The Gay Thread

[Dex]

Well, let's face it, loads of us are gay. Anyone else want to discuss how awesome that is? Or, well... We can discuss anything you like, really.

Gay things that I've done today:

• My husband

• Watched HBO's Looking on Amazon Instant Video, which has turned out to be kinda awesome. Finally a show about gay guys who I actually like and find maybe a little relatable. I wanted Queer as Folk to be that show so badly when I was a teenager, but it just... yeah. And The New Normal, as likeable and funny as it was, was a bit Stepford-Gay for me. Looking is like a breath of fresh air in comparison.

• Recalled some humorous moments from the Golden Girls marathon I held last night.

Hm... ok... thinking about it, I seem to have basically just watched an enormous amount of TV this weekend. But it's cloudy out! Not my fault, right? The situation is completely out of my hands. ;)

[Artemis]

Well, I just got back from Gran Canaria on Friday, saw a load of drag shows, had sex with a lot of guys and drank enough cocktails to take down an elephant. Gayest holiday ever :laugh:

As for today though... I have a date later on with a guy who's been chasing me for ages. Hopefully it's gonna go well!

[Dex]

You've out-gayed me, Artemis! I'm thoroughly impressed and a little jealous. Hope you had fun.

Let us know how your date goes!

Odd though it may be, I'm not sure I've ever actually even been on a "proper date". I went from basically-just-goofing-off-with-friends-who-have-some-sex-with-me as a teenager and then met my now-husband when I was 20. And he lived halfway around the world from me so "dating" in the traditional sense just wasn't in the cards. I think I may have missed out! Although knowing me the entire dating process would've likely made me a nervous wreck, so maybe it was for the best. ;)

[louielouie2000]

I've always been told I'm more like a lesbian than a gay man. :lol: I tend to jump between "marriages" vs dating/hooking up. I don't like the bar scene... I prefer outdoorsy stuff like hiking & swimming. I am not fashionable... give me home improvement projects instead. I've restored a few classic cars. Own a motorcycle. Currently drive a Subaru. :laugh:

Don't get me wrong, though. A Golden Girls marathon will completely hypnotize me. I love listening to vintage Madonna on road trips. And I guess that's about it. ;)

[Dex]

I've always been told I'm more like a lesbian than a gay man. :lol: I tend to jump between "marriages" vs dating/hooking up. I don't like the bar scene... I prefer outdoorsy stuff like hiking & swimming. I am not fashionable... give me home improvement projects instead. I've restored a few classic cars. Own a motorcycle. Currently drive a Subaru. :laugh:


I get that a lot too, although I have the DIY skills of a 5 year old girl. My inclination to read/study and talk about things rather than go out partying gets me the "lesbian" label quite a bit.

I know it's wreckless stereotyping and we should all be ashamed of ourselves for being so simplistically minded, but... well... Stereotypes are fun, aren't they? Is it ok to admit that? I get a kick out of them. ;) We're all much more complicated than that, obviously, but I laugh at the jokes.

[markolas]

I think I come off as more masculine than I'd like, so I make up for it by having as many stereotypically gay interests as possible. Well, stereotypically gay interests for a 75-year old, anyway.

[Dex]

Do you think straight men worry about having too many "stereotypically straight" interests? Like, ever? I would say rarely, but the notion kind of tickles me.

[markolas]

Stereotypes always have a little bit of truth in them.

I prefer to celebrate them (the ones that aren't vile and disgusting) as an antidote to shame, that is still much more pervasive in our community than it should be.

I've never seen Looking. I recently re-watched QAF and was struck by how dated it seemed, and it's been off the air less than a decade. Nearly as dated as The Boys in the Band, although there are aspects of both that are still relevant.

[Dex]

Stereotypes always have a little bit of truth in them.

I prefer to celebrate them (the ones that aren't vile and disgusting) as an antidote to shame, that is still much more pervasive in our community than it should be.

I've never seen Looking. I recently re-watched QAF and was struck by how dated it seemed, and it's been off the air less than a decade. Nearly as dated as The Boys in the Band, although there are aspects of both that are still relevant.

I had a friend come and stay with me for a week this month, I hadn't seen him in at about 8 months, and he's definitely internalised a lot of stereotype-shame since the last time I saw him. He works out obsessively, hates his "gay voice", has become obsessed with "social standing" and getting ahead at work, and is just visibly uncomfortable with himself which has led him to become bitter. It's all very incongruous with the sweeter-than-sweet nice-to-everybody super-relaxed guy I used to know, although that guy's still in the mix. Just a bit sad to see. It's like he's going through a second adolescence in his late 20s, now that he has a disposable income and a place of his own and so can be a more "active" gay guy for the first time. I wonder how common that is among our folk.

See Looking, markolas. I found it wonderful.

And yes, QAF has certainly not aged well, but is still "important" in its way.

[sorcerer999]

:wavey: AbsoLUTEly queer!!!

I'm also on the more masculine end of the spectrum as far as how I dress, talk, etc. but that's about it.

My interests/hobbies tend to "single me out" as the "gay one" with my group of friends in regards to things like my psycho obsession for Stevie, Dolly, Kate Bush, Roxy Music and the Scissor Sisters...not to mention being the only guy in my adult contemporary dance class, and having a DVD collection where 90% star strong fab female characters.

My other stereotype is that I'm in the gym every morning 5 days a week. I guess I'm vain in that way.

I don't really participate in the "gay scene" here in Nashville. It's kind of pathetic, to be honest. I don't do the bars or clubs. I guess my idea of a fun Friday or Saturday night would be hanging out at home with my puppy and a couple of close friends, sharing bottle of wine, listening to music and talking smack about people. :laugh:

Now that I think of it, this is probably why I haven't been on a date or gotten laid in almost a year. :distress:

[markolas]

Am I the only person who's like this? I close myself off (not consciously) to straight people in real life and only actively pursue friendships with other gay people. I think part of the reason is that where I grew up, I felt so isolated - I was the only gay person I knew. After I moved to Austin, I guess I decided that I'd never be in that position again. Perhaps I ended up overcompensating.

I've only started thinking about this lately, although I've been doing it for years and years. I don't think there's anything wrong with, I just think it's interesting.

[louielouie2000]

Am I the only person who's like this? I close myself off (not consciously) to straight people in real life and only actively pursue friendships with other gay people. I think part of the reason is that where I grew up, I felt so isolated - I was the only gay person I knew. After I moved to Austin, I guess I decided that I'd never be in that position again. Perhaps I ended up overcompensating.

I've only started thinking about this lately, although I've been doing it for years and years. I don't think there's anything wrong with, I just think it's interesting.

I'm pretty much the opposite. Now that I'm in my 30s nearly all of my friends are straight. These days I relate to straight people better (unless they have kids), and the friendships are just easier. There's always either sexual tension or competition amongst gay men. When I was in my 20s I loved that part of the game. Nowadays I can't be bothered.

[TrueFaith77]

Here are the 21 Best Gay Films of the 21st Century:

https://rateyourmusic.com/list/johndemetry/21_best_gay_films_of_the_21st_century/


21 Best Gay Films of the 21st Century
1. Raging Sun, Raging Sky (Julian Hernandez, 2009)
2. Broken Sky (Julian Hernandez, 2006)
3. The Witnesses (Andre Techine, 2008)
4. I Am Happiness on Earth (Julian Hernandez, 2014)
5. Son frere (Patrice Chereau, 2004)
6. Unforgivable (Andre Techine, 2012)
7. A Thousand Clouds of Peace (Julian Hernandez, 2004)
8. Yossi (Eytan Fox, 2013)
9. Three Dancing Slaves (Gael Morel, 2005)
10. My Life On Ice (Olivier Ducastel & Jacques Martineau, 2003)
11. Infamous (Douglas McGrath, 2006)
12. Garcon stupide (Lionel Baier, 2005)
13. Time To Leave (Francois Ozon, 2006)
14. Changing Times (Andre Techine, 2005)
15. The Skinny (Patrik-Ian Polk, 2012)
16. Porn Theater (Jacques Nolot, 2003)
17. The Adventures of Felix (Olivier Ducastel & Jacques Martineau, 2001)
18. Bear Cub (Miguel Albaladejo, 2004)
19. I Love You Philip Morris (Glenn Ficcarra & John Requa, 2010)
20. Our Paradise (Gael Morel, 2013)
21. Of Time and the City (Terence Davies, 2009)

[sorcerer999]

Here are the 21 Best Gay Films of the 21st Century:

https://rateyourmusic.com/list/johndemetry/21_best_gay_films_of_the_21st_century/


21 Best Gay Films of the 21st Century
1. Raging Sun, Raging Sky (Julian Hernandez, 2009)
2. Broken Sky (Julian Hernandez, 2006)
3. The Witnesses (Andre Techine, 2008)
4. I Am Happiness on Earth (Julian Hernandez, 2014)
5. Son frere (Patrice Chereau, 2004)
6. Unforgivable (Andre Techine, 2012)
7. A Thousand Clouds of Peace (Julian Hernandez, 2004)
8. Yossi (Eytan Fox, 2013)
9. Three Dancing Slaves (Gael Morel, 2005)
10. My Life On Ice (Olivier Ducastel & Jacques Martineau, 2003)
11. Infamous (Douglas McGrath, 2006)
12. Garcon stupide (Lionel Baier, 2005)
13. Time To Leave (Francois Ozon, 2006)
14. Changing Times (Andre Techine, 2005)
15. The Skinny (Patrik-Ian Polk, 2012)
16. Porn Theater (Jacques Nolot, 2003)
17. The Adventures of Felix (Olivier Ducastel & Jacques Martineau, 2001)
18. Bear Cub (Miguel Albaladejo, 2004)
19. I Love You Philip Morris (Glenn Ficcarra & John Requa, 2010)
20. Our Paradise (Gael Morel, 2013)
21. Of Time and the City (Terence Davies, 2009)

In my opinion, 90% of gay themed films are atrocious. There was an episode of "Will & Grace" where both Will and Jack are helping Karen's nerdy cousin come out of the closet. I do believe one of them says, "Let me tell you a little secret that we try to keep within the community. Gay movies suck but until the laws change we're still obligated to go see 'em."

I must be a bad gay man because I've only seen one film on this list. :/

[louielouie2000]

In my opinion, 90% of gay themed films are atrocious. There was an episode of "Will & Grace" where both Will and Jack are helping Karen's nerdy cousin come out of the closet. I do believe one of them says, "Let me tell you a little secret that we try to keep within the community. Gay movies suck but until the laws change we're still obligated to go see 'em."

