My sister had a traumatic brain injury 1 year ago today

[petep9000]

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[jannieC]

We are only a year apart, I'm 38 and she's 39. We were raised like twins. On Jan 25th last year, my sister took to her bed with a severe headache and nausea. After a few hours, she went to get up out of bed to vomit and she collapsed onto the floor and struck her head on her night-table. Her husband simply put her back into her bed and left her there. The next morning, Jan 26th, my mother wanted to know why Robin was still in bed. Her husband said she still had a headache and "oh, by the way did you hear that thump? she fell out of bed."

My mother fell into pieces and demanded her call 911 immediately which he did. The paramedics took her away to the hospital and told my mother that my sister's pressure was "through the roof". My mother said when the ambulance people were carting her off into the ambulance, my sister (who was only half-conscious) was moaning "Mommy...mommy". They rushed her to our nearest hospital which also happened to be a Level I Trauma Center. She was rushed into the OR immediately and after 8 hours of surgery the surgeon came out and chatted with us for approximately 2 minutes. He said she had a subarachnoid aneurysm, an artery in her brain had developed a little ballon-like pocket which ruptured and spilled large amounts of blood into her brain cavity. He explained that he 'clipped' the aneurysm but because she had been in bleeding state for 2 days, there was no way he could know what kind of damage she had. My brother asked "what's her prognosis?", and the surgeon shook his head and said "All I can tell you is that for this moment right now she's alive and I saved her life. I can't tell you what tomorrow will bring or if she will even make it through the night."

Well, she did make it through the night. After a few days the breathing tube was removed and she could breath on her own. In a few weeks, she could open her eyes and move her fingers. In a month, she was talking and finally after 35 days in ICU she was transferred to a rehab hospital. After a few weeks there, she was transferred to a nursing home, and finally came home in April.

This person who came home? Well, she looks like Robin. And she can walk, and talk, feed herself, tie her shoes, read and write and other tasks. She'll never be able to drive again because damage to her optic nerve destroyed her periferal vision. But this person is not Robin. The 'essence' of Robin, that certain 'something' that made her what she is, is gone. I feel, and others in my family as well as her 4 children that are under 18 years old feel, that the old Robin is gone and replaced with a sad, fragile stranger. And this is why I am grieving today. Because I know I am supposed to be happy that she survived, but yet in a way she didn't and this is what makes it so conflicting.

Sorry to ramble on like that, but this was something that needed to come out of me today, like a bad spirit.

No apologies for rambling- I really appreciate you telling this story. I recently went through a very serious and life threatening freak medical scare, and your story really resonated with me. Life is so fragile- these things can happen so quickly! One year is not a very long time to learn to live with your sister's changes. What is the rest of her prognosis like? Will she continue to improve? My heart really goes out to you, your family, and your sister's children. :xoxo:

[dnightshade]

This is such a heartbreaking story. It's bringinig tears to my eyes to think about your poor family and what they've been through. I was just having a conversation last night about aneurysms and how scary they are 'cuz they can strike anyone at anytime regardless of age, sex and even health. Have your nieces and nephews been to counseling? How is your brother-in-law coping? And your mother? It must be so hard for her. I know this anniversary must be bittersweet. I'll light a candle for your family tonight. Please keep us posted on how your sister progresses. Miracles can happen.

[Pisces Queen]

I want to take a moment to thank you for posting your story. I am sorry for your loss and nightmare that you're family is experiencing. I have been in a little pity party for myself today and this snapped me out of it. Our heath and life are truly gifts that I for one take for granted. I prey that you're family pulls thru this ~ we never know why something like this happens. :shrug:

[Sarah]

I'm sorry that I don't have something inspirational to say, pete. It's such a shocking thing to know that it really can happen at any time to anyone.

Thank you for sharing this story. I hope things work out for your family, especially the children. ♥

[bretonbanquet]

Thanks for sharing your story, it's a hell of a thing, and fortunately for us, most of us will never appreciate what you guys have gone through, and are still going through. Best wishes to your family, and here's hoping that things gradually get back to something like normal :) There isn't any "best way" to get through it, just "your way" :)

[GODDESS6]

this is so heartbreaking, but i appreciate you sharing~ it makes one realize how precious every minute is~ bless you & your sister~

[Betsy]

WOW ~~~

I just read this thread...and words seem so inadequate to convey the feelings. For you to be so close in age with Robin and today being your birthday, you have to feel the loss...of a friend, sister and it sounds like soulmate.

I like how you posted her photo with your mom. It makes her a person and therefore, more real and the story more moving. The look in her eyes, says it all..."I'm trapped in here (my body) and I can't get out...please stay with me..."

Do you know what part of the brain has been damaged? Memory? (short term/long term) Emotions? Can she hug her kids? Does she have her balance or does she need a walker for help?

I am sure that there is guilt going around ~~~ by not getting medical care sooner, but we can't control fate and somethings are beyond our control.

On a positive note, Shirley MacLaine once said - "The brain is not the soul."

...and I am sure the soul of Robin is still there...

...just might have to find another way to communicate with it.

[Betsy]

^^^^
I saw your photo on Show Yo Mug. There is a strong resemblance with your sister.

Your story is moving one....one that stays with a person....and haunts the mind. The kindness of your mother and the "occupational therapy" is so touching.

Have the doctors said anything about Robin's lifespan? I don't want to bring up a sad topic....my cousin didn't make a it year...she had brain cancer and that was about 20 years ago....medicine has come a long ways since then....and I know your sister doesn't have cancer.

On a different topic...over the holidays a TV station showed some nursing homes around the Denver area. Some of the residents have Alzheimers and have not spoken in years. A group of Senior Citizens, who like to sing, came to the homes and sang carols and songs which were popular in the 30's and 40's...to the suprise of the staff, some of the *speechless* were singing along. The songs had hit some sort of memory. It cheered everyone up... It was a sweet story.

Did Robin listen to music? Does she have any favorite groups?

[kathy1]

i hope that your sister is doing better now.