What do you do to build self confidence?

[PolishStevieFan]

Lately I've been reading a lot of psychological books concerned with the topic of self-confidence and must say that most of them are rubbish:) I wonder what you do Dear Ledgies to keep up your self assurance. I think most of us have problems from time to time with maintaining satisfying level of this state of mind. Have you got your own tips on how to achieve success in this realm? Share some own psychological knowledge!

[beccamorrisfift]

"Fake it till you make it."
The way I stay confident is by acting confident. I walk around school like I own it, some people probably think I'm an arrogant bitch and I guess I am, but it works for me.
Also, not looking in the mirror a lot and not walking towards reflective surfaces helps. :laugh:

[wild-heart]

LOL Becca I was going to say that...I don't look in the mirror.

I just don't care, i used to really, really care what people thought of me and i spent a lot of time worrying about how other people percieved me. But you know what, life is way too short. If you are happy with yourself then noone elses opinion should matter. At times my confidence and faith in myself do falter but I put on a Courtney Love album and remember everything that makes me happy. Life is great :D

[Fireflies]

life your life in a way that makes you happy, surrounded by people who truly love you and who you'd do anything for--and you'll be fine. your confidence should be based solely on this!

however, i find strangling stray cats to be effective.

[PolishStevieFan]

Well, I'm not afraid of looking into the mirror...:) To keep up my self confidence I usually try to remind myself all these powerful and thought provoking song lyrics that inspire me to act confidently. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I think it all depends on situation. The important thing is also not to try to compare myself to other people. It's hard to bypass this thing in everyday life but it might bring a lot of joy when you realize that no one is better than you, he/she is just different...not better, not worse just different. So another question is: "What can you do to stop comparing yourself to other people?"

[WildHearted]

Have no fear, only love.

[beccamorrisfift]

however, i find strangling stray cats to be effective.

Don't hurt cats.

[Silver Springs]

Don't hurt cats.

As somebody who volunteers a lot of her time to her local Cat Sanctuary (To the point of having names for all of the Cats and knowing them as her "babies"), I agree with this sentiment. :lol:

I know it seems almost twee to say it, but maintaining a sunny err often radiates inwards. As already stated, fake it until you make it. Aside from that, take steps to calm the worries and insecurities you have by trying to gain a deeper understanding of your inner self. Don't be afraid to spend time alone immersing yourself in what you love and getting to know yourself. Once you have a better understanding of your positive points, the perceived negative won't affect you as much. It took me a long time to realize it myself.

[ButterCookie]

Personally: wear a hell of a lot of make up.

Advice to others: Be proud of yourself, wake up telling yourself that today is a new day and you're going to own it.

[Silver Springs]

Personally: wear a hell of a lot of make up.

Oh pish! I've seen pictures of you without makeup (On Facebook, not on a hardcore stalker level, I hasten to add) and you look perfectly lovely.

[David]

I wonder what you do Dear Ledgies to keep up your self assurance. I pump iron and jog 2 miles every evening. That endorphin rush gives me a powerful self-confidence and a euphoria comparable to listening to a pre-War Bruno Walter recording of a Beethoven symphony.

[Blueletter18]

Have no fear, only love.

:nod: Perfect.

[Blueletter18]

I try to focus outside of myself and how I can help others around me, whether that includes being a good listener, setting aside time to tutor underclassmen at my college, lend support to my friends, and just set a good example and try to follow the lead of people who are my role models. I agree that not looking in the mirror more than, like, once a day helps too ;)

[LB Freakazoid]

I've always had the philosophy - since I was 8 years old - though my mom says 4 - that it is my mind and my body - I will feed it, think it, *and dress it how I see fit...
Growing older, I went on to believe that the life that I live is for me to create... If I want to the sky in my world to be orange - it was - however it may be.... and by fabulous sunsets....

The fine line between self confidence and arrogance is blurry...
And many lessons are learned along the way...

But I personally find self confidence is found when you know who and where you are and always willing to learn from anyone and from circumstances around you... Being open to what is around you and not dismissing even the trivial... and accepting the lessons being presented to you - realizing them in their true form gives a true sense of self... The mistakes along the way are presented to help you see who you are... It's always your choice which way to go.... The choices that are made - and if excuses are made - well then, maybe even you don't beleive you have made the right choices - but the ego is defending itself.... When you do make choices that you feel are right for you.... Things shift and feel right.... This is where self confidence grows.....

Ok... Done with the wine... Good night!

[iamnotafraid]

As somebody who volunteers a lot of her time to her local Cat Sanctuary (To the point of having names for all of the Cats and knowing them as her "babies"), I agree with this sentiment. :lol:

What do you think of cat juggling?
It's rampant down here in the South.
Videos of it will make you cry.

[tilthefirefades]

It may sound gimmicky, but the book True You by Janet Jackson is something that increased my self confidence. I still struggle, but she helped me very much. It could also be that I love her dearly, but the book was an amazing read for me.

[HomerMcvie]

I try to focus outside of myself and how I can help others around me, whether that includes being a good listener, setting aside time to tutor underclassmen at my college, lend support to my friends, and just set a good example and try to follow the lead of people who are my role models. I agree that not looking in the mirror more than, like, once a day helps too ;)

~Like button~

[PolishStevieFan]

It may sound gimmicky, but the book True You by Janet Jackson is something that increased my self confidence. I still struggle, but she helped me very much. It could also be that I love her dearly, but the book was an amazing read for me.

