I'm Cranked Out....

[The Tower]

Why am I so cranked out lately???

Why do people seem to be such selfish, thoughtless jerks???


Moreover, why do I feel like my compassion and love for humanity is slowly draining away from me?

Why am I questioning everything related to I or me?

Bleh.

I'm tired of being cynical (although I have damn good reasons to be so). I wish I were more gay like Strand, or more superficially-vacuous-yet-actually-full-of-meaning-that-one-doesn't-know-about like Jizzy. Or more grounded and snappy-cool-resiliant, like Amber. Or more hot-on-the-verge-of-being-able-to-do-anyone-I-want like Ryan. Or more cute and "Gee, I could easily see myself waking up in the morning sleeping next to Curtis whilst laying in 500 bazillion count threads knowing a plane trip was on the scchhhedule...."

Ah, me.... ah, me..... me. me. Hmmmmm.... Me.

Um. I'm really not that self-centered. I could really see myself as Johnny Stew (Brian), except, he and I are absolute icy cold polar opposites. Although, the ironic thing is that I love him BECAUSE he's my polar opposite and that his magnetic opposition gives me something to attract to- me. me. me. me.

I think that Niki (BTFLCHLDLSLDFLD) and Brandon (MyLittleDemon <----I think I got the case wrong there) should just for-jeezus-just-get-it-ON..... although I believe that Niki is quite taken- (no offense Pony Boy).

I think I would have an orgasm if I would have a day in Brian J's Musicquarium.... Seriously. Imagining hearing all those Stevie moments. BOING!!!

Mean people suck. A former collegue of mine who finally came out (as a dyke) who had completely treated me like **** for years (because she was "management" - yeah right) tried to pull the "I'm not mean" **** on her MySpace and then did the whole "mean people suck" routine. Yeah, right. Lemme tell ya- if yer that much of an outta control judgemental {bleep}, you're mean. It comes with the territory.

Holy crap, I love Sparky- and I mean that in it's most holiest of forms. And Nixxxed (Chucky). And Markolas (Marky). And Moony (Dan-O). And TakenByTheSky (Sweet Justin). And even the Brown Eye (Brandan- Brandon- Branden- how many times has it changed, dear- oris it just my Alzheimers????) OY!!!

Ooh, my love.... I love Chris (gldstwmn) and Suze and FREEEKING Paula!!! Jeezus, that woman..... if I were straight (which will never happen in this space-time-continuum), she would be my old lady, and I would be her old man.... although, I'd be shacking up with Amber in Grand Old 70's style....

[HomerMcvie]

I never make any of these lists.....:( :shrug: :blob2:

[Johnny Stew]

I could really see myself as Johnny Stew (Brian), except, he and I are absolute icy cold polar opposites. Although, the ironic thing is that I love him BECAUSE he's my polar opposite and that his magnetic opposition gives me something to attract to- me. me. me. me.Even though we've had our personality clashes in the past, I hope you know that I've really come to like and respect you.
You're a good guy who's had some really rough times, and I know that underneath that sometimes gruff demeanor there's a heart of gold. :xoxo:

[Brwn_eyes0511]

:xoxo:

.....

[ontheEdgeof17]

I never make any of these lists.....:( :shrug: :blob2:

Don't fret. Me, either. :angel:

[michelle2677]

Don't fret. Me, either. :angel:
or me. Curtis you can be on my list and we'll have our own party :laugh: i thought you were mentioned though :shrug:

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

Don't fret. Me, either. :angel:

Nor me... we should just have a list of our own!:wavey:

[sara1998]

What's wrong with being cynical? :shrug:

[GODDESS6]

What's wrong with being cynical? :shrug:

that was my mother-in-law 110%, i say life is too short:shrug: ~

[sara1998]

that was my mother-in-law 110%, i say life is too short:shrug: ~

I try not to be. I can't say that I am all the time. But sometimes I have a hard time making lemonaide with the lemons life hands me. Maybe I should ask for a shot of tequila with them next time!

[markolas]

Maybe it's menopause? :laugh:

It's hard not being cynical, since most people are @$$holes. I was seriously ready to walk out of my job yesterday...supposedly, I'm about to transfer to another department, I just hope I do it before I quit in frustration and disgust. :rolleyes:

Anyway, I'm glad the Ledge has been a source of non@$$holishness for you.

:xoxo: :xoxo:

[SuzeQuze]

Yeah hon, I hear you. The holidaze contribute to such feelings. Even my 3-year-old neice recently said, "What are these f*cking people doing?" :lol: She was in a car with her frustrated Mom. Drivers are the worst. Nobody signals, checks their blind spot, moves out of the fast lane, etc. Well, is it true that nobody does? No, some people do, and when I'm clear I pay attention to them, forget those other jerks, not worth any of my neurons' energy.

So I wouldn't be me if I didn't reference Dr. Weil in this regard:

... there's good news for pessimists, too. Earlier research has shown that optimism is at least partially learned. How? Find out by reading a classic book on the subject, Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind & Your Life (Pocket Books, 1998), by famed psychologist Martin Seligman, PhD.

Here's what else I recommend for pessimists:

Take care of yourself by eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting adequate sleep.
Express your emotional reactions honestly so you can effectively deal with what's bothering you.
Confide in someone ?? your mate, a good friend, or a trusted relative.
Make a resolution to view the cup as half full instead of half empty.

http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA326513

Being a cynic is a good thing though too. Think of the havoc those Pollyannas can wreak? Psych Today had an article about this last month. They mentioned that during the dot com craze of the 90s many of those CEOs were on anti-depressants which was why they didn't see that things might ever come down. I thought that was an interesting insight. So if someone had been cynical at the top they could've said we should be cautious regardless of current market conditions because... Or they could've just asked me, despite my "lowly" helpdesk status.

Anyway, :xoxo:, the holidaze suck. Try to focus on what is specifically irritating you and making you angry instead of painting a broad brush over everything with it. And please forgive my unsolicited advice.

[JazmenFlowers]

or more superficially-vacuous-yet-actually-full-of-meaning-that-one-doesn't-know-about like Jizzy.
and true to this...I had to read it like 4 times and I'm still not sure I know what it means, but I guess that's the whole "vacuous" part, right? :cool: :D

I'm glad you can see through my tough exterior. :laugh: you know I love you more than my luggage.

I hope you feel better soon.

[strandinthewind]

Oh Piss Off hooker - I am 40 FOR - MOTHER FUKCING - TY today. So, I really do not want to hear it :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Of Course, I do not look my age at all :wavey:

BTW - did you ever see the doc. "Grey Gardens" about Jackie Kenney's insane mother and daughter cousins. That will be us one day and you are Big Edie.

[sara1998]

Oh Piss Off hooker - I am 40 FOR - MOTHER FUKCING - TY today. So, I really do not want to hear it :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I'd a never guessed, dahlink.... :cool:

[estranged4life]

What's wrong with being cynical? :shrug:

it makes my day more entertaining :thumbsup:

[The Tower]

I never make any of these lists.....:( :shrug: :blob2:
Oh, Homina- you're always in the back of my mind. I'm not very good at doing those stream of consciousness things. We animal lovers stick together.

Don't fret. Me, either.
You were in there, ya 'tard.

What's wrong with being cynical?
Nothing, really. It would just be nice to have some beautiful relief every once in awhile. The last time that happened to me was when I saw The Fellowship of the Ring for the first time in the movie theater {GASP!}. That took my breath away.

that was my mother-in-law 110%, i say life is too short:shrug: ~
That is too true. However, Jill, for sweethearts like you things must seem sunnier. You always have such a pleasant spirit. It's admirable. :xoxo:

Maybe it's menopause? :laugh:
Bitch. :laugh:

It's hard not being cynical, since most people are @$$holes.
I hear ya on that one, babe.

Anyway, :xoxo:, the holidaze suck. Try to focus on what is specifically irritating you and making you angry instead of painting a broad brush over everything with it. And please forgive my unsolicited advice.
Your advice is always solicited, mah dear. Oddly enough, I think my malaise is due to the fact that I am an eternal romantic-type optimist and things either let me down or rarely reach my desired level. Maybe I'm more ennui than pessimistic.

and true to this...I had to read it like 4 times and I'm still not sure I know what it means, but I guess that's the whole "vacuous" part, right? :cool: :D
Honey- it means that I think that people may see you as something lighter and more superficial than how I see you. People tend to underestimate severe Chiffonheads as classic flakes. I think you're made of a lot more that that.

Oh Piss Off hooker - I am 40 today. So, I really do not want to hear it...
I thought you were forty-nine going on fifty??? Who knew??

"You wait, old man, on an empty stage
For fate to turn the lights off
Your life, old man, is a tawdry novel
Full of men who wanted to get off…

You are forty-nine going on fifty
Baby, it's time to think
Better beware, be canny and careful
Baby, you're on the brink (of alzheimers)

You are forty-nine going on fifty
Fellows will fall in line
Eager young lads and rogues and cads
Will expect to buy them food and wine

Totally unprepared are you
To face a world without men
Timid and shy and scared are you
Of things beyond your den

You need someone older and wiser
Telling you what to do
I am fifty-three going on fifty-four
Honey, I'll take care of you"

BTW - did you ever see the doc. "Grey Gardens" about Jackie Kenney's insane mother and daughter cousins. That will be us one day and you are Big Edie.
I have seen that one. I would say it was depressing, except for the fact that that woman was so out of it mentally, that I sure she had no idea how awful her life was. Personally, I'm hoping for a slow slide into non-reality as well.

[strandinthewind]

^^^^

I like that one, but I was thinking more along the lines of:

Isn't it rich, are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss, don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around
One who can't move
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours.
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines;
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear,
I thought that you'd want what I want,
Sorry my dear
But where are the clowns
Send in the clowns
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich, isn't it queer
Losing my timing this late in my career
But where are the clowns
there ought to be clowns
Well, maybe next year.
________________________

Le Sigh

[ontheEdgeof17]

You were in there, ya 'tard.


Oh. I see it now.

[skcin]

I love how Towie came here to vent & everyone made it about whether or not they made his post. :p Easy for me to say, since I made it on there....

Seriously, though, I also have difficulty finding a balance between total cynicism (sp?) and ignoring things/pretending everything's just hunky-dory. :shrug: I don't want to be dark & depressed all the time, but on the other hand I don't want to be blissfully ignorant either.

And this applies to everything - people and their actions, the state of our environment, health issues, the government....everything. I don't know what to say, Towie. It's really hard not to just want to give up & say screw it & think the world is a horrible hateful place. I just try to remind myself that I cannot control other people and their thoughts or actions - I can only control my reaction to them. I choose to believe that this life is a gift, and I try to think positive.

Of course, biting sarcasm helps when it all seems too overwhelming. :cool:

[Rickypt]

Well, Tower, you have been one of my favorite posters from day one. I'm not even sure why...I just always thought that's someone I would hang out with if I lived in the same area. And that's saying a lot given that you hate my city.

[estranged4life]

I love how Towie came here to vent & everyone made it about whether or not they made his post. :p Easy for me to say, since I made it on there....


I'll never be the political expert here (Which is gldstwmn, irishgrl & strandie), the most popular or 'what have ya'...But I appreciate the acknowledgment of my music collection. :thumbsup:

[gldstwmn]

Why am I so cranked out lately???

Ooh, my love.... I love Chris (gldstwmn) ....

I love you too baby.:xoxo: I think everyone goes through some kind of self reflection this time of year. Mercury just finished being retrograde and the Saturn Neptune opposition supposedly causes a lot of turmoil. that could be affecting you, if that's your thing. I've fallen in love with astrology again. What's your sign? ;)

[sara1998]

I love you too baby.:xoxo: I think everyone goes through some kind of self reflection this time of year. Mercury just finished being retrograde and the Saturn Neptune opposition supposedly causes a lot of turmoil. that could be affecting you, if that's your thing. I've fallen in love with astrology again. What's your sign? ;)

I'm a virgo. Any good men coming my way? Since you're in love, maybe you can figure this out for me! hahaha... :lol:

[SuzeQuze]

I'll never be the political expert here (Which is gldstwmn, irishgrl & strandie), the most popular or 'what have ya'...But I appreciate the acknowledgment of my music collection. :thumbsup:

You're a pillar of the Ledge.

[The Tower]

And this applies to everything - people and their actions, the state of our environment, health issues, the government....everything. I don't know what to say, Towie. It's really hard not to just want to give up & say screw it & think the world is a horrible hateful place. I just try to remind myself that I cannot control other people and their thoughts or actions - I can only control my reaction to them. I choose to believe that this life is a gift, and I try to think positive.
Geoffrey and I don't even go out anymore. We got home from the grocery store late Wednesday night before Thanksgiving and Geoffrey didn't leave the house until 8:30am Monday morning... 'Course I schlepped myself out over the weekend to restock the bunker and supplies- but, otherwise, it's stay home with the doggies.

Of course, biting sarcasm helps when it all seems too overwhelming. :cool:
That's me all the time, woman. :thumbsup:

Well, Tower, you have been one of my favorite posters from day one. I'm not even sure why...I just always thought that's someone I would hang out with if I lived in the same area. And that's saying a lot given that you hate my city.
Yes, Sweet Ryan- I think we would enjoy each other's company, too. :nod: And, yes, I hate San Franciscians- but, the city itself is beautiful, unique and breathtaking at times. Too bad the citizenry are such jerks- present company excepted!! :xoxo:

I've fallen in love with astrology again. What's your sign? ;)
I am an Aries with an Aquarius ascendant. I have FIVE planets in Aries and Saturn is in fall whilst being very poorly aspected. So, basically, I a hot-headed infant who likes being lazy and telling authority to go fukc themselves. Oh, well...... :laugh:

[JazmenFlowers]

Honey- it means that I think that people may see you as something lighter and more superficial than how I see you. People tend to underestimate severe Chiffonheads as classic flakes. I think you're made of a lot more that that.
awww. :xoxo:

ITA with Paula, btw. I feel like I must be bipolar at times. I'm either way, way up or in the f*ckin pits. so, been there, done that, know how you feel. you have to find something that makes you happy again and that you can look forward to. that's what I do. a reason to live? not so much. a reason to enjoy life? probably.

[amber]

This is a great post, I love it. Know why? Because it is interesting.

I knew I should have replied this morning when I first saw this, now everyone else has said stuff I was going to say, most notably and nearly exactly Paula. :shocked: It's okay, though, since I'm sleeping with her husband Tower, vengeance is mine.
I'll just say it anyway.

I think it's funny that you wrote this big heartfelt deep thing with traces of despair and gobs of ennui and lots of love - and that people talked about themselves after reading all that. Or they didn't really respond to what you were saying, didn't really get to the heart of the point. No, I'm not talking about you. Any "yous" who may think I am talking about you, I am not. And people did say some cool stuff, so that is great.
I remember a few times when I posted something like that and got similar responses. Except I didn't name anyone, so it wasn't people b*tching about that, it was people totally not getting the point or tone of what I said. No big, just funny. Not haha funny, frustrating, might-as-well-ignore-it funny.




Why am I so cranked out lately???

Why do people seem to be such selfish, thoughtless jerks???


Moreover, why do I feel like my compassion and love for humanity is slowly draining away from me?

Why am I questioning everything related to I or me?

Bleh.

I think it is a good sign that you are questioning these things. It means that at some point you actually had compassion and love for humanity, so in theory, you could regain it. I, personally, think it's pointless - I have love for individual humans, compassion. As for humankind, the most I can muster is a kind of hope for some kind of equality and fairness. Love and compassion for the whole human race? I think not. But I do think that it may be harder for you/anyone to be happy if you are actively almost constantly disgusted with everyone. I don't really have more of an answer, as I am nearly constantly irritated/disgusted by someone. Thankfully, I am just as often inspired and uplifted by someone. Okay, lots of times that "someone" is Stevie's voice, but...:laugh: Seriously, there are many people doing wonderful things, or just being wonderful in some way. That is more of a distraction from the despair and disgust, rather than a literal balance to it, but I take what I can.
Is it really your astrological place to question yourself? hehe.

I'm tired of being cynical (although I have damn good reasons to be so). I wish I were more gay like Strand, or more superficially-vacuous-yet-actually-full-of-meaning-that-one-doesn't-know-about like Jizzy. Or more grounded and snappy-cool-resiliant, like Amber. Or more hot-on-the-verge-of-being-able-to-do-anyone-I-want like Ryan. Or more cute and "Gee, I could easily see myself waking up in the morning sleeping next to Curtis whilst laying in 500 bazillion count threads knowing a plane trip was on the scchhhedule...."

All these people are very cool, and it is easy to think that if you were different, or your life more fun, that you would be happier and have a brighter world view. I was thinking that very same thing as my best friend sunned herself and her new boobs and went swimming with sea lions etc. in Acapulco during Thanksgiving Vacation. Digress. Are any of these personality traits better than your own? I doubt it, but you seem to be speaking more of a desire to have a mind free of cynicism, doubt, knowlege of bad things, and perhaps think if you had different traits, your mind would be more like that. A desire to be free of your own mind and it's dark knowlege and emotions. Or I could be totally jacked up and projecting. The night before last I wrestled for hours with the utter intrinsic meaninglessness of life, my own and others'. I decided that there is no meaning, really, except for the fact that what we do affects others - I kind of concluded that the only thing worth existing for is whatever you think is fun, and most other things are hard and a pain in the ass and bring sorrow or ennui. And that is the true nature of life, it is a series of challenges that you have to overcome to keep existing - what for? No reason really, except to do whatever you think is fun. Everything else is just a big a**hole neverending chore that you have to slog through, including the knowlege that everything really is messed up, and lots of people really are a-holes. I thought about a lot of other stuff related to that, of course. I couldn't stop crying for so long. Even into the next day, I was like a raw wound. It has subsided a bit today. Looks like the same time as you thought this stuff.
I guess I kind of agree with you, then - it would be great to do/feel what you think is fun, be however you want to be, as those are the only things that distract us from the largely empty and possibly painful necessary actions of our lives. Hmm, that wasn't really uplifting, but it is pretty true. The bad thing is that learning is fun, but ignorance is bliss, if you see what I mean. The more you know, the more bad things you know, and you can't go back. You must seek joy, and create joy. You must actively dismiss from your mind
I am sooo wondering if that makes sense. It makes sense to me.

Ah, me.... ah, me..... me. me. Hmmmmm.... Me.
:lol: :lol: Bwaaaahhhhh! So funny, and more so because it totally reminded me of my dad.

Um. I'm really not that self-centered. I could really see myself as Johnny Stew (Brian), except, he and I are absolute icy cold polar opposites. Although, the ironic thing is that I love him BECAUSE he's my polar opposite and that his magnetic opposition gives me something to attract to- me. me. me. me.
I didn't know you liked Stew! That is great. Self centered? Meh. *shrug* Who are you supposed to be thinking about? As long as you listen when people talk and respond to what they actually said and not talk about yourself, then no one will notice.

Mean people suck. A former collegue of mine who finally came out (as a dyke) who had completely treated me like **** for years (because she was "management" - yeah right) tried to pull the "I'm not mean" **** on her MySpace and then did the whole "mean people suck" routine. Yeah, right. Lemme tell ya- if yer that much of an outta control judgemental {bleep}, you're mean. It comes with the territory.
So would you say that since she is mean all the time, that is heinous, not to mention denying it - but if regular people are mean at times...as we both have been (for example)...what is that? Since you think mean people suck, do you feel bad when you are "mean"? I do sometimes, sometimes not. Bout half and half.

Holy crap, I love Sparky- and I mean that in it's most holiest of forms. And Nixxxed (Chucky). And Markolas (Marky). And Moony (Dan-O). And TakenByTheSky (Sweet Justin). OY!!!
I love this entire group of people as well (edited version). Your taste in this one paragraph is impeccable...

Ooh, my love.... I love Chris (gldstwmn) and Suze and FREEEKING Paula!!! Jeezus, that woman..... if I were straight (which will never happen in this space-time-continuum), she would be my old lady, and I would be her old man.... although, I'd be shacking up with Amber in Grand Old 70's style....
Mmmhmm, mmmhmm. :nod:
I'm glad your superior insight easily put me in my correct category, that of "mistress" rather than "wife", and put us out in Grand Old 70's style. Paula, enjoy your T.V. watching while fictional straight Tower from the past and I go to hot parties, meet hot people, do hot drugs, sing hot songs, and be hot extras on hot TV shows. And wear hot clothes. Fictional Tower and I are bound to meet Stevie at one of these parties. Since we all live in L.A. :shrug: Sorry your fictional past self will have to move to California to be with your alternate space time continuum husband. Okay, I'll stop.

I'm sorry you are struggling with this a bit. I've been struggling with similar, related things. MOst of my life, really. The worst part is thinking that your whole life might be how it is now, you may feel the same ways most of the time, and all your patterns will repeat over and over. And that the world will likely get suckier and suckier, people too. It's fine if your good patterns repeat, but what about the not so helpful ones? Like cynical, irritated thought patterns for instance. These things are hard to change. For many, impossible. I choose to not think it is impossible. It gives me something to do. :p I hope you work it out okay, and try to enjoy yourself. I must now relay the obligatory "you need to exercise to get your endorphins happening so you will be happier" message.
Still, ennui is hard to escape. Especially if you really think about life. :laugh:
But the moon has been in Pisces, and it moves to Aries tomorrow, so you'll probably feel better then. Hopefully you'll have some kind of catharsis, and it won't involve weeping off and on for hours.

Lastly, I thought of another upside - You like and admire more people from here than I do, I mean actively, so isn't that good? Your tolerance and compassion for humanity is at least higher than mine. I think I laugh a lot more than you, but it's not a contest, I was just saying...hahaha.

I figure you'll finish reading this whole thing in about a week or so, no rush, it's a little long...*snicker*.

Love. :xoxo:

"Here's a love so fragile, and a heart so hollow..."

*I'm glad I didn't totally read everyone else's posts before, as it appears I've said basically the same thing, but in a way longer version. I like to think I went more indepth...lol.

[JazmenFlowers]

Towie - saw this, thought of you, had to post. :xoxo:

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a378/fulghamjc/superficialfriends.jpg

[GypsySorcerer]

:xoxo: :xoxo:

I went back and read this thread awhile back when I was on a downer. It's kind of a forgotten gem, but I had tears rolling by the time I got to the end. http://ledge.fleetwoodmac.net/showthread.php?t=18583

[Nixxxed]

Bleh.

I'm right there with ya. For me, this year has absolutely, positively, completely, and concretely sucked. Worst . year . ever And maintaining some semblance of sanity during an election year when the air is charged with negativity and conflict, then having to deal with a never ending stream of crises, death, estrangement, and illness (with a sprinkling of mania) was certainly not easy. It's taken all my Excaliburs not to "take the gas pipe" (name that Woody Allen movie!).

I would say, "I'm glad I'm not the only one." But I'm not. It's awful when bad things (even moods) happen to good people.

I can't remember if you like Rufus or not, but here:

"As In Happy"

Wish I could be more less, wish I could be less more
Underneath the dress is a gun pointing at the floor
Wish I could be less me, and a little more like you
I'd finally confess to all the things you make me do

Oh, I've been saying all I can today,
And nothing seems to make me gay

Maybe the critic was right and my work is just therapy,
Or maybe she was wrong and on the rag feeling slightly icky
Maybe I would rather just be on speed,
Or perhaps it would help if I had the right to get my sad-ass married

Oh, I've been saying all I can today,
And nothing seems to make me gay (as in happy!)

:xoxo: :xoxo: :xoxo:

[markolas]

I hear ya on that one, babe.

I probably should've attempted to be more helpful than that. :D

Everybody's an @$$hole at times, even the people you listed as Ledgies you love/admire. It's hard to see the good in people, but it's there, even though most of them rarely act like it. And unfortunately, people's actions are what you have to deal with on a daily basis, not their potential.

The world is a crappy place right now, and I don't have much hope that things will turn around. On top of that, I've been having some personal difficulties that have been stressing me out. And in spite of all that, I'm probably the happiest I've ever been. I think you have to find something to carry you through all of life's ups and downs, something bigger than the ups and downs.

[Sugar]

Why am I so cranked out lately???



Dude, just get some sleep.

:sorry:

As for the rest of it, yeah I think there has been something cosmicly (?) wrong with this year. But questioning ain't bad. It's good to reassess things every now and then.

Just remember everyone's on their own trip and how someone else acts has very little to do with you and a hell of a lot more to do with him/her.

Don't bother with "compassion and love for humanity." Holy crap, that sounds like a lot of work and you're right a lot of them don't deserve it. Save your love and compassion for those who have earned it...at least until you build up your reserves. I'm not saying to buy a shotgun and start taking out people at your local convienience store, but don't put yourself out if you're just gonna resent it in the end.

Tired of being cynical? Can't help you on that. I think cynicism is healthy. Why are you tired of it? Again, nothing wrong with questioning motives or intentions.

Don't over think it, and don't convince yourself that if you were just a little less yourself things would be better. Maybe you're just a funky guy. I like funky guys...damn well prefer funky guys. I'm pretty funky myself. For god's sake don't go trying to be some happy sappy pollyanna...thing.

Sounds to me like you just need to reel it in a little. It's OK to pull down the shades and barricade yourself in every now and then. Put "That's All For Everyone" on repest.

Is this making any sense? Told you I was a little funky.

Don't let the buggers get you down.

[gldstwmn]

I'm a virgo. Any good men coming my way? Since you're in love, maybe you can figure this out for me! hahaha... :lol:

The only thing I know about Virgo is that all of the prominent men in my life have been one. :sorry: And I'm just in love with being in love. :shrug: :)

[gldstwmn]

You're a pillar of the Ledge.

I wouldn't have half my collection without Brian. I bet a whole lot of other people could say the same..

[gldstwmn]

I am an Aries with an Aquarius ascendant. I have FIVE planets in Aries and Saturn is in fall whilst being very poorly aspected. So, basically, I a hot-headed infant who likes being lazy and telling authority to go fukc themselves. Oh, well...... :laugh:

How could we be so opposite yet so alike? :laugh: I'm very weak in the fire signs which you've got an awful lot of and Saturn is my ruling planet. Interesting.

[BTFLCHLD]

Why am I so cranked out lately???(BTFLCHLDLSLDFLD)...
wow towie...I have only read your initial post. I must say that your post is superb. I found it to be very thoughtful and heartfelt. With regard to "me," towie, you are very special to me and I can not imagine my world without "me." Honestly. :xoxo: Off to read the other posts...and for goodness sake PM me what the additional letters are! ;) Is isn't, by chance, Loves Silly Lindsey Dying For Lindsey Dying?

[amber]

I am an Aries with an Aquarius ascendant. I have FIVE planets in Aries and Saturn is in fall whilst being very poorly aspected.
I forgot you had rising aquarius too. I remember we had a discussion about why your Saturn is in fall b/c I had a different perspective of your Saturn. You totally said a bunch of cool stuff I hadn't thought of before. I forget where your Saturn is now. Then I think we had a short pissing contest about who's Saturn + aspects were worse. :laugh:


So, basically, I'm a hot-headed infant who likes being lazy and telling authority to go fukc themselves. Oh, well...... :laugh:

I've heard there's more of us out there...but we keep arguing so we don't form a club. :laugh:

Mercury just finished being retrograde and the Saturn Neptune opposition supposedly causes a lot of turmoil. that could be affecting you, if that's your thing. I've fallen in love with astrology again. What's your sign?

Wow, I didn't think about the Saturn Neptune opposition, and it isn't over for awhile.
Chris, I had some nice hopes for the coming month - Jupiter finally went into Sag, and a bunch of other things do throughout the month. Mercury, Mars, and Jupiter will be making a triple conjunction in Sag. from Dec. 9-11. Luckily, I already have plans to go out.
I guess I feel like for this cycle, the worst is over, so the next month will be good and especially b/c of the Sag conglomeration. I have Moon, Neptune, and Midheaven all together in Sag., maybe I am biased...I guess more accurately, the moon and neptune are conjunct in Sag. in the 9th house, and the midheaven there is just the midheaven. Whatever, nevermind.

I just checked Stariq.com, though, and they aren't forcasting the rosy month I had anticipated. But they are taking a more collective view.
Meh. What is your moon, Chris, I forgot? You're weak in the Fire signs? That isn't so bad. I am Earth weak. Or rather, Earth non existent.

pbbbbblllllltttt.

[SuzeQuze]

The only thing I know about Virgo is that all of the prominent men in my life have been one. :sorry: And I'm just in love with being in love. :shrug: :)

My ex fiance is a Virgo. So I hear ya on that one Chris.

[skcin]

Thanks for that thread link, Krista. You're consistent, hey and that's good. :p

[GypsySorcerer]

Thanks for that thread link, Krista. You're consistent, hey and that's good. :p

You're welcome. Now....who wants to stand in my gallery? :lol:

[gldstwmn]

I
Wow, I didn't think about the Saturn Neptune opposition, and it isn't over for awhile.
Chris, I had some nice hopes for the coming month - Jupiter finally went into Sag, and a bunch of other things do throughout the month. Mercury, Mars, and Jupiter will be making a triple conjunction in Sag. from Dec. 9-11. Luckily, I already have plans to go out.
I guess I feel like for this cycle, the worst is over, so the next month will be good and especially b/c of the Sag conglomeration. I have Moon, Neptune, and Midheaven all together in Sag., maybe I am biased...I guess more accurately, the moon and neptune are conjunct in Sag. in the 9th house, and the midheaven there is just the midheaven. Whatever, nevermind.

I just checked Stariq.com, though, and they aren't forcasting the rosy month I had anticipated. But they are taking a more collective view.
Meh. What is your moon, Chris, I forgot? You're weak in the Fire signs? That isn't so bad. I am Earth weak. Or rather, Earth non existent.

pbbbbblllllltttt.

I'm just going to hope for the best, although the strong presence of Jupiter is reassuring. I am feeling more creative and inspired than I have been for a long time. Sagittarius is my midheaven as well and yes, I am weak in fire. The only fire signs on my chart are Aries in Jupiter and the aforementioned Sagittarius. My moon and my ascendant are both Pisces.:rolleyes: Oy. :laugh:

[gldstwmn]

You're welcome. Now....who wants to stand in my gallery? :lol:

Just tell me to go home. :o

[estranged4life]

I'm right there with ya. For me, this year has absolutely, positively, completely, and concretely sucked. Worst . year . ever

when in a space of 7 months I lost both Grandfather's & my Father (I was a 7 yr. old kid, and I learned at that age that life abso-tively f**king blows goat parts)

But 2005 proved worse than 1977 ever could be, Losing my Mother has/will/forever be harder than any other death in my family.

This year hasnt been as bad...Hopefully 2007 will be better for everyone.



Btw, Deb's a Leo and I'm a Taurus...We get along fine, thank you!

[CelticGypsy]

I never make any of these lists.....:( :shrug: :blob2:


Me neither:( :lol: I am just one of those happy go-lucky-Stevie Nicks loving grandmother's:xoxo: :laugh: Guess that means, my life is boooorrrrring:eek:

[skcin]

Me either. It's like being back at school.
But you'd be on my list!
Gerald and Hayley, oh and Michelle too!

I'm sure he purposely left you off since you haven't been around much lately. All that cavorting around with Lionel's clay head. You hussy.

[Rickypt]

I didn't really know how to respond on this thread, other than tell Tower I think he's great. But I can relate to a lot of what he said...I guess we all can.

My strategy when I get cranked out (which, thankfully, doesn't include getting cranked "on" anymore) is to make my world smaller. Shut out everything that is making it hard to be happy, or at peace. Sometimes that means my world is really small and consists of two cats and a television. Sometimes, like lately as I'm feeling quite optimistic these days, my world gets bigger and I do things like take chances and meet a bunch of new people in Vegas, and I read the paper because I find hope, and...etc.

Well, I know what I'm saying, but can't articulate it. :o

[Sugar]

My strategy when I get cranked out (which, thankfully, doesn't include getting cranked "on" anymore) is to make my world smaller. Shut out everything that is making it hard to be happy, or at peace. Sometimes that means my world is really small and consists of two cats and a television. Sometimes, like lately as I'm feeling quite optimistic these days, my world gets bigger and I do things like take chances and meet a bunch of new people in Vegas, and I read the paper because I find hope, and...etc.

Well, I know what I'm saying, but can't articulate it. :o

This is part of what I was saying. I get it.

[amber]

Ryan, I thought what you said was very well expressed.




I'm just going to hope for the best, although the strong presence of Jupiter is reassuring. I am feeling more creative and inspired than I have been for a long time. Sagittarius is my midheaven as well and yes, I am weak in fire. The only fire signs on my chart are Aries in Jupiter and the aforementioned Sagittarius. My moon and my ascendant are both Pisces.:rolleyes: Oy. :laugh:

That's right, I remember thinking that was a nice combination. You'll be all nice and sweet, gain everyone's goodwill, be very approachable and sympathetic seeming...and then....POW! Capricorn them! :laugh: Just kidding, but i do think that is a nice combination. It combines intuition and ambition really well. And of course, Sagittarius is the best midheaven...:cool: :p

I just read this, so I decided to post it since we were talking about it. It isn't incredibly deep, but it has its informative moments.

"For the Week of November 30, 2006
The Aquarium Age is a report on the general astrological patterns of the coming week for all signs, not just Aquariums.

Jupiter in Sagittarius: Part Two

It’s a stop/start, push/pull, should/shouldn’t sort of week, so don’t be surprised if you or yours feel discombobulated or disorientated by the air of uncertainty. Nothing is as it was and what’s new hasn’t even started to settle into what will be. We’re on the threshold of a new Jupiter cycle, which means many of us are caught in the thrall of the “new,” mesmerized by the possibilities and not thinking about the long-term consequences of our choices. What’s more, because the signature of this new Jupiter cycle is highly optimistic, it is possible to get swept away by the tides wishful thinking. I’m not suggesting a negative stance—not at all—I’m simply advising a thoughtful attitude that realistically considers as many options as possible.

Jupiter entered Sagittarius, its Home Sign, on Thanksgiving, and will stay in Sagittarius for approximately one year. Always larger than life, Jupiter enjoys facilitating a broad perspective and a wide view. Significantly, Jupiter returns to Sagittarius for the last full year of Pluto’s journey through Sagittarius, a transit that began in January 1995 and starts to end in January of 2008.

Sagittarius is the Sign of synthesis; symbolized by the Archer/Centaur, who aims for the stars, as he is simultaneously rooted to the earth in a body, half human and half horse. The Archer represents the urge to unite instinct with reason and intuition with intellect. All spiritual and philosophic traditions fall within the domain of Sagittarius and its Ruling Planet, Jupiter. Together, Sagittarius and Jupiter hold all the stories humans have told to give meaning to existence. And that includes religion—its practice, as well as its dogma.

Pluto always examines—no, make that exhumes—the underbelly of a Sign, and because Sagittarius is about spiritual diversity, its shadow can be seen as rigid adherence to a belief systems—a one way and one way only attitude. It’s no astrological accident that since Pluto, the Prime Mover of Transformation, has been transiting Sagittarius we have been confronting the certainty of fundamentalism. Pluto’s journey through Sagittarius has also made it abundantly clear that we are a global community and what happens to one happens to the many.

As this new cycle unfolds, use Jupiter in Sagittarius to expand your perspective. Yes, Jupiter symbolizes excess and yes, again, we are sure to experience exaggeration of every size. But sometimes life needs to be lived large. Jupiter also signifies the capacity to laugh at life’s ironies and to live life joyously. So when possible, allow yourself the pleasure of laughter and the sound of a happy heart."

And here is your horoscope this week from same article, just for fun.
Capricorn
"Connect with your unconscious and you’ll satisfy your desire for a shift in perspective. Simply allow your imagination to stretch the limits of your horizon, and you’ll create your own version of Fantasy Island."