A disturbing PM I just received that needs to be openly discussed

[TrueFaith77]

I just received the following PM from DavidMN:

Listen up, I am sick and tired of you talking about me behind my back to people here. I dont appreciate it, and you better knock it the F**K off got it?

Normally, I would simply respect this request and deal with those who may have relayed this information back to DavidMN in a more private fashion. However, because his PM to me ended with what seems like a threat, I have to address this publicly and I have to address this with Moderators, who I hope will advise as to proper etiquette on the board.

First of all, I want to apologize to DavidMN. I am gossipy, but also I am self-deprecating: the story to which DavidMN is referring acted as a humorous tale of my own fallibility--a fallibility that presents itself when people meet outside of an Internet forum and in the real world. That story could have been told without being specific. Honestly, I don't remember if other people were talking about DavidMN, and that's why I was also specific or if it was just my own bad judgement and bad taste and bad heartedness. Again, I apologize.

I admire DavidMN's ability to put himself out there, which means opening himself up to the possibility of ridicule. And I failed that trust.

On a personal note: I need to reconsider the people with whom I share personal, private experiences. I tend to be very shy (most who attend NOTS will note that I go alone and then talk to nobody). However, when I do decide to open myself up--a gambit I took with the members of the Webster Hall Gang--I tend to be too trusting of people, and that includes being willing to show aspects of myself that may be unattractive.

I have heard a lot of people's stories and opinions about other members of this board (not just DavidMN). I would never relay that back to the subjects because I believe--for all my gossiping!--we have a bond to be respected. Someone in the Webster Hall Gang is trying to stir up trouble--maybe acting out of an allegiance to DavidMN or, more likely, a dislike of me--but either way, that person did not stand up for DavidMN to my face--as I HAVE done for some here who have been talked about by others.

I would hope that person or persons would reveal him/herself here so that I don't have to cast suspicion on everyone--that is unfair to them and to me.

Anyway... I do suspect that many will be happy to know that I revoke my membership in the Webster Hall Gang.

[fumidesigns]

I have a problem with this! I do not appreciate the stabbing right now! Wtf!?

[Jondalar]

oh hell, people say things about me all the time on this thing. Why do you care? Garbage in, garbage out!

[fumidesigns]

oh hell, people say things about me all the time on this thing. Why do you care? Garbage in, garbage out!

Y not care? I like to think that I met some wonderful, beautiful, fun and caring people on this board. It really bothers me to know that folks are talking behind other's backs!!! With that being said......IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT ME, PLEASE FEEL FREE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU R APART OF THE "CREW"

[mezzoforte]

The Webster Hall Gang--we sound so threatening, don't we? I hope you aren't really revoking "membership," John. I've always enjoyed your presence and humor.

Are we all meant to plead innocence here? I can honestly say I haven't spoken to David since Red Rocks, and have never relayed any negative stories I may have heard about him.
Good luck to all involved. Hoping for a peaceful resolution.

[Silver Springs]

Although this really has nothing to do with me, owing to the fact that I don't even know what the Webster Hall thing even is lol, I'm not entirely sure that I'm comfortable with this kind of laundry being aired so publicly. Have you spoken with a mod in private about your concerns? It feels a little like one of those threads that will inevitably end in a ****storm to me, and Buddha knows we've had enough conflict here lately.

Just my two penneth. :shrug:

[fumidesigns]

From the "horse's mouth", what was allegedly said about you?

[RickRobert]

I check back here and everyone's acting like five year olds. Lovely.

[TrueFaith77]

Although this really has nothing to do with me, owing to the fact that I don't even know what the Webster Hall thing even is lol, I'm not entirely sure that I'm comfortable with this kind of laundry being aired so publicly. Have you spoken with a mod in private about your concerns? It feels a little like one of those threads that will inevitably end in a ****storm to me, and Buddha knows we've had enough conflict here lately.

Just my two penneth. :shrug:

As I stated, I agree that this should not have gotten to the point that it needed to be taken to the public forum. However, consider the nature of the note I received, which is:

1) vague re: the "sh*t" I'm being accused of talking
2) failing to mention the source who made this accusation
3) contains the false inference that there was more than one occasion that I've ever said anything about DavidMN in my life
4) the threatening tone at the end of the message

If David had asked for clarification, I would have offered it.

If he had demanded an apology, he would have gotten it. Causing him pain was not my intent, but it may have been the consequence of something I relayed to the Gang. For that I am genuinely sorry.

If he had not been threatening in the message, I would have asked him to clarify points 1, 2, 3--and addressed the situation from there in private with him and his source.