I must be a bad gay man because I've only seen one film on this list. :/

I've only seen Infamous, so we're in the same boat. Gay movies are generally dreadful.

[sorcerer999]

I've only seen "I Love You, Phillip Morris", which was actually pretty freakin' amazing and funny! :nod:

[TrueFaith77]

In my opinion, 90% of gay themed films are atrocious. There was an episode of "Will & Grace" where both Will and Jack are helping Karen's nerdy cousin come out of the closet. I do believe one of them says, "Let me tell you a little secret that we try to keep within the community. Gay movies suck but until the laws change we're still obligated to go see 'em."

I must be a bad gay man because I've only seen one film on this list. :/

I've only seen Infamous, so we're in the same boat. Gay movies are generally dreadful.

That's cuz y'all haven't seen the movies on my list.

Check 'em out! Much pleasure ahead!

[markolas]

I have no interest in being the token gay in a group. With straight guys, it's just awkward. I have exactly one straight guy friend, and he is unusually feminist and gay-positive; also, he his main interests do not include sports and cars. And I'd get very annoyed very quickly with anything resembling a fag hag.

Yes, most gay-themed movies are terrible, but I watch then anyway (or at least try...there have more than a few that I've turned off in the first five minutes). Looking at a sea of straight people on the screen gets old after a while.

If this town had a gayborhood, I'd never leave it.

[markolas]

I've only seen "I Love You, Phillip Morris", which was actually pretty freakin' amazing and funny! :nod:

That's the only movie on the list I've even heard of. I'll investigate the others, though.

[TrueFaith77]

I have no interest in being the token gay in a group. With straight guys, it's just awkward. I have exactly one straight guy friend, and he is unusually feminist and gay-positive; also, he his main interests do not include sports and cars. And I'd get very annoyed very quickly with anything resembling a fag hag.

Yes, most gay-themed movies are terrible, but I watch then anyway (or at least try...there have more than a few that I've turned off in the first five minutes). Looking at a sea of straight people on the screen gets old after a while.

If this town had a gayborhood, I'd never leave it.

I once told my best friend: "I don't like gay people." His response: "You don't like anyone." alas.

[Artemis]

Date was a complete disaster, it's amazing how someone can be so charming over messages and then have the personality of a cardboard cut-out in person. So disappointing. Thankfully he realized that there was "no spark" so... don't have to go there again.

I only have two gay friends, a couple about 12 years older than me, but things aren't always entirely platonic. The majority of my friends are straight lasses, but I have a couple of straight guy friends too. I just don't tend to get along with other gay guys in a social standing. We always end up just... not getting along.

[markolas]

I don't understand sisters not wanting to be around sisters. At all.

[TrueFaith77]

I don't understand sisters not wanting to be around sisters. At all.

Well I was kind of humorously saying I don't want to be around anyone. But I seek out people with whom I have things in common, some shared sensibility or ideal or interest. Some of those people are gay and some are straight men and some are straight women. But I find in a crowd of gay people that I have almost nothing in common with them. I feel the same way in most crowds.

[Dex]

I used to actively pursue friends mainly with gay people. I used to find that with straight people, my gayness always ended up being "a thing", for better or for worse, and that was annoying as you've said, markolas. That seems to have changed a lot over the past few years, and I'm not sure if it's just that I'm older and the people I'm around are more experienced and used to things, or if people are simply different in the place I now live, but I really mainly have straight friends these days. Not by design or anything, that just seems to be how it's panned out.

Sorry about your date, Artemis. :( People are different in messages than in person, and it's something I wonder about regarding how it affects modern dating, which seems to begin with social media more often than not.

[sorcerer999]

I have no interest in being the token gay in a group. With straight guys, it's just awkward. I have exactly one straight guy friend, and he is unusually feminist and gay-positive; also, he his main interests do not include sports and cars.

Even though I'm usually the "token gay", I have surrounded myself with a fine set of the BEST straight guy friends. Like your friend, Markolas, they are all extremely gay friendly, artsy, nerdy, talented, intelligent and attractive...and not interested in sports whatsoever. They're all music buffs like myself. I couldn't have asked for a better group of buds.

On the other side, I have about 3 extremely close gay friends, but interestingly enough, all three friendships started after I had slept with all of them. Funny how that happens. It's like being sexually intimate brought as closer together to realize we should just be friends and nothing more.

I've got both straight AND gay girlfriends out the wazzoo!!! I've always felt more comfortable hanging with the girls, as most gay men do, in my experience.

[sorcerer999]

Date was a complete disaster, it's amazing how someone can be so charming over messages and then have the personality of a cardboard cut-out in person. So disappointing. Thankfully he realized that there was "no spark" so... don't have to go there again.

Sorry to hear. Have a laugh on me...here is a little blog entry about the six months I spent trying out "OKCupid" a couple of years ago and being sooooo very disappointed with each boy's "real appearance and personality" versus the personality they projected on their profile. I'm very wary of dating sites now, because of this.

Hope you guys like it. I tried to use humor to quell the horror!

http://learningtobeastranger.blogspot.com/2011/07/okay-cupid-your-aim-was-waaaaaayyy-off.html

[Dex]

Sorry to hear. Have a laugh on me...here is a little blog entry about the six months I spent trying out "OKCupid" a couple of years ago and being sooooo very disappointed with each boy's "real appearance and personality" versus the personality they projected on their profile. I'm very wary of dating sites now, because of this.

Hope you guys like it. I tried to use humor to quell the horror!

http://learningtobeastranger.blogspot.com/2011/07/okay-cupid-your-aim-was-waaaaaayyy-off.html

Horrifyingly cringey but quite entertaining. I lost it at the blue teeth. Thanks for sharing :)

[KarmaContestant]

Never really saw a 'gay movie' I liked. Just not my thing. That said - I'm not a huge fan of movies in general, and a story has to be incredibly unusual or interesting for me to want to sit still long enough to watch it. Besides, I think my own life is more interesting. :p I don't have time to sit around vicariously living someone else's life.

My husband was watching Looking for a bit. Not sure if he stopped, or if he's in between seasons - I don't know. He's a TV junkie. I'm not. I sat through one episode and found it totally sterotypical. Guy wants to bang sexy foreign boss with an accent, but is bothered that said boss is in a relationship, yet continues to throw hints and innuendos. Then they do it anyway. :shrug:

No offense intended to fans of Looking or of 'gay movies'. :xoxo:

I am 40, and have been with my husband since 2005. I think he's 'the one'. :laugh: I was never much of a dater, though I have always enjoyed going out and meeting people. I can be the loner or the life of the party, and often swing back and forth between the two, probably dependent upon the moon or Mercury. I'm more the love-at-first-sight guy. Yes, I believe in fate and destiny - with options and intersections - and of course, karma. To quote Madonna - "future lovers hide love inside their eyes". Totally.

I love bars and clubs, as long as they aren't douchey. When I was 18, in 1992, there was no social media - no dating sites - no hookup apps - very few cell phones. If you wanted to meet guys you went out and met them in person. :laugh: I sound like an old man, but that's ok. There was no being tricked by creative profile pictures. What you saw standing in front of you was pretty much what you got, minus the morning breath and bed-head.

I used to be vain beyond compare. Then...my hairline started creeping back, and the whole hipster thing came along, and I said 'fu*k it'. I don't know what it's like where all of you live, but in Denver, the gays and the hipsters are indistinguishabel from each other, and while skinny jeans, a beard, and orange sneakers with a green plaid shirt might look great on *that* guy, it's just not my thing.

These days, I've got too much to do and there is very little time for getting all pimped out and being a barfly. Home-ownership, gardening (my favorite hobby), hiking, camping, three cats and one dog, a husband who, even at age 35, couldn't find his way out of a paper bag, and of course - work. There's barely time to read a book, anymore. Sometimes I detest my own maturity and attention to responsibility, but I never miss the naivety (idiocy) of youth. On the few occasions I do watch TV, I'm a bit obsessed with ID (Investigation Discovery) and frankly, I'm lucky to be alive in retrospect. I look back at the fun, but totally stupid and irresponsible things I did as a younger man - I was totally naive and far too trusting - and I feel lucky to have emerged unscathed...except for being HIV+, which ironically, I didn't get from promiscuity but from someone I loved, who I thought I could trust. Then again, I could be dismembered and buried in a field somewhere..so...um...yeah. Be careful, guys.

I've always had a varied assortment of friends. Gay, straight, men, women, old, young - I have friends in their 60's and friends that aren't even old enough to drink yet. I like being the wise one, but I also like having wisdom handed down to me. The last thing I want is a circle of people just like me as friends. Boring.!

I'm definitely the Dorothy of my social circles, though. :laugh:

[sorcerer999]

I used to be vain beyond compare. Then...my hairline started creeping back, and the whole hipster thing came along, and I said 'fu*k it'.

:laugh: You and me BOTH, my friend!

[TheWILDheart]

Date was a complete disaster, it's amazing how someone can be so charming over messages and then have the personality of a cardboard cut-out in person. So disappointing. Thankfully he realized that there was "no spark" so... don't have to go there again.

I only have two gay friends, a couple about 12 years older than me, but things aren't always entirely platonic. The majority of my friends are straight lasses, but I have a couple of straight guy friends too. I just don't tend to get along with other gay guys in a social standing. We always end up just... not getting along.

Urgh, that sucks!!
The worst date I ever had was with a guy I had been chatting to for quite a while. Months, even. He was very charming and very dashing. He lived a few towns away, but not far. One day, he text to say he was in my town and could he call in and say hi, just to break the ice. "Why not", I thought. So he turned up and I got t'kettle on (being in t'north and all). He WAS charming and dashing. But he had the worst BO I have ever smelt on another person. It was AWFUL. It was so bad, I had to put the cushion covers from the sofa in the washing machine where he'd been sat just to shift the smell.

Thankfully, that was 5 years ago now and happy to report I finally found my prince charming. We've been together for a year and we moved in together in May - 2 homo's and a cat called Gypsy. Puurrrfect.

The only gay movie I've ever seen was "Beautiful Thing". Oh, and "Prick Up Your Ears", but that's not really a "gay movie". I do love the original british "Queer As Folk" series though. That was really the first time that the UK gay scene had been shown for exactly what it was at the time - filthy, dirty, sorded, cheap...but fabulous. It was so amazingly accurate and real.

