I dont know how I got so lucky to have an amazing friend like this....

[Enchanted_Stevi]

So my so called "best friend" has been bashing me on twitter and mocking me on twitter and saying things that are directed towards me via twitter. As well as making snarky remarks on my facebook and quoted hitler on my fb wall. So I sent Katie a message saying I was sorry for "ignoring" her this summer and over break and not really inviting her to stuff, but it hard to hang out with someone when they are always making fun of me and putting me down. She has been very negative towards me. So my gf's sister got a message from Katie yesterday. Which was pretty much a "Caitlin Bashing Essay" I like to call it. So, I thought I'd show you guys and see what you guys think. Katie and I have been friends for like 7 years and now she like hates me.

Here's the essay
http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/8567/01152010105906am.png

Hitler quote
http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/4084/haterh.jpg

Twitter tweets
http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/3717/hater2.jpg

http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/7428/hater3.jpg

http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/1989/hater4.jpg

[GODDESS6]

i'm sorry to here this has happened to you, you are such a sweet person~

bitch is just jealous obviously~ who needs her~ i say **** 'em~

this is just so pathetic too, where people think it's ok to do something like this or even bully someone via the internet~ this is one reason why my son doesn't not have a myspace, facebook or twitter account yet~ that & the fact that he is only 10~ but kids can be cruel enough, let alone post something online for everyone else to see~

i think it also show insecurity & immaturity on her part~ if this chick felt that way, why not have the balls to talk to you personally?~

[holidayroad]

My opinion is that if she had a problem with you, she should have brought it up with you in private and tried to resolve it. That's what a mature person would do. I'm not you and I'm not her, so I can't say who was right or wrong when it came to your friendship, but she is completely wrong to take all of this public. It's one thing to share it with mutual friends, it's quite another to share it with the world. She sounds like her feelings got hurt. Maybe they did, but if she is accusing you of still being in a 'high school world' she should look at herself!! Her posts make her sound about 14!

[Enchanted_Stevi]

i'm sorry to here this has happened to you, you are such a sweet person~

bitch is just jealous obviously~ who needs her~ i say **** 'em~

this is just so pathetic too, where people think it's ok to do something like this or even bully someone via the internet~ this is one reason why my son doesn't not have a myspace, facebook or twitter account yet~ that & the fact that he is only 10~ but kids can be cruel enough, let alone post something online for everyone else to see~

i think it also show insecurity & immaturity on her part~ if this chick felt that way, why not have the balls to talk to you personally?~

Thanks =) Apparently to her our 7 years of friendship ment nothing.

I agree that 10 yrs old for myspace and facebook and twitter is way too young!! Make him wait til he's in high school.

[Enchanted_Stevi]

My opinion is that if she had a problem with you, she should have brought it up with you in private and tried to resolve it. That's what a mature person would do. I'm not you and I'm not her, so I can't say who was right or wrong when it came to your friendship, but she is completely wrong to take all of this public. It's one thing to share it with mutual friends, it's quite another to share it with the world. She sounds like her feelings got hurt. Maybe they did, but if she is accusing you of still being in a 'high school world' she should look at herself!! Her posts make her sound about 14!

I agree. I think if she had something to say she should have said it to my face or sent a message to ME not my girlfriend's sister...Even though Ashley and Sarah are good friends w/ Katie. I tried to send her a message before she sent that message and got no response yet.

I agree I did ignore her and not include her, but why would I want to include someone in my plans when they always bashed me and called me names. I even said on twitter "mocking someone via twitter is rather childish this isnt high school" and she said something back saying how I live in a high school world. Seriously though, UGH this sucks.

[HejiraNYC]

To play devil's advocate, I would say that, regardless of your own personal feelings and intentions, your (ex-) friend is entitled to her own interpretation of the situation- right or wrong. Have you been less cordial with her recently? Have you given her less attention recently, intentionally or not? Unfortunately I can definitely relate to the situation she described- one where a close friend finds a shiny new object and pretty much ceases to acknowledge anyone else. Incorporating new friends and relationships into ones life without affecting your other existing relationships is not as straightforward as it may seem.

That being said, I think the Hitler quote and the quips are a bit creepy. She sounds like a timebomb.

