strandie would be a good choice too.

Oh, Hillary. I chose my words carefully with you because I knew you were quick to take offense and highly sensitive to any kind of criticism. I must confess, though, I had no idea how long you would harbor anger about it. Correct the following if I'm remembering it wrong. You said anyone who liked George W. Bush could not care about others. I said that was an unfair generalized statement and that I thought you were above that. How long ago was that? I'm not good with dates. It was before Bush was re-elected right? Perhaps I have the date wrong, you could refresh my memory if you like. Anyway, I was not being sarcastic. I still do not think I overestimated you there. I just think maybe you need to get better at letting go of past resentments. They're not healthy to hang on to. They fester and grow out of proportion until they block out reason. Trust me, I know from experience.

And poetinmyhear, thank you for the compliments. I think one board is enough for me, though!

It sounds like you're still telling people what they should and shouldn't do.

I still don't think that's a generalization. I said that if one were to actually think he's some great person, then that says something, because he most certainly looks down upon me and other gays. We are considered second class citizens. What he has said about us (and tried to do to take action against us) is unforgivable and heartless. I try to stay away from anyone who respects that; it's awfully homophobic. And you have made some homophobic comments.

It didn't seem like you chose your words carefully; it seemed that you were having a hell of a time kicking someone who was down. Actually, I can stand critcism of nearly any kind most of the time, but the fundamental thing that I doubt you understand is that that was not criticism. Criticism would be saying, "Hillary, I think that poem you wrote is subpar," or "I think maybe you were too harsh in what you said to that person." Showing a complete lack of understanding, sympathy, and empathy for what someone goes through every day as a person who was born gay is not criticism, it's just being hateful. I did not see any understanding, sympathy, or empathy in your posts. I have no reason to believe you have any concept of how hard it is to be gay, nor do you seem to want to try to understand. I'm pretty sure that if you did, and especially if someone you cared about was gay, you would see what a cruel person Bush is.

I don't even have any evidence to refute what I'm saying here. Whenever someone makes homophobic comments on your board, not only do you let them pass, you don't even try to challenge them. Yet you have no qualms about telling people what they should or should not say in other situations. And if someone were to say that black people are inherently sinful and they disapprove of them, I assume that would not be okay. Seems like a double standard.

Yes, that was about a year ago that this incident occurred. Despite the fact that I had the support of some other members, I no longer felt that as an out and proud lesbian I should be posting there. I encounter enough homophobia in real life.

I do think that you are correct about harboring resentments. It's pretty much never a good idea to do that and I know it but we all can't help from doing some things that we don't particularly want to do sometimes. Still, it's something I rarely do, so you can see that this was/is a pretty big deal.

You consider my belief that you were being unfair homophobic? I'm glad you're so open to other viewpoints.

[quote]
It didn't seem like you chose your words carefully; it seemed that you were having a hell of a time kicking someone who was down. [/qoute]
You consider that kicking? I know you have expressed how you have gone through many struggles as a gay person, I would image you would have a better sense of perspective.

I don't consider saying someone was being unfair as a hateful thing. I guess that's where we differ. If I did think that, I would say you were being hateful towards me right now. However, I don't feel that way. I wish you could see my perspective but perhaps that's too much to ask.

I remember whem my cousin Thomas died from AIDS. I was in the room. I watched him die. It still makes me cry to think about it. And don't you dare tell me I didn't care about him, because then I really will get angry. In fact my hands are shaking right now.

I guess you are just more insightul into my true evil nature than my gay friends like Jason, who just called me up last night, or Brian, who I've spent hours chatting with. I really have them fooled, huh.

You don't have any evidence, period. Find these highly offense posts, why don't you?

Well then, I am sad for you, Hillary. I will continue to treat you with respect and try to understand you, even if you never do that for me. I admit I still don't understand how someone who has often spoken of her hardships as a gay person has chosen this as one of her "big deals" to be upset about. You encounter lots of homophobia in real life. I imagine so, if you consider things like this major homophobia. You must be a very unhappy person. That's too bad. Maybe when you get a little older, see more of the world, you'll understand others better. Until then, at least TRY to keep an open mind, or else you'll never mature. Good luck with that.