[Artemis]

That was really the first time that the UK gay scene had been shown for exactly what it was at the time - filthy, dirty, sorded, cheap...but fabulous. It was so amazingly accurate and real.

And that's precisely why I loathe the gay scene, I don't know if it's just my little town (Middlesbrough) but like, everyone knows everyone else, everyone has slept with everyone else. It's repulsive.

[TheWILDheart]

And that's precisely why I loathe the gay scene, I don't know if it's just my little town (Middlesbrough) but like, everyone knows everyone else, everyone has slept with everyone else. It's repulsive.

Oooooooh you're from t'Boro. Not too far from me, I live about half an hour north of Leeds, not far from Skipton.

I've found that the bigger the scene, the worse it is. The gay scene in Bradford, for example, is a hoot. So fun and relaxed. Oh sure, there is an element of filth behind it, but it's not that noticeable. The gay scene in Leeds, however, is absolutely awful and you couldn't pay me to hit the Leeds scene.

[Artemis]

Oooooooh you're from t'Boro. Not too far from me, I live about half an hour north of Leeds, not far from Skipton.

Oh cool. I actually have to drive to Leeds Trinity Uni in a couple of hours (PGCE Open Evening thingie. Gonna scout for hotties)

One thing that annoys me about gays is their commitment issues. I was dating this one guy, who lived in Catterick (so about 50 minutes drive away) and he was all "I don't want us getting too close to each other, distance etc" so I was all "Fairdoos" but then, when I'd posted something about having sex on the beach while in Gran Canaria (NOT recommended, I think I ruined a perfectly good pair of shorts) he hit the ROOF. It's like, you can't have your cake and eat it to. You either want me, or you don't. Make up your mind! Can't stand the whole "I don't want you, but don't want anyone else to have you"

Unless this is just me.

(LOVE this thread btw. Totally needed this rant! :laugh:)

[TheWILDheart]

Oh cool. I actually have to drive to Leeds Trinity Uni in a couple of hours (PGCE Open Evening thingie. Gonna scout for hotties)


Good luck! There are some hotties around Leeds, but equal amounts of nutters! Grindr, I presume?



One thing that annoys me about gays is their commitment issues. I was dating this one guy, who lived in Catterick (so about 50 minutes drive away) and he was all "I don't want us getting too close to each other, distance etc" so I was all "Fairdoos" but then, when I'd posted something about having sex on the beach while in Gran Canaria (NOT recommended, I think I ruined a perfectly good pair of shorts) he hit the ROOF. It's like, you can't have your cake and eat it to. You either want me, or you don't. Make up your mind! Can't stand the whole "I don't want you, but don't want anyone else to have you"

Unless this is just me.



Urgh, I know how that feels! Equally, I'm guilty of it myself though.

One thing I can't be doing with us overbearing boyfriends. My amazing man tends to leave me to my own devices. Sure, we do things together and go places together, but day to day, we're hardly even in the same room. We wake up together, we have dinner together and we go to bed together and everything inbetween is our own time really.

My ex was very overbearing. The whole relationship was about me. He wouldn't leave me alone and kept touching me. Everywhere we went. Like he was claiming me or something. Had to put a stop to that. Funilly enough, we're still friends and he's gone the complete oposite way with his current partner, who he largely ignores.

Myself and my other half seem to have found the balance between time together and time apart. And thank god, 'cause I need time to myself. Especially when the headphones are on. If I've got a new album to listen to, he knows to shush ;)

[TrueFaith77]

I do love the original british "Queer As Folk" series though. That was really the first time that the UK gay scene had been shown for exactly what it was at the time - filthy, dirty, sorded, cheap...but fabulous. It was so amazingly accurate and real.

The British QAF is the best tv show since Golden Girls. That and Oz.

[TheWILDheart]

The British QAF is the best tv show since Golden Girls. That and Oz.

That's the gayest thing that's been said so far :lol:

[sorcerer999]

Question to my fellow queer boys ~ Who are your celebrity man crushes? Actors, musicians, authors, reporters, reality stars, etc. Just curious. :D

[KarmaContestant]

Question to my fellow queer boys ~ Who are your celebrity man crushes? Actors, musicians, authors, reporters, reality stars, etc. Just curious. :D

James Franco. :]

OK, and Chris Martin. Totally wanna marry that guy.

[TrueFaith77]

Question to my fellow queer boys ~ Who are your celebrity man crushes? Actors, musicians, authors, reporters, reality stars, etc. Just curious. :D

GREAT question. My celebrity crushes change pretty frequently, so this is just as of today:

Movies: The cast of I Am Happiness on Earth (Hugo Catalan, Emilio von Sternenfels, Alan Ramírez, Gerardo Del Razo)
TV: Gregg Sulkin (PLL, Delirium)
Music: Alex Gardner (aka A-L-X)
Pundit: Marc Lamont Hill
Reality stars: Zach Nichols (The Challenge)

[Dex]

The British QAF is one that I completely appreciate as great and culturally important etc, but have no desire to really watch much myself. It's like the Joni Mitchell of television shows.

Celebrity crushes? These days I have kind of a massive thing for Simon Amstell, but I appreciate that most might think that's a bit odd.

http://i851.photobucket.com/albums/ab77/kiki-eng/N04-2.jpg

And, depending how loosely we're using the term celebrity, John Polly (right)

http://www.newnownext.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/600x500_Jujubee-John-Polly.jpg

[sorcerer999]

My future husbands (in random order) are...

1. Ewan McGregor (he will satiate my lust for red heads)
2. Del Marquis
3. Anderson Cooper (my silver daddy)
4. Rob McElhenney
5. Michael Fassbender (have ya'll seen what's between his legs?) :D
6. Fyfe Dangerfield

...and I'm sure a whole list of others that I can't think of at the moment. :laugh:

[markolas]

Question to my fellow queer boys ~ Who are your celebrity man crushes? Actors, musicians, authors, reporters, reality stars, etc. Just curious. :D

Chris Meloni, for a long time, but that has waned in recent years. I think Jon Hamm has replaced him (although he doesn't quite have the same amount of raw sex appeal). I'd almost say Stephen Amell from Arrow, but he's a little too pretty. Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka are both adorable. Zachary Quinto.

[markolas]

I do not get the appeal of James Franco at all. He always looks like he hasn't bathed in weeks. I wish he'd go away, along with Gwyneth Paltrow.

[TrueFaith77]

I do not get the appeal of James Franco at all. He always looks like he hasn't bathed in weeks. I wish he'd go away, along with Gwyneth Paltrow.

David Franco on the other hand...

[Johnny Stew]

Question to my fellow queer boys ~ Who are your celebrity man crushes?

Ben Cohen. Woof.

http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/_bRSOBn7tBVaDzp6xTSIYw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Y2g9NDIwO2NyPTE7Y3c9NjQwO2R4PTA7ZHk9MDtmaT11bGNyb3A7aD00MTQ7cT04NTt3PTYzMA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/tv/2013-08-19/a8872a26-6958-4466-aa5e-d1cf180cf7b1_rugby-strictly-ben-cohen.jpg

[KarmaContestant]

I do not get the appeal of James Franco at all. He always looks like he hasn't bathed in weeks. I wish he'd go away, along with Gwyneth Paltrow.


He does need to shave. He doesn't *always* look like he hasn't bathed in weeks.

http://www.urbansplatter.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/franco-1.jpg

[KarmaContestant]

David Franco on the other hand...

David is pretty, but lacks the charisma and charm of his brother. Charisma is sexy. :nod:

[KarmaContestant]

"Especially in women's and gay men's culture, it's all about how you have to look a certain way"


<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/BBGh50eVm-8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[TheWILDheart]

Ben Cohen. Woof.

http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/_bRSOBn7tBVaDzp6xTSIYw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Y2g9NDIwO2NyPTE7Y3c9NjQwO2R4PTA7ZHk9MDtmaT11bGNyb3A7aD00MTQ7cT04NTt3PTYzMA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/tv/2013-08-19/a8872a26-6958-4466-aa5e-d1cf180cf7b1_rugby-strictly-ben-cohen.jpg

Agreed. Ben is the only man I'm allowed to cheat on my partner with :P

[TrueFaith77]

I wish I had been alive in the 50s. Sal Mineo is my true love.

[Dex]

I wish I had been alive in the 50s. Sal Mineo is my true love.

!!!!!!!!!

I wanted him so bad when I watched Rebel. To the point where it's possible I missed the actual point of the film.

However, it would've been illegal to actually bum him in that era anyway, so being around back then would've been largely pointless. I'll just keep it to the privacy of my own mind.

[becca]

I could be a gay man in a female body, who knows? Somehow I'm thinking Stevie Nicks may have said this at some point. I'm actually pretty tired of the dorks who say they are lesbians in male bodies though.

My appreciation for tawny chest fur is said to fall into the 'bear' subcultural frame. Let's hear it for the young Robert Redford or at least Dan Haggerty! Would you believe Kenny Rogers? Dirk Benedict? Oh gosh, I am so old. My bf is furry enough for me (not that he'd be reading here). :laugh:

[TrueFaith77]

!!!!!!!!!

I wanted him so bad when I watched Rebel. To the point where it's possible I missed the actual point of the film.

However, it would've been illegal to actually bum him in that era anyway, so being around back then would've been largely pointless. I'll just keep it to the privacy of my own mind.

Illegal? Not in Hollywood...

[sorcerer999]

So what other questions can we ask each other to keep this thread going? The celeb crush question didn't seem to go very far. :/

[vivfox]

I don't have crushes on any male celebs. But I have a ton of crushes on Str8 guys that are not famous, but regular blokes in my sunny world.

[Japhry]

So what other questions can we ask each other to keep this thread going? The celeb crush question didn't seem to go very far. :/

I find men in the real world to usually be more attractive than celebrities. With that being said I tend to lean toward the masculine side. Besides The Mac and Stevie-I enjoy quite a lot of other musicians and types of music as well. I am an outdoorsy type who enjoys hiking, the beach and camping vs. a bar any day of the week. I also like board games, (especially scrabble), movies (especially documentaries), reading...etc.

[Autumn Ocean]

Alexander Skarsgard
Timothy Olyphant

My late additions to the celebs.

[KarmaContestant]

Any gay-married Ledgies?

It's not legal yet in Colorado, though the same-gender marriage ban has been struck down by the courts, and both Denver and Boulder County Clerks are issuing marriage licences anyway. Funny thing - the State Attorney General ordered the Boulder clerk to cease and desist and she said "F-you" and then the Denver clerk started to issue them, too.

