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A Halloween-inspired parody
Yes, I'm getting (you) started again!! Oh, Jaa-aake! Bruce and I were goofing around this afternoon and came up w/ this:
(to SYW) Something in your Halloween bag was good I snuck a few candies out Here in the dark where I eat in my bed I remember that piece Some chocolate mixed with peanut butter - YUM! That certain kind of taste That you love because you can buy it again in an instant Say you will, say you will Give me M&M's Peanut, please, no not the plain They always seems to hit the spot When I need that chocolate I crave Say you will say you will Put your ghost mask on At least put on a sheet so you can trick or treat So please don't you tp my house I promise to doal out the sweeeets |
Here's another....
RTTG (by Bruce)
Until she herself... Ate all the chocolate pumpkins... Leaving only wrappers...and green M&M's... Oooh...until she herself...ran out of all candy... Hands all sticky...no napkin in sight... And so you knock again...on someone else's door... There are so many houses to run up to.... For the candy that I must have... For the candy that I must have... Trick or treat! Your turn!! |
Oooh, Livia, we had so much fun with these back in April after the Leno shows! We came up with some fab-o ones about Mama Nicks' dress. :laugh: In the tradition of Halloween candy...
Candy Rules Maybe we were together eating truffles Maybe we are together eating taffy and Mars bars Maybe our cholesterol is not supposed to go up Maybe your treats are not supposed to make me jiggle I hear about you now and then I wonder how you taste and if you're sticky Sometimes I walk by and I get that certain craving Just to make sure that you still taste gooooood Just to make sure that I can still enjoy you When I eat you again As I always do It appears to me that candy rules That my metabolism is ruthless With the weight gain it chooses It's not being fatty, it's just making me drool I'm not a fool Six weeks at Jenny Craig How the time flew I didn't eat Godiva But I heard it coo... Now it was the only time that I couldn't eat Toberlerone and gummy fish I just said 'I quit!' and ran home When I eat you again As I always do It appears to me that candy rules That my cellulite is ruthless With the ass cheek it chooses It's not being overweight, it's just enjoying good food I'm not a fool I like peanut butter cups I like mallomars I like the way that peanuts fir into M&Ms so snug and tight It's like heaven in my salivating mouth The sugar is storing itself in my fat glands Like lots of carbs eaten late at night, making me cry... When I eat you again As I always do It appears to me that candy rules That the scale is ruthless With the number it chooses It's not feeling ashamed, it's just knowing that you're obese I'm not a fool |
BWA-HA-HA! Love it!!!
Unwrap Me (Illume) Unwrap me, says the candy that I hold A delectable morsel All the way down my throat Unwrap me – like it teases I am a scrumptious treat From the corner store I like the Snickers bars I like the Mounds I like the way the M&M’s Melt in my mouth, not my hands |
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
You ate it up again I watched it happen Every piece, piece by piecccccccccccccce But more important, Calorie by calorie You held it in your palms You licked it's chocolate off I listened to you chew its caramel like a cow Weighed down Like Hoffa in the sea Maybe now it could prove to you That candy is no good for you And you should stick to salad... You say it's good Now you should throw it away But it tastes so sweet and you have no other treat You're attracted to sweets like worms to bait WELLLLLLLLL, you eat it and are no longer thin... |
A sad song about a spurned candy bar...