However, he has put me in the position of feeling physically unsafe every time I go to a Mac-related concert. He has accused me of an act that I may not have committed (and thus could be falsely accused of doing again--thus leading to that threat being acted upon). He has put me in the position of suspecting everyone in the entire Gang of being untrustworthy and a troublemaker who doesn't care about my safety, which is unfair to all except for the actual backstabber.

All of this means that this has gone too far in the non-public realm.

If someone threatens me, I'll make sure there are witnesses.

And if someone is trying to cause trouble, I think that person should step up.

As for going directly to a Mod, I suppose I should have tried that first to find out if that would lead to an appropriate resolution, but then I would have ended up calling up friends and telling them about the situation and it would have been more "behind the scenes" gossip and games of telephone.

I am hopeful the mods will advise as to what is appropriate--publicly--so that everybody is on the same page.

[HomerMcvie]

Remember when I said a couple of days ago, how I copy and save Ledge train wrecks, before the thread gets deleted?

This.would.be.a.good.example. :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[fumidesigns]

I check back here and everyone's acting like five year olds. Lovely.

First of all, it's more like highschool not kindergarten. Secondly, I consider these folks my friends so watch it. That comment, imo, was NOT neccessary.

[fumidesigns]

Remember when I said a couple of days ago, how I copy and save Ledge train wrecks, before the thread gets deleted?

This.would.be.a.good.example. :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

U r so silly! Lmbao!!!!!

[HomerMcvie]

U r so silly! Lmbao!!!!!

I am VERY silly. And while I don't like participating in drama, it's kind of fascinating, watching it all play out, waiting for the train to come off the tracks.

We could wager, on how many minutes it takes, for thread deletion!:lol:

[Silver Springs]

As for going directly to a Mod, I suppose I should have tried that first to find out if that would lead to an appropriate resolution, but then I would have ended up calling up friends and telling them about the situation and it would have been more "behind the scenes" gossip and games of telephone.

I am hopeful the mods will advise as to what is appropriate--publicly--so that everybody is on the same page.

I stand vehemently behind my first post. Not going to argue my case, however, as I fully expect you to waste time further on a well constructed response that will be received by somebody firmly set in their opinion. Good luck with your issue, and I hope whatever you hoped to achieve with this cumbersome thread is the outcome thereof.


I am VERY silly. And while I don't like participating in drama, it's kind of fascinating, watching it all play out, waiting for the train to come off the tracks.

We could wager, on how many minutes it takes, for thread deletion!:lol:

I wager three Coconuts and a Chris De Burgh album on the thread vanishing miraculously overnight along with all mentions of it in the thinking thread.

[Christopher]

The Webster Hall Gang--we sound so threatening, don't we? I hope you aren't really revoking "membership," John. I've always enjoyed your presence and humor.

Are we all meant to plead ignorance here? I can honestly say I haven't spoken to David since Red Rocks, and have never relayed any negative stories I may have heard about him.
Good luck to all involved. Hoping for a peaceful resolution.

This is really sucky :distress: Yes, we all put ourselves out there for potential scrutiny when we meet in the real world. But the implications directly to the Webster Hall Crew are disconcerting to me (sharing in part of that experience). From my perspective, we all had a fun & frivolous night of getting to know each other over several hours, musing about everything Stevie. Simultaneously celebrating the release of "In Your Dreams", while mourning the cancellation of Webster. And I agree Mimi, I too "met some wonderful, beautiful, fun and caring people on this board"! :) Personally, I do not participate in PMing much at all, unless it serves utilitarian purposes and would never engage in a smear campaign of another Ledgie! And besides, I've not had the opportunity of meeting David. What is this? High School drama!?!:rolleyes: Whomever is involved, I hope this can be remedied maturely and dignified. :angel:

[TrueFaith77]

I stand vehemently behind my first post. Not going to argue my case, however, as I fully expect you to waste time further on a well constructed response that will be received by somebody firmly set in their opinion. Good luck with your issue, and I hope whatever you hoped to achieve with this cumbersome thread is the outcome thereof.




I wager three Coconuts and a Chris De Burgh album on the thread vanishing miraculously overnight along with all mentions of it in the thinking thread.

If I had known u could read my mind, I wouldn't have wasted time with a written response.

[fumidesigns]

I am VERY silly. And while I don't like participating in drama, it's kind of fascinating, watching it all play out, waiting for the train to come off the tracks.

We could wager, on how many minutes it takes, for thread deletion!:lol:

True!!!!! It will be shut down soon lmao!

[Silver Springs]

If I had known u could read my mind, I wouldn't have wasted time with a written response.

If I'd have known you wouldn't have read the full comment and gotten the point of the full sentence, rather jumped the gun, I wouldn't have bothered writing it.