[DavidMn]

Caitlin, I understand where youre coming from. Ive had people talk **** about me too but you just have to say to yourself ****EM. I look at it this way, I am who I am and whoever doesnt like me can take a long walk off a short pier.:lol: Hope you feel better.:nod:

[Enchanted_Stevi]

Caitlin, I understand where youre coming from. Ive had people talk **** about me too but you just have to say to yourself ****EM. I look at it this way, I am who I am and whoever doesnt like me can take a long walk off a short pier.:lol: Hope you feel better.:nod:

Thanks David. I always thought I was a nice friend. I got her wicked nice christmas presents too. You know what I got? A cheapo disco ball that broke..lol

Ashley and I got her a black light, disco light ball, RENT dvd, Pimp cup, and something else.

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

It does sound like a crappy situation. I'm not sure I would air it all on a public forum though :shrug:

[skcin]

To play devil's advocate, I would say that, regardless of your own personal feelings and intentions, your (ex-) friend is entitled to her own interpretation of the situation- right or wrong. Have you been less cordial with her recently? Have you given her less attention recently, intentionally or not? Unfortunately I can definitely relate to the situation she described- one where a close friend finds a shiny new object and pretty much ceases to acknowledge anyone else. Incorporating new friends and relationships into ones life without affecting your other existing relationships is not as straightforward as it may seem.

That being said, I think the Hitler quote and the quips are a bit creepy. She sounds like a timebomb.

Word on all those birds.

Sounds like you really hurt your friend's feelings Caitlin. :shrug: She reacted pretty childishly, but maybe if you had asked her what was wrong to begin with instead of perpetuating it with silly one-line replies on Twitter & Facebook, you wouldn't be in this situation. Just a thought.

So what happened first? You claim she talked smack about you & was mean to you so you started ignoring her; seems like she feels that you ignored her which caused her to say mean things about you. If she means anything to you, you would stop trying to figure out who did what first. If you still want to be friends, suck it up & be a good friend & try to fix this. Be humble & have enough self-awareness to recognize that it's partially your fault.

And if you don't want to be her friend, then don't. :shrug:


It does sound like a crappy situation. I'm not sure I would air it all on a public forum though :shrug:

I thought the same thing. Caitlin's hurt that this chick posting **** about her on the internet. Um. Pot? Meet kettle.

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

So what happened first? You claim she talked smack about you & was mean to you so you started ignoring her; seems like she feels that you ignored her which caused her to say mean things about you. If she means anything to you, you would stop trying to figure out who did what first. If you still want to be friends, suck it up & be a good friend & try to fix this. Be humble & have enough self-awareness to recognize that it's partially your fault.

And if you don't want to be her friend, then don't. :shrug:




Spot on advise. I was thinking along the same lines...

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

Also... it appears to me that the original 'essay' wasn't actually sent to you Caitlin? Am I right? So therefore whoever it was sent to has shown it to you which has caused this problem to escalate. I don't know...maybe I'm getting old and grumpy but it sounds like you've all behaved rather childishly in all this

And I didn't actually think her 'essay' was that much of a bashing type post. It just read to me like a hurt friend who felt you no longer paid her any attention. SHould she have handled it differently? Yes! She should have talked to you direct.

[LikeAWillow]

I'm sorry, Caitlin. I know how horribly it feels when people, especially people you thought were your friends, talk about you behind your back. Have you tried to get in touch with her and explain that the reason you started to ignore her was because she had already been cruel to you?

[trackaghost]

To play devil's advocate, I would say that, regardless of your own personal feelings and intentions, your (ex-) friend is entitled to her own interpretation of the situation- right or wrong. Have you been less cordial with her recently? Have you given her less attention recently, intentionally or not? Unfortunately I can definitely relate to the situation she described- one where a close friend finds a shiny new object and pretty much ceases to acknowledge anyone else. Incorporating new friends and relationships into ones life without affecting your other existing relationships is not as straightforward as it may seem.

That being said, I think the Hitler quote and the quips are a bit creepy. She sounds like a timebomb.

Yeah, I have to say everything she said in that message sounds reasonable, I can definitely understand that situation although it's hard to judge based one private message and a few twitter messages.

Word on all those birds.

Sounds like you really hurt your friend's feelings Caitlin. :shrug: She reacted pretty childishly, but maybe if you had asked her what was wrong to begin with instead of perpetuating it with silly one-line replies on Twitter & Facebook, you wouldn't be in this situation. Just a thought.

