Would you intervene?

[gypsysoul]

Hope everyone had a great Christmas.
Sorry to bring up such an unpleasant topic but:

My brother was out shopping in the post Christmas sales today and came across this scene in one shop - a couple were out shopping with a girl aged about 8, presumably their daughter.
Something happened/was said and suddenly the woman/mother yanked the girl’s hair so hard the girl lost her balance. the woman then punched the girl in the back. Then for good measure the man/father kicked, yes kicked the girl.

My brother was shocked as were other onlookers. One woman intervened and gave the couple a good telling off.

So, what would you do in these circumstances? Intervene or ignore it?

[DrummerDeanna]

:eek: Oh my GOD! I would have called the police. I mean if they're willing to do that to the little girl in public, who knows what they're doing to her in private :distress:

For something that severe I'm not sure I would have been able to keep my mouth shut...that is just heinous.

[Sahara]

That is horrible! :distress: Definitely intervene, the poor girl.

[sara1998]

I'da been on the cell phone so quickly with 911. Things like that piss me off. The only time I strike Sara is if she really needs it, and then it's only a quick swat on her butt. That dosn't happen often at all. It hurts her feelings more then anything. There is no excuse for anything more then that.

[gypsysoul]

I agree, I would definitely have intervened in some way. I hate violence generally but against children it makes my blood boil. The trouble is, you just know these people would probably only take it out on the child more once they got home:(

[mikeschmike]

God, that's awful! Spanking a kid is one thing. Beating the sh*t out of it is wrong.

I would have said something.

[Rickypt]

Punching and kicking is abuse and one is obligated to report it. More than a telling off was needed, the police should have been called.

[rbs3676]

I work in a hospital and you would be amazed by the sheer volume of child abuse situations that come through our emergency room doors. It is, in my opinion, our duty as adults to quickly get authorities involved as soon as one even suspects that the welfare of a child is in danger. If I were to have witnessed what your brother had, I would have called CPS and well as the police on the spot.

rbs

[amber]

Wow, I'm suprised they did that in public. Sad. I was walking to BART one day, and came upon this lady with a little girl ghetto yelling at this guy. "You better not call child protective services! Don't you follow me! Don't you follow me!" and the guy said something about not talking to her daughter that way, something, and had his cell phone out. The lady was all "she's not scared of me! YOu're not scared of me, are you, you little b*tch?" The little girl was only about five it looked like! So the guy was calling child protective services while following this lady home. He was telling her not to treat her daughter like that, but she was screaming over him as she walked, "Don't you follow me! I can treat my kids any way I want! You better not call CPT!" etc., ghetto, etc. It was so sad. You could tell that she just terrorized that child, and was a person who yelled all the time. I mean, she had just called her tiny daughter a b*tch for no reason! She was so yelly screamy it was like she was on drugs. I was really glad the stranger was calling CPT on her and following her. You can't talk to kids like that, it is incredibly damaging. IMO, worse than hitting, although neither is acceptable, of course.

[catinthedark]

omg - definitely would have called the police. and stayed there until they arrived to make sure the little girl was okay. as someone already mentioned - if they do that in public, imagine what goes on behind closed doors.

[sasja]

Totally and absolutely, would have called CPS and the police, and would have given them my card with numbers to call for parenting classes and family counseling, as well as following them to make sure the child was ok till intervention got there.

From experience I always assume that kind of behavior is just the tip of the iceberg, sadly.


Sasja

[jannieC]

I would have called the police. I doubt I would have gotten into it with the couple- I just would have sneakily called the police, then followed up with calling CPS. Poor little thing- like someone else said- imagine what they do to her in private.

[estranged4life]

Something happened/was said and suddenly the woman/mother yanked the girl’s hair so hard the girl lost her balance. the woman then punched the girl in the back. Then for good measure the man/father kicked, yes kicked the girl.

So, what would you do in these circumstances? Intervene or ignore it?

knowing how much I can lose it around abusive people, I would've probably suplexed the man/father onto his head and literally beat the holy-of-all-hell outta him (Of course I would let him know if you want to kick someone, try kicking my ass!!!).

As for the woman/mother...No comment (I wouldnt commit violence towards her, that's not my style, but I would scare the f**k outta her after the mess I would make with the man/husband.)

I can't stand child abusers...

(edit:I'm not a violent person like I once was, but abuse a child within either earshot/vision and I betcha I can return to my old ways.)

[BlackWidow]

I would have Thrown Down..like a barricade!

[skcin]

^ OK, hon, that was funny the first couple of times. Not so much anymore. :laugh:

Anyway, I absolutely would have reported this. I mind my own business when people are yelling at their kids, or even if they swat them on the butt. But hair pulling & punching? That cannot, and should not, be ignored.

[DavidMn]

I wouldve called that cops as well.

[SuzeQuze]

I wouldve called that cops as well.

Me too, and I would've told that lady she was a piece of crap for doing that to her child.

[HejiraNYC]

Anyway, I absolutely would have reported this. I mind my own business when people are yelling at their kids, or even if they swat them on the butt. But hair pulling & punching? That cannot, and should not, be ignored.

But what would this accomplish? I would just fear that the parents would become even more irate and would vent even more furiously once they are behind closed doors with the girl. It's not like Social Services can just yank the child out of their custody based on some eyewitness reports. Unfortunately the kid has to have some pretty visible/palpable/demonstrable evidence of abuse to substantiate this kind of action. :distress: And the poor kid loses no matter what the outcome.

[skcin]

But what would this accomplish? I would just fear that the parents would become even more irate and would vent even more furiously once they are behind closed doors with the girl. It's not like Social Services can just yank the child out of their custody based on some eyewitness reports. Unfortunately the kid has to have some pretty visible/palpable/demonstrable evidence of abuse to substantiate this kind of action. :distress: And the poor kid loses no matter what the outcome.

You're right, there's a chance that nothing would come of it and maybe the kid would get it worse. But there is also a chance that you can help a child. If you do nothing, it's pretty much guaranteed that the abuse will never stop. :shrug:

I see your point in theory, but as a nurse I'm actually required by law in my state to report abuse, even if it's only a suspicion. I believe it's only mandated if I'm in the workplace, but even in my private life I couldn't turn a blind eye & say "it's not my problem" and hope someone else helps instead.

[Rickypt]

^I am in training to become a "CASA", which is a court-appointed advocate for children in foster care system. I'm learning quite a bit about the system and process for removing a child from his/her home.

While it's true that reporting this one incident wouldn't result in the removal of this girl from her parents, it would lead to further investigation and possible required classes/counseling for the parents to change their abusive behavior.

There are two options here. Not intervening which will result in nothing favorable for the girl. And intervening which could result in something favorable.

[gypsysoul]

I'm actually a lawyer who specializes in cases of child abuse and I agree with many of the views already expressed that this kind of behaviour (especially where the parents couldn't even control themselves in a large department store) is usually the tip of the iceberg. Alongside the physical hurt there is the more intangible but equally damaging emotional harm that comes with assaults.

I'm interested to read all your different views because it's made me realize that many people want to take action in these situations but may be unsure how best to do it. It's something I intend to look into once I'm back at work since I deal with social services often. They get anonymous referrals all the time but that's usually from neighbours. I'm not sure how they would deal with a situation like this.