"Not going to argue my case, however, as I fully expect you to waste time further on a well constructed response that will be received by somebody firmly set in their opinion. "

Think about what this is saying. Basically, I'm not about to change my mind, thus why the argument wasn't needed. And I also wished you luck. A POSITIVE comment. You know, not derogatory? I know it's rare for The Ledge, but it does happen.

[fumidesigns]

Dammit!!!! Can I get a Webster Hall group hug!?!? I don't like this! Yall know I'm all about togetherness and fun! I don't want anyone to leave!

[HomerMcvie]

I wager three Coconuts and a Chris De Burgh album on the thread vanishing miraculously overnight along with all mentions of it in the thinking thread.

I'll wager Stevie's OSOTM, that it doesn't last two more hours!:p

[Silver Springs]

I'll wager Stevie's OSOTM, that it doesn't last two more hours!:p

This could actually be a good method of getting rid of our shi**y albums, to wager in this little fun box. I do have a couple of Tanita Tikeram albums to get rid of, so put another bet down for next June, a warmish day, at 2:54 precisely.

[Eugene]

http://i660.photobucket.com/albums/uu328/zerosignal/662814-simpsons_homer_eating_popcorn_large.jpg

[fumidesigns]

Urgh! Y can't the person that heard this crap about him just come clear it up!? Who said what, or allegedly said what!?

I don't like it when ppl r uncomfortable! This really bothers me!!!!!!!

Ima take a looooong break....starting now!

[HomerMcvie]

This could actually be a good method of getting rid of our shi**y albums, to wager in this little fun box. I do have a couple of Tanita Tikeram albums to get rid of, so put another bet down for next June, a warmish day, at 2:54 precisely.

BUSTED!!!! Indeedioso. I was trying to get rid of the shi**iest, in my CD collection!:lol:
Kind of like wagering your toenail clippings!:lol:

:thumbsup:

[HomerMcvie]

http://i660.photobucket.com/albums/uu328/zerosignal/662814-simpsons_homer_eating_popcorn_large.jpg

~Ledge "like" button~

[Silver Springs]

Kind of like wagering your toenail clippings!:lol:

Now now. If we had such impressive offerings as toenail clippings, we'd be obliged to refer to ourselves henceforth as Ebay. ;)

[HomerMcvie]

Now now. If we had such impressive offerings as toenail clippings, we'd be obliged to refer to ourselves henceforth as Ebay. ;)

I'll put the quality of my toenail clipping up against OSOTM, ANY DAY!:woohoo:

[MacFan92]

http://i660.photobucket.com/albums/uu328/zerosignal/662814-simpsons_homer_eating_popcorn_large.jpg

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

[TrueFaith77]

This is really sucky :distress: Yes, we all put ourselves out there for potential scrutiny when we meet in the real world. But the implications directly to the Webster Hall Crew are disconcerting to me (sharing in part of that experience). From my perspective, we all had a fun & frivolous night of getting to know each other over several hours , musing about Stevie - all at once celebrating the release of "In Your Dreams", while mourning the cancellation of Webster. And I agree Mimi, I too "met some wonderful, beautiful, fun and caring people on this board"! :) I personally do not participate in PMing much at all, unless it serves utilitarian purposes and would never engage in a smear campaign, not to mention, I have not had the opportunity of meeting DavidMN. What is this? High School drama!?!:rolleyes: Whomever is involved, I hope this can be remedied maturely and dignified. :angel:

Christopher, I want to address this directly. Please know that I am in agreement with you. Whoever went behind my back and said I was talking "sh*t" about DavidMN has put everybody who participated in the Crew (not Gang, sorry) on blast. That is why, to mimi's point, I hope that person reveals him or herself and provides an explanation--thus clearing all the doubt and suspicion they generated about the Crew.

I've made my apologies and fessed up to my indiscretion.

[mylittledemon]

I just received the following PM from DavidMN:

Listen up, I am sick and tired of you talking about me behind my back to people here. I dont appreciate it, and you better knock it the F**K off got it?

Normally, I would simply respect this request and deal with those who may have relayed this information back to DavidMN in a more private fashion. However, because his PM to me ended with what seems like a threat, I have to address this publicly and I have to address this with Moderators, who I hope will advise as to proper etiquette on the board.


Proper etiquette would've been to not post the contents of the private msg. I'm not accusing you of the following, but case in point... the "content" of DavidMN's message which you posted above could've been written by you or anyone else for that matter.

A more appropriate solution to this issue would've been to deal with DavidMN directly or bring it to the attention of one, or all of the moderators.

I do however appreciate your need to publicly apologize to him.