Go on eat me up Leave the wrapper here You love some other confection I shouldn't be here Don't tell me why You know the answer It's so filling, little one There is no nougat here I have come to know This world of new sweet treats I don't have any peanut butter I can't change it But be true to me My center's creamy I'm so lovely, little one But I won't be eaten |
In case anyone needs inspiration, check out the old songs we did about Stevie's black dress:
http://ledge.fleetwoodmac.net/showth...o&pagenumber=1 Ahhh, those were the days. C'mon back everyone, you're missed! :) |
After The Candy's Gone
Well I never thought I'd eat the whole bag by myself I never thought that I could keep it down But what I've chewed today could choke a nanny goat What I've left to eat, well you know I'll find a way For me it's the only day I'm in a sugar haze Mrs. Fields is just a mini mall away Even though the dental decay will come on strong It's not wrong The cravings remain even after the candy's gone The hungriness every Halloween is hard to take We'll all eat something it might be coconut cream The timeless taste of a truffle tonight makes my back teeth ache Oh you know the treats keep coming even when You have skipped a meal For me it's the only day I'm in a sugar haze Mrs. Fields is just a mini mall away Even though the dental decay will come on strong It's not wrong The cravings remain even after the candy's gone The wrappers remain even after the candy's gone Dissention...You are HYSTERICAL. Come on, Jake. Give us a classic ! |
sparky!!! LMAO!!! :laugh:
Here's another: Well I heard she dived down into a box of Russel Stover's He said, "That's not what I heard...I hear she went for Hershey's." She depended on her gut to tell her when to stop it To make her churn and give up...this is chocolate binding you up... Like a woman drinking Slim Fast... She used to know who she was Don't call out my weight...call out my weight But she gets an answer...she prays...that it's not tipping the scale "Better run for your life!" cried her personal trainer "Alright," she said..."I'm going back... To the Weight Watchers clinic...I'm going back..." Oh no, you cannot tell a big-boned woman...ooh, that she's no longer a member She'll become a deadly weapon...and sit on those in her path Oh get some pumpkin pie... |
Quote:
Dissention, you should start writing Harlequin romances- but instead of mock-Fabio drawings on the covers of your novels they should be mock-Lindsey drawings (Lindsey's waaay more sexy than Fabio anyday.... then again, who isn't??? :laugh: ) The Tower <----- apologizing in advance for smutting up an otherwise sparklingly clean thread :eek: :blob2: :angel: |
Eating you
Isn't the right thing to do How can I Put down this chocolate candy If I could Baby, I'd eat it all day How can I When it puts 10 pounds on me You can eat chocolate cake (eat chocolate cake) You can call another Jenny Craig You can eat chocolate cake (eat chocolate cake) You can call another Jenny Craig... OK... someone finish this up for me... I have to go to work, and I can't keep sittin' here! :laugh: |
Another one by Bruce (1000 Days):
The closest you ever came to me was Halloween in 1983... I was playing in Austin, Texas...with a big witch hat for all to see... We'll you've been praying...you're always saying...you want to trick or treat... Oooh, why do you want to spook? I said it's my favorite holiday and now you're stalking me, my friend... It seems like a thousand queens just steal my dreams... It seems like a thousand queens just steal my dreams... You're not a girl...you're not a guy... And Margie Kent never made an outfit in your size... If you must impersonate...please take off my cape... Why not be Cher and let my boots be spared?... And as all good drag queens do Miss Ross... Please give my Rhiannon dress a toss... Well, give it a rest... Try your best... It seems like a thousand queens just steal my dreams... |
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Love it! |
You guys are so creative. I'm trying to think of something but I didn't get very far:
:confused: So I'm back to the candy store Back to the smell that I love To a room with some chocolate and gummy bears Back to the truffle that I was |
WTF?!
Weird...very, very, VERY WEIRD.
|
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
You guys have such great parody talent! Keep it coming!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: |
This is a song, about a Halloween witch…
Rhiannon rings like a bell at your door “Trick or Treat,” is what they’re saying You want to answer, but your teeth are sore From all the candy you’re eating All your life, you’ve never seen So many spiders and jack-o-lanterns Would you stay if she promised you Zagnuts? Will you ever diet? Will you ever diet? She is like a cat in the dark And then she carves a pumpkin Takes to the sky and howls and barks A werewolf, a fairy, a goblin Someone finish it - time to go hooooooome!!! |
Quote:
Sung to the tune of Talk To Me... I can see we're thinking 'bout the same thing Yes, I see that expression when the doorbell rings We both know trick-or-treaters are here There's no sense in keeping all the Snickers Sugar hungry brats get mean when you treat them with neglect Don't horde them now, Or you'll find danger out there, yeah... Pass them out You can pass them out Put them in their bags Or they'll get your windows with shaving cream, ooh... Toilet paper Hidden in their pockets Seldom seen Until you close that front door Look outside, It's hanging from your trees, ooh what a view... Is it all that hard Is it really all that tough Well, they've done so much already You can hide treats from them But they'll light a bag of poo on your front porch...ooh, yeah... Pass them out You can pass them out Put them in their bags Or they'll pee on your deck...welllllll.... So, you give them apples No cavity, no gum disease Their voices search for some swear words That they'll yell and scream The spit flies fast, to tell you you're a stingy schmuck OOH, let the TP fly past Set your sprinkers free You'll get them sopping wet and they will flee You can get them to leave And you'll still have your Snickers here |
