Random Thoughts/Express Yourself
 

This is an idea I had for a thread, but I don't know how well it will work out. Basically, it's a thread to just express your thoughts at any given time. For instance, you could use it to vent, say something you're thinking about but don't feel comfortable saying out loud to anyone else, a song that's running through your head, etc. It can be as meaningless or as important as you want it to be. You don't have to be shy about how you express it either. Just go straight from your mind to writing it down. Anything goes. Even if it's embarrassing, it's great therapy and you're among friends. You can tease in here, but you can't judge. Make sense? Ok, my first thought I've had all day is:

I wish I could sleep. This is killing me.

awww..Hillary - just relax, there really is nothing to driving :xoxo: Good luck and I hope you get to see the person you love soon :nod:

Speaking of love...I am happy being single, at least I am when I think about all of the people I've met/dated since moving to Rochester.

Seriously.

I'm starting to think there is just something genetically wrong with the men of Rochester. And then I met one woman, but she has SO many problems and issues - figures - I cannot date someone as high drama and with as much baggage as this woman has :distress:

So I guess I would rather NOT be single - but I refuse to be with someone I can't stand just to not be single, ya know?

I keep thinking of this one woman, Carolyn was her name, we were great great friends and I liked her as more than a friend, the feeling wasn't mutual, although she was gay - anyway - very very bad things ended happening in that friendship and I've not dated a woman since (this was oh 5 years ago or so). So part of me is REALLY scared to venture to that side again...

Anyway - I could go on forever with this...see what you started LaGringa?? :laugh:

Great idea for a thread though :thumbsup:

Thanks. :)

Yeah--stay away from the crazy women with the unmanageable baggage! :laugh: I understand your hesitance. But at the same time I know that you're young, beautiful, and an all-around great person so I know you'll find a great guy or girl. :nod:

Right now I'm thinking of how annoyed I am at people who don't check their phone messages and/or email. I've been trying to get a hold of two of my friends (for diff. reasons) and have been having no luck. Grrr. I check my emails every day (sometimes multiple times a day) and if a friend of mine leaves a message, I ALWAYS CALL BACK! :mad:

aww thanks :xoxo:

I just recently had a dream about Carolyn which is why she's in my mind..I just can't get rid of her ghost I guess. I don't even know where she is at this point :shrug:

And yeah - I know to totally stay away from the crazy girls - problem is finding a girl who isn't psycho crazy ya know? but whatever - I really am just totally content right now with my dog and I'm moving into a new apartment in a couple of weeks! I've got a great job - life is good right now and I couldn't ask for more :D

I really love my new job. Even though I've been working 40+ hours/week, I enjoy it so much. Being a Nurse was the right career move. :nod:


I'm happy being single too. But then again I'm not. Last week, my EX came over to see my apartment. He lives with his BF....Well, we ended up making out and stuff. I love him still....miss him still....want him still....I dunno what to do about it. BLAH! :rolleyes:

Right now I'm a little lonely because I'm at my Dad's house for the next week, and not only is it away from my friends, but he's home basically a grand total of an hour a day. So for the last couple of days, it's just been me stuck alone in the house :shrug: Then we have my ex-boyfriend who wants to get back together with me, I'm relatively sure I'm over him, but I don't know if I want to give up any possibilities :shrug:

~Marissa~

Hillary...
 

That's great. :nod: I still have no idea what I want to do, unfortunately. :(

You are not alone!!!!! I'm twenty-four. My THIRD learner's permit just expired. I think I used it maybe a handful of times. I'm so terrified of driving. Everytime I get behind the wheel, my blood pressure shoots up and my palms get sweaty and cramp up from gripping the wheel too hard.

If I recall correctly, Dissention and Amber don't drive either.