[TrueFaith77]

Proper etiquette would've been to not post the contents of the private msg. I'm not accusing you of the following, but case in point... the "content" of DavidMN's message which you posted above could've been written by you or anyone else for that matter.

A more appropriate solution to this issue would've been to deal with DavidMN directly or bring it to the attention of one, or all of the moderators.

I do however appreciate your need to publicly apologize to him.

I fwd'd the content to a moderator. Is there a way for a moderator or the owner of the site to verify that that is indeed the original content?

Worse comes to worst, I will hand out my password for all to see the message and then leave The Ledge forever. But thank you for revealing yet another layer of doubt and rumour that the backstabber has permitted to take place.

I would agree with all of your other suggestions if the note had not been threatening. I consider it a threat.

Moderators can determine if my or David's actions are appropriate, and I submit to their best judgement.

What moderators can't do is find out who in the midst of the Crew is causing trouble. The Ledge, however, is why we met, so the Ledge is where I hope it can be settled.

[fumidesigns]

Had to come back for a second. MLD, are you a moderator? This is a serious question.

[Silver Springs]

Had to come back for a second. MLD, are you a moderator? This is a serious question.

Doesn't look as though he's online, but Moderator is underneath his username in his tags. I can't remember when he became a mod but I don't think it's been long. Maybe a few months.

[HomerMcvie]

Yes, we all put ourselves out there for potential scrutiny when we meet in the real world.

I've only met 3 Ledgies, one time. And had the best time ever. Ledgies who drink together, get along very well...:thumbsup:

[HomerMcvie]

Doesn't look as though he's online, but Moderator is underneath his username in his tags. I can't remember when he became a mod but I don't think it's been long. Maybe a few months.

I think the mods remove their online status, so they can watch the plundering and pillaging, undetected. Yeah, he's been a mod for a few months now. He does a good job, too.(asskiss mode off now :rolleyes: )

[fumidesigns]

Ok.....after this post, I will not be back, either for a few months or forever......haven't decided yet.

What I don't understand is this:

How can you tell someone what's proper in the midst of doing the wrong thing???!!!! If what TrueFaith did was wrong, y not PM him, as a moderator, and explain to him what you don't want on these boards? Instead of using "proper etiquette" MyLittleDemon, you did exactly what he did by airing your views on the board. Interesting...... Y not lead by example? Everyone wants to preach, but no one wants to bow before God.

If this post gets me banned, then so be it. I will say what's on my mind, especially when I think someone is hurting, or wronging, someone I know! If any moderator, or fellow ledgie, would like to voice their opinion on this post, please feel free to use other social media.

Xoxo & twirls,

MiMi

[HomerMcvie]

Ok.....after this post, I will not be back, either for a few months or forever......haven't decided yet.


MiMi

I have taken this action, several times on the Ledge. Sometimes it's......just TIME for it. I took a few months off, and only recently returned(after receiving some joyous news:lol:).
Take some time away, and let this place just sit on the back burner for awhile. Then you'll feel like coming back.:wavey:

[mylittledemon]

Doing the wrong thing? I beg pardon. I didn't post the contents of a PM for everyone to see. I don't think you have any ground to stand on for the comment you just made.

These types of guidelines are made clear in the FAQ... I'm just re-stating them. If TrueFaith wants to discuss this matter publicly, there's a public response to be made to some degree. I didn't reprimand the user or take any action that needed to be "hidden" from the rest of you.


Ok.....after this post, I will not be back, either for a few months or forever......haven't decided yet.

What I don't understand is this:

How can you tell someone what's proper in the midst of doing the wrong thing???!!!! If what TrueFaith did was wrong, y not PM him, as a moderator, and explain to him what you don't want on these boards? Instead of using "proper etiquette" MyLittleDemon, you did exactly what he did by airing your views on the board. Interesting...... Y not lead by example? Everyone wants to preach, but no one wants to bow before God.

If this post gets me banned, then so be it. I will say what's on my mind, especially when I think someone is hurting, or wronging, someone I know! If any moderator, or fellow ledgie, would like to voice their opinion on this post, please feel free to use other social media.

Xoxo & twirls,

MiMi

[mylittledemon]

I think the mods remove their online status, so they can watch the plundering and pillaging, undetected. Yeah, he's been a mod for a few months now. He does a good job, too.(asskiss mode off now :rolleyes: )

Actually I don't even know how to do that... you guys can always see me when I'm online :D

[jannieC]

The best advise here is to ask you to please utilize the block option for PMs. No one deserves to be abused in any forum and if you feel that this is a problem, please let us know. Though moderators do not usually get involved in PM issues, it is noted that some abuse this feature.

There really isn't any reason to keep this discussion going.