legal professionals

[JazmenFlowers]

I was just wondering who all is in the legal profession besides me and strandie...

[Livia]

Me! I'm a Legal Assistant - I support 3 1/2 attorneys. 2 of which are on vacation right now. :blob1:

The 1/2 attorney lives in El Paso, and I usually only spend about 30 minutes a week doing stuff for her, so she doesn't really count.

I love what I do, but everything you've heard about attorneys is true. Except for Strand - he probably NEVER procrastinates. :rolleyes:

[irishgrl]

I am Certified Paralegal, but I dont work at it. It doesnt pay enuff in the private sector in my neck of the woods.

[strandinthewind]

. . . he probably NEVER procrastinates. :rolleyes:

LOL - hardly ever!!!

[amber]

Me! I'm a Legal Assistant - I support 3 1/2 attorneys. 2 of which are on vacation right now. :blob1:

The 1/2 attorney lives in El Paso, and I usually only spend about 30 minutes a week doing stuff for her, so she doesn't really count.

I love what I do, but everything you've heard about attorneys is true. Except for Strand - he probably NEVER procrastinates. :rolleyes:

What kind of attorneys? I notice you own a house...just scoping it out. :laugh:
Whenever I'm looking at the jobs on Craigslist, it appears that IP paralegals/assistants are the highest paid.

[gypsysoul]

I'm a barrister in London.
The profession is separated in England - solicitors and barristers. Barristers are the freaks who wear wigs and gowns.
Wigs can make even geeky men look distinguished, they just make us females look like stripogram girls:eek:

[Livia]

Yes, it pays well, but also comes with a LOT of BS. I always say I'm really an actress (but you'll never really know)...you have to be thick-skinned and able to handle all personality types - all the difficult ones. Multi-task and kiss ass at the same time. I cope by making up nicknames for everyone and amusing myself w/ my own internal dialogue - a la Stewy from the Family Guy. Venting to friends via email throughout the day helps. They think it's hilarious.

IP is booming right now - I think that would be interesting to do. I'd love to get into copyright/publishing/entertainment law. We do education/employment/administrative law. We represent school district employees all over Texas. So, not much litigation, which is great. That's where the high turnover rate is with secretaries - in litigation - cuz it sucks. We are a boutique law firm, and most of us don't believe in working more than 40 hours/week, so we don't. One of my guys is a workaholic - he's here every weekend, and doesn't even need to be. It's sad, really. He's got a wife and 2 young daughters who rarely see him. Alternatively, there are other attorneys in our firm who are the "fun dads." They hardly work at all during the summer - always got some activity planned w/ the kids. I also have my own office, I'm wearing jeans and flip-flops and I have the radio blaring. The pay is not as good as a big-time firm, in a skyscraper downtown - but the other perks are worth it. The other secretary here took a huge cut in pay, for less bs, casual dress code, etc.

[amber]

Yes, it pays well, but also comes with a LOT of BS. I always say I'm really an actress (but you'll never really know)...you have to be thick-skinned and able to handle all personality types - all the difficult ones. Multi-task and kiss ass at the same time. I cope by making up nicknames for everyone and amusing myself w/ my own internal dialogue - a la Stewy from the Family Guy. Venting to friends via email throughout the day helps. They think it's hilarious.
Crap, I'm terrible at that. I should've gone to school just to learn that.
:laugh:

IP is booming right now - I think that would be interesting to do. I'd love to get into copyright/publishing/entertainment law.
The adds are usually say they start at 65-75K. :shocked: I would be filthy rich if I made that much. :p Yes, I thought it was interesting, too.

We do education/employment/administrative law. We represent school district employees all over Texas. So, not much litigation, which is great. That's where the high turnover rate is with secretaries - in litigation - cuz it sucks. We are a boutique law firm, and most of us don't believe in working more than 40 hours/week, so we don't. One of my guys is a workaholic - he's here every weekend, and doesn't even need to be. It's sad, really. He's got a wife and 2 young daughters who rarely see him. Alternatively, there are other attorneys in our firm who are the "fun dads." They hardly work at all during the summer - always got some activity planned w/ the kids. I also have my own office, I'm wearing jeans and flip-flops and I have the radio blaring. The pay is not as good as a big-time firm, in a skyscraper downtown - but the other perks are worth it. The other secretary here took a huge cut in pay, for less bs, casual dress code, etc.
That sounds very awesome. I swear, I don't know why, and it might be stupid, but I'd trade a lot to be able to wear (basically) what I wanted to work. I'm not crossing my fingers on that one, but it would be great. They dressed casually at Earthjustice, but...

I got the impression that quite a few people want to work in litigation, because it is exciting? Or maybe it pays better? It's completely stressful though, right? I don't know if I would want to.

Thanks for sharing - your job sounds pretty darn good, too. :nod: It's nice for me to see how many different kinds of law settings are out there, I don't really know much about it in the real world, if that makes sense.

[DavidMn]

I'm a barrister in London.
The profession is separated in England - solicitors and barristers. Barristers are the freaks who wear wigs and gowns.
Wigs can make even geeky men look distinguished, they just make us females look like stripogram girls:eek:Thats very interesting. DO you hear alot of cases?

[gypsysoul]

I'm in court pretty much every day, David.
My area of practice is not a nice one (child abuse) and it gets very stressful at times but certainly there's never a dull moment when you're cross examining people and trying to catch them out!
Also, as you know, I also do my journalism too, so, yeah, I'm pretty busy.

[DavidMn]

I'm in court pretty much every day, David.
My area of practice is not a nice one (child abuse) and it gets very stressful at times but certainly there's never a dull moment when you're cross examining people and trying to catch them out!
Also, as you know, I also do my journalism too, so, yeah, I'm pretty busy.Oh on that note, I'll share some more stories with you soon. SOrry! but I've been very busy lately. I'm glad you enjoy hearing them!:cool:

[JazmenFlowers]

Yes, it pays well, but also comes with a LOT of BS. I always say I'm really an actress (but you'll never really know)...you have to be thick-skinned and able to handle all personality types - all the difficult ones. Multi-task and kiss ass at the same time. I cope by making up nicknames for everyone and amusing myself w/ my own internal dialogue - a la Stewy from the Family Guy. Venting to friends via email throughout the day helps. They think it's hilarious.

IP is booming right now - I think that would be interesting to do. I'd love to get into copyright/publishing/entertainment law. We do education/employment/administrative law. We represent school district employees all over Texas. So, not much litigation, which is great. That's where the high turnover rate is with secretaries - in litigation - cuz it sucks. We are a boutique law firm, and most of us don't believe in working more than 40 hours/week, so we don't. One of my guys is a workaholic - he's here every weekend, and doesn't even need to be. It's sad, really. He's got a wife and 2 young daughters who rarely see him. Alternatively, there are other attorneys in our firm who are the "fun dads." They hardly work at all during the summer - always got some activity planned w/ the kids. I also have my own office, I'm wearing jeans and flip-flops and I have the radio blaring. The pay is not as good as a big-time firm, in a skyscraper downtown - but the other perks are worth it. The other secretary here took a huge cut in pay, for less bs, casual dress code, etc.
damn...you sound just like me! I had no idea you were a paralegal!

I work in toxic tort/product liability. at my last firm it was strictly asbestos and a few silicosis/welding rod cases and worked with a lot of firms in TX. at my new firm I work in the same area, but not asbestos, it's for a company that makes metalworking fluids.

[amber]

damn...you sound just like me! I had no idea you were a paralegal!

I work in toxic tort/product liability. at my last firm it was strictly asbestos and a few silicosis/welding rod cases and worked with a lot of firms in TX. at my new firm I work in the same area, but not asbestos, it's for a company that makes metalworking fluids.

Does that mean defense?

[JazmenFlowers]

Does that mean defense?
yeah..sorry, forgot to add that

[amber]

yeah..sorry, forgot to add that

That's cool - my favorite teacher was a lawyer in asbestos defense. I got the impression it was lucrative. But he was the one who said it happens a lot that he'll do all the trial prep, tons of discovery, etc. - and at the last minute they will settle. So you do all that work and then don't need it. I mean, it sounds bad, but you have to do it. Still, I think it would be frustrating to do all of that trial prep all the time, and then rarely have a trial.

[JunkFoodGenius]

I'm a legal data clerk in a workers' compensation chain in California by day.

By night, I'm Batman.

[JazmenFlowers]

That's cool - my favorite teacher was a lawyer in asbestos defense. I got the impression it was lucrative. But he was the one who said it happens a lot that he'll do all the trial prep, tons of discovery, etc. - and at the last minute they will settle. So you do all that work and then don't need it. I mean, it sounds bad, but you have to do it. Still, I think it would be frustrating to do all of that trial prep all the time, and then rarely have a trial.
very true. the thing is the better defense you've prepared the less you settle for so it ends up being good for your client. a claim that's worth $200K can easily settle for $4K...I've seen it happen. asbestos is going away though rapidly...at least here with recent Supreme Court decisions

[tynan88]

I'm a barrister in London.
The profession is separated in England - solicitors and barristers. Barristers are the freaks who wear wigs and gowns.
Wigs can make even geeky men look distinguished, they just make us females look like stripogram girls:eek:

Wow I'd love to do that, did you begin work as a solicitor or did you go straight for the bar? I know I'd like to work as a barrister but I'll probably go be a solicitor first as it can be way too hard to go straight to self employment.

If you don't mind me asking does it pay well?

[gypsysoul]

Hi Tynan
Like most barristers I went straight to the Bar after studying. Very few become solicitors and then change. They are very different jobs really.

I never even considered becoming a solicitor as I didn't want the hassle of having to deal with office admin paperwork or having to see clients all the time.
As a barrister I just see clients at court and don't have to take their phone calls at all times of the day and night!

Yes, having to wait for your fees to come in instead of having a regular monthly salary is annoying but that's the downside of being self employed. However, when I'm not in court my time is my own - this is great for me since I do some freelance journalism work.

As for money - yes it can pay very well. Like any profession, at the higher end you can make a fortune.

In the mid range you can make a very good living. And even at its lowest end you can always be just one case away from the big one!

What stage are you at? I'm happy to give you any tips you might need.

[tynan88]

What stage are you at? I'm happy to give you any tips you might need.

Thanks! I'm still quite away off...I'm actually in Australia where I am fairly sure our systems are very close if not identical (including the wigs) and I will only be starting my 5 year degree next year.

The reason I ask about you getting straight on to the bar is because a couple of younger barristers I know were initially solicitors as a way of making contacts and the likes but you are so right about the boring paper work!

How long have you been practicing now? Have you ever had any great troubles?

I have always found the entire legal industry so different to anything else. I suppose it woul be the same in America where it is so very insular and even from the time you study it becomes this little clique of law students.

PS: Anyone please also add to experiences in the legal culture!

[markolas]

I love what I do, but everything you've heard about attorneys is true. Except for Strand - he probably NEVER procrastinates. :rolleyes:

Maybe I should be an attorney. :D

[markolas]

What kind of attorneys? I notice you own a house...just scoping it out. :laugh:
Whenever I'm looking at the jobs on Craigslist, it appears that IP paralegals/assistants are the highest paid.

Maybe I need to check this out. :nod: What do you have to do, go to school, or something?

[JazmenFlowers]

Maybe I need to check this out. :nod: What do you have to do, go to school, or something?
it's a good profession to be in, really, if you can handle the stress and the egos of most of the attorneys. and law firms are all about politics. I always say I feel like I'm on Big Brother.

anyway, yes, there are programs in schools to be a paralegal, but I have an English degree and had 6 years of legal experience which got my foot in the door so I became a paralegal through experience, which used to be the norm, but I think now a lot more people are going through a paralegal certification program. I've been in the legal field for close to 10 years now. I don't want to do this forever, but you make good connections, it's great all-around experience and the pay is good.

[markolas]

it's a good profession to be in, really, if you can handle the stress and the egos of most of the attorneys. and law firms are all about politics. I always say I feel like I'm on Big Brother.

Hm. I dunno. See, right now I'm an insurance coder, and the pay is ****. Plus, I feel like I'm helping these smarmy agents rip off old people. I don't want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire, as far as that goes. As far as politics and egos...generally I have zero tolerance for that kind of crap, but if the price is right, I might be able to put up with it. :nod:

And I wouldn't be doing it forever...just long enough for me to rathole half a million dollars or so.

[JazmenFlowers]

Hm. I dunno. See, right now I'm an insurance coder, and the pay is ****. Plus, I feel like I'm helping these smarmy agents rip off old people. I don't want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire, as far as that goes. As far as politics and egos...generally I have zero tolerance for that kind of crap, but if the price is right, I might be able to put up with it. :nod:

And I wouldn't be doing it forever...just long enough for me to rathole half a million dollars or so.
dude...I'm with you! you got the right idea.

[DavidMn]

it's a good profession to be in, really, if you can handle the stress and the egos of most of the attorneys. and law firms are all about politics. I always say I feel like I'm on Big Brother.

anyway, yes, there are programs in schools to be a paralegal, but I have an English degree and had 6 years of legal experience which got my foot in the door so I became a paralegal through experience, which used to be the norm, but I think now a lot more people are going through a paralegal certification program. I've been in the legal field for close to 10 years now. I don't want to do this forever, but you make good connections, it's great all-around experience and the pay is good.I refuse to believe Attorneys have ego's.....:laugh:

[Mad4stevie]

I practiced family law for 6 years before I went into education. I tried out all kinds - large firm, then small firm, then self-employment. While I like the law, I HATED all the b.s. that came with it. The politics, the egos, the crazy clients, the unsupportive supervisors, the backstabbing, etc. I probably had more drama in my job because all I did was divorce and custody cases. It was a job that was high on emotion and low on pay. I suffered greatly because I really gave away too much of myself for the job. My clients LOVED me because they got my undivided attention and could slide on their bills. Of course, that is my own responsibility, to set limits on those things. BUT when you are so worn out by all the drama, your needs always seem to take a back set to everyone else's needs.

Thankfully, a new job opportunity literally saved my emotional and financial life - I took a job as the director of a paralegal program and I love it! I have also been tapped to create a new criminal justice program at my college, so I feel like I must be doing something right! I look back now, and never would go back to the crappy custody litigation that sucked the life out of me.

Some people cannot understand why I would ever not want to be in practice . . . well, those people have never worked it the legal profession!

[amber]

Maybe I need to check this out. :nod: What do you have to do, go to school, or something?
That is what I did, having no legal experience. My degree so far is an AA, but it is no cake walk, the classes are definitely challenging enough.

It would be hard to get a paralegal job right when I finish, you still have to get experience. Few law offices hire inexperienced paralegals.

Most of my classes are law classes, the rest are writing classes, writing about the law. And a couple work experience classes. I had one non law (psych) class for the requirement. Also, the certificate is less units than the AA degree, I already have the certificate requirements done.

To give you an idea, I had to take:
Commercial Law 1&2 (Business Law)
Intro to Legal Assisting (you learn procedural things here, about the courts)
Legal Research and Writing 1&2
Civil Litigation
Family Law (elective)
Intellectual Property (elective)
Investigation, Discovery, & Trial Prep (my favorite)
Wills, Trusts, & Probate Law (too much math, this one is boring :laugh: )
Environmental Law (this was an elective, you have a couple different ones to choose from)
Work Experience (volunteering/interning in a legal setting)

The semester coming up will be my last, and I have left to take:
Torts
Law Office Management & Procedures
Civil & Criminal Evidence

I also have to take Statistics and Speech, but those are transfer requirements, not requirements for the paralegal degree. This is going to be a boring semester...:laugh:

You'll also need computer skills. Word, Wordperfect and others, depending.

IP (what you experessed interest in?) pays so well because it's a very specialized field. I believe my teacher told us that IP lawyers need engineering degrees, too, or something like that. I'm not sure that is it, but. Because they deal with patents in addition to the other aspects of IP law.

The whole thing hasn't been that bad, though, I've done my schoolwork probably an average on medium effort, and I have a 3.0.

[gypsysoul]

Hello Tynan
Replying to your questions:
Yes i think the system in England and Australia is probably similar - just as India, Pakistan and many of the African countries etc have a very English legal system because of the past when this small island ruled the world!

However, I think you may have a slightly different definition of solicitor and barrister. In England we barristers get ouR cases from Solicitors not directly from clients.
The best way to describe it is like a doctor and a specialist. Barristers are the specialists who take on a case from a solicitor who passes it on to them for presentation in court and for specialist advice etc but still retains the day to day handling of the case.

Because they are two very separate areas of practice, people don't usually start as one thing and then transfer. But maybe it's less defined in Australia and people do move between the two.

Yes, I have had some big cases.
This past year for example, 4 of my cases have made the national media and in one instance the international press too.
However this is quite rare. Due to the subject matter of my special area, my work is usually very low key and out of the public eye.

[Neb-Maat-Re]

I work for the local equivalent of what most of you would call the DA, but I am not a lawyer myself.

However, I think you may have a slightly different definition of solicitor and barrister.

Each State in Aus has it's own legal system (and different names for the various Courts), but most States do have a fused legal profession - that is, when you become Admitted you are Admitted as a Barrister and a Solicitor. I think in Queensland they are still seperate but in NSW where Tynan is and here in Victoria it's fused.

Having said that, most people make a choice to practice as either a Barrister or as a Solicitor, and here in Victoria even though you are Admitted you still need to do an additional Bar Reader's course before going to the Bar.

[JazmenFlowers]

I hate the legal field. that's all.

if I ever get out of it, I'll be extremely happy.

don't mind me, just a bad day and in a bitchy mood. I think I'll listen to Secret Love for the zillionth time and wallow in my sorrows.

[amber]

I hate the legal field. that's all.

if I ever get out of it, I'll be extremely happy.

don't mind me, just a bad day and in a bitchy mood. I think I'll listen to Secret Love for the zillionth time and wallow in my sorrows.

Good song choice. :D So, can I have your job? :laugh:

Hope you feel better soon. :xoxo:

[JazmenFlowers]

Good song choice. :D So, can I have your job? :laugh:

Hope you feel better soon. :xoxo:
believe me, right now, you wouldn't want it.

I'm better now...just get so damn tired of always picking up the pieces (no pun intended) and still getting bitched at.

[amber]

believe me, right now, you wouldn't want it.

I'm better now...just get so damn tired of always picking up the pieces (no pun intended) and still getting bitched at.

Did you fire those slags yet? :cool: You know, the ones who don't do work? :rolleyes:

[JazmenFlowers]

Did you fire those slags yet? :cool: You know, the ones who don't do work? :rolleyes:
waiting on HR. see...politics.

[Neb-Maat-Re]

don't mind me, just a bad day and in a bitchy mood.

No problems, Jaz - you vent if you need to.

Not much fun here. New CEO, much uncertainty about jobs, senior managers under the pump and in the firing line.

Although, she did tell me I'm OK and not to worry - actuality remains to be seen.

[JazmenFlowers]

No problems, Jaz - you vent if you need to.

Not much fun here. New CEO, much uncertainty about jobs, senior managers under the pump and in the firing line.

Although, she did tell me I'm OK and not to worry - actuality remains to be seen.
the funny thing about folks telling you that is, as you say, believe it when you see it. when people get more power, sometimes they will do things to those they really value the most just to save face or to impress those even higher up.

hope everything does work out ok though. :wavey:

[Neb-Maat-Re]

hope everything does work out ok though. :wavey:

Cheers.

Off to a good start - before she even started 2 people who know me told her I'd be good to work with. And we recently recruited a new Project Manager that she knew and had worked with before. When that person came in to discuss terms she told the CEO how much she enjoyed dealing with me.

I don't expect a promotion- although it would be nice. Just as long as she doesn't bring in some complete prat (or a ball-breaker) over the top of me - that happened a few years ago at what had been the best job I had ever had.

[elie]

I am a lawyer too.
Where I live, we don't have the distinction between barristers and sollicitors as they do in England, so we are all supposed to do the same things.
However, my area of practice is mostly international law, so I don't have regular clients/ court cases etc. Most of the time I am an 'Arbitrator assistant", which means that I do all the hard work ( and not getting any credit for it) for my boss who is an arbitrator in a couple of international arbitration cases.

[JazmenFlowers]

I just wanted to bump this thread because I have nowhere to really bitch or ask questions or discuss legal issues and work-related things.

any new members in the legal field?

any legal pros wanna bitch?

I've always said if it weren't for the conflicts, a law firm would make fabulous reality show!

[Livia]

A friend of mine loves to hear the stories of the crazy place I work - whether it's our wacky cases, or the wacky attorneys. She calls it "Austin Legal," and literally starts jonesing if we haven't talked for awhile. She wants to write a book. :)

I'm working on an Answer and just typed this - these are 2 female teachers who "allegedly" got into a fight on an elementary school playground:

Respondent denies that she “kicked” Ms. _________ with “the spike part of her dress shoe.” Respondent admits that she placed her right shoe (which had a flat sole) on Ms. ____________'s lower right back. Respondent didn’t push, and Ms. __________did not move at all.

I'll have more to add to this thread later...maybe Jason can give some advice on what we're doing in New Orleans.

[JazmenFlowers]

^^^
omg, that's hilarious. you must have some interesting cases. are you with a plaintiff or defense firm?

right now, I'm pulling a multitude of dockets from Pacer (when I'm not arguing about Stevie's lyrical superiority...lol) - yeah, as if you had to ask, I'm at a defense firm.

I do, however, work on cases where our client is the owner of all the private penitentiaries and we have to defend them when inmates sue. one I read Friday was over a guy that claimed he didn't get appropriate medical attention for "bumps on his penis" - ewww.

[Livia]

LOL - penis bumps.

I'll PM you more about our firm - it's not as cut and dry as plaintiff/defendant type stuff....but it's never boring, that's for sure!

I did an Appellant's Brief last week for the 5th Circuit, that's what I need to talk to Jason about. :cool:

[camchristo]

I'm a lawyer, currently practicing worker's comp defense. It is not as bad as my prior gig as a family law attorney, but I agree with Jason. Overall, the legal field sucks. I really think the people who like it the most have an ego they like to stroke by telling people they are lawyers and acting like big **** in court.

If I had it to do over again, and had the talent, I would definitely be a rock star and live the rock and roll life style. Aside from that, I think I would have enjoyed being a veterinarian or a doctor.

Anytime you need to vent, J, I'm here. I can vent plenty myself!

[JazmenFlowers]

I'm a lawyer, currently practicing worker's comp defense. It is not as bad as my prior gig as a family law attorney, but I agree with Jason. Overall, the legal field sucks. I really think the people who like it the most have an ego they like to stroke by telling people they are lawyers and acting like big **** in court.

If I had it to do over again, and had the talent, I would definitely be a rock star and live the rock and roll life style. Aside from that, I think I would have enjoyed being a veterinarian or a doctor.

Anytime you need to vent, J, I'm here. I can vent plenty myself!
god, I'm so glad we see eye to eye. you said exactly what I would've said. I always wonder if there's a course in law school that teaches one to be a total asshole, have no respect for anyone and treat non-attorneys like ****.

sometimes I want to say, "look dip****, I went to college just like you. I have an education. you're a lawyer, dude. not a doctor. you aren't saving lives. you can't throw a rock without hitting a lawyer. get over yourself."

[JazmenFlowers]

my latest livejournal entry is kind of appropriate here:

one of the attorneys I work with graduated law school about 1 year or so ago. he's my age...maybe a year or 2 older, but pretty much my age. anyway, he mumbles. I can't understand a ****ing thing he says. plus, he's one that when he's at lunch with people he'll call me on his cellphone and say "hey, anything going on that I need to know about?" or ramble about something else to make himself look more important. what gets me is that he knows that I know that it's a load of bull****. but he doesn't care. anyway, back to the mumbling. at first, I thought I could handle it, but now I want to grab his head in my hands and scream into his face "SPEAK CLEARLY GODDAMNIT - SLOW DOWN AND SPEAK!" and he constantly leaves notes in my chair that say "see me" - now, anyone that knows me knows that 2 things will set me off and get under my skin and those are "see me" and "are you caught up?" - and that's simply because the job I had all through high school and college, the woman I worked for said that to me at least 50 times a day. so, whenever I see "see me" on a sticky on my chair, my BP goes up. anyway, I feel stupid because I keep having to ask "what was that?" or "pardon?" or "huh?" - and then I find myself repeating everything he just said back to him just to be sure I understood his hyperspeed speech. it's really ridiculous. couple that with the fact that his grammar isn't all that great - in fact, it's not even good. then, I found out he was an English major. wtf. dude. I was an English major as well and I will be the first to admit I don't always speak or write properly, but you can be damn sure at work I do. he is just really annoying the hell out of me.

[Livia]

I hate it when anything is placed in my chair, or on top of my keyboard. I've got an IN-box on my desk. I know exactly what's in there. I glance at it EVERY time I walk back into my office. Placing something on my chair or keyboard, or waving it in my face while I'm working on something else will almost always guarantee that I'll do your work last. :p

Jazzy - do you have to transcribe dictation for the mumbler? One of the attorneys here has a problem with pronunciation - he totally butchers the English language. He'll say "pacifically" instead of "specifically." He also has a grammar problem..."If there is any questionS or concernS..." It's "are," not "is," Mr. Lawyer. And at the end of a tape, he'll say, "Okay, so yeah, go ahead and type that." What do you think I just did, dipsh*t?

[JazmenFlowers]

^^^
yeah, I know. it's like in big, bold letters "JCF INBOX" - hello :shrug:

nope, I don't have to transcribe. luckily, the secretaries here do that. I would die if I had to do that.

[Livia]

My other pet peeve is being micro-managed. I'll return from lunch and run into someone in the hallway, "Oh, I just sent you an email..." or "I just put something on your desk." I have eyes, I check my email regularly, there is no need to formally announce to me what I will no doubt discover on my own in a matter of seconds.

We have a newbie attorney here too, fresh out of law school. She's really sweet, but does that kind of thing all the time. She'll put something in my box, with a sticky-note on it: "Need a certified envelope and a fax cover sheet." While she can plainly see that I have headphones on, transcribing, she will still tell me verbally what the sticky-note says. On a bad day, I am SO tempted to say, "You interrupted me just so you could tell me what I am capable of reading myself, and be able to comprehend with my own, non-law-degreed brain? Thanks!" :rolleyes:

[JazmenFlowers]

^^^
oh my god, I know. or when I'm walking in from going out to lunch once in a blue moon, I'm in the hall and someone says "Oh, I think X was looking for you" - oh great, let me stop what I'm doing and run to their office to see if I can polish their shoes while they ask me where I was when they came looking for me during my lunch hour. :cool:

[Livia]

How does the mumbler expect a judge or jury to understand him in a court room? I'd hate to be the stenographer in that situation.

[SuzeQuze]

How does the mumbler expect a judge or jury to understand him in a court room? I'd hate to be the stenographer in that situation.

My roommate's a steno and it's hell. Plus she's practically deaf.

I give you a lot of credit for putting up with BS and being able to kiss ass. Haha. I supported executives for a year and I couldn't stand it. I didn't do very well at it because I hated the politics, the BS, and could not kiss ass. Plus they would never tell me what they needed/wanted and I was too shy to go and ask them, at that time. Now that wouldn't be an issue. But things like the CEO of a techie firm not being able to figure out how to use his email would piss me off. I love my job now though, phew.

[Betsy]

OK...I love this thread.

I used to be an English teacher and have now worked for a law firm for 11 years.

My observations:


All lawyers have egos....it is the ego that is their edge.

Some have a God complex, or see themselves as the center of the universe.

Female lawyers seem to be more vicious than male lawyers. Females are more vicious to other females.

Family Law is THEE worst area...divorce is NEVER over.

Clients can and will lie....repeatedly.

There are a lot of stupid people out there and they need representation.

Opposing Counsel likes to up the retainer...they write letters/faxes just so they can bill their client.

If you are a paralegal or legal assistant practice the "Three Evil Monkeys" when speaking or dealing with the Opposing Counsel...."hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil"....in other words, CYA because they want to nail your ass to the wall.

Never take what the courthouse clerks tell you as gospel.

When working at a law firm, always know that when the mud gets to slinging, innocent bystanders, such as myself, can and will get hit....numerous times....so duck...and try not to take it personally.

My own co-workers (lawyers) can and will take it out on me, if they are losing or have F'ked up.

Always keep a paper trail so they can't blame the mistake on me.

Female lawyers get hungry faster and more often than male ones. They will volunteer you to go pick up their lunch and can and will stiff you on the bill.

Always know that the baby lawyers will come to you and ask you to do their work for them. After you do the research they will take the credit and will bill for it.

Baby lawyers are lazy and whine. The best way to deal with them is to throw a bottle in their room and shut the door, hoping that they will lay down and take a nap, thereby leaving me alone.

Collections.....everyone gets their turn....we get on the phone and try to collect accounts....we affectionately call it "Dialing for Dollars." The firm's strategy is that if we don't collect, then nobody gets paid....so we all have to make those calls.

I now work for the the lawyer, who practices wills, estates and probate. (Behind his back we call him KING OF THE DEAD.)

One of my favorite cases was the guy who wanted to renew his Power of Attorney over his brother. (His brother died two years ago. So he bascially wanted a POA....for a dead body...)

One final note...Jazzy....I agree 100% with what you observe...and I loved reading your posts. Thank God I am not alone....

[JazmenFlowers]

^^^
I so could've written that post. get outta my head woman! :lol:

oh, and thanks. :D

How does the mumbler expect a judge or jury to understand him in a court room? I'd hate to be the stenographer in that situation.
exactly. I just read an email where he had to re-introduce himself to a judge and he thought it was because she forgot who he was, but I wanted to say "no ****tard, it's cause you can't speak properly so she didn't understand you and most likely, wiped you from her memory"

[Violet]

I'd hate to be the stenographer in that situation.

As a court reporter, I can tell you that mumblers are the WORST. I'd rather have someone spewing medical terminology at 300 wpm than a mumbler that I feel I have to sit on top of to hear. Yesterday I had a mumbling attorney appearing over the PHONE. With tons of construction noise going on outside. Phone depos SUCK in general, but having a mumbler involved is a bad transcript waiting to happen.

Carol

[Livia]

EXCELLENT post, Betsy! :xoxo:

It's not just the egos, but the idiosyncracies as well. I have to mentally switch gears, depending on which attorney I'm doing work for..."this one's the grammar idiot, this one always spells clients' names wrong (even though it's RIGHT there, in front of his face, on the file label)..." I always say it's like being a daycare worker, taking care of the brats. "This one wants his pb&j sandwich w/ the crusts cut off, this one wants you to slice it diagonally, this one wants his sandwich w/ very little jelly..." :cool:

And yes, the cya paper trail - VERY important. That's why I prefer email over verbal communication!

The females - oy vay. My experience: either they're cool, or they're vicious. There is no in-between. Just last week, I got into it w/ one of the females. I've been bugging her to complete paperwork so I can close out 30-something files that have been sitting in boxes since November. I quoted what she'd said in an email back in May. She literally hissed at me, "What email was that? I don't remember saying I'd do that, I thought I was still waiting for you to blah, blah, blah." Me: "Ummm, the email from May 4th, which I have up on my screen right now." The hisser: "Well then please forward it to me." Gladly, beeyotch. :D She'll also demand that I do something at 4:45 PM, because it's "due today." She hates when I call her on her bs. Respectively, of course. "Are you sure it's due today? Because according to their policy, you still have until the 15th." Translation: She wants it off her desk today, it's not "due" today. :rolleyes:

I nicknamed bad grammar guy Lucifer a long time ago. He's the biggest a-hole here, and everyone knows it. Which is good for me, cuz we'd butt heads a lot. At least everyone knew I wasn't the problem. I can afford to cop an attitude occasionally and not kiss-ass all the time, because everyone knows I do great work - I kick butt! :D Lucifer runs up his bills by writing a follow-up letter after every phone call he has, every piece of mail he reads, every time he farts while thinking of someone's case. One of his opposing counsel peeps asked him to stop doing that. :laugh: He's the only one who regularly works every weekend. As our firm continued to grow, I could no longer handle his workload, plus 3 others. He's got his own secretary now. Yay! I almost quit like 6 different times because of him.

Baby lawyers - I like that phrase. Whenever my baby lawyer turns in one timesheet, she'll be all dramatic about it and go, "Whew!!" when she puts it in my box. Like she just gave birth to triplets. And I'm thinking, "Don't 'whew' at me. I enter time for 4 attorneys every month and you wanna act like turning in one timesheet is a huge accomplishment?"

[strandinthewind]

You bitches should work for me - I shackle the employees to their desks!

[JazmenFlowers]

you enter time too! no way!

when do you have time to enter your own? we get until Wednesday of the following week to have that week's time in. so, like, today, all of last week's time is due and I've entered zilch. I always wait til 3 and shut everything down and get it in.

[Livia]

I used to feel shackled by Lucifer. He used to literally stalk me, and I am not exaggerating! God forbid I should ever have to empty my bladder or need food and water.

[Livia]

you enter time too! no way!

when do you have time to enter your own? we get until Wednesday of the following week to have that week's time in. so, like, today, all of last week's time is due and I've entered zilch. I always wait til 3 and shut everything down and get it in.

Since our attorneys travel so much, I usually always find time to enter time. We've got until the 5th or 7th or so of each month to enter everyone's time - no weekly deadlines.

[strandinthewind]

I used to feel shackled by Lucifer. He used to literally stalk me, and I am not exaggerating! God forbid I should ever have to empty my bladder or need food and water.

Could you imagine if we worked together :eek: Lunches would be three hours long and we'd get oof at 3:00 to prepare for whatever live music we were going to that night :laugh:

Bruce would be our receptionist and we'd make him wear a pill box hat everyday!

[Livia]

Could you imagine if we worked together :eek: Lunches would be three hours long and we'd get oof at 3:00 to prepare for whatever live music we were going to that night :laugh:

Bruce would be our receptionist and we'd make him wear a pill box hat everyday!

:lol: :thumbsup:

[JazmenFlowers]

Since our attorneys travel so much, I usually always find time to enter time. We've got until the 5th or 7th or so of each month to enter everyone's time - no weekly deadlines.
dear god, I wish mine traveled at all. :rolleyes:

[Livia]

When working at a law firm, always know that when the mud gets to slinging, innocent bystanders, such as myself, can and will get hit....numerous times....so duck...and try not to take it personally.

I love it when the attorneys here fight amongst themselves. Lucifer is almost always involved. It's highly entertaining!

[Betsy]

Oh, man....this thread is fun...

Timeslips---gotta love 'em. I used to enter them for attorneys whose handwriting varied from great to illegible engraving. Since I used to be an English teacher, I made the STAHOOPID comment that I could read anyone's handwriting...so I got the timeslips job.

I convinced the head boss to move us to Quickbooks Pro (network version) so that the attorneys could enter THEIR OWN TIME (and it has a little stop-watch - clock built in to time project duration). This convinced him...pissed the lawyers off because - quote - "they were doing clerical work" - God forbid....clerical work?????

One baby lawyer drove me NUTS!! She was a pampered female in her 20's who thought her **** didn't stink. She would call her husband (who worked construction) at 4:30 to see if he had supper ready yet. Hubby did all the cooking and cleaning and bought the groceries. The joke around the office, was that her husband would call to see if he could borrow the "balls" for the weekend.

At the office, she was deathly afraid of the phone. I had to make all her calls for her - get the people on the line and then transfer the call to her. I hated it!

One day she and I got into it and she started to CRY....she said that I was making fun of her like the girls in the dorm used to. (Huh?) They made her call for pizza one night and she didn't know how.....Mom always did it for her. (Geez, Leweez...!)

She was a (pretend) macho woman who took pride in the fact that she drove a truck to work. She teased another baby lawyer because in high school he lettered in * band * and not athletics.... and she had a volleyball scholarship. Upon further examination...her graduating class had 30some classmates....

Like I said, I love this thread, because it's my life...in the trenches...and I love reading about the view from your trench...

[Betsy]

I love it when the attorneys here fight amongst themselves. Lucifer is almost always involved. It's highly entertaining!

When ours fight, there is a lot of slamming of doors...for theatrical effect.

When they sabotage...now THAT'S good entertainment.

We have learned to back up computer files a couple times a day....

[JazmenFlowers]

damn Betsy - you probably forced ole girl to go to therapy. she needs it though. :laugh:

[Betsy]

Some of the baby lawyers were so lazy, they would NOT proofread anything.

I thought that this rule only applied to baby lawyers....not so.

One guy (lawyer) was hired ( in 2003) in his 40's WITH experience ..... and .... get this .... HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TYPE! That question just never came up in the interview process.

He was the bankruptcy/personal injury attorney. He had to have two assistants....one to transcribe and one to be his personal assistant. Well....somehow, somewhere, someone dropped the ball. SOL date was transcribed as "**** out of luck" date instead of statute of limitations....on a motion that was filed with the court. .... and the "Old Testament Judge" was not amused....

God, I had a good laugh over THAT one.

[Livia]

Hee-hee! SOL!

How f*ckin' babied must one be to not know how to use a telephone? What a freak!

When Lucifer moved his office downstairs and Baby Lawyer moved in, one of the senior partners told her that he'd hoped the Tourette's Syndrome vibe left over from Lucifer wouldn't affect her. Lucifer is famous for screaming and cussing at opposing counsel. His new office is right next to the reception area. We've had to close his door for him so guests don't overhear his potty-mouth rants.

About 2 months ago, Lucifer and one of the senior partners got into it right across the hall from me. And I have NEVER seen this sr. partner get so angry in the 8 years I've worked here. He was slammed, trying to meet a deadline. Lucifer, oblivious to everyone but himself, as usual, wanted sr. partner to read something, and get his opinion. Sr. partner's body language was so obvious, "Leave me alone, can't you see I'm busy?" Lucifer wouldn't back down, sr. partner gave in, read the letter, they started discussing it, and then I kinda tuned them out. Until sr. partner blew a gasket and started screaming, "How DARE you come into my office, interrupt me, ask for my opinion, and then disagree with me?" And then he just started repeating, "Get the F*CK out of my office!" It was a glorious day for me! And it's kept Lucifer from wandering up here ever since. :p

[JazmenFlowers]

He was the bankruptcy/personal injury attorney. He had to have two assistants....one to transcribe and one to be his personal assistant. Well....somehow, somewhere, someone dropped the ball. SOL date was transcribed as "**** out of luck" date instead of statute of limitations....on a motion that was filed with the court. .... and the "Old Testament Judge" was not amused....
I swear I've seen this letter. somewhere...it has made rounds on the internet. or at least one similar to that.

well...get this. I just had a 1 hour meeting with mumbler man all over responding to discovery requests. yep, all 15 of them. after an hour of his mumbling and BS, he decided to answer the first one and object to the rest. :rolleyes: :mad:

[camchristo]

^ok, this **** is too funny! For the record, I do not act like that. I am nice to my secretary and paralegal because they make my life easier. The only time I get annoyed is if I have to give my secretary a rush job and I get the typical *sigh* from her. Mind you, I rarely have rushes. And she only works for two of us, neither of whom are demanding.

But what really makes me laugh is that the things you guys describe are so typical of attorneys. They really do think they are the ****. And most have huge egos. I hate telling people I'm a lawyer because most people act like it's all special and make a big deal. It's not a big deal. Pretty much anyone could do it. This is also why I've concluded that I don't really like being a lawyer. I really don't like conflict. And I HATE going to court. Don't want to do trial work. That is why I'm fairly happy doing worker's comp defense. Our board is more like an administrative thing than a courtroom setting.

carry on.

[JazmenFlowers]

^^^
and this? is why I love you bb~

[JazmenFlowers]

another rant...I've spent ALL DAY searching for terms in deposition transcripts. I hate doing depo searches. no matter how easy it seems or organized you are, it always ends up getting confusing and tedious. 26 down, 34 to go. woot. :rolleyes:

[JazmenFlowers]

oh, and I meant to ask y'all this too. do you have to bill every single damn thing? like, we have to put in a billing number before we print, before we copy, before we make a phone call, etc. it gets SO annoying.

[Betsy]

oh, and I meant to ask y'all this too. do you have to bill every single damn thing? like, we have to put in a billing number before we print, before we copy, before we make a phone call, etc. it gets SO annoying.

Not only the printer but the copy machine is auditroned, as is the fax machine and the postage meter. You gotta have your timeslips before noon and then again by five because the senior partner has access to the time reports on the network.

I like to watch the lawyers in the morning...

One takes his morning dump WITH the newspaper (crossword puzzle)..
Another eats her oatmeal and checks Ebay auctions...
Another is on match.com to see who's available or winking or whatever they do at/to her..
Another usually comes from court and then strips her pantyhose off in front of us and runs around barefooted..
Another holds her hand up (don't talk to me gesture) as she enters with her mega coffee from Starbucks...
I have to admit....most of the men are on time and get here before work, but the female attorneys...they are the barracudas on a feeding frenzy, so don't get in their way..

[Livia]

LOL!

Typical daily behavior for some of the odd ones:

Managing partner (I'm not his asst., but this is damn funny) - first one here - works for awhile and then goes jogging - may or may not change clothes immediately. He is covered in hair, like the missing link. There is a shower in the men's room - right across from his office. He will close his office door to change, sometimes leaving his skid-marked tighty whities in plain view on the floor for all to see. He'll work for awhile, then leave to go shopping for 3 bags of fruit. Then he'll stink up the office by re-heating last night's salmon leftovers in the microwave. Depending on which bug is up his ass that day, he will pace up and down the halls, ranting about how this and that needs to be done differently so the firm can save money.

Sr. partner #1 - Hates rush hour traffic, so he doesn't arrive until 9:30 or 10. Plays scrabble online and surfs the internet. Goes to lunch at 11:30 - more online playing - gives me work around 3:30 or 4 - and then he leaves around 4:30.

Sr. partner #2 - Usually here around 9 AM. Plays solitaire on his laptop all day while he's on the phone. Goes to lunch with Sr. partner #1. More solitaire and phone calls. Starts giving me work around 4 PM. His deadline for me to have his Brief done last week was noon on Friday. So he could go play golf. I had it done at 11:45 AM. :D

Lucifer - arrives around 9:30 or 10 AM. Walks around and socializes (annoys) everyone. Goes to lunch. Spends most of the afternoon on the phone or dictating letters and crap no one wants to receive or read.

Jr. Partner - arrives early - also a mid-day jogger. Showers and preens for over an hour. Simultaneously plays 2 hands of Texas Hold 'Em online - shops for Longhorn and Disney crap on ebay - dictates and talks on the phone in-between. He works very odd hours (comes in at 3 AM and weekends) and surprises his secretary with tons of tapes to transcribe when she arrives the next day. I'm the only one in the office who knows he just got his nipple pierced. He's super cool, and a great dad. He works those odd hours so he can spend time w/ his family.

[strandinthewind]

. . . Then he'll stink up the office by re-heating last night's salmon leftovers in the microwave. . . . .

I would fukcing HURL

[camchristo]

oh, and I meant to ask y'all this too. do you have to bill every single damn thing? like, we have to put in a billing number before we print, before we copy, before we make a phone call, etc. it gets SO annoying.

Yes, we have to bill everything. I myself must bill 2,150 hours per year. Or 8.6 hours per day. It sucks ass.


And I wonder if the paralegals, secretaries here laugh at the attorney's routines. About me they would say "reads some crazy message board all day". :lol:

[Livia]

Strandie - I was gonna ask if you've had any experience w/ the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in NOLA. That's where we just filed our Appellant's Brief. Man, do they want some weird **** (pdf version on a floppy disk). We've got 8 days or so to file the Record Excerpts (another thing I've personally never had to do for a court of appeals). But now it looks like the case may settle, so we won't have to copy, spiral-bind and send that crap.

[strandinthewind]

Strandie - I was gonna ask if you've had any experience w/ the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in NOLA. That's where we just filed our Appellant's Brief. Man, do they want some weird **** (pdf version on a floppy disk). We've got 8 days or so to file the Record Excerpts (another thing I've personally never had to do for a court of appeals). But now it looks like the case may settle, so we won't have to copy, spiral-bind and send that crap.

I have never argued there or submitted a brief. But, there are rather notorious for being persnickety. Good luck!

Also, I usually am beyond nice and charming to the case clerk assigned to my case and I always read the local rules prior to calling them because the clerks in other circuits seemingly HATE to have to tell people what they should have read - - can't say I blame them!

[Livia]

I always look up the local rules online. If something's really strange, I'll call to confirm that I understand what they want. Especially since whatever they have posted online may not "really" be up to date and correct.

[strandinthewind]

I always look up the local rules online. If something's really strange, I'll call to confirm that I understand what they want. Especially since whatever they have posted online may not "really" be up to date and correct.

I know - esp. in NOLA as there likely is still Katrina related stuff that may delay the posting of rule changes.

[Violet]

another rant...I've spent ALL DAY searching for terms in deposition transcripts. I hate doing depo searches. no matter how easy it seems or organized you are, it always ends up getting confusing and tedious. 26 down, 34 to go. woot. :rolleyes:


Jazz...
Don't you get a word index from your court reporter? If not, start requesting it. We provide it free with every transcript.

Carol

[JazmenFlowers]

Jazz...
Don't you get a word index from your court reporter? If not, start requesting it. We provide it free with every transcript.

Carol
depends on what court reporting service we use. we use Henjum Goucher a lot (do you know them?) and we always get awesome transcripts with them, but some of these mom and pop services don't give us word indexes.

[Violet]

depends on what court reporting service we use. we use Henjum Goucher a lot (do you know them?) and we always get awesome transcripts with them, but some of these mom and pop services don't give us word indexes.

I've heard of them. They're pretty big. I actually work for a mom and pop firm. We have about 10 to 12 reporters. The only thing we DON'T provide is real time. If they don't provide a word index, what about an ASCII disk? Or even an email of the transcript. I'd find it hard to believe that they can't provide that. Maybe they don't WANT to, but very few reporters aren't computerized.

Carol

[JazmenFlowers]

I've heard of them. They're pretty big. I actually work for a mom and pop firm. We have about 10 to 12 reporters. The only thing we DON'T provide is real time. If they don't provide a word index, what about an ASCII disk? Or even an email of the transcript. I'd find it hard to believe that they can't provide that. Maybe they don't WANT to, but very few reporters aren't computerized.

Carol
you're probably right.

[Livia]

I know - esp. in NOLA as there likely is still Katrina related stuff that may delay the posting of rule changes.

And many of the district courts in these podunk Texas towns barely have a website at all. I have to call them for everything, but they're usually pretty cool about it.

I'm working on discovery now for a school district superintendent who "allegedly" showed up drunk at a school function. :thumbsup:

[Standback383]

I'm a paralegal :D

[JazmenFlowers]

I'm a paralegal :D
bless your heart. welcome to the club. got any funny experiences or anecdotes?

btw, I'm having a blonde moment...when preparing exhibits for trial do you put an exhibit sticker on the original and then copy or copy and then put an original exhibit sticker on each copy? :shrug:

I can't remember.

[Livia]

We usually put the sticker on the set we're going to copy first, and then make copies.

Sometimes we use tabs for the appendix, or exhibit list, instead of stickers.

[JazmenFlowers]

We usually put the sticker on the set we're going to copy first, and then make copies.
ok, good. you've confirmed what my gut was telling me, but I started doubting myself. thanks.

[Betsy]

Classic....

A female baby lawyer just got her ass chewed. She asked me for a Contempt Citation...I told her to do a search on the computer...so she found one in another case and copied it.

(Dumb bitch didn't change the names in the caption - Jefferson County District Court - or the case number ....)

Now, she's pissed at me. Why do I have to do all the thinking?? I swear, these people are sooooo lazy....or else stahooopid. She says I should have reminded her.

[JazmenFlowers]

Classic....

A female baby lawyer just got her ass chewed. She asked me for a Contempt Citation...I told her to do a search on the computer...so she found one in another case and copied it.

(Dumb bitch didn't change the names in the caption - Jefferson County District Court - or the case number ....)

Now, she's pissed at me. Why do I have to do all the thinking?? I swear, these people are sooooo lazy....or else stahooopid. She says I should have reminded her.
didn't you know? it's never their fault.

you should always know what their thinking, what they might do and what they should do. after all, they have the law degree. :lol:

[Betsy]

Yeah, well that law degree did nothing for her ugly feet. She's running around here with no shoes or socks on. I swear, she has the ugliest feet this side of the Mississippi...

Dr. Scholls would love to get a crack at these bunions....

[Betsy]

Let's see....what other job would let you run around the workplace without shoes and socks....

Lifeguard...

Anybody else got an answer?

[JazmenFlowers]

Yeah, well that law degree did nothing for her ugly feet. She's running around here with no shoes or socks on. I swear, she has the ugliest feet this side of the Mississippi...

Dr. Scholls would love to get a crack at these bunions....
lol. it is beyond me why they do that. would they do that in any other professional place? nope.

what state are you in?

[Betsy]

^^^^

Rocky Mountain High......Colorado!

(Where John Denver is like Elvis....and spotted on every street corner. He really didn't die....)

[Livia]

:lol: :lol:

Yes, it's part of your job to:

a. be a mind-reader;
b. not make any mistakes; and
c. correct all of their mistakes, without them realizing it, because if you were to point out their mistakes, you would bruise their precious egos, and they would retaliate by giving you something heinous to type at 5 PM.

[Livia]

Let's see....what other job would let you run around the workplace without shoes and socks....

Lifeguard...

Anybody else got an answer?

Pole-dancer?

[Betsy]

Pole-dancer?

That answer cracked me up....pole dancer with those ugly feet?....no one would focus on the dancing part....

[Betsy]

I hate when I answer the telephone, and there is a lawyer on the other side.

I politely say: "May I ask who is calling?"

And instead of giving me the name...I get the egotiscial response...

"I am a lawyer."

(Like the word lawyer is synonymus with God, All Mightly, Supreme Being, Magnificient, His/Her Majesty,....etc. etc.)

Then I have to ask AGAIN for the name....

I want to answer back (just to throw him/her off).

"Oh really? I am a Ledgie."

Just to see what sort of response I'd get.

[JazmenFlowers]

^^^
that's funny.

I always try to work in that I was Chief Deputy Circuit Clerk for years just so they know I'm not stupid and used to be the person you begged for a copy of a docket or to stay after 5 to file something, etc.

[Livia]

The newbie attorneys HATE IT when I point out a statute or a procedure they've overlooked. Never mind that I'm saving their ass.

I love it when one of the sr. partners here gets into arguments with clients. Especially the ones who have watched too many law firm TV shows, and think they know the law, and they always want to sue someone. Sr. partner will start yelling at them, "I'M the attorney, listen to ME!"

[Betsy]

We've got an older attorney here who mainly represents senior citizens...(aka blue-haired ladies).

I had a "blue-haired" call the other day and ask me if Fred specializes in "pro bono".

I asked him and he howled with laughter....

(The old ladies always want to chew him down on the bill...or flirt with him to get him to reduce the bill! Believe me, some of these old gals are looking for some action and haven't had any in a LONG time...)

[JWS]

Let's see....what other job would let you run around the workplace without shoes and socks....

Lifeguard...

Anybody else got an answer?

Yes...and CPA. Also TV and film producers/writers.

[JazmenFlowers]

does anyone know where I can read up on the statute of limitations and statute of repose for each state?

[Betsy]

^^^

We use Lexis-Nexis and here is the link:

http://198.187.128.12/colorado/lpext.dll?f=templates&fn=fs-main.htm&2.0

As for other states, I think Lexis has them, you might have to maneuver your way around a bit to find them. Hope this helps.

[Betsy]

It's Friday, which means everybody and his brother is calling -- usually in anticipation of the weekend and the upcoming DUI ---

This one floored me. Seventy-eight year old woman ... her eighty year-old husband got a DUI ... last night. Neither one of them can hear to talk on the phone. Gleening information has been a bitch...

It's Friday....either it's quiet or it's crazy.

What's your Friday like?

[JazmenFlowers]

when I tell people Fridays are the worst for me, I get strange looks, but no one understands unless you are in it.

every attorney has waited til the last minute to do everything on top of the fact that they are trying to leave the office early.

so far, today hasn't been that bad and it's fairly quiet for now. wait until 3:30.

[amber]

So then, there are lots of times I could have said something here in this thread. But - at first I told Paula about the big problem with my office. She said it wasn't that serious. But then I told some friends, and some relatives, who were all dumbfounded and suggest I find a new job, now!
But it's all mellowed out somewhat. Or I've gotten used to it and lowered my expectations.
My office is very small. A couple of the people there, nice otherwise, won't return my greeting when I say "good morning!" directly to them. Like, they literally don't answer, though it is clear I am talking to them.

A couple other different ones(people) ask everyone (um, 4 other people) if they want lunch, but then don't ask me. Usually people all eat lunch together. All five of them. But these couple people don't even give an obligatory "what do you think about lunch, Amber?" or "I'm getting burritos, do you want something?"
Weird. But the non good morning people are very good about the lunch, they always ask me, though I don't usually get lunch with them (sometimes). And one of the non lunch guys always wish me a good morning if he sees me.
So, what does that mean? That the "good morning!" gene is incompatible withe the "do you want some of our lunch?" gene? C'mon! :rolleyes:


There is one guy who doesn't do either, and he is an ass. He's the one who gives me random lectures about things like answering the phone, when he doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. He is the bully, pushy, assy lawyer. He likes to talk to people as if they were 10, about things they have already been doing for 10 years. He also likes to raise his voice about them in the office, while intimating that you are "unprofessional".

Look, man, you are really mad at me about something stupid and yelling at me in the office - who's really unprofessional here?
Then this one time recently the same guy threw a big baby fit with yelling and stuff in the office. Like he was 5. With stomping and stuff.
So, basically, I just wrote him off as a baby/bully. He has that jock guy voice from highschool, too. In fact, he IS that lame jock guy from highschool, but now he's a lawyer. Faaaantastic. He's also my age. But so the last time he was "yelling" at me about something I was smiling. Cause he was so ridiculous. Then he said "you think this is funny? This isn't funny!" so I had to play nice. There's no point in arguing with an illogical bully. And it's really too bad that he isn't smarter, and doesn't know what is going on as much as he thinks he does, or hardly at all. It's sad because he acts like he does. I just figure he is the type of guy who likes to yell at people, ie, a BULLY. He'll find any reason. Amend that, he'll find any reason for someone he thinks is beneath him. He's probably frustrated that he isn't in a big firm where he can yell at subordinates regularly. :rolleyes:
Then, later, everyone else is all "I don't know what is up Chris's butt!(that's his name)" to me.
Nice. In that, the whole office knows he is just a big baby. :woohoo:
It's kind of sad, cause he is a scorpio, and I usually like them. 2 others in the place are scorpios, too, but one is a nice "non good morning" one, and the other is a "good morning, but I'll ask everyone but you if they want lunch" one.
Whatever, you know?
These aren't as bad of problems as Jaz, or someone, in that I'm not that overloaded with work. But it is bad in that I go into the office with a normal professional attitude and way of treating people that is regular, but that doesn't apply here. So I have to navigate these stupid emotional waters, that mean nothing to me. As in, what kind of asshole wouldn't say "good morning!" to their coworker when that worker said it first, and also, what kind of asshole would ask everyone in your 6 person office what they wanted for lunch except you. It would be different if it was a huge office, but among only 6 people, to ask everyone but one, that seems like a weird slight. And I'm not the most politest person ever, so if even I know these basic polite work etiquette rules, shouldn't they?
Serious playground mentality. Among people who are old enough to know better.
On the upside, I can find anyone's **** that they are ever looking for. Also strange - if you have a whole FILE, why do you have to just set it on top of the filing cabinet instead of opening that one drawer and placing it in its alphabetical place? It's not hard, it's the alphabet, clearly labeled. And I know for a fact that these people have extra time on their hands. They spend half their workday chatting with each other. About lunch, a lot. :confused::shrug:

So, what, you can't open the drawer with the corresponding alphabetical letter and replace the file? You act like you're so smart, and you have tons of time to chat, but you can't take four seconds to open a drawer? I guess ordering fried chicken for everyone but me has worn you out. Or, maybe complaining for a million years about something the boss asked you to do wears you out. So much so that you can't comprehend the workings of the drawer, or the concept of an alphabet.
Yo, fine. It makes me have a job. But you're still lame.:laugh:
The worst part is, in this office, it could be so much more efficient, but no one can take this step. And I could, but I can't. I barely even have a computer. But I have lots of ways they could overhall their **** to make it better. But they are all just stuck in their stupid rut. And if they can't ask me about lunch, or answer my good morning, they certainly can't take on my efficient suggestions. And when I have presented my efficient suggestions, they have all said "yeah, we know, but the boss blah blah" This is the boss who is rarely there, and who is lame, and who everyone makes fun of.
The problem is, they are all fixed signs, scorpios and aquariuses, and they'd rather sit on their heels then work to change anything.
Before any of you get alarmed for my livelihood, don't worry, I don't present too many suggestions in a pushy way. I do, but then when they explain, I kind of back off. So far. I mean, they don't even invite me to lunch, I'm not equipped to change their computer/record keeping system. No, I am equipped, but as you may have noticed, they aren't as receptive as one would hope for. It could cut into their lunch deciding time. :rolleyes::laugh:
Imagine me having efficient ideas for a whole office. And yet, I am not a slacker compared to them. And yet, they will clearly not do what I say, or suggest. They can't even invite me for lunch, or return my cheery "good morning!":mad:
Man, if I ran that office, they would have even more time to talk about lunch, or chat with each other!!! I tell you what!!

Remember, all you seasoned legal professionals, this is my first legal job. :o I'm craving more responsibility, I want to constantly have the problem of too many deadlines and too much work/responsibility.

Whatev, I'm just trying to get good Bruce tickets....

[JazmenFlowers]

^^^
the lunch thing? yep, I've seen and heard that happen a lot.

as for the tantrums, etc. by attorneys...that's a law office for you. there is no other profession like working in a law firm.

[Livia]

What's your Friday like?

I was in Tulsa, attending another Alice in Chains acoustic show - at Cain's Ballroom. :thumbsup:

Welcome to the trenches, Amber! :wavey:

[Betsy]

... A couple of the people there, nice otherwise, won't return my greeting when I say "good morning!" directly to them. Like, they literally don't answer, though it is clear I am talking to them.

That's called "unconscious" or "hungover." Don't take it personally....it's just that THEY don't want to be there...so if they don't talk, they are invisible. (Remember the childhood game...of peek-a-boo?) Only thing is...we see them!

... A couple other different ones(people) ask everyone (um, 4 other people) if they want lunch, but then don't ask me.

I had the same thing happen to me...so I started bringing in donuts, home-baked choc. chip cookies and chips and salsa to share. Believe me...they will notice you and you might even get a "Thanks" or an "Atta girl!" And the assholes? I make sure that the goodies aren't out when they are. Isn't that petty?

... He's the one who gives me random lectures about things like answering the phone, when he doesn't know what the hell he is talking about.

GUTLESS WONDER found a job at your office?

... Then he said "you think this is funny? This isn't funny!" so I had to play nice.

Eventually you develop the poker face and are laughing your guts out on in the inside.

... Then, later, everyone else is all "I don't know what is up Chris's butt.

I was laughing outloud at this point. I thought our office was the only one, where a virus of some sort likes to craw up crevices...and burrow in."

These aren't as bad of problems as Jaz, or someone, in that I'm not that overloaded with work.

Yeah, I have to confess that they don't tax me too much...I worry about Jazzy and all the "research librarian" stuff he has to do. It sounds like they think he's part blood hound....they give him the scent and he's suppose to out perform Lassie or RinTinTin.

I use the old files as educational tools. If I am not real sure about the procedure, I will look up an archived file and study it so that I have some sort of clue as to the steps. You have to have access (computer) to the old files, and luckily I do.

... what kind of asshole wouldn't say "good morning!" to their coworker when that worker said it first, and also, what kind of asshole would ask everyone in your 6 person office what they wanted for lunch except you.

What sort of asshole would do that? I don't know, but every office has that same asshole...as did high school and grade school classes.

On the upside, I can find anyone's **** that they are ever looking for.

Insert here -- Roseanne Barr's joke...about how "men can never find anything...so they ask the woman, like the uterus is a tracking device."

Also strange - if you have a whole FILE, why do you have to just set it on top of the filing cabinet instead of opening that one drawer and placing it in its alphabetical place?

If the lawyer is billing $250 an hour, then he can't be licking stamps or sealing envlopes and charging the client for his time. Can you imagine how long it would take him/her to put that file away?? OK, so I am being facetious...


... The worst part is, in this office, it could be so much more efficient, but no one can take this step. ... And when I have presented my efficient suggestions, they have all said "yeah, we know, but the boss blah blah" This is the boss who is rarely there, and who is lame, and who everyone makes fun of.

The real "BOSS" in the office is the staus quo. No one wants to change to a new idea, because they don't want to learn a new system.

It's the female employees who do the "dog-eat-dog" thing. It is duck-and-cover. Some of these old gals can really sabotage you.

Right now we got Catherine the Great - Czarina of Russia. (Where the hell is Rasputin when you need him???)

Catherine fakes being sick....and we drones know she isn't sick. She just ain't wearing any make-up & looks pale. On Friday afternoon at 4:30 she takes a 1/2 hour bathroom break....but she ain't sick....she's in ther puttin' on her make-up. At 5 o'clock, she's headed to the bar and happy hour.

Whatev, I'm just trying to get good Bruce tickets....



FYI My comments are the RED ones....and Amber's are in black. (OK, so I ain't smart enough to use the multiple quote thing... So hire me a Ledge tutor, ok?)

I enjoyed your post Amber....you should have posted sooner. (And good luck on the Bruce Tix.)

[Standback383]

I'm in court pretty much every day, David.
My area of practice is not a nice one (child abuse) and it gets very stressful at times but certainly there's never a dull moment when you're cross examining people and trying to catch them out!
Also, as you know, I also do my journalism too, so, yeah, I'm pretty busy.


Good lord...my boss handles juvenile dependency appeals (he's both minor's counsel and the parents' counsel (he alternates))...pick up one of those transcripts and it will be enough to turn your stomach -- some of the cases are horrific. While most cases seem to have been handled properly, there are many cases in which HHSA appears to have REALLY overstepped its bounds......

[Standback383]

^^^

as for the tantrums, etc. by attorneys...that's a law office for you. there is no other profession like working in a law firm.

Isn't that the truth. I won't go into detail on this one.......

[Standback383]

^^^

We use Lexis-Nexis and here is the link:

http://198.187.128.12/colorado/lpext.dll?f=templates&fn=fs-main.htm&2.0

As for other states, I think Lexis has them, you might have to maneuver your way around a bit to find them. Hope this helps.

Lexis is much better than Westlaw (IMO)--it's better organized.

[Standback383]

:lol: :lol:

Yes, it's part of your job to:

a. be a mind-reader;
b. not make any mistakes; and
c. correct all of their mistakes, without them realizing it, because if you were to point out their mistakes, you would bruise their precious egos, and they would retaliate by giving you something heinous to type at 5 PM.

Don't you just LOOOVE it when they give you stuff to do at the last minute? I can't tell you how many times I've had to e-file documents with the district court at 4:59.....thankfully they've improved the ECF system.

[Betsy]

^^^

Welcome to the Club Standback383!!

[Livia]

Don't you just LOOOVE it when they give you stuff to do at the last minute? I can't tell you how many times I've had to e-file documents with the district court at 4:59.....thankfully they've improved the ECF system.

Yeah, most ECF courts allow you to file as late as midnight, to be timely.

My beef right now is w/ the other 2 legal assistants. I keep a pull-file calendar for 2 of my attorneys, which means I pull whatever files they want on a particular day, AND I re-calendar and refile whatever they've returned to me. When I left work last Thursday afternoon, I was completely caught up, and sent an email reminding the other 2 to do it while I was out on Friday. Today, there was a HUGE stack of files to be put away - mixed in with the huge stack of files were loose papers and internal billing paperwork that should never have been placed in that box in the first place - they didn't check one of the attorney's "out" boxes on his desk, so some things that should have been mailed last Thu PM, or Friday at the latest, were still on his desk. Nothing urgent, but still! Grrrr...I was just venting to someone else about the 2 slackers and decided that rather than say something now, I'll wait until the next time I take vacation. And I'll make it crystal clear then, via e-mail and cc all my attorneys, exactly what needs to be done on a daily basis while I'm gone.

