Dating site: No ugly people

[vivfox]

Dating website Darwindating.com vows to weed out the unattractive people from its dating pool, forcing them to swim somewhere else. Touting that they're "online dating for beautiful people only," they use Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection as their justification, but they point out that, because Charles Darwin was "very ugly," he wouldn't be able to join the site. From there, they proclaim the plight of the good-looking people everywhere.

"Attractive people are at a disadvantage on normal internet dating sites. They have to wade through a plethora of ugly people and ugly people pretending to be attractive in order to find someone who matches their own attractiveness. Our strict rules and natural selection process makes Darwin Dating the perfect medium for attractive people to find other people of their own kind."
Indeed, the ugly need not apply. So what constitutes ugly? Well, they have a full list, including: acne, mullets, bald patches, large gaps between teeth, too many freckles, and bizarrely enough, "anyone with a middle part." There's even a "chimp calculator" to see if you make the cut.

Initially, the whole thing sounds like a gimmicky marketing ploy, a harmless half-joke to entice anyone to join the site. But nope. Last year, the site went under fire when it said that Irish men were the ugliest in the world. Um, what?

And the controversy didn't stop there. Darwin Dating then eliminated 30,000 new members for being what managing director Greg Hodge deemed, "ugly people."

And Hodge stood by the decision, which cost the site more than $100,000.

"We have to stick to our founding principles of only accepting beautiful people—that's what our members have paid for. We can't just sweep 30,000 ugly people under the carpet."
Unfortunately, the axing meant that Rachel Godfrey, a 31 year-old Australian nanny, lost touch with a match she met on the site.

"I was getting on really well with this American guy and we were going to go on a date and then they said I'd been chucked off and they locked me out of the site," she said. "Now I can't get in touch with him."

While Darwin Dating seeks to evolve our world into one where only the hot survive, it seems like discriminating against people based on looks is devolution. But hey, maybe that's just the ugly talking.

http://living.msn.com/love-relationships/the-heart-beat-blog-post?post=335c6933-4346-4b9c-860d-dbd7d3699ccb&ocid=OTD_0416

[wild-heart]

Who actually determines who is ugly? In fact what is the definition of ugly? What one person deems as ugly one person might find incredibly beautiful.
What a stupid website.

[vivfox]

What a stupid website.

They lost themselves one hundred thousand dollars in business deleting the ugly people from the site. Did you read that? I know I would never make the cut.

[wild-heart]

They lost themselves one hundred thousand dollars in business deleting the ugly people from the site. Did you read that? I know I would never make the cut.

Well then they might have beauty but they most certainly do not have brains. Would you really want to be a part of such a superficial egotistical website anyway? Nope you are much smarter than that. :D

[vivfox]

Well then they might have beauty but they most certainly do not have brains. Would you really want to be a part of such a superficial egotistical website anyway? Nope you are much smarter than that. :D


Everyone wants to feel beautiful though. I know Vivica Fox is beautiful and that's why I (pretend, if that's the right word) to be her. Whenever I post a pic of myself in the post a pic thread, no one comes on raving about my beauty and I don't expect them to. I often get compliments about my eyes.
I have a complex I will never be able to shake because when I was a teen I got abused for my looks on a regular basis. I learned at a very young age that beauty would sail us through life a heck of a lot better than ugly. I have days where I look in the mirror and I see cute. I know I look younger than my age. Those are some good points. I love my personality and sense of humor. Others have discussed this in another thread how us Gay men are so shallow(myself included) that we know if another guy ain't a hottie there is very little interest in pursuing him. Rant over.

[Silver Springs]

If you only judge prospective dates by how they look and refuse to "mix with the ugly people", then chances are you're a wee bit of a douche canoe. Let them all stick together and they'll soon realise that there's far more to people than "beauty". They'll soon be pining for intelligent conversation and substance.

[wild-heart]

Everyone wants to feel beautiful though. I know Vivica Fox is beautiful and that's why I (pretend, if that's the right word) to be her. Whenever I post a pic of myself in the post a pic thread, no one comes on raving about my beauty and I don't expect them to. I often get compliments about my eyes.
I have a complex I will never be able to shake because when I was a teen I got abused for my looks on a regular basis. I learned at a very young age that beauty would sail us through life a heck of a lot better than ugly. I have days where I look in the mirror and I see cute. I know I look younger than my age. Those are some good points. I love my personality and sense of humor. Others have discussed this in another thread how us Gay men are so shallow(myself included) that we know if another guy ain't a hottie there is very little interest in pursuing him. Rant over.