I've had many friends get married in the last couple weeks. I have not, because my partner and I are not revolutionaries and are just waiting until it's real and legal. We've been together almost 9 years. We've had a wedding. We're pretty much married anyway, but once it's really real, we're going to do it again.

[Dex]

I've been happily "Civil Union'd" (civilly united?) for over a year now. This year, the UK did legalize "proper" same-sex marriage, and apparently they are devising a way for those of us in civil partnerships to upgrade (for want of a better word) to marriage. It's all a bit unprecedented so I'm not sure how on the ball they are with it or what it will entail. In the meantime though, I can't tell the difference. And although I'm philosophically opposed to having a separate category that "isn't marriage" for gay couples, for my personal purposes the Civil Partnership does everything I need it to.

Gee I sound romantic, don't I? :laugh:

Best wishes to you when your time to get married comes, KC. :)

[KarmaContestant]

I've been happily "Civil Union'd" (civilly united?) for over a year now. This year, the UK did legalize "proper" same-sex marriage, and apparently they are devising a way for those of us in civil partnerships to upgrade (for want of a better word) to marriage. It's all a bit unprecedented so I'm not sure how on the ball they are with it or what it will entail. In the meantime though, I can't tell the difference. And although I'm philosophically opposed to having a separate category that "isn't marriage" for gay couples, for my personal purposes the Civil Partnership does everything I need it to.

Gee I sound romantic, don't I? :laugh:

Best wishes to you when your time to get married comes, KC. :)

I'm with you on the separate-but-equal thing. Colorado has civil unions, but I refuse to participate because civil unions are a complete and total sham here in the U.S., well, at least they were until earlier this year when the U.S. Attorney general announced that the IRS and Federal Govt. would treat civil unions as 'regular' marriage for gay couples and allow them to file taxes as married couples.

But still, no civil union for me. My partner wanted to do it on the day they started, but I'm glad he understood my position on the issue. I'm not drinking out of the segregated water fountain, so to speak.

[sorcerer999]

I thoroughly support gay marriage, but I have no desire to get "gay married". Don't get me wrong, though. I'm ecstatic for each and everyone of my gay friends who are legally married, but it's just not my thing. Marriage, whether hetero or homo, just turns me off. It's an antiquated custom.

I think anyone who is in a serious long term relationship, and living with their significant other (contributing to the household, the upbringing of children, etc.) should receive the same benefits and privileges as married couples. Just my opinion.

Then again, maybe it's because I've been in three unsuccessful long term relationships that makes me so cynical. :shrug:

[markolas]

Not married, but would like to be.

[becca]

... it's just not my thing. Marriage, whether hetero or homo, just turns me off. It's an antiquated custom.


That's generally how I've felt so far. It sort of surprised me to find myself involved in the fight for 'allowing' same sex marriages but I was involved in a broader human rights activism. In a way it's the same situation as with orientation in that what feels right to one person is different for another in these personal areas. I really seemed to get through to some religious traditionalists by always remembering to tell them that they are right when they say such and such is wrong... wrong for them, and they should listen to others when they are saying something is wrong (or right) for them in the exact same way. I can certainly (begin to) understand something of the bad feelings many have toward the religious however. Like the variety of gender expressions and orientations though I don't think they're going away any time soon. :angel:

For all we know, gay monogamous couples may have been around since before any organized religions performed marriage rites over which to feel proprietary. The ancient Spartan Greeks for example. Marriage is a descriptive word rather than the copyrightable or trade-markable invention some seem to claim. As a society we simply need to recognize this, and if we are going to recognize only some that is illogical.

Now back to thinking about golden looping chest hair glistening in the sun... or maybe moonlight? :o

[louielouie2000]

I find men in the real world to usually be more attractive than celebrities. With that being said I tend to lean toward the masculine side. Besides The Mac and Stevie-I enjoy quite a lot of other musicians and types of music as well. I am an outdoorsy type who enjoys hiking, the beach and camping vs. a bar any day of the week. I also like board games, (especially scrabble), movies (especially documentaries), reading...etc.

I agree with every bit of this. Random people on the TV/computer screen don't do much for me. My current undying crush is a guy who works at my favorite weekday lunch spot. :p

And take me hiking & swimming or spend a night in with friends any day over going to a bar. :)

I thoroughly support gay marriage, but I have no desire to get "gay married". Don't get me wrong, though. I'm ecstatic for each and everyone of my gay friends who are legally married, but it's just not my thing. Marriage, whether hetero or homo, just turns me off. It's an antiquated custom.

I think anyone who is in a serious long term relationship, and living with their significant other (contributing to the household, the upbringing of children, etc.) should receive the same benefits and privileges as married couples. Just my opinion.

Then again, maybe it's because I've been in three unsuccessful long term relationships that makes me so cynical. :shrug:

+1. I have no interest in marriage, either... I think I'm just too damned pagan. However, I truly do believe in the marriage equality cause, though. Our governments have no business legislating morality & religion, and all citizens deserve equal rights & protections under their laws.

[TrueFaith77]

Morrissey has a new song on the topic which must be considered definitive: "Kick the Bride Down the Aisle" -- the man is a genius.

[KarmaContestant]

I. My current undying crush is a guy who works at my favorite weekday lunch spot. :p


Me too - He's a Chipotle cashier. :laugh:

[sorcerer999]

Me too - He's a Chipotle cashier. :laugh:

Mine is an early thirties, hipster graphic designer who rides his bike everywhere and has a locker right next to mine at the gym. Sigh. He doesn't even know I exist...

[Dex]

To me marriage is about the creation of a family. Not in the have-babies sense, but, you know, my husband is my family. And he's as close to and as bound to me as my mother or my twin sister. Marriage was a step I took to make that level of connectedness "realer" in both the legal and social sense. I don't consider it an outdated custom because to me it's a very accurate representation of my life and the choices I've made thus far. It's not about the ceremony of it (didn't have one) or the "benefits", really, I mean, I know it's nice that I could visit my husband if he fell into a coma or whatever, but I'm not counting on that actually happening. It's just about saying "this person is my family" and having everyone agree by default. But I understand the other perspective, because I definitely never thought I'd do it myself. It's just that after a certain point in my relationship it ended up being the only thing that made sense to do.

I totally appreciate the idea that anyone in a serious live-in LTR should receive the same benefits and privileges as married couples. But practically speaking I think that's sort of difficult to achieve. "Commited-ness" is pretty hard to quantify without some sort of active declaration becoming involved.

[KarmaContestant]

To me marriage is about the creation of a family. Not in the have-babies sense, but, you know, my husband is my family. And he's as close to and as bound to me as my mother or my twin sister. Marriage was a step I took to make that level of connectedness "realer" in both the legal and social sense. I don't consider it an outdated custom because to me it's a very accurate representation of my life and the choices I've made thus far. It's not about the ceremony of it (didn't have one) or the "benefits", really, I mean, I know it's nice that I could visit my husband if he fell into a coma or whatever, but I'm not counting on that actually happening. It's just about saying "this person is my family" and having everyone agree by default. But I understand the other perspective, because I definitely never thought I'd do it myself. It's just that after a certain point in my relationship it ended up being the only thing that made sense to do.


BAM. You nailed it. Spot on.

[Dex]

On a less-serious note. I've come to realize that I really only follow Jack Mackenroth on twitter because he sometimes posts pictures of his ass. I find that all his posts related to charity work etc I just kind of scroll past. It seems to be ass or bust.

Am I just completely awful? I so want to be interested in people's charity fundraising. But, like... Ass, though.

[RavenOfRhiannon]

but here I am, none the less.
Loved the first few seasons of QAF, but lost interest somewhere between Seasons 3 & 4
Haven't seen 'Looking' but I tend to binge watch after a show has aired.
My Guilty Pleasure crush is Tom Daley, but I also have this very distracting crush on author Michael Chabon, a specific picture of him just does me in (in fact, I just had a dream last night that I was cuddling with him)
My partner and I have been together for 22 years. I'm 41, he's 50, but being in Texas, no we aren't married (yet).
Did the bar scene in my 20's and 30's, but don't really like to now. Have a great number of gay friends here, which I count as a blessing.
Have I caught up?

[sorcerer999]

Am I just completely awful?

Yes. Yes you are. ;)

I so want to be interested in people's charity fundraising. But, like... Ass, though.

:laugh: Sounds like your dirty mind and my dirty mind should get together and go bowling. :xoxo:

[sorcerer999]

(Fashionably) Late to the Party...but here I am, none the less.


Welcome, welcome!!!

[TheWILDheart]

Loved the first few seasons of QAF, but lost interest somewhere between Seasons 3 & 4


You should totally check out the original British series. It was just 1 series and 2 45 minute specials, but it was brilliant. A lot less far-fetched than the US series got. Except for the ending, which was a bit of a let down.

[TrueFaith77]

You should totally check out the original British series. It was just 1 series and 2 45 minute specials, but it was brilliant. A lot less far-fetched than the US series got. Except for the ending, which was a bit of a let down.

Read my review where I explain the profound significance of the ending in my book Serpents and Doves (link below). GREAT show. (the british version. the american version was, as the brits would say, ****e)

[TrueFaith77]

Great works of art about gay marriage:

1. "Kick the Bride Down the Aisle" by Morrissey
2. I Am Happiness on Earth by Julian Hernandez
3. 5x2 by Francois Ozon
4. Noah's Arc: Jumping the Broom by Patrik Ian-Polk

[WatchChain]

In my opinion, 90% of gay themed films are atrocious. There was an episode of "Will & Grace" where both Will and Jack are helping Karen's nerdy cousin come out of the closet. I do believe one of them says, "Let me tell you a little secret that we try to keep within the community. Gay movies suck but until the laws change we're still obligated to go see 'em."

I must be a bad gay man because I've only seen one film on this list. :/

I'm a little late to the party on this topic, but I agree with with this comment. Can someone in Hollywood please make a decent gay film? I find very few that I'm able to sit through. Bad scripts, bad acting, and weak plots are just a few things that make most gay films tank for me. Don't get me wrong, there are a few gay films worth the price of admission, but 90% of them are laughable. :xoxo:

[TrueFaith77]

I'm a little late to the party on this topic, but I agree with with this comment. Can someone in Hollywood please make a decent gay film? I find very few that I'm able to sit through. Bad scripts, bad acting, and weak plots are just a few things that make most gay films tank for me. Don't get me wrong, there are a few gay films worth the price of admission, but 90% of them are laughable. :xoxo:

Did you miss my list of 21 Best Gay Films of the 21st Century? Of course most of them are NOT Hollywood.