I wish the best for you regardless.

Okay, I think that everything else that has been said looks pretty meaningless in light of this. It really doesn't matter what I have been angry or hurt over; I really, really didn't mean for something like this to have to come up. I cannot express how sorry I am that I have said things to bring up your memory of your cousin, which I'm sure is not far from your mind, anyway. I'm afraid that everything I'm going to say is going to sound trite, really. The sorrow you must feel is something I have never known. I have quarreled with you more times than one and I have felt bitter but I absolutely cannot take you saying that your hands are shaking on the keyboard as you're typing about him because I know that I have created this situation and I am truly sorry that I have to admit that I'm responsible.

I imagine it's somewhat unnecessary, for the most part, for me to say anything else but for the sake of being thorough I'll say that I see now that it looks as though some of our problem was semantics from the beginning. And when one person doesn't realize that it's a matter of semantics, that can be a very bad thing. (That could easily be either of us but I mean me). Even so, I just have never felt respected as a homosexual, not just as a person, by you. Maybe that was based on many assumptions. The only posts I was referring that I would know where to find have been lost since the board has been moved, and I think that's probably for the best at this point.

I really am more open-minded than you think, but proving that about myself or anything else is really irrelevant to me right now. I'm just sorry. No disagreement I've had with anyone on the internet was worth this, I don't think. So, I am just sorry and I wish I could think of another way to express that.

Thank you for that, Hillary. I never wanted to be your enemy. It's a new day and we probably both feel better now. Let’s start over, OK?

And Lux, if you’re sick of me telling you my opinions on the way you live your life, if my concern disgusts you to the point where you feel the need to insult me in everything from Ledge Survivor to the picture threads to the Ledge board, then you have the power to make it stop. Un-friend me on LiveJournal. Stop telling me your problems when you get into chat with me. Because as long as I can see what you’re doing, I’m going to remember the girl I used to talk to, and I’m going to care. So cut me out of your life or deal with my interference. That’s far more effective than following me to various Ledge threads to harass me. I’ll get the message loud and clear. So the ball’s in your court, Lux. What are you going to do?

I am all for new moderators but we really have to be careful.

We want people who can remain objective and that aren't too close to anyone on the boards so things don't ever look like one's playing favorites.

I think Johnny Stew does a great job and I really think he has Chit Chat and Stevie down pat, it's just the other boards who probably need new people since those moderators are MIA most of the time.

I honestly have no one in mind but I'm sure we can find a way to find some.

yeah, arent half of the moderators not even here anymore. I know that Barbara who is the Lindsey board moderator is gone.

Sorry Hawkeye - still here. Where do you get your information?
Barbara

Maybe from your posting history? :shrug:

It has never occurred to me to judge anyone on their "posting history". There are many Ledgies who are no longer around who were very prolific posters.
Barbara

Let's hire Carnevaca for the job. Fun.

:thumbsup: I love it!

@Barbara.. you must've read more in my post than there is actually there because I don't remember judging anyone. It's a simple fact you don't post that often. Maybe you lurk a lot, I have no idea about that.

I'm all for 'self moderating' or 'anarchy', actually. But maybe that only works on Dutch forums since we're more used to that :D

Hi Mari -
The old Ledge was a failed experiment in self-moderating, and even when Marty started this board with moderators it wasn't until we established some guidelines in 2002 that it became easier to deal with recurring issues that were divisive and destructive.

Probably "judging" was the wrong word. The nature of a moderator's job is lurking. I try and read the LB Forum regularly and take care of any problems that come to my attention through private emails. Unless I have something helpful to contribute, I rarely post. After five years as moderator, it seems I've said everything I know at least twice! :D

Barbara

Im sorry Barbara, but I've just never seen you post, so I assumed you werent here.

Hawkeye:

So now you know. I'm here! :cool:

Barbara