I agree with you that we all want to look/feel pretty and to be told we're attractive. I would be lying if I said I didn't do things to myself to make myself look more "attractive" (make up) but at the same time I despise the fact that people are judged solely on their looks, like how they look define them. It doesn't and never should. I honestly believe that everyone has features that are beautiful. Some in the conventional idea of pretty others have that quirky kind of beautiful. I also believe that your personality shines in your face. As cliche as it sounds, it does. I know I would rather be around people who have a good sense of humour and a kind nature than people who are all beauty and no brains.

I guess that I am trying to get at is, you may aswell be kind to the face you have because there ain't a lot you can do to change it (without drastic measures) so make the most of what you've got, and if that don't get the guys then make them laugh. As Judge Judy once said (LOL) "beauty fades, dumb is forever"

[HejiraNYC]

"beauty fades, dumb is forever"

I have never understood this old adage. What does being beautiful have to do with being dumb? Are beauty and brains mutually exclusive? Aren't people allowed to have both?

Although I think this is a douchey concept on its face (pun intended), I think there is a certain practicality about this approach. I think we can all agree that more attractive people are the most likely to garner attention, wanted or not, on a dating website. That's just the nature of the game. Accordingly, an exceptionally attractive person will probably have many, many replies- mostly from people who are probably aspiring out of their own leagues physically. Not that I would know what it's like personally, but I would imagine that it's rather stressful being in a position of rejecting so many perfectly decent people because they are physically incompatible. Just because someone is attractive, it doesn't automatically mean he/she is also callous and indifferent to the feelings of others. And anyone who claims that they have never rejected someone on the basis of physical appearance is an out and out LIAR. A website like this helps to narrow the field and increases the ratio of hits (i.e., physical compatibility) vs. misses, which thereby reduces the stress level associated with rejecting people.

[TrueFaith77]

I wish I were goodlooking enough to be on that site. :(

[Silver Springs]

I wish I were goodlooking enough to be on that site. :(

Bugger the website. I just wish I was attractive enough for anybody to be interested. Nobody ever has...

[wild-heart]

I have never understood this old adage. What does being beautiful have to do with being dumb? Are beauty and brains mutually exclusive? Aren't people allowed to have both?

Although I think this is a douchey concept on its face (pun intended), I think there is a certain practicality about this approach. I think we can all agree that more attractive people are the most likely to garner attention, wanted or not, on a dating website. That's just the nature of the game. Accordingly, an exceptionally attractive person will probably have many, many replies- mostly from people who are probably aspiring out of their own leagues physically. Not that I would know what it's like personally, but I would imagine that it's rather stressful being in a position of rejecting so many perfectly decent people because they are physically incompatible. Just because someone is attractive, it doesn't automatically mean he/she is also callous and indifferent to the feelings of others. And anyone who claims that they have never rejected someone on the basis of physical appearance is an out and out LIAR. A website like this helps to narrow the field and increases the ratio of hits (i.e., physical compatibility) vs. misses, which thereby reduces the stress level associated with rejecting people.

Well I always take it to mean that at the end of the day it doesn't matter how beautiful you are if you have nothing to back it up with then there is only so far you will get. And when you become old, and you probably don't look as good as you used to, people won't care about how you used to look where as people do usually keep intelligence. Oh dear I haven't explained what I mean very well tonight.

[HomerMcvie]

Well I always take it to mean that at the end of the day it doesn't matter how beautiful you are if you have nothing to back it up with then there is only so far you will get. And when you become old, and you probably don't look as good as you used to, people won't care about how you used to look where as people do usually keep intelligence. Oh dear I haven't explained what I mean very well tonight.

I agree completely. And I've always said, I'd rather date a 7 or an 8, any day, over a 10. I'm not saying there aren't great 10's out there, but just in general, that 1o usually knows that they can have their pick of whomever they desire....and who needs that pressure!

Looks ARE important, but personality is too!

[HejiraNYC]

I agree completely. And I've always said, I'd rather date a 7 or an 8, any day, over a 10. I'm not saying there aren't great 10's out there, but just in general, that 1o usually knows that they can have their pick of whomever they desire....and who needs that pressure!

Looks ARE important, but personality is too!

But why do you automatically assume that the 7 or 8 is necessarily a nicer/smarter/funnier person than the 10? A haughty 10 is not nearly as obnoxious as a haughty 7 or 8 with the self-image of a 10. I think it's interesting that people are willing to assume the worst about attractive people- as if we are trying to find something, anything, that shatters this illusion of perfection.