The greatest gay movie of all time is THE LONG DAY CLOSES. Finally, recently released on Criterion. Don't miss it!

[pattyfan]

I have a few ideas for good gay movies.

My favorite is called "Undertow" in English. (Contracorriente in Spanish). It's from Peru and is truly an unforgettable movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gm1-tDY-esU

I just saw The Way He Looks (from Brazil). It won the audience award at the GLBT film festival this summer in SF. It was amazing. Sweet, realistic, not overblown, and thought provoking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBsJ63fo7q4

I also really liked Shelter for the same reasons.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFw5oUmlYtA

I think that for the most part, Hollywood movies get made by group and consensus and tend to be, well, pretty crappy. Technically well made, but false, facile, and totally not interesting.

Of course, some other Hollywood movies with gay themes that I did like were My Beautiful Launderette and Maurice. My two cents :)

Kevin

[TrueFaith77]

I'm intrigued to see The Way He Looks.

It's playing at the New York GayGay Film Fest. I got tix for I Am Happiness on Earth (second best movie of the year), Cupcakes, and Blackbird.

[pattyfan]

Let me know what you think about The Way He Looks. Also, the same director made a short movie, which is similar but not the same, with the same actors, which is in youtube.

Enjoy :)

Kevin

[Dex]

OK, update. I watched series 1 of the original Queer as Folk last night and, to my surprise, actually did love it. Guess I've finally grown into it. Good one, Russel T Davies.

Can we also talk about Angels in America? I've never seen it live, but the HBO miniseries is ****ing legendary to me. I watch it and am just in awe. That dialogue! There's just so much to sink my teeth into.

I don't think it's entirely fair to dismiss gay-male films as largely crap. It's a fairly niche genre, let's face it, so money and resources are going to be allocated elsewhere much of the time, and when they're not, it makes sense that filmmakers would opt for a lot of lowest-common-denominator stuff that they're sure will bring in more viewers. Try and be easy on them! They're up against a lot. But it's true, all the gems of gay cinema are solidly in indie-film territory where commercial interest was clearly not a priority.

Did anyone else like Weekend? I know it's supposed to be overrated as all hell, but, it just hit home with me. Loved it to bits.

[TrueFaith77]

OK, update. I watched series 1 of the original Queer as Folk last night and, to my surprise, actually did love it. Guess I've finally grown into it. Good one, Russel T Davies.

Yay!! Read my review in my book Serpents and Doves (link below).

Can we also talk about Angels in America? I've never seen it live, but the HBO miniseries is ****ing legendary to me. I watch it and am just in awe. That dialogue! There's just so much to sink my teeth into.

I've read the play--which I had admired but its Brechtian conceit is, now, dated. I've seen the play--which was an exciting experience for me in early college. I've seen the movie--which I think is an abomination. Angels in America--in all its iterations--pales compared to Those Who Love Me Can Take the Train and The Witnesses--the greatest movies ever made about the AIDS era but also timeless works of art.

I don't think it's entirely fair to dismiss gay-male films as largely crap. It's a fairly niche genre, let's face it, so money and resources are going to be allocated elsewhere much of the time, and when they're not, it makes sense that filmmakers would opt for a lot of lowest-common-denominator stuff that they're sure will bring in more viewers. Try and be easy on them! They're up against a lot. But it's true, all the gems of gay cinema are solidly in indie-film territory where commercial interest was clearly not a priority.

I don't cut anyone slack. Fact is: most American indie films suck. That said: Patrik Ian-Polk (Noah's Arc: Jumping the Broom, The Skinny, and Blackbird) and Gregg Araki (Nowhere, Kaboom, The Living End) may lack money and resources, but not inventiveness, authenticity, insight and cinematic skill--plus they are great with actors.

However, there are foreign "independent" movies that shame any Hollywood films for scope and vision. Terence Davies' The Long Day Closes reinvents cinema language through the sublime representaiton of the cultural, familial, and pop consciousness of a gay boy--an unforgettable vision and the greatest gay movie ever made. Patrice Chereau's Those Who Love Me Can Take the Train's Cinemascope vibrancy and Eisensteinian montage makes it an unparalleled modern movie experience--imagine a gay Big Chill that's as rich as Shakespeare. Andre Techine's Wild Reeds is the ultimate coming-of-age film, combining pop culture, sexual awakening and experimentation, and conflicting political allegiances. Wong Kar-Wai's lyrical Happy Together remains the definitive film about the ups-and-downs of a gay relationship--starring China's then-biggest stars Leslie Cheung (r.i.p. to this gay icon) and Tony Leung. Those are all among the very very best 90s films, while this century's gay cinema has been dominated by, of course, Chereau (r.i.p.) and Techine (always mighty) but also by new-kid-on-the-block Julian Hernandez whose trilogy (A Thousand Clouds of Peace, Broken Sky, and Raging, Sun Raging Sky) combines lush cinematography--the best lenser of performers sinces Ingmar Bergman!!!--and Mexican folk culture and pop lore to show how, in three distinct stories, gay desire, then heartbreak, then fulfillment can extend outward in gratuitous love for those outside the couplings. He's the best new filmmaker of the century.

As for Hollywood films. Don't forget that The Staircase was a major Hollywood production, directed by Stanley Donan (Singin' in the Rain) and starring Richard Burton and Rex Harrison at the peaks of their careers--both giving their very best performances ever.

Did anyone else like Weekend? I know it's supposed to be overrated as all hell, but, it just hit home with me. Loved it to bits.

Not my kind of movie. :laugh:

[Dex]

Not my kind of movie. :laugh:

Ha. And I hated Kaboom! I think there's actually little we ever agree on, TrueFaith. I kinda dig it. :laugh:

But then, I suppose it's a nice demonstration of why so many gay filmmakers in the west incline towards the cheapest, broadest appeal. It's safer. As a people we're diverse, but we know we all like nice bums and sex jokes.

Happy Together is quite snazballs too, though. I gotta say.

[TrueFaith77]

But then, I suppose it's a nice demonstration of why so many gay filmmakers in the west incline towards the cheapest, broadest appeal. It's safer. As a people we're diverse, but we know all like nice bums and sex jokes.

To what is this in reference?

[Dex]

I have a new co-worker who is apparently a lesbian. This seemed to excite someone else at work, who rushed up to tell me, and then asked "How do gay guys and lesbians get along!? Is it... like... is there a rift? I hear there's a rift!"

I was so bewildered and kind of amused by the question. Maybe you have to know the guy. He's so nice, but kind of naive. He asks me all sorts of questions about being gay, and always wants easier answers than I'm prepared to give. But this one really took the cake for some reason. Who told him there was a rift? Who the hell talks like that? We're groups of people who will probably never have much sex with each other, but otherwise coexist, as people do with others they don't have sex with.

He didn't seem at all satisfied with my answer. :laugh:

[TrueFaith77]

He didn't seem at all satisfied with my answer. :laugh:

There's a rift.

[Dex]

To what is this in reference?

The general consensus that western "mainstream" (inasmuch as gay films can be mainstream) films are basically cheap sleazy crap. If you're making a film and only expect to appeal to a gay audience, you're likely to try and appeal to that entire audience base. And I honestly think the only way people know how to do that is through sex-based content. We're divided on most other matters.

[Dex]

There's a rift.

See? He should've asked you! But I'm getting along so well with the woman that if I'd said that it'd be clear by now that I was just lying.

[becca]

There's a book titled Widescreen Dreams : Growing up Gay at the Movies that might be worth a look?

I liked My Beautiful Laundrette quite a bit too. There's a good one titled C.R.A.Z.Y. that seems to get played on the Sundance channel here a lot which I also liked. Another film, Different For Girls, is more trans I suppose, but some great late '70s-early '80s U.K. music and the two main romantic characters met at a boys school.

Does anyone remember a movie that featured a character obsessed with Cass Elliot music? It may have been Australian (or I've just gotten it mashed up with Muriel's Wedding). I've been racking my brain to come up with it's title to no avail! :(

[sorcerer999]

Does anyone remember a movie that featured a character obsessed with Cass Elliot music? It may have been Australian (or I've just gotten it mashed up with Muriel's Wedding). I've been racking my brain to come up with it's title to no avail! :(

Becca, it's called "Beautiful Thing". British teen angst film. Pretty good if I remember, but I haven't seen it in over a decade. Not sure how it holds up today.

[TrueFaith77]

Does anyone remember a movie that featured a character obsessed with Cass Elliot music? It may have been Australian (or I've just gotten it mashed up with Muriel's Wedding). I've been racking my brain to come up with it's title to no avail! :(

Beautiful Thing! A classic. It's British. Based on a play by Jonathan Harvey who is wonderful. His best work is the book for the Pet Shop Boys musical Closer to Heaven, which I would make into a movie if I ran Hollywood. Too bad Spielberg pals it up with that fraud Tony Kushner (Angels in America).

[TrueFaith77]

The general consensus that western "mainstream" (inasmuch as gay films can be mainstream) films are basically cheap sleazy crap. If you're making a film and only expect to appeal to a gay audience, you're likely to try and appeal to that entire audience base. And I honestly think the only way people know how to do that is through sex-based content. We're divided on most other matters.

Fortunately the films I like are way way way beyond demographic pandering. They attempt the Griffithian dream of a Total Art for the Popular Audience, as explicated in my RIP piece on Patrice Chereau in my new book Watch the Throne (http://www.lulu.com/shop/john-demetry/watch-the-throne/paperback/product-21727345.html).

[markolas]

I've become very interested in LGBT documentaries in the last couple of years. Have you guys seen these?

- Before Stonewall (1984): This is probably my favorite. It chronicles the gay liberation movement and gay culture prior to 1969.

- Word Is Out (1978): Fascinating. Interviews with everyday gay & lesbian folk conducted between 1972 and 1977.

- We Were Here (2011): Documentary about the beginning of the AIDS crisis in San Francisco. I avoided it for a long time, because I knew I'd cry, and I did.

- The Celluloid Closet (1995): This is what started me on this kick. It discusses homosexuality in American film. It's based on Vito Russo's 1981 book.

- Screaming Queens (2005): About the 1966 riot at Compton's Cafeteria in San Francisco by drag queens and transgender women.

- Paris Is Burning (1990): Classic doc about Harlem's "drag ball" scene in the 1980s. This is basically where RuPaul got the idea for "Drag Race."