So what happened first? You claim she talked smack about you & was mean to you so you started ignoring her; seems like she feels that you ignored her which caused her to say mean things about you. If she means anything to you, you would stop trying to figure out who did what first. If you still want to be friends, suck it up & be a good friend & try to fix this. Be humble & have enough self-awareness to recognize that it's partially your fault.

I agree! I don't think it helps the situation posting this on a public forum. Caitlin, you should talk to her and maybe consider you might not be blameless in this situation.

It does sound like a crappy situation. I'm not sure I would air it all on a public forum though :shrug:


I thought the same thing. Caitlin's hurt that this chick posting **** about her on the internet. Um. Pot? Meet kettle.

Well my first thought was, this is a private message sent to someone else! I really don't think it should have been posted here, in my humble opinion.

[Enchanted_Stevi]

1) It was NOT sent it me. It was sent to my girlfriends sister. With whom she showed me.

2) I like to think that I did not ignore her in the beginning. In the beginning we were BFFS and did everything together and what not. Once I started getting involved w/ Ashley in a more intamate way Katie started backing off a bit. Which I dont get why because 90% of her friends at college are gay or bi. When we did hang out she always had some snarky remark to say to me or call me an asshole or annoying or whatever. Which I dont think I am an asshole nor annoying. So after a while of her doing this I just stopped talkin to her because I was sick of being put down. Yet, she think this is ALL my fault. It takes two to tango. She could have been more mature and said "hey I'm feeling kind of left out can we kind of fix this?" and I would have, but she negelcted to say anything until now and just bash me any chance she gets.

3) I did send her a message saying I was sorry if I ignored her and I did not mean to do it intentionally and that I still wanna be friends and what not. No response yet.

[mylittledemon]

Caitlin... some people are just no damn good. In this instance, your best bet is to stop (immediately) wasting any more time on trying to figure out why someone who was a friend would do something like this. Let it go and ignore her.

[fringed n fab]

I think this could have been handled privately between the two of you instead of posting it on a public forum, or Twitter or any other means. But that's just me. It sounds like she had more issues with you than just not being able to hang out. Hopefully you two will work things out because as long as I've been a member on 7W these past couple years, you two always seemed such good friends from your posts.

[vivfox]

Caitlin, I hate being on the outs with my friends. It sucks. Hopefully you guys will be able to patch things up. Everybody on The Ledge adores you. Hope that helps.

[skcin]

3) I did send her a message saying I was sorry if I ignored her and I did not mean to do it intentionally and that I still wanna be friends and what not. No response yet.

Here's an idea. Talk in person. Like, out loud. With real words. :shrug: With a voice she can hear, a face she can see. Show her you give a ****.

Typed or written messages are way too easy to be misunderstood & misinterpreted. People read into things that aren't there, or miss things that are. And it's so cold & impersonal.

[David]

Typed or written messages are way too easy to be misunderstood & misinterpreted. People read into things that aren't there, or miss things that are. And it's so cold & impersonal.You've never read Colette's letters!

[PutTheBlameOnMe]

2) I like to think that I did not ignore her in the beginning. In the beginning we were BFFS and did everything together and what not. Once I started getting involved w/ Ashley in a more intamate way Katie started backing off a bit. Which I dont get why because 90% of her friends at college are gay or bi. When we did hang out she always had some snarky remark to say to me or call me an asshole or annoying or whatever. Which I dont think I am an asshole nor annoying. So after a while of her doing this I just stopped talkin to her because I was sick of being put down. Yet, she think this is ALL my fault. It takes two to tango. She could have been more mature and said "hey I'm feeling kind of left out can we kind of fix this?" and I would have, but she negelcted to say anything until now and just bash me any chance she gets.



Maybe Katie is jealous of your relationship. Perhaps she liked you or your girlfriend in "that" way.
But then again, maybe yours and Ashley's relationship creeped her out (as wrong as that sounds). Did she know that you are gay/bi from the beginning?


I also agree with what many people have said. You need to talk face to face to her. Stop being childish and bitching about and to each other on Facebook, Twitter etc. As difficult as it will be you need to sort it all out and move on with your lives, either with each others friendship or without.