January 6, 2009-January 6, 2011

[vivfox]

Today I can proudly say I am drug and alcohol free for two years!!!

Marijuana was my drug of choice. Sadly, I allowed myself to be higher than a kite throughout most of my adult life. Often I would shrug off the idea that I was a drug addict because I wasn't lying in an alley with a needle sticking out of my arm. I never tried "hard" drugs with the exception of cocaine. In my entire life I probably only did coke 20 times or less. Stevie would be proud. Marijuana was always enough for me.

Now that I have been clean, I can feel the effects it had on me that while under the influence I was completely unaware of. For example, are you aware that you slur your words when you are high? It's true. Two different friends told me I did that and that's how they could tell I was high when we talked on the phone. I used to be paranoid, always thinking the "strange man" was coming up the staircase to "get me." I thought I was paranormally psychic. Seeing or feeling the presents of ghosts just means you're high, nothing else. Even if you're not currently smoking, that sh%t lives in your system to destroy. It finally caused me to have lack of breathing attacks in the middle of the night. I'd wake up choking, begging my Higher Power to let me breathe so I could live. I have sleep apnea and have to sleep with a breathing mask on my face every night. The mask is connected to a machine by a tube. It's a pain in the a@@ to wear this thing. But I do it because it saves my life. A full two years later and I still have this breathing problem.

All of you pot and cigarette smokers beware because this breathing machine could be a fact of your future as well.

In 2003 I stopped smoking Pot with the intention of quitting for life. Without anyone's help I figured I'd be successful at it. Three weeks in when I felt the need to get high I drank some red wine. Merlot tasted good and gave me a quick buzz. For the next few months I drank wine on weekends only. But then the weekends started to increase to weekdays too and soon I realized that I was developing a desire for alcohol. I also drank tequilla, straight from the bottle.

Music and pot always went hand in hand. Forget about going to a concert unless I could get high there.

I decided to start smoking pot again because it was obvious to me I was not ready to surrender. From that point forward I enjoyed shots of tequilla with my marijuana. Most of the time I just smoked and occassionally I would drink with it.

Because of the sleep apnea attacks in late 2008 I decided it was time to stop. And stop everything! on January 5,2009 I smoked my last joint and drank my last shot.
I surrendered! I asked my Higher Power to take away the desire to use and to please keep me busy. The very next day the music in the car sounded better than it ever had when I was high. I could hear subtle nuances in the songs that I never had heard before. From that day forward I have been so busy I can barely keep up with myself. I'm always busy and I'm never bored. I love the "new" me.


In Narcotics Anonymous we are taught that "one is too many and a thousand is never enough."

[GypsyWonders92]

Wow, this is just such an amazing story. Congratulations! I admire you so much, you managed to get through not just one but TWO addictions. You have A LOT to be proud of and I'm sure everyone on here is very proud of you too! You're a real inspiration:D :D Well done!! :)

[David]

Congratulations!

Listen to Beethoven--not to Stevie Nicks--& you will be guided down the path of spiritual purity & drug-free cleanliness.

[daniellaaarisen]

Congrats, Mark! Proud of you!

[vivfox]

This is a copy of a note a friend e-mailed to me in response to what I wrote today.
She wrote:
Drugs are drugs whether it's pot, coke or the prescription pills I myself was addicted to and used to abuse at times in my past. Yeah, you were paranoid, alright, LOL. And I don't think you slurred your words so much as you just talked slower and became airheaded when you were high. I hated to tell you anything important when you were high cuz I knew you wouldn't remember it the next day. The smell of that **** drove me crazy, too! Do you know they make incense that smells like pot? Ew!

Ah, I remember all too good and well what it was like to have those near fatal asthma attacks when I smoked. When I had those attacks where I had to be rushed to the ER by ambulance, I didn't think I was going to make it at times! It was utterly terrifying. Unfortunately, it sometimes takes things to really come to a head before we get our act together.

Ciggies and phones used to go hand in hand for me. I think that's why I came to hate phones after quitting. Besides, I do have a hell of a lot more I do these days, too.

The only "bad" thing quitting smoking brought me was extra weight. But I'd rather stay fat than not breathe.

Congrats again, and remember, the longer you go drug and alcohol free, the less likely you will ever relapse. So keep on enjoying the new and busy you! I'm off to watch a movie before Jesse gets to engine gunning.

Hugz:)))

[mezzoforte]

Congratulations, Viv! What an achievement. I loved what you wrote about the music--conquering demons is obviously difficult, but opens us up to so much more of the world's beauty.

[GypsySorcerer]

Way to go, Mark!!! I'm so proud of you. :thumbsup:

[Nico]

Congratulations Vivfox. What an inspirational post. There is nothing better than first-hand experience and you expressed it all so well. Be proud of yourself because it was a MAJOR accomplishment. There are so many out there struggling every day with addictions of one kind or another and this type of post really gives them hope. Thanks for sharing.

[GODDESS6]

well done:nod:~

[cristochango]

Congrats! :)

[Nikolaj]

Nicely done, vivfox!
It is strange; and deceptive, for some-- how pot was said to be a non-addictive recreational drug.
If only I, as you did, had chosen red wine instead of delving into doctors when I quit toking.
It was much smarter of you not to take the pharmaceutical route, plus you knew when to stop the red wine and did it.
Congratulations there, Mister!
I know that the decades of pot smoking you wrote of is an indication, at least, of being addicted, and you beat it!
Show Off!
^No, not at all really, good work!
Two years, and with all that walking you do, your health must be thriving! You've likely prolonged your life ten years from the work you've done in the past two years and will prolong it another 10 years after 2 more years of this sober, healthy well-being.
I admire your strength and hard work and congratulate you on your inspiring achievement.