I hate to admit this, but if I had to choose between 1) being exceptionally physically attractive AND stupid, or 2) being exceptionally brilliant intellectually AND hideous (by most objective criteria), I would choose to be pretty and stupid. Sure, being intellectually superior is a great, admirable thing. But at the end of the day, who has the easier/happier life? The person with the looks usually wins in the end. I would rather be adored/worshipped and oblivious to my own stupidity than being acutely self-aware and shunned/ridiculed by people who are beneath me mentally. It's sad but true.

[HomerMcvie]

But why do you automatically assume that the 7 or 8 is necessarily a nicer/smarter/funnier person than the 10? A haughty 10 is not nearly as obnoxious as a haughty 7 or 8 with the self-image of a 10. I think it's interesting that people are willing to assume the worst about attractive people- as if we are trying to find something, anything, that shatters this illusion of perfection.

I hate to admit this, but if I had to choose between 1) being exceptionally physically attractive AND stupid, or 2) being exceptionally brilliant intellectually AND hideous (by most objective criteria), I would choose to be pretty and stupid. Sure, being intellectually superior is a great, admirable thing. But at the end of the day, who has the easier/happier life? The person with the looks usually wins in the end. I would rather be adored/worshipped and oblivious to my own stupidity than being acutely self-aware and shunned/ridiculed by people who are beneath me mentally. It's sad but true.
Maybe it's just paranoia, that I see that EVERYONE is always staring at/propositioning the 10, and I assume that the temptation to "trade up" might be too great... But an 8, who thinks I'm an 8, might be more content...:laugh::wavey:


You make a helluva point!!!
Here's to gorgeous and stupid!!!;)

[chriskisn]

But why do you automatically assume that the 7 or 8 is necessarily a nicer/smarter/funnier person than the 10? A haughty 10 is not nearly as obnoxious as a haughty 7 or 8 with the self-image of a 10. I think it's interesting that people are willing to assume the worst about attractive people- as if we are trying to find something, anything, that shatters this illusion of perfection.

I hate to admit this, but if I had to choose between 1) being exceptionally physically attractive AND stupid, or 2) being exceptionally brilliant intellectually AND hideous (by most objective criteria), I would choose to be pretty and stupid. Sure, being intellectually superior is a great, admirable thing. But at the end of the day, who has the easier/happier life? The person with the looks usually wins in the end. I would rather be adored/worshipped and oblivious to my own stupidity than being acutely self-aware and shunned/ridiculed by people who are beneath me mentally. It's sad but true.

I guess the flip side of that coin though is would you rather date someone who is gorgeous and stupid or intelligent and hideous. In a long term situation I think I'd go for the intelligent person, because I couldn't handle spending my life with someone who was empty headed.

[markolas]

I'm still confused as to how I apparently "look straight," and whether or not that's a good thing.

[vivfox]

In retrospect of what I wrote earlier I want you to know it hurts to be so revealing about oneself. It's like opening an old wound and allowing you to throw salt in it. However, the reason I did so is for the person or people who feel the exact same way I do to know they are not alone in their fears. We are all part of the Fleetwood Mac family and it is through our writings we come to know and understand each other. Hopefully my writing can act as a healer for somebody else's sorrow.

With love, Viv

[Bryan]

I hate to admit this, but if I had to choose between 1) being exceptionally physically attractive AND stupid, or 2) being exceptionally brilliant intellectually AND hideous (by most objective criteria), I would choose to be pretty and stupid. Sure, being intellectually superior is a great, admirable thing. But at the end of the day, who has the easier/happier life? The person with the looks usually wins in the end.

You mean like MARILYN MONROE? and that's just one example.
Beauty can be a terrible curse,How silly to make such a statement,beauty is only perceived.What one finds attractive,another may not.There are no rules,nor right or wrong.
But this thread is bad news,Americans are notoriously shallow (particularly New Yorkers ha!) so I best run..i'm not up for arguing on it

[David]

I hate to admit this, but if I had to choose between 1) being exceptionally physically attractive AND stupid, or 2) being exceptionally brilliant intellectually AND hideous (by most objective criteria), I would choose to be pretty and stupid. Sure, being intellectually superior is a great, admirable thing. But at the end of the day, who has the easier/happier life? The person with the looks usually wins in the end. I would rather be adored/worshipped and oblivious to my own stupidity than being acutely self-aware and shunned/ridiculed by people who are beneath me mentally. It's sad but true.UNLESS ... unless you have the intellect of, say, Sherlock Holmes. Now THAT would rock, regardless of what you looked like. Imagine you could solve all the unsolvable crimes in Los Angeles. Imagine all the detectives running to YOU to help them. What sweet joy to have a brain so adept at induction!