It's strange; I never had to take a driver's test. If we got an "A" in driver's ed and our teacher passed us on our practice driving test, we just walked into the bureau and got our license. :thumbsup:

Sorry you can't sleep.
I wish I wanted to do something other than sleep... :laugh:
I usually express most random thoughts anyway. Right now I'm thinking I better start packing and cleaning up my house more, as someone will be here tomorrow to take me away. Then I'm thinking that's really boring, so of course I don't want to do it. Then I'm thinking - millions of people do boring things that make their life run better every day, why is it so hard for me??? That's about it. Oh, I'm also listening to Self Control by Laura Brannigan, and thinking I really like that song. Mainly I'm just sorry you can't sleep. :o

But the difference is, Amber LOVES to drive, but doesn't have a car. LOVES IT!!!FAST!!! And dissention has a cute car, but just doesn't like to drive. :rolleyes: :D

Yep
 

I doubt there are many schools left that include behind the wheel training in Driver's Ed. Schools can't afford it. Here in California, you take Driver's Ed, which involves a textbook, lectures, videos, etc, then you go to the DMV, take a written test, get a learner's permit, enroll in Driver's Training (which is the only way to validate the learner's permit if you're under 18. If you're a legal adult you don't have to take Driver's Training.), practice, and go back and take the actual driving test.

I never get past the acquiring of the learner's permit. (I have no problem passing the written test... but once I get the permit I never seem to practice)

Whoa! Drivers training? When I got mine, days after my 16th, I was just supposed to learn while I had my permit. Took the class in school, like you said.
That sucks.

I am supremely annoyed at the traffic I have encountered in Los Angeles this week. It took me over two hours to get home from work last night.

On the flip side, my ass isn't coming in until 11 tomorrow. Then I am doing paperwork, eating lunch, and leaving at 2.

So happy to be single, since everyone has mentioned this subject. Two guys I know want to "date" me, and I am not that into it. Hard to say that in a nice way to them. They're nice guys, but I don't need it. I am extremely content being by myself. Two weekends ago I didn't talk to a soul for 48 hours straight. Heaven. Did yardwork, hungout by the pool, and played with the birds. It was bliss.

Makes up for the traffic. :lol:

Oh, and I need more sleep.

Hmmm... Maybe it differs from county to county? :shrug:

'Cause here you can get your learner's permit at 15 1/2, but it's not valid until you enroll in Driver's Training. Then you practice for six months and take the test.

Maybe. Or maybe they changed the rules since the dinosaur age when I was 15. :D
Oh, and all you people who say you are so happy to be alone - crap off!!! :lol:

Currently...
 

I wished I wasnt sick every frikkin' day, Now I am starting to develop nausea with the headaches...Hell, I am nauseated and dizzy at this exact moment as I type this up.

I also worry that I may find out I am physically sicker than I believe I am when I have the MRI performed very soon...Lost over 20 lbs since the day my Mother passed away (Every once in awhile I go read that thread on here, And it seems so distant a time ago, But it was only 3 months ago :distress: ), Still stressed out from awaiting the autopsy results so we can proceed with a negligent death lawsuit.

Otherwise, I trade music as usual to keep my mind (When not in pain) off of this sick thing known as my life...Thank God I have a family to vent to, I may be the youngest child at 35, But I feel much, much older mentally.

sorry, bri. kisses. :xoxo: :xoxo:

Me too. And I'm thinking it's too bad I don't swing that way at all because Deanna is so cool and I am having the same problems with men around here. What am I some kind of magnet for men who can't treat a woman right? Yes. So I am happily single as well. I'd really rather be on my own.

The last man I was with did a number on my self-esteem and I feel so much better now but I'm beginning to get that itch. I miss the companionship. But not the drama. Not the drama at all. Like Mary J says, no more drama in my life.

Yeah... 'cause you're sssooo much older than me. :rolleyes:

As for the issue of being single...

Sometimes I'm happy about it. Sometimes its depressing. I've never been in a real relationship (and am still a virgin :( ). (I know you and I have had this conv. before, Amber, but I'm gonna vent anyway) All I seem to attract are really nasty perverted men (like the one who wanted to breastfeed me) and butch lesbians (sorry, but if I'm gonna go for a lady she'd better look like a lady). All I ever fall for are men that are either married or otherwise taken, and women that are as straight as a ruler. That's depressing. Really, really depressing.

On the other hand, I don't have to report to anyone. I don't have anyone trying to dictate who I can see and where I can go and I don't have the worry of wondering who anyone is with and what anyone is doing. Plus I'm the kind of person who likes to have a lot of alone time.

That is one of my biggest pet peeves, too!