- Stonewall Uprising (2010): Really moving documentary about the Stonewall Riots. They interviewed one of the cops who was involved in the raid; he was very old and obviously quite ill and was actually very remorseful.

- Gay Sex in the '70s (2005): About gay culture in NYC between Stonewall in 1969, and the appearance of AIDS in 1981.

- How to Survive a Plague (2012): Early years of AIDS and the efforts of ACT-UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) and TAG (Treatment Action Group).

I've seen others, but these are the absolute best.

[TrueFaith77]

The Celluloid Closet --both the book and the movie--is a menace. Totally perverts film history and gay aesthetics. I would recommend as one alternative the documentaries of Mark Rappaport (Rock Hudson's Home Movies, The Silver Screen: Color Me Lavender).

Probably the greatest gay documentary of all time is Of Time and the City by Terence Davies.

Others that spring to mind:

Terminal Bar <--My review in Serpents and Doves referenced below
Sex Positive <--An alternative history of the early gay movement's response to AIDS
Chris and Don: A Love Story <--Not only a revelatory portrait of a gay relationship, it features within it a nugget, a hint of the Secret History of Cinema that the insidious The Celluloid Closet keeps in the closet.

[becca]

Yes, Beautiful Thing! Thank you!

I picked up Terence Davies' Trilogy on BFI DVD when I bought Of Time And The City, it's sort of a more explicit and darkly humoured Catholic cousin of the Bill Douglas Trilogy I thought. I find having a Region 2 Pal player essential. :angel:

I've seen a bunch of Stonewall related docs thanks to the Seattle and Detroit PBS stations, but I paid to see the 2010 feature. I used to know an older person who had been around Manhattan (Christopher St.) back then and was fascinated to hear the stories first hand with such a great accent! I was in awe to have been in the presence of a survivor of the first order. To be honest some things were genuinely very scary sounding (as they still are in some places today); these people exhibited bravery in the U.S. above and beyond desperation... much like sister Rosa Parks or the segregated drug-store counter sitters.

[Dex]

Yes, Beautiful Thing! Thank you!

I picked up Terence Davies' Trilogy on BFI DVD when I bought Of Time And The City, it's sort of a more explicit and darkly humoured Catholic cousin of the Bill Douglas Trilogy I thought. I find having a Region 2 Pal player essential. :angel:

I've seen a bunch of Stonewall related docs thanks to the Seattle and Detroit PBS stations, but I paid to see the 2010 feature. I used to know an older person who had been around Manhattan (Christopher St.) back then and was fascinated to hear the stories first hand with such a great accent! I was in awe to have been in the presence of a survivor of the first order. To be honest some things were genuinely very scary sounding (as they still are in some places today); these people exhibited bravery in the U.S. above and beyond desperation... much like sister Rosa Parks or the segregated drug-store counter sitters.

Yes! It's fascinating to hear these stories. And I wish more emphasis was placed on respect for the struggles of previous generations in the GLBT community. North American gay guys my age have all heard of Rosa Parks, for example, but ask them about Stonewall and you'll often get a fairly blank stare. I'm guilty of this to an extent as well. It's just not something we talk about enough. But it's so amazing how much change has occurred in such a short time! My mother's lifetime highlights this, to think that when she was a child me having sex with my husband would've been a criminal offence, and now only a few decades later she's able to say quite openly that I have a husband with barely anyone raising an eyebrow. We have so much to be thankful for.

There was an out gay guy in my high school, who was a year below me, but we had brief conversations now and again, and his knowledge of GLBT history was so immense and I learned so much from him. It was jarring to find out, after graduating, that he was very much the exception.

[becca]

Dex, we've seen marches turn into parades, but there's also been a period of the word 'liberal' becoming a name-calling slur.

Mark Twain said something to the effect that history doesn't repeat but it usually rhymes. If you look into Berlin in the 1920s-30s during the Weimar republic things were very open and accepting but a lot of angry name-callers wanted to re-fight some old battles they'd lost yet again. There's even photos of the club called Eldorado with it's 'hier ist's richtig' slogan redone over as a nazi party office! Everyone who cares about freedom has to watch for actions more than words, but things always start with the words. My great uncle in Holland organized some labour stikes when people were being marched away and paid the ultimate price. It shows how things snowball when many people 'don't want to know'.

Cabaret should be classified as a gay film being based on Christopher Isherwood's I Am A Camera about his time in Berlin. Someone should package it with some good documentaries.

[Autumn Ocean]

What are everyone's thoughts on Brokeback Mountain?

[Dex]

Dex, we've seen marches turn into parades, but there's also been a period of the word 'liberal' becoming a name-calling slur.

Mark Twain said something to the effect that history doesn't repeat but it usually rhymes. If you look into Berlin in the 1920s-30s during the Weimar republic things were very open and accepting but a lot of angry name-callers wanted to re-fight some old battles they'd lost yet again. There's even photos of the club called Eldorado with it's 'hier ist's richtig' slogan redone over as a nazi party office! Everyone who cares about freedom has to watch for actions more than words, but things always start with the words. My great uncle in Holland organized some labour stikes when people were being marched away and paid the ultimate price. It shows how things snowball when many people 'don't want to know'.

Cabaret should be classified as a gay film being based on Christopher Isherwood's I Am A Camera about his time in Berlin. Someone should package it with some good documentaries.

You're right of course, Becca. But although in some circles "Liberal" is a dismissive/pejorative term, in Canada being accepting of same-sex relationships isn't considered "liberal" anymore, it's completely moderate/mainstream, and I think that's what's so powerful and amazing. And I'm from Alberta where the "ugh, liberals" mentality is probably higher than elsewhere in the country. Homophobia was a mainstream view here until well into the 90s, now it's completely on the fringe. At least until you get into Mormon country south of Calgary, but shhhh. ;)

What are everyone's thoughts on Brokeback Mountain?

I saw Brokeback Mountain when I was too young/stupid to really appreciate a romantic drama like that. It's filmed around where I'm from, so it was a big deal when it was released, but unfortunately my initial reaction was "it's boring" and I haven't seen it since. I need to give it another try. I do think the symbolic significance of having a completely gay romance in the hollywood mainstream with the budget and star power that BM did was an enormous thing for us and I'll always appreciate it for that. But in terms of the film's actual content, unfortunately, I really don't know what I think of it. What do you, Autumn Ocean?

[TrueFaith77]

What are everyone's thoughts on Brokeback Mountain?

It's atrocious. And worse hair and make up than a RuPaul Drag Race audition video.

"it's boring" and I haven't seen it since. I need to give it another try. I do think the symbolic significance of having a completely gay romance in the hollywood mainstream with the budget and star power that BM did was an enormous thing for us and I'll always appreciate it for that. But in terms of the film's actual content, unfortunately, I really don't know what I think of it. What do you, Autumn Ocean?

Your first reaction was the correct one. It's boring. Ang Lee is a dull filmmaker. Also since Staircase was made in the late 60s, nobody can call Brokeback Mountain a breakthrough. Star power? Ledger and Gylennhal where in flop after flop prior to BM (what an appropriate acronym). Staircase starred Rex Harrison and Richard Burton at their peaks of star power. Their bravery--and ARTISTRY--will never be appreciated it seems. Besides, Oliver Stone's Alexander is far more daring as an attempt at a bisexual blockbuster (with two hot actors people cared about!!! Jordan Catalano!!!!)--and it came out one year before Brokeback Mountain. Don't believe the hype.

I cannot stress enough that some of the gigantic movie achievements of the last three decades have been gay films whose intention is to reach the universal audience. They failed to reach those audiences because they didn't have BM's hype machine--and also, to be frank, the media's homophobia which BM appeased. It's time to flush.

Also in American cinema, although Vito Russo--author of The Celluloid Closet--and his clique of sycophants successfully conspired against them: Robert Altman made (maybe) the greatest overtly gay American films of all time in the early 80s: Streamers and Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean Jimmy Dean. BM don't rate.

[becca]

I haven't seen that, but I did have a strange dream about two gay cowboys running from a bunch of straight cowboys when their pickup truck broke down and wondered what might have caused it. :o

[Autumn Ocean]

I loved Brokeback. I would say it is more a queer film than a gay film, since the characters don't articulate or openly embrace their sexuality.

In some ways, it is a cautionary tale about the consequences of denying who you are. It also touches on how the great American west didn't offer the same freedom to all.

The film is beautifully shot and acted.

Towards the end of the film, there is a scene where Ennis visits Jack's parents after his death and discovers a shirt of his inside one of Jack's. He takes the shirts, and in the final scene you see that he has reversed it, so that Jack's shirt is inside his. This just broke my heart. I remember sobbing in the cinema and trying to hide it.

I grew up in a farming and mining area and was "the only gay in the village". I didn't really have any reference points. I knew I liked guys but couldn't relate to the camp caricatures that were the only representations of men who liked men I could find.

I struggled with it for a long time and didn't come out until I was 29.

The film affected me deeply, at least in part, because I was living the same lie for years. Dion

[KarmaContestant]

And I'm from Alberta where the "ugh, liberals" mentality is probably higher than elsewhere in the country.

I just don't understand this, be it Canada or the United States.

Who wouldn't want to be a liberal? Who wouldn't want to be accepting, kind, generous, open minded and generally appreciative of diversity and cultural differences? Who wouldn't want a better, helpful and fulfilling, factually educated, cooperative society in favor of one living a myth, always at odds with itself or some segement thereof?

Ugh, conservatives.

[KarmaContestant]

I loved Brokeback. I would say it is more a queer film than a gay film, since the characters don't articulate or openly embrace their sexuality.

In some ways, it is a cautionary tale about the consequences of denying who you are. It also touches on how the great American west didn't offer the same freedom to all.

The film is beautifully shot and acted.

Towards the end of the film, there is a scene where Ennis visits Jack's parents after his death and discovers a shirt of his inside one of Jack's. He takes the shirts, and in the final scene you see that he has reversed it, so that Jack's shirt is inside his. This just broke my heart. I remember sobbing in the cinema and trying to hide it.

I grew up in a farming and mining area and was "the only gay in the village". I didn't really have any reference points. I knew I liked guys but couldn't relate to the camp caricatures that were the only representations of men who liked men I could find.

I struggled with it for a long time and didn't come out until I was 29.

The film affected me deeply, at least in part, because I was living the same lie for years. Dion

Thanks for sharing.