[holidayroad]

That's a wonderful accomplishment!!!! Congratulationns! :thumbsup: Thanks also for posting some of the bad effects that marijuana had on you. We have had some issues with my stepsons abusing marijuana and prescription drugs. I'm going to try to get them to read your post. Maybe they will be influenced by your experience.

[MissLadyLoki]

Congrats viv! You did a great job :nod:

[baboles]

Thank you for sharing your story! Congratulations Viv! I'm so proud of you!

[TerraRhiannon]

Wow, Congrats Viv! 2 years is really great. Way to go!! (:

[SuperFleetwood]

Good Job Viv!!!!!!! You did good!!

[Meowi]

Yay for Viv.
Stevie and Vivica would be very proud. :)

[vivfox]

I just got home from an event that was to honor me for my 2 year anniversary. 100 people were expected but when the event was planned we hadn't planned on the snow and ice storm along with it. Most people did not feel safe leaving their homes tonight so we had the event but only 30 people showed up. Major bummer. We made the best of the situation and all in all we still had a great time.

[T8rBoi]

Congratulations on your decision that pot and alcohol weren't for you. :)

It certainly isn't for everyone.

[Meowi]

Glad you had a good time, I'm sure we were all there in presence.
:D

[Nikolaj]

I just got home from an event that was to honor me for my 2 year anniversary. 100 people were expected but when the event was planned we hadn't planned on the snow and ice storm along with it. Most people did not feel safe leaving their homes tonight so we had the event but only 30 people showed up. Major bummer. We made the best of the situation and all in all we still had a great time.

Congrats on the turnout, Viv! 30 people is not bad, at all. You're more popular than Nancy Sinatra! Do you remember- I think you were in CT then, perhaps 12 years ago or so- the news stations were full of stories about Nancy's "comeback tour" hitting a small club in CT but it being quite the disaster- the number of people in the audience: 18. I forget where it was, not even a 'major' dive club like Toad's Place in New Haven, I don't think. Wherever she played, you still got more people than Miss Boots, herself. How does that grab you darlin?
My mom was a Nancy fan when I was a small child, thank you very much! That's why I know some song titles.
Me- I had rain in my freakin living room today of this stupid house! Not from the roof, or even the window, but from a window frame above the window. Fortunately, I was able to block it up with rags and double sided tape, and used 2 bath towels to sop up the water, til the contractor comes here tomorrow to spray silicone (?) outside by the gutters, which are filled with ice.
Similar scene at my parents front door, but fortunately, the raindrops were not falling inside their house, quite, almost- just between the storm door and the wooden front door, and the wooden 'step up' into the house, soaking wet and drip, drip, drip.
This winter s*cks!! How I wish I were still living in my apartment.
So, be happy with your 30 people, in the snow, ice and slush, and congrats on the achievement, again.
If I had a joint to smoke or knew where to get one, I'd be high as a kite right now. Good thing you don't know me, I'd be a bad influence! We can still say hi at the Mo, though. (Mohegan Sun).
"Just a part of life. I can see the light at the end of tunnel, I don't freak out as much anymore," I wrote just yesterday.
How long can this winter last, 2, 2 and a half more months?! :)

[Kena]

Congrats Viv!

2 years is great. It works if you work it! I've collected many keytags myself...unlike you I wasn't able to figure out how to get help for myself and it took some Divine Intervention. Saved my life though.

I can understand you being a little bit bummed about only 30 people showing up. It sounds like you made the best of it and had a great time...but ya know, people would go out in the bad weather to get high now wouldn't they?

Oh there I go again...with my debbie downers.

I wish you many more years of clean time....one day at a time!

Kena

[McTrouble]

Congrats on kicking the bad addictions, you are still left with a good one - being an "addicted" Ledgie!

[ragrsrocalot]

Congratulations. :thumbsup:

[vivfox]

Today I am drug and alcohol free for two and a half years!!! Gooooooooooooo Viv:woohoo::woohoo::woohoo::angel:

[daniellaaarisen]

Today I am drug and alcohol free for two and a half years!!! Gooooooooooooo Viv:woohoo::woohoo::woohoo::angel:

Awesome Mark! I've missed you around the boards lately. I'll give you a call tomorrow on my way home from work.

[Macfanforever]

Thats great Mark.Congratulations. I went through the booze thing about 25 years ago. hard stuff and Budweiser beer.I never smoked cig's.tried pot.It did nothing to me besides choaking me.drugs.No I never got involve with.keep it up.I'm proud of you.


P.S. The only drug my friends see me on is: Stevie Nicks......

[vivfox]

P.S. The only drug my friends see me on is: Stevie Nicks......


We're all hooked on that one and it feels damn good!!!:xoxo:

[Macfanforever]

We're all hooked on that one and it feels damn good!!!:xoxo:

Yes I agree 100 percent.Hehehehe....

[GypsySorcerer]

Way to go, Mark! Wishing you all the best. :)

[michelle2677]

congrats :)

i guess different people have different levels of addiction and for different things. i've always been terrified of trying drugs because i was afraid i'd get addicted instantly. with that said, for years i'd smoke cigarettes and never got addicted. i was surprised! one morning i was coughing up brown crap and thought "this is stupid! i'm not even addicted and i'm doing this to myself" so i never smoked again. my last boyfriend is a huge pothead. i'd smoked here and there for years but when we dated, that's all we did. sat, ate, drank, watched dexter and smoked pot. for months, day in and day out. i've smoked one time since the day i left him and never once "crave" pot. i'll do it every once in a while when there's a special occasion but to make it a lifestyle will not happen again. i really don't know why i was even doing it. i guess because it was there :laugh: i didn't even "LIKE" smoking with him because he wasn't any fun :laugh:

anyway, again, congrats and keep up the good work.