I'd also like to add that we're all ultimately beautiful--when we behave kindly and generously. It's only our deeds that turn our faces into putrid piles of poopoo. The Witch of the North was right: Only bad witches are ugly.

[fringed n fab]

Seems like a stupid site. There are always plenty of us who feel or see something else attractive in/about someone that others do not. I once worked with a fairly attractive, decently built girl who only found overly obese men attractive and admiring. It's always to each their own I guess. I think we all are different in what we find attractive in someone. I'd never join such a site anyway even though I don't think I'm ugly. If anything, I'm just Me.

[Macfanforever]

I won't make the site.

[fringed n fab]

If you think about it, pretty people don't usually work out after awhile anyway because both end up so full of themselves so sit back and let those kinds have their fun for a minute.

[chriskisn]

Gay men are so shallow(myself included) that we know if another guy ain't a hottie there is very little interest in pursuing him. Rant over.

Interesting though that I used to work with a guy who was about sixty and hunchback and probably would generally be regarded as not an attractive man (and oh god he smelled bad too) but one day he came in to work and introduced me to his boyfriend, a young guy in his twenties. So I guess there is someone for everyone somewhere.

[fringed n fab]

Interesting though that I used to work with a guy who was about sixty and hunchback and probably would generally be regarded as not an attractive man (and oh god he smelled bad too) but one day he came in to work and introduced me to his boyfriend, a young guy in his twenties. So I guess there is someone for everyone somewhere.

It seems that way.

I don't think I look for a beautiful person physically, maybe just attractive in ways that others might not look twice about someone. Sometimes I just want a nice handsome man.

http://i1229.photobucket.com/albums/ee466/fringedNfab/candid.png


Other times I find the no muss no fuss low maintenance ones attractive, ones who are sexy without even trying to be. It just depends. As a side note, who knew Wranglers could look so good? Even the guy on tv must think so. :lol:

http://i1229.photobucket.com/albums/ee466/fringedNfab/store.jpg

[HejiraNYC]

You mean like MARILYN MONROE? and that's just one example.
Beauty can be a terrible curse,How silly to make such a statement,beauty is only perceived.What one finds attractive,another may not.There are no rules,nor right or wrong.
But this thread is bad news,Americans are notoriously shallow (particularly New Yorkers ha!) so I best run..i'm not up for arguing on it

Oh, yes, beauty is such a terrible curse. :rolleyes: :lol: Really? Ask a physically unattractive person whether beauty is a curse. It's so charitable for people to go around saying that "beauty is on the inside" and "beauty fades," etc. when the reality is that everyone, and I mean everyone has physical standards. If you truly believe there is anyone out there who is absolutely 100% oblivious to physical attractiveness, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

And really, how did America suddenly corner the market on shallowness? The countries with the highest number of plastic surgery procedures per capita in the world are in far east Asia (South Korea is #1), followed by a number of South American countries.

[vivfox]

Interesting though that I used to work with a guy who was about sixty and hunchback and probably would generally be regarded as not an attractive man (and oh god he smelled bad too) but one day he came in to work and introduced me to his boyfriend, a young guy in his twenties. So I guess there is someone for everyone somewhere.


$$Money makes the world go round$$

[chiliD]

Imagine you could solve all the unsolvable crimes in Los Angeles. .

There are only 2 that I'd like to be "the guy who solved it".

1) The case of the Black Dahlia.

2) Who REALLY shot RFK at the Ambassador Hotel in '68.

[WildHearted]

I don't believe beauty is a curse but I also don't think it's the answer to all problems or anything.

[wondergirl9847]

If you truly believe there is anyone out there who is absolutely 100% oblivious to physical attractiveness, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

The blind. ;)

[TrueFaith77]

$$Money makes the world go round$$

I always looked forward to being a dirty old man... until I realized (too late) that I'd be a poor, dirty old man. :( :laugh:

[Bryan]

To elaborate on what I mean when I say beauty can be a curse.
The lengths people who become consumed by it go to in order to (try &) maintain it

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/K3svFX1D16Q" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ERsRO6oxDqw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

As well as all the other botched ops that everyone knows of via media. (Wildenstein etc)

Once they've had it they can't let it go,but nature insists--they must!

[markolas]

I'd rather be dead than stupid, no matter what I looked like. Maybe it would be different if I didn't know I was stupid. :laugh:

That said, I think intelligence is a bigger curse than beauty. There are days when I think I'll need a frontal lobotomy to be able to get along in this world.

[Rod~A~Little]

Well Stevie must have never used this site, because she only dates ugly men! (except Lindsey)........juuuuusssssst kidding......maybe!

:laugh:

[HomerMcvie]

Well Stevie must have never used this site, because she only dates ugly men! (except Lindsey)........juuuuusssssst kidding......maybe!

:laugh:

Are you implying that Mick and Joe Walsh are ugly?:mad:






Oh wait, you're right!!!!:lol:

[Macfanforever]

Well Stevie must have never used this site, because she only dates ugly men! (except Lindsey)........juuuuusssssst kidding......maybe!

:laugh:

Hehehehe,LOL,,,,,I should have no problem with Stevie .I fit the bill.

[iamnotafraid]

I just wish I was attractive enough for anybody to be interested. Nobody ever has...


Don't be silly, you're very attractive.

[APerfectLie]

Didn't you people ever watch Nip/Tuck?

Beauty is a curse on the world, it keeps us from seeing who the real monsters are ;)

[HomerMcvie]

That said, I think intelligence is a bigger curse than beauty. There are days when I think I'll need a frontal lobotomy to be able to get along in this world.

I missed this earlier, but I concur. Most of the friends I have, that have serious "mental health/depression" issues, are extremely intelligent. I truly believe that there's a correlation between the two...between "not being able to stop processing/worrying", and the rest of us, who can just say f*ck it, and let it go. I'm sure that other factors are involved as well, but...again, I've just always noticed that my "troubled" friends are always very intelligent.

[Sleepless-Child]

The blind. ;)

:nod: :laugh: BAM !!

I think, for most people, it's all about self-confidence, and i have nothing more to say.
Attractiveness has A LOT to do with self-confidence. So, at the end of the day, i think everything comes down to what's in your head, not on your face.

[Macfanforever]

Didn't you people ever watch Nip/Tuck?

Beauty is a curse on the world, it keeps us from seeing who the real monsters are ;)

I've never watch that show.

[darklinensuit]

My 1st thought on hearing of that dating website was of the computer dating application scene in Harold and Maude, where the awful mother says it's obviously a company with high standards because they screen out the ugly. Somehow not as funny in real life.

- Jake

[sodascouts]

This is an interesting discussion; here's my two cents.

My two sisters are very beautiful - yet both of them struggle with eating disorders and never truly feel pretty, no matter how many times you tell them they are. However, since they place so much value on looks and equate "thinner" with "prettier", they wind up hurting themselves. One of them is still in treatment - and she's a bombshell. I'm not just saying that. She was once approached by a modeling agency.

Then, there's me - the "ugly duckling" of the family. My entire life, I've been "the smart one." I'm not repulsive-looking; I'd call my looks "average." Still, I recognize I am not beautiful in the traditional sense - certainly not in comparison to my sisters.

Have I wanted to look better? Yes. Have I made concerted efforts to look better? Yes. Do I like it when people tell me I look good? Yes. I do value beauty and want to be perceived as attractive. Ideally, I'd be both smart AND beautiful - and there are plenty of people out there who are both smart and intelligent.

However, valuing beauty over intelligence? Not so much. I would never give up my brains for looks. Perhaps that's why I'm the only one of my family who hasn't had an eating disorder. I know how to value myself in a way that does not depend on pleasing others.

Since the concept of beauty is defined by society, those who value it above intelligence are by definition more dependent on external reinforcement from others to determine their self-worth. I'd rather not depend on others for personal validation.

If someone tells me that I'm worse off being smart instead of beautiful, well, all I can do is thank God I don't share that opinion or I'd spend the rest of my life feeling like crap.

Sadly, many unattractive people do buy into that opinion, and many of them do spend their lives feeling like crap. It's not just unattractive people, either; as this thread demonstrates, many attractive people also buy into that opinion. Unfortunately, since looks inevitably fade, attractive people who define themselves by their looks are going to start having some problems.

Still, I don't begrudge attractive people for making the most of their looks while they can and feeling good about the way they look. There's nothing wrong with that. It's only when beauty becomes more important than anything else that it can lead to issues. My sisters have proven that to me.

[David]

Beauty without the beloved is like a sword through the heart.
--Rossetti

And you've been everywhere
And you live in dark shadows
You do what you want to
There's no Beauty and the Beast here
--Stevie Nicks