I enjoyed Brokeback. It was well acted and beautifully shot, as you said. It also served a role in bringing an unconventional gay love story to mainstream American audiences in a way they'd never seen before, and it deserves recognition for that.

[TrueFaith77]

Well I won't continue to argue about a movie that clearly means a lot to people on here, I just wish you all knew that there were better American Hollywood, independent and foreign films with a variety of presentations of gay life way before Brokeback Mountain. And way way way better.

For more on my response to the Brokeback Mountain hype I refer you to my essay "Breaking Bread with the Movie Club" in my first book The Community of Desire (link below).

If you have Netflix streaming, here are some great-to-good gay films available:

1. The Witnesses (Andre Techine)
2. Happy Together (Wong Kar-Wai)
3. Yossi (Eytan Fox)
4. Camp (Todd Graff)
5. Kaboom (Gregg Araki)
6. The Bubble (Eytan Fox)
7. Boy Culture (Q. Allan Brocka)
8. The Doom Generation (Gregg Araki)
9. The Last of England (Derek Jarman)
10. Another Gay Movie (Todd Stephens)
11. Gayby (Jonathan Lisecki)

[KarmaContestant]

Well I won't continue to argue about a movie that clearly means a lot to people on here, I just wish you all knew that there were better American Hollywood, independent and foreign films with a variety of presentations of gay life way before Brokeback Mountain. And way way way better.


I think it's just that BM was so mainstream. For whatever reason, it hit big and was seen by many. It could have been contrived, it could have been happenstance, but many never saw anything like it before, and really, the true aim of movies like this is not to entertain gay audiences - but rather to humanize gay people for straight audiences, and BM did a good job of that, overall.

[sorcerer999]

Well I won't continue to argue about a movie that clearly means a lot to people on here, I just wish you all knew that there were better American Hollywood, independent and foreign films with a variety of presentations of gay life way before Brokeback Mountain. And way way way better.

For more on my response to the Brokeback Mountain hype I refer you to my essay "Breaking Bread with the Movie Club" in my first book The Community of Desire (link below).

If you have Netflix streaming, here are some great-to-good gay films available:

1. The Witnesses (Andre Techine)
2. Happy Together (Wong Kar-Wai)
3. Yossi (Eytan Fox)
4. Camp (Todd Graff)
5. Kaboom (Gregg Araki)
6. The Bubble (Eytan Fox)
7. Boy Culture (Q. Allan Brocka)
8. The Doom Generation (Gregg Araki)
9. The Last of England (Derek Jarman)
10. Another Gay Movie (Todd Stephens)
11. Gayby (Jonathan Lisecki)

I really LOOOOVE "Kaboom" and "The Doom Generation"! In fact, I love everything that Gregg Araki has made! One of my favorite directors. I love someone who can tap into such dark subject matter as "Mysterious Skin" and then completely take things in the opposite direction with "Smiley Face".

[TheWILDheart]

Beautiful Thing! A classic. It's British. Based on a play by Jonathan Harvey who is wonderful. His best work is the book for the Pet Shop Boys musical Closer to Heaven, which I would make into a movie if I ran Hollywood. Too bad Spielberg pals it up with that fraud Tony Kushner (Angels in America).

If you're a gay teenager in the UK, it's pretty much a legal requirement that watching "Beautiful Thing" is part of your coming out :laugh:

I've seen that movie sooooooooo many times. I used to go to a gay youth group when I was..well..youth..and we watched it A LOT.

[TrueFaith77]

I really LOOOOVE "Kaboom" and "The Doom Generation"! In fact, I love everything that Gregg Araki has made! One of my favorite directors. I love someone who can tap into such dark subject matter as "Mysterious Skin" and then completely take things in the opposite direction with "Smiley Face".

Check out my essay on a Gregg Araki retrospective in my new book Watch the Throne (link below)

[He's So Unusual]

Sorry to hijack your thread, but I watched Beautiful Thing a few years ago and really enjoyed it. Get Real is also a pretty good film.

[Dex]

Uuuugh.

I was stupid enough to read some of the comments section of a "coming out" youtube video. :(

I am genuinely so sad right now. How do gay youtubers handle all this crap?

[He's So Unusual]

Uuuugh.

I was stupid enough to read some of the comments section of a "coming out" youtube video. :(

I am genuinely so sad right now. How do gay youtubers handle all this crap?

The comments section on YouTube brings out the worst in a lot of people. Saying that, the people who upload their videos to YouTube about private and delicate matters can't expect everyone to be positive, the internet sadly doesn't work like that. If the comments left on a persons video bothers them that much they can easily disable them using their account settings. I know I'll probably get criticised for writing this, but one thing that annoys me about a lot of people in my generation is their urgency to talk about themselves and their lives openly on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Blogger, etc. I know that people uploading videos about being gay and coming out might help other people in the same situation, and this is obviously a good thing, but a lot of it just comes across as incredibly self-involved. There's a time and a place for things, YouTube isn't always it. I know if I was coming out I wouldn't want to sit in front of a camera and tell thousands or even millions of people about it, especially as the video could be seen by people I'd rather not see it. Each to their own.

[SaidSomething]

Ok. I am in entertainment. I've been around the block a few times...I started on Romper Room, left the whole LA thing...lets just say Hollywood, Beverly Hills, and white and whisky is as lethal as Michele Bachmann finding out her Tax exempt cruise was a gay clothing optional drag wear only 10 days extravaganza...oh, and all she packed was Marcus and a semi automatic assault weapon.

So I worked in Public Relations, supporting seniors, doing the talking head during soap operas to bring awareness to a worthy cause...advocating for disabled folks, seniors...anyone that needed me as a voice...for truth...and volume...and not afraid to face bureaucrats at any level and if warranted I would praise them or expose their dirty rotten schemes...I've had public bouts and when I knew I was right....in my heart and with God etc...anybody that would screw with the very precious people we must protect....was/is/always will be "screwed".

Just wanted to paint a dramatic but true picture of myself. I'm a liberal but, far from a wing nut.

My in laws, and my guy is/was Republican. They seem to sweat when I'm around...I am pro all life...a mother shouldn't die on her kids or husband and family if she is having a lethal pregnancy...also, I'm pro life to take care of those that are all ready alive and in great need. I'm using politics to lead to my punchline.

I dig all kinds of people...we all wear many designer coats....no one has the same couture coat designed only for themselves...

Bring on the rain...

Many of my family members are politicians. Imagine our bbq parties during summer.

So, My Harvard Lawyer Sister comes to me recently and smirks asking me about, "when do you get your gay on? Excuse me?

Then...

She says to me...I will bet you are a heavy set southern woman of color with really big boobs behind that nosejob....

She should have shut up when she hit 'nosejob'.

So I layed it out. I love Pipi Longstockings, Pollyanna, Steel Magnolias, Beaches, I have a lot of antiques, I love anything by the Bronte' Sisters, Wuthering Heights makes me swoon...Does your husband prefer deep cherrywood, mahogony....nevermind...if your table or armoire is even wood...it's painted powder blue and red. Ack.

And yes...black ladies saved my soul in LA....they were from the South, they worked in a Beverly Hills Bar and Grill I would bartend at between gigs...I had birthday parties, love, respect....most importantly, I realized I was color blind, sexuality blind, mannerisms blind...but, I target bigots and bitches...

So, if yall wanna keep yo ass on ur back...best get on...or I'm goin ovah you...mmm hmmm.

My last line I mean no disrespect...I talks like this with the "girls" all the time...they're working on the Kennedy thing accent...you know....Boston and all....

This was a recent attempt at a selfie. Yup I'm so white I'm practically blue...nice bed head though...Stevie should be so jealous. I hate it...I have a few more weeks of long hair for my part...:xoxo:

[markolas]

Tina is not your friend, sweetie.

[becca]

I think if Helen of Troy were around today there would be comments on her facebook page about how ugly she is! If it were Albert Einstein they'd be calling him an idiot. I figured out a long time ago I don't need to have a page on facebook to be a 'face' (in the old Mod sense of the word). :nod:

Meanwhile in the real world... pride day/weekend in Vancouver seems to have been more positive and fun than ever!

[SaidSomething]

I think you are all so special.


Yes, no one would even know who Helen was/is...if she came marching down main street.

I post on here sometimes because I have 2 friends I know in person.


There is sometimes a lack of dignity, respect and social graces....

Hell, it's not my wine and cheese spread....

I hear you about facebook. Too much. Someone usually takes care of keeping up with stuff on my page. The same lady takes care of my best friend's too. We're in a new show destined to burn during the Winter sweeps as production missed pilot season.

My part is not a stretch...I'm off beat. Kind. Polite, Daring, Funny, Sarcastic....and in Love...
Kind of a miracle show,,,,

I'll let everyone know the details.
I'll bet you're all gushing with anticipation....

I can play coy...

ala,,,sneak previews and hints from 24 karat gold Vault.

no one takes a step in vain.

If life is trudging uphill facing a bitter wind...

Leave the ceo title....

and get a job at the pink roller skating ice cream shop,,,,downwind, down hill, across the street from your house....

and let Wednesday be free coffee and a cone for a senior citizen that left us with all we have been blessed with,

Catch ya,:xoxo:

[sparky]

Wow. A few of these posts above me are about as coherent as the lyrics to Mabel Normand.

Is Stevie time travel posting here from 1985 as a practical joke?

She would probably make more sense.

[SaidSomething]

Wow. A few of these posts above me are about as coherent as the lyrics to Mabel Normand.

Is Stevie time travel posting here from 1985 as a practical joke?

She would probably make more sense.

or speaking in tounges...whatever.

nobody pays attention...I find it amusing.

social? media

:]

[TrueFaith77]

Tina is not your friend, sweetie.

readt lol :xoxo:

[Bandon]

I'm pretty much the opposite. Now that I'm in my 30s nearly all of my friends are straight. These days I relate to straight people better (unless they have kids), and the friendships are just easier. There's always either sexual tension or competition amongst gay men. When I was in my 20s I loved that part of the game. Nowadays I can't be bothered.

I hear yah...:nod:

[TheWILDheart]

I love anything by the Bronte' Sisters, Wuthering Heights makes me swoon...

Slightly off topic, but I live in the town where the Bronte family lived. Their house (now a museum) is just up the road from us. You have to take a preserved steam train to get up there.

[becca]

Slightly off topic, but I live in the town where the Bronte family lived. Their house (now a museum) is just up the road from us. You have to take a preserved steam train to get up there.