Well I have been a die hard fan of Janet for about 20 years so I understand how you can take examples from her. Her "Rhythm Nation 1814" album really changed my way of thinking. It sounds funny but that's how it was. Her song "Knowledge" has become my anthem :) And I think the lyrics for this song correspond with the topic of self-confidence...In many ways being self-confident means being knowledgeable about surrounding world.

[tilthefirefades]

Well I have been a die hard fan of Janet for about 20 years so I understand how you can take examples from her. Her "Rhythm Nation 1814" album really changed my way of thinking. It sounds funny but that's how it was. Her song "Knowledge" has become my anthem :) And I think the lyrics for this song correspond with the topic of self-confidence...In many ways being self-confident means being knowledgeable about surrounding world.

I know what you mean, Janet is the reason I am who I am today. I discovered her in 95 (when I was just 4 years old) and begged my mom for Design of a Decade. In 97, beyond toys and games, I only wanted Velvet Rope, and that is one album that I can say truly changed my life. Ever since then, I've been a writer and my love for her has not changed....Well beyond the really crappy albums she's come out with :lol:

But really, as much as I love Stevie (an insanely unhealthy amount) Janet was not only my first favorite artist, but role model and really, my life coach.

[MacShadowsBall]

Self-confidence has alot to dot with who you assoicate with also. Hanging around many negative people that give off that bad energy does not help one's self-confidence.

[ButterCookie]

Oh pish! I've seen pictures of you without makeup (On Facebook, not on a hardcore stalker level, I hasten to add) and you look perfectly lovely.

No you haven't :) It might look like I'm not wearing any but I will have at least some on.

[PolishStevieFan]

Self-confidence has alot to dot with who you assoicate with also. Hanging around many negative people that give off that bad energy does not help one's self-confidence.

You're absolutely right! And I read somewhere that these people are called "energy vampires" ... and for a reason, they suck up all your positive energy..."Energy Vampires" great title for Stevie's next song :)

[estranged4life]

in my music collection is what helps me out - been helping the past few days :nod:

[PolishStevieFan]

I know what you mean, Janet is the reason I am who I am today. I discovered her in 95 (when I was just 4 years old) and begged my mom for Design of a Decade. In 97, beyond toys and games, I only wanted Velvet Rope, and that is one album that I can say truly changed my life. Ever since then, I've been a writer and my love for her has not changed....Well beyond the really crappy albums she's come out with :lol:

But really, as much as I love Stevie (an insanely unhealthy amount) Janet was not only my first favorite artist, but role model and really, my life coach.

Janet, Janet... I could write book about this woman! I totally understand your admiration towards "The Velvet Rope". Really, it is eyes-opening, intellectual and emotional experience full of memorable music. And to be honest I always find some positive moments even on the crappiest Janet's albums. For example I love "Damita Jo". It's just great album, especially "Island Life" and "All Nite". On "20 Y.O." (for me the worst album that she's recorded) I love "Enjoy", "This Body" and "Show Me". "Design of a Decade" was my first original Janet's cassette:) Now I replaced it with "The Best" (in US "Number Ones"). Great album, great music, great body of work...simply timeless...just like STEVIE :)

[Ghost_Tracker]

Tell your bandmates and ex-boyfriend to kiss off for awhile, write a solo album, and go out on tour for a few months while having the last show recorded for HBO.
Works like a charm, from what I hear. :nod:


On a more-literal note, try to keep in mind that each and every person in the room has asked his or herself the same exact question more than once in their life. Probably even that morning! :)

[Sleepless-Child]

"Fake it till you make it."
The way I stay confident is by acting confident. I walk around school like I own it, some people probably think I'm an arrogant bitch and I guess I am, but it works for me.
Also, not looking in the mirror a lot and not walking towards reflective surfaces helps. :laugh:

This!

Have no fear, only love.

Nice! :)



I know it seems almost twee to say it, but maintaining a sunny err often radiates inwards. As already stated, fake it until you make it. Aside from that, take steps to calm the worries and insecurities you have by trying to gain a deeper understanding of your inner self. Don't be afraid to spend time alone immersing yourself in what you love and getting to know yourself. Once you have a better understanding of your positive points, the perceived negative won't affect you as much. It took me a long time to realize it myself.

See, i'd love to be more like this. That's funny but focusing on myself kind of tends to make me depressed and not confident at all. I like being alone but it has a strange impact on me.

Personally: wear a hell of a lot of make up.

Advice to others: Be proud of yourself, wake up telling yourself that today is a new day and you're going to own it.

This also!

[Sleepless-Child]

I try to focus outside of myself and how I can help others around me, whether that includes being a good listener, setting aside time to tutor underclassmen at my college, lend support to my friends, and just set a good example and try to follow the lead of people who are my role models. I agree that not looking in the mirror more than, like, once a day helps too ;)

Like button also. That's my solution, though i wouldn't say that i'm that good of a listener, but i try!
Though i think it's pretty natural for everyone to have self-confidence issues, though i could do without them.