Intense...leg cramps
As I squeezed through the door Trick or treat bag tearing But still I begged for more And no queen sized sheet ghost get-up could be wider than me And no Goodyear Blimp synthetic could cover down to my knee Real loud indigestion It was hard to breathe I was a strain on the top of the stairs And I called...for feed! And so you fed me As scared neighbors often do You cared not for sweets nor fat dudes You think I knew And Jenny Craig, they'll charge me I'll weigh in, then eat more food I had asked you, Be my sponsor Sponsor of the moo Some call you sponsor of the moo Some say Why don't I wipe my chin I binge on Fruit roll wraps and Pixie Stix Does anyone So we make our choices For tricks or else for treats We can hear our own voices But we can't see our own feets And when the Atkins dieters gather around you saying Why don't you just lay off the carbs Well tell them I won't be your sponsor Not your diet, not the Subway diet, not the Weight Watchers diet, Not the grapefruit Hollywood stomach stapling Not the ghyuxs dshh jjvbhj dshn njbjdsnjm xnnksk (Spins, eats microphone, falls through stage) |
I hate that I have a full weekend ahead. I have ideas for songs but no time to write yet. Titles keep popping into my head:
- Seven Wonkas - Battle of the Diet - Grubbo - Silver Scale - Snickers Honey - Stop Draggin' My Ass So Round - Girdle on Blond I'll be back when I'm able... |
GIRDLE ON BLOND
Learn to eat just salad Bland so bland By sneeze-guard she finds...more cucumber I crave more food now What was it, that smell Was it one chocolate bar Like the Hersheys that I love Was it Krackle, Nestle, Or tell me...Was it Dove Would it give more strain to my side Add more to my hide Something not too touch Because girdle hurts too much Well have you come to see That my hips stick out from me Oooh beneath my flesh colored girdle And how I dream To eat some more ice cream On a stick one night...no crime On a cone one night...no crime Chew the tofu I am sick of...which vice Well I hear Good Humour ringing...which vice Does it force you to remember All the junk you used to love To be slim fight the hunger Girdle on blond Not pulled too tight Because it hurts too much Just how to cheat Do you reach in bag Every Halloween night Every Halloween night Oooh I crush my ribs now My will power fell Well this time I think my waist grew This time |
Quote:
OK I am compelled to participate now. |
Quote:
Not Healthily It isn't just chocs that caused my sudden weight gain. Everything I eat now, isn't Lite or plain. Well it hurts my self esteem, it hurts my arteries. Oooh, I have really Got that blimpy feeling Sometimes it was Cadbury Sometimes it was O-ohhhh Henry Sometimes it was just Three Musketeers Well I want to roll away (Ooh, well I want to roll away) Then there's Halloween That adds another stone The sweets that make we weigh Far too much Not healthily then, I don't eat healthily now. (Haaaa, haaaa). Not healthily then, I don't eat healthily now. (Haaaa, haaaa). I wasn't underweight then, but I'm sure overweight now. (Haaaa, haaaa, haha Ha-ha). |
Well it hurts my self esteem, it hurts my arteries. [/QUOTE] :D SNICKERS HONEY One bite, baby, one bite Well I think you Will like Snickers, Honey It will help you reach sugar high Even if you hate peanuts You'll like these peanuts Steal from the bag of your brother Steal from the bag of your brother Tastebud sensation Some kind of temptation To eat Snickers Never Halloweening yourself Do you understand the phrase sugar coma Well you say it's just a moment on the lips So it's not worth it Can you find one more The answer's always yes Even brother's bag looks pretty full today, saving No body's tight, baby, all the time And the day after Halloween you'll have a huge behind So take some time to pig out from baggy 'Cause eventually we'll all be real fat and saggy Don't let one double chin bring you down, baby Come back trick or treater It's your last chance Junk's almost gone now And she'll eat fast like a starved kid And feel just like a carved pig She'll toss back Alka Seltzer Whispering the words One more bar, baby Just one more bar |
SILVER SCALE
It was a silver scale Bought at suburban mall She was a hefty girl Dressed just in her thong and bra She would have preferred The last Chunky with raisins But that's not light She's here to weigh She ate from bag for lunch She had some Nestles Crunch She ate $25,000 bar And she looks like it She's had a few hard candies Sometimes gut strains her panties The tug of elastic bandies Sometimes they leave red marks Sometimes she kept to her diet But you'll never really know Shadow moves across the scale She cannot see it though Unless she steps down Can't see her toe She was a costumed girl Caught in a neighbor's door And as the people stare She feels just like Pooh-Bear Still she's on mission girl To get Halloween bag filled For candy she'ss even killed She's a hungry ex-Weight Watcher Sometimes, she'd scold herself the next day But you'll never really know Shadow moves across the scale You cannot see below |
Jake, I knew you wouldn't let me down! LOL!!!
More, more! Someone has to do I'm So Afraid?! |
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