I'm envious. My ancestors on my mother's side are from that area. I wish I could see it in person some day but am terrified or flying (cue Erica Jong jokes here). Oh well, I can always watch old Emmerdale videos or summat. :cool:

[TheWILDheart]

I'm envious. My ancestors on my mother's side are from that area. I wish I could see it in person some day but am terrified or flying (cue Erica Jong jokes here). Oh well, I can always watch old Emmerdale videos or summat. :cool:

Ah, well Emmerdale used to be filmed in a place called Esholt, which is part of the village I grew up in. It's not really anything like Haworth where the Bronte's are from and where I live now. Haworth is very high up in the hills and beyond the village is mostly moorland and woodland. Esholt is in a valley and is mostly farm land.

Since the mid-90's, it's been filmed on a purpose built set on the Harewood House estate in Leeds.

It's amazing to see that your anncestory is still a part of you. If you ever get the chance, you should visit. There's some beautiful places to see around here. If Christine McVie and (perhaps even more so) Agnetha Faltskog from ABBA can get over that fear, then I'm sure you can too :xoxo:

[TrueFaith77]

Slightly off topic, but I live in the town where the Bronte family lived. Their house (now a museum) is just up the road from us. You have to take a preserved steam train to get up there.

I'll bring it back on-topic. One of the ten greatest movies of my lifetime (born: 1977) is called The Bronte Sisters. It's directed by Andre Techine; he is gay and has directed some of the most amazing gay films of all time: Wild Reeds, The Witnesses, I Don't Kiss, Thieves, Changing Times, etc. etc. etc.

[markolas]

I pretty much get along with most gay guys, except for the ones who like to "brag" about how not gay they supposedly are.

[markolas]

A treasure trove of homosexual history! (http://www.outspoken-lgbtq.org/#!interviews/ch5u)

[louielouie2000]

I realized I lied in this thread. I do have somewhat of a celeb crush... :lol: Adam Scott. I think he's freaking adorable.

http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Premiere+Of+Leap+Year+Arrivals+aU3vh2wMWyOl.jpg

[sorcerer999]

I realized I lied in this thread. I do have somewhat of a celeb crush... :lol: Adam Scott. I think he's freaking adorable.


OMG I love Adam Scott!!! I had the hugest crush on him many MANY years ago when he was on "Party Of Five" (quit laughing) and of course I LOVE him on "Parks & Rec"!!!:thumbsup:

[TimeCastASpell]

*pops in and waves* :wavey:

Lesbian Mac fan here. Though I swear in another life I must have been one amazing, flamboyant gay male. :lol: Always had lots of gay male friends, much much more so than lesbian friends. In fact the number of times gay men have proposed to me is quite impressive. :D I'm like your dream fag hag (hate the phrase but makes a point) minus any weird sexual tension. I'll act out Broadway musicals with you and lapse into valley girl talk.

Seriously though, stereotypes aside, for whatever reason all my friends are straight (and occasionally bi) women and gay men. Guess we just have the most in common. Darn hard to actual meet perspective partners/ dates though!

Anyway, I might be crashing the party, didnt read all the posts but I would assume I'm not the only lesbian around.

[sorcerer999]

*pops in and waves* :wavey:


Anyway, I might be crashing the party, didnt read all the posts but I would assume I'm not the only lesbian around.

Hola!!! :wavey:You can crash this party anytime! Most of my BFF's are gay women. I totally understand where you are coming from.

[SpyNote]

In my opinion, 90% of gay themed films are atrocious. There was an episode of "Will & Grace" where both Will and Jack are helping Karen's nerdy cousin come out of the closet. I do believe one of them says, "Let me tell you a little secret that we try to keep within the community. Gay movies suck but until the laws change we're still obligated to go see 'em."

I must be a bad gay man because I've only seen one film on this list. :/

I've seen maybe three or four in my lifetime -- all crap. Many of them focus on being closeted, which is just depressing and something I don't care to see in films anymore. Or they kill off characters, which is pointless and cliched. I didn't care much for Brokeback Mountain, either, though it was beautifully filmed and acted. But the last one I saw, ironically, was one of my favorites, Shelter (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0942384/), a story about gay surfers. Positive ending, positive message. I wish more of them were like this.

[sorcerer999]

Bumping this thread to ask some advice from my fellow gay Ledgies...

I've lost quite a bit of weight this past year and a half and I feel confident enough to throw myself back into the "dating pool", as it were...

Are there any dating websites that you all can recommend that have a pretty solid following and a good reputation?

I've tried OkCupid in the past but didn't have much luck.

Other people have suggested Manhunt, Grindr and Adam4Adam but when I went to check them out, they appeared to just be more of those shady "porno hook-up" websites that carry one agenda, which is not what I'm looking for.

Suggestions?

[markolas]

It's been a very long time since I was in the dating game. I've heard friends talk about OK Cupid, and it seems to be the only one that isn't primarily for hook-ups. Have you tried looking on Meetup.com for some gay-related groups in your area?

[joe]

Bumping this thread to ask some advice from my fellow gay Ledgies...

I've lost quite a bit of weight this past year and a half and I feel confident enough to throw myself back into the "dating pool", as it were...

Are there any dating websites that you all can recommend that have a pretty solid following and a good reputation?

I've tried OkCupid in the past but didn't have much luck.

Other people have suggested Manhunt, Grindr and Adam4Adam but when I went to check them out, they appeared to just be more of those shady "porno hook-up" websites that carry one agenda, which is not what I'm looking for.

Suggestions?

I would say okcupid and match are the best. Maybe match more because people actually have to pay to be able to contact other members. If you live in a well-populated area with a decent gay population, you may be able to use just those two sites. However, I use all of them. I'm in an area that's a little more difficult. It would be so much easier if I was in NYC but I'm over an hour away and I'm not commuting to date lol.

You have to to get the most exposure. Sure, manhunt sites are more geared for hookups but not everyone is there for that. Take the time and read the profiles. They'll usually put what they're looking for. You have to use every tool (no pun intended lol) available even if it's not quite the holiest site with mostly pics of d*** and a**.

Unfortunately, it's still tough getting people to meet. I'll leave it at that. My opinion of online dating is pretty bad. Seems that people like hiding online and never actually want to meet face to face. Ahh, the days when you actually socialized with people in person.:shrug:

[greendaze5]

With same-sex marriage being legalized in so many States now :xoxo:, anyone here tied the knot, or planning to?

[sorcerer999]

Have you tried looking on Meetup.com for some gay-related groups in your area?

I signed up for it last week and am going to my first event this weekend. :) I also signed up (for the 2nd time) with OKCupid and have a coffee date next Tuesday. We'll see how it goes.

Also signed up with an Adam4Adam account but so far I've had nothing but sleazeballs (with no face pictures - only pics of their pee-pee's) message me wanting me to send them pics of my pee-pee. Classy. :/

[SisterNightroad]

Ok, a certain Douglas Carlson on youtube posted a video of Go your own way with gay porn pictures mixed in the slideshow, I'm almost sorry I can't post it for decency but it's the most hysteric thing I've seen in a while, I literally convulsed...

[sorcerer999]

Thread Bump. So both Manhunt and Scruff were NOT what I thought they were going to be. OKCupid was also a bust. Match.com was superficial as F*CK! :distress: Adam4Adam "started out" being okay but quickly went downhill.

Surprisingly, I tried Zoosk for the first time (joined over the summer) and have had A LOT of luck in finding nice (and more important - SANE) men to date. Even better is that I've made A LOT more gay male friends and have started coming out of my shell and being more social within the gay community in my town. I still haven't quite found Mr. Right just yet but, in my late 30's, I'm having more fun than when I was in my teens and twenties.

But the point of this post was to ask some questions for those of you who are younger and more well versed in some of these new slang terms and abbreviations that THIS OLD MAN is having trouble wrapping his head around. Ahem...

Can you explain the terms "Bae", "In Camp" "On Fleek"" and "PrEP"? :o God, I feel so stupid and old.

[KarmaContestant]

Can you explain the terms "Bae", "In Camp" "On Fleek"" and "PrEP"? :o God, I feel so stupid and old.

I'm older than you. But, what the hell.

Bae: A stupid word interchangeable with boo, babe, etc...
In Camp: I have no idea
On Fleek: Another stupid phrase that means 'on point'
PrEP: I could be wrong, but PREP is a reference to anti-retroviral therapy for people without HIV. Essentially, you take HIV meds so you can have sex without condoms with men who are, or may be HIV+.

[sorcerer999]

I'm older than you. But, what the hell.

Bae: A stupid word interchangeable with boo, babe, etc...
In Camp: I have no idea
On Fleek: Another stupid phrase that means 'on point'
PrEP: I could be wrong, but PREP is a reference to anti-retroviral therapy for people without HIV. Essentially, you take HIV meds so you can have sex without condoms with men who are, or may be HIV+.


Thanks for the clarification, bae. You may be older, but you're ability to keep up with the slang of younger generations is most definitely on fleek. :laugh:

[KarmaContestant]

Thanks for the clarification, bae. You may be older, but you're ability to keep up with the slang of younger generations is most definitely on fleek. :laugh:

:laugh: You are too funny. :laugh:

[louielouie2000]

PrEP: I could be wrong, but PREP is a reference to anti-retroviral therapy for people without HIV. Essentially, you take HIV meds so you can have sex without condoms with men who are, or may be HIV+.

The whole PREP thing really nags at me. In my opinion, it encourages unhealthy practices. The reality is that HIV is no longer a death sentence- it is ultimately manageable with the proper medications. However, HPV is absolutely a killer- it is linked to colorectal cancer (and cervical cancer in women). If gay men start using PREP in mass and forgo condoms, I really worry about a spike in other venereal diseases like HPV (which has no cure). :distress:

[SisterNightroad]

PrEP: I could be wrong, but PREP is a reference to anti-retroviral therapy for people without HIV. Essentially, you take HIV meds so you can have sex without condoms with men who are, or may be HIV+.
The whole PREP thing really nags at me. In my opinion, it encourages unhealthy practices. The reality is that HIV is no longer a death sentence- it is ultimately manageable with the proper medications. However, HPV is absolutely a killer- it is linked to colorectal cancer (and cervical cancer in women). If gay men start using PREP in mass and forgo condoms, I really worry about a spike in other venereal diseases like HPV (which has no cure). :distress:
Sorry for being obnoxious guys but I'd like to specify that PrEP, also for the reasons enlisted by Louielouie2000, is supposed to be used together with condoms, don't trust who says otherwise.