Hon, I wish you weren't sick too. I hope that they find what is wrong. I'm so sorry about all you've been through. I really feel like there are good things around the corner for you though. Just hold on through the bumpy stuff right now and I think when you get through this rough patch you are going to have a very nice and happy time in your life. And you will feel younger then than you do now. I don't know why I see this for you but I do. I hope it is true. You and Deb really deserve some good stuff. I truly believe in karma. Yeah, that's why, you've got some good stuff coming because what goes around truly does come around. You put out so much good energy into the world, it is going to come back to you. :angel:

Here ya go: I had my first boyfriend in kindergarden. We "dated" off and on until I was about 18. By that time, he had his head in his ass... dealing drugs and stealing cars/radios out of cars, etc. Anyway, I was his first love. The last time I saw him, we were 18, and he had enlisted himself in the Marines to get himself out of trouble. So, he came over and we talked for a long time, yadda, yadda, yadda, and he asked me to marry him. I told him no, and I haven't heard from him since. Last Friday comes along, and he stops over at my parents house wondering how he could get in touch with me. He gave my dad his business card and asks for me to give him a call. I was estatic to hear he came around after 10 years, and I was curious to see how he turned out. We talked the next day for 2 hours, and he goes on about how he never wants to go that long without talking to me, and he would like to keep in touch as often as possible, and he was sorry he wasen't there for me when Jason died.... oh, by the way, I've been married for 4 years now! WTF??? Why are you looking for your first love, then? Would'nt your wife be pissed if she found out you were looking for me? Have you even told your wife your calling me? I mean, it could be totally innocent, and he was just checking up on me, come over to a BBQ, meet my wife.. but why say all the things you just said to me?? And, he has told me zilch about his wife. I tried to ask. He would'nt talk about her. Is it just me, or does he have an "itch"?

I second that. It's been over 2 years since Jason died. I'm ready to try again. 6 year olds just dont care how ****ty your day was at work. They don't take the garbage out either! :lol:

:xoxo: Why is it that ****ty things always happen to the nicest people? :distress:

Keepin' you in my thoughts. Hang in there. :xoxo:

yeah. But I mainly care about regularly having that other thing. Good points, though, I guess. :laugh: Although I try to spare my boyfriends boring details... :p I like to say "oh, it was lame, as usual. So, what's for dinner, sweetie?" :lol:

Same. I have this one friend who I used to be really close with but she never returns emails and rarely phone calls. When we do talk its lovely but the other times are so frustrating. :distress: I have some of the best times with her but they are few and far between. I want to make some new friends but that isn't the easiest thing for me to do. I'm working on it though. I love to do things like kayak, other kinds of boating, water skiing, yet I have trouble finding companions somehow. I often feel isolated. I hate it. People are so noncomittal. I have a friend at work, I've asked him to do a number of things over the past month and he always has some excuse. I give up. I must be picking people that aren't interested in hanging otu with me or something. I don't know. Okay, I'm gettign too personal on here. Lagringa, dangerous topic for Suze! :)

And Curtis, I'm sorry you're sad about the ex BF. He's an idiot. Okay, I don't know what he is but if he's made you feel sad I have to say he's an idiot.

I am so happy for you that you love what you are doing. When are you moving to Boston? ;)

:eek: :eek:
Be careful, or run!!!!

I've not called him since that first time. He's called me since. I don't want to be a bitch, but I do want to figure out his intentions.

Right, he has an itch. Also, people don't change. I've tried to go back and it's never worked. It ended the first time for a reason. However, I don't think it is a bad thing to be in touch, just be very forthcoming and honest about what you will and won't tolerate. If he cannot fit into that then tell him it is best if you two don't keep in touch. If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat...

Let yourself be at least 20% bitch. :nod: Being too nice will always get you the raw end of the deal. You could just ask why he's contacted you after so many years. Could it be that simple? ;)

I disagree. It's obvious he's unhappy in his marriage and looking for something that meant a lot to him...and still does. Why live a life of uncomfort?

Random Question:

Is it possible to date someone who doesn't like sex?

Well, as far as his changing, as far as I can tell, he has to the point where he owns his own business, and is going back to college in the fall for his MBA. So, in that sense, I'm proud of him. He went much further then I ever did. But I won't tolerate a cheater. If his intentions are to cheat on his current wife, now, I will have nothing to do with that. Who's to say he wouldn't do it to me in 4 years..... :shrug: I'm not even saying that's his intentions. But I'm puzzled on why now.

Some people don't like sex. I don't know why you wouldn't............ :laugh: