View Full Version : Grieving wife sliced off willy
gldstwmn
09-14-2006, 11:18 PM
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006420225,00.html
September 12, 2006
A WIFE aged 65 chopped off her dead husband’s willy in hospital — so she could keep it in a pickling jar as a souvenir.
Uta Schneider used a butcher’s knife to hack off the “treasured” manhood. She wrapped it in foil and put it in a lunchbox — next to gherkins.
But she was spotted by a nurse and arrested in Stuttgart, Germany. She is accused of mutilation.
Uta was wed to Heinrich, 68, for 35 years.
She told police: “It was his best asset and gave me so much pleasure.
“I wanted to pickle it for eternity — he would have wanted it. We called it his joystick. I wanted it to remember him by.”
estranged4life
09-14-2006, 11:24 PM
Uta Schneider used a butcher’s knife to hack off the “treasured” manhood. She wrapped it in foil and put it in a lunchbox — next to gherkins.
a new meaning to "jerk the gherkins" :lol:
sparky
09-14-2006, 11:41 PM
Must have been a hell of a piece.
carrie721
09-15-2006, 12:12 AM
omg. no effing way.
diamondsnake
09-15-2006, 12:28 AM
That is nasty! But, she shouldn't be arrested. They were married for 35 years after all...
irishgrl
09-15-2006, 07:50 AM
can you say OBSESSED boys and girls? :eek:
sammigold
09-15-2006, 08:02 AM
Wow! I hope she didnt want to have it stuffed! I can just see her taxidermy collection... "and this was my dog, rover, and here is my cat, clarissa.... oh... yes... and here is the love of my life.. Willy!! .... Oooh I wish I had some batteries... I miss him sooooo much"
Oops...thats probably a little mean spirited... the poor old thing... I wouldnt want to have to say goodbye to my darling after 35 years... although I dont know that I'd hack off good ol willy for rememberance...;)
strandinthewind
09-15-2006, 08:26 AM
Well, she should have had a mols made of it and then had it cast like they do porn stars and me :shrug:
JazmenFlowers
09-15-2006, 08:39 AM
Well, she should have had a mols made of it and then had it cast like they do porn stars and me :shrug:
good point there sir.
and I will casually overlook the fact that you suggest there is a mold of you out there somewhere...:laugh:
strandinthewind
09-15-2006, 09:03 AM
^^^^^
http://www.1adultsextoystore.com/common/createamate/?CFID=457619&CFTOKEN=78322787
WARNING - HYSTERICAL BUT ADULT LINK!!!!!!!!!
JazmenFlowers
09-15-2006, 09:04 AM
^^^^^
http://www.1adultsextoystore.com/common/createamate/?CFID=457619&CFTOKEN=78322787
WARNING - HYSTERICAL BUT ADULT LINK!!!!!!!!!
yeah, this one will have to wait til I'm at the hizzouse. :laugh:
ryan8472
09-15-2006, 09:16 AM
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Oh that is grand.
estranged4life
09-15-2006, 09:30 AM
"oh... yes... and here is the love of my life.. Willy!! .... Oooh I wish I had some batteries... I miss him sooooo much"
this quote reminds me of a joke:
Q-Why did God put men on Earth?
A-Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn
macmar71
09-15-2006, 09:32 AM
Very Strange!!!!:lol: :nod:
strandinthewind
09-15-2006, 09:39 AM
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Oh that is grand.
Leave it to me to further smut up a thread!!!!!
DrummerDeanna
09-15-2006, 12:28 PM
this quote reminds me of a joke:
Q-Why did God put men on Earth?
A-Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn
:laugh: Oh my God -that's funny.
And I'm not sure the initial story in this post is supposed to be funny - but I am laughing my ass off over here. That's too funny - poor woman - she shouldn't have been arrested - the man's dead - he won't need his "joystick" :shrug:
SortaSavageLike
09-15-2006, 12:31 PM
You all saw it coming, but....
TUSK! :p
DrummerDeanna
09-15-2006, 12:33 PM
You all saw it coming, but....
TUSK! :p
Gooooan.
:lol: :lol: That is pretty funny, actually.
SuzeQuze
09-15-2006, 12:35 PM
You all saw it coming, but....
TUSK! :p
Stevie, Christine, and I don't think that's very funny!
:lol: :laugh: :lol:
estranged4life
09-15-2006, 12:37 PM
:laugh: Oh my God -that's funny.
And I'm not sure the initial story in this post is supposed to be funny - but I am laughing my ass off over here. That's too funny - poor woman - she shouldn't have been arrested - the man's dead - he won't need his "joystick" :shrug:
Q-Why do men become smarter during sex?
A-Because they are plugged into a genius
Q-Why don't women blink during sex?
A-They don't have enough time
Q-Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A-They don't stop to ask directions
Q-Why do men snore when they lie of their backs?
A-Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they
vapor lock
Q-Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A-So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties
Q-Why did God make men before women?
A-You need a rough draft before you make a final copy
Q-How many men does it take to put a toilet seat down?
A-Don't know.....it never happened
gldstwmn
09-15-2006, 01:04 PM
And I'm not sure the initial story in this post is supposed to be funny - but I am laughing my ass off over here. That's too funny - poor woman - she shouldn't have been arrested - the man's dead - he won't need his "joystick" :shrug:
I laughed too. And then I felt bad about it. :o :laugh:
Johnny Stew
09-15-2006, 03:00 PM
I am very, very scared that Jason and I had the same idea (one of those do-it-yourself plaster-caster-like molds). :shocked:
DavidMn
09-15-2006, 03:01 PM
I wonder if this guy was related to Johnny Wad?:lol:
strandinthewind
09-15-2006, 03:34 PM
I am very, very scared that Jason and I had the same idea (one of those do-it-yourself plaster-caster-like molds). :shocked:
Well, that is the method I suggest for everyone else :wavey: :wavey:
DrummerDeanna
09-15-2006, 03:36 PM
I am very, very scared that Jason and I had the same idea (one of those do-it-yourself plaster-caster-like molds). :shocked:
Well after a whirlwind viewing of all 6 season of Sex and the City recently - that's exactly where my mind went too :laugh:
Johnny Stew
09-15-2006, 03:41 PM
Well after a whirlwind viewing of all 6 season of Sex and the City recently - that's exactly where my mind went too :laugh:One of the least-known facts about me... except in my circle of friends... is that my mind is perpetually in the gutter. It's fun to play innocent though. ;) :angel:
strandinthewind
09-15-2006, 04:03 PM
One of the least-known facts about me... except in my circle of friends... is that my mind is perpetually in the gutter. It's fun to play innocent though. ;) :angel:
How else do you think we met - You had no home when you got the neighborhood!
CelticGypsy
09-15-2006, 09:53 PM
Poor lady. She must have been really grieving and didn't know what she was doing:distress:
Johnny Stew
09-16-2006, 02:18 PM
Sadly, my mind immediately went on the same track as Messrs. strandinthwind and Johnny Stew when I first read this article last night.You're a junior-pervert, and we all know it. ;)
:xoxo:
mikeschmike
09-20-2006, 03:58 PM
This is why i shouldn't stray away from the ledge on weekends. I miss gems like this!
Poor lady, i feel bad for her. Seriously though, she had to have been dicknotized by this guy to hack it off as a keepsake. Go Germany!
mylittledemon
09-20-2006, 04:16 PM
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006420225,00.html
September 12, 2006
A WIFE aged 65 chopped off her dead husband’s willy in hospital — so she could keep it in a pickling jar as a souvenir.
Uta Schneider used a butcher’s knife to hack off the “treasured” manhood. She wrapped it in foil and put it in a lunchbox — next to gherkins.
But she was spotted by a nurse and arrested in Stuttgart, Germany. She is accused of mutilation.
Uta was wed to Heinrich, 68, for 35 years.
She told police: “It was his best asset and gave me so much pleasure.
“I wanted to pickle it for eternity — he would have wanted it. We called it his joystick. I wanted it to remember him by.”
I dont care if it was the biggest/best schlong known in the world, that's still extremely weird.
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