[Betsy]

Does anybody get as many paper cuts as I do?

(This one's a bleeder.)

[Livia]

Just got one a few minutes ago! Manila folder paper cuts are the worst! Mine's not a bleeder, 'tis merely a flesh wound.

Neosporin gets used a lot around here!

[Betsy]

^^^

Oh God, yes! File folder cuts are MUCH worse...wide and deep.

As for the filing -- that would royally tick me off. I hate dumping grounds (aka burial grounds) because ... a funeral soon follows.... or us wishing we were dead.

[amber]

FYI My comments are the RED ones....and Amber's are in black. (OK, so I ain't smart enough to use the multiple quote thing... So hire me a Ledge tutor, ok?)

I enjoyed your post Amber....you should have posted sooner. (And good luck on the Bruce Tix.)

Thanks. :)
Two things - They aren't unconscious or hungover, as they are perfectly capable of greeting each other, and talking to each other - I just apparently have the invisibility cloak.
Also - The lawyers are personal injury, so we charge by % of recovery. :p

I've basically gotten used to it, except I told guy in charge of me that if stupid lawyer has anything to yell about in the future, he should take it up with him.
Also, this morning, no good morning again.

[JazmenFlowers]

omg, I hate Trial Director.

[Betsy]

omg, I hate Trial Director.

Is that a new video game for lawyers?

[JazmenFlowers]

Is that a new video game for lawyers?
ha! I wish. maybe it would keep them busy for a while.

it's basically a fancy projector that they can take and show off how high tech we are. problem is, for all that to look spiffy and snazzy I have to spend the time getting the documents into the program, then push out portions of depo text, highlight this, underline that, redact this portion, put these 2 pages together, etc. it's just miserable. I hate it.

[Betsy]

ha! I wish. maybe it would keep them busy for a while.

it's basically a fancy projector that they can take and show off how high tech we are. problem is, for all that to look spiffy and snazzy I have to spend the time getting the documents into the program, then push out portions of depo text, highlight this, underline that, redact this portion, put these 2 pages together, etc. it's just miserable. I hate it.

Just pretend it's a boring MySpace page...

[skcin]

^^^
the lunch thing? yep, I've seen and heard that happen a lot.

as for the tantrums, etc. by attorneys...that's a law office for you. there is no other profession like working in a law firm.


Sure there is - working in a hospital or medical office. :D Except the tantrums there are usually thrown by doctors or crotchety nurses. I should start a medical profession thread....

[JazmenFlowers]

Sure there is - working in a hospital or medical office. :D Except the tantrums there are usually thrown by doctors or crotchety nurses. I should start a medical profession thread....
yes! a friend of mine and I were discussing this not long ago. the comparison between attorneys and paralegals vs. doctors and nurses is probably very similar.

[skcin]

yes! a friend of mine and I were discussing this not long ago. the comparison between attorneys and paralegals vs. doctors and nurses is probably very similar.

Well, it has gotten better over time. Way back in the day nurses were there to assist doctors & that's about it - old textbooks actually instructed a nurse to give up her chair if a doctor enters a room & might want to sit down. :shocked:

I'm lucky because at my office, nobody's really on a power trip, so nobody feels the need to belittle anyone. But I've heard tales - charts being thrown at people, getting yelled at in front of patients, etc.

[JazmenFlowers]

charts being thrown at people, getting yelled at in front of patients, etc.
this would happen once.

as I always say, "they can repossess all my ****...nothing is worth being disrespected"

[Livia]

One of my guys just put this in a letter:

"I’ve reached that age at which one should always makes notes of conversations, because my retention of such details lags considerably behind my sustained ability to generate them."

That's his fancy way of admitting he had a senior moment. :rolleyes:

[skcin]

So then, there are lots of times I could have said something here in this thread. But - at first I told Paula about the big problem with my office. She said it wasn't that serious. But then I told some friends, and some relatives, who were all dumbfounded and suggest I find a new job, now!
But it's all mellowed out somewhat. Or I've gotten used to it and lowered my expectations.
My office is very small. A couple of the people there, nice otherwise, won't return my greeting when I say "good morning!" directly to them. Like, they literally don't answer, though it is clear I am talking to them.

A couple other different ones(people) ask everyone (um, 4 other people) if they want lunch, but then don't ask me. Usually people all eat lunch together. All five of them. But these couple people don't even give an obligatory "what do you think about lunch, Amber?" or "I'm getting burritos, do you want something?"
Weird. But the non good morning people are very good about the lunch, they always ask me, though I don't usually get lunch with them (sometimes). And one of the non lunch guys always wish me a good morning if he sees me.
So, what does that mean? That the "good morning!" gene is incompatible withe the "do you want some of our lunch?" gene? C'mon! :rolleyes:


There is one guy who doesn't do either, and he is an ass. He's the one who gives me random lectures about things like answering the phone, when he doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. He is the bully, pushy, assy lawyer. He likes to talk to people as if they were 10, about things they have already been doing for 10 years. He also likes to raise his voice about them in the office, while intimating that you are "unprofessional".

Look, man, you are really mad at me about something stupid and yelling at me in the office - who's really unprofessional here?
Then this one time recently the same guy threw a big baby fit with yelling and stuff in the office. Like he was 5. With stomping and stuff.
So, basically, I just wrote him off as a baby/bully. He has that jock guy voice from highschool, too. In fact, he IS that lame jock guy from highschool, but now he's a lawyer. Faaaantastic. He's also my age. But so the last time he was "yelling" at me about something I was smiling. Cause he was so ridiculous. Then he said "you think this is funny? This isn't funny!" so I had to play nice. There's no point in arguing with an illogical bully. And it's really too bad that he isn't smarter, and doesn't know what is going on as much as he thinks he does, or hardly at all. It's sad because he acts like he does. I just figure he is the type of guy who likes to yell at people, ie, a BULLY. He'll find any reason. Amend that, he'll find any reason for someone he thinks is beneath him. He's probably frustrated that he isn't in a big firm where he can yell at subordinates regularly.
Then, later, everyone else is all "I don't know what is up Chris's butt!(that's his name)" to me.
Nice. In that, the whole office knows he is just a big baby.
It's kind of sad, cause he is a scorpio, and I usually like them. 2 others in the place are scorpios, too, but one is a nice "non good morning" one, and the other is a "good morning, but I'll ask everyone but you if they want lunch" one.
Whatever, you know?
These aren't as bad of problems as Jaz, or someone, in that I'm not that overloaded with work. But it is bad in that I go into the office with a normal professional attitude and way of treating people that is regular, but that doesn't apply here. So I have to navigate these stupid emotional waters, that mean nothing to me. As in, what kind of asshole wouldn't say "good morning!" to their coworker when that worker said it first, and also, what kind of asshole would ask everyone in your 6 person office what they wanted for lunch except you. It would be different if it was a huge office, but among only 6 people, to ask everyone but one, that seems like a weird slight. And I'm not the most politest person ever, so if even I know these basic polite work etiquette rules, shouldn't they?
Serious playground mentality. Among people who are old enough to know better.
On the upside, I can find anyone's **** that they are ever looking for. Also strange - if you have a whole FILE, why do you have to just set it on top of the filing cabinet instead of opening that one drawer and placing it in its alphabetical place? It's not hard, it's the alphabet, clearly labeled. And I know for a fact that these people have extra time on their hands. They spend half their workday chatting with each other. About lunch, a lot. :confused::shrug:

So, what, you can't open the drawer with the corresponding alphabetical letter and replace the file? You act like you're so smart, and you have tons of time to chat, but you can't take four seconds to open a drawer? I guess ordering fried chicken for everyone but me has worn you out. Or, maybe complaining for a million years about something the boss asked you to do wears you out. So much so that you can't comprehend the workings of the drawer, or the concept of an alphabet.
Yo, fine. It makes me have a job. But you're still lame.:laugh:
The worst part is, in this office, it could be so much more efficient, but no one can take this step. And I could, but I can't. I barely even have a computer. But I have lots of ways they could overhall their **** to make it better. But they are all just stuck in their stupid rut. And if they can't ask me about lunch, or answer my good morning, they certainly can't take on my efficient suggestions. And when I have presented my efficient suggestions, they have all said "yeah, we know, but the boss blah blah" This is the boss who is rarely there, and who is lame, and who everyone makes fun of.
The problem is, they are all fixed signs, scorpios and aquariuses, and they'd rather sit on their heels then work to change anything.
Before any of you get alarmed for my livelihood, don't worry, I don't present too many suggestions in a pushy way. I do, but then when they explain, I kind of back off. So far. I mean, they don't even invite me to lunch, I'm not equipped to change their computer/record keeping system. No, I am equipped, but as you may have noticed, they aren't as receptive as one would hope for. It could cut into their lunch deciding time. :rolleyes::laugh:
Imagine me having efficient ideas for a whole office. And yet, I am not a slacker compared to them. And yet, they will clearly not do what I say, or suggest. They can't even invite me for lunch, or return my cheery "good morning!":mad:
Man, if I ran that office, they would have even more time to talk about lunch, or chat with each other!!! I tell you what!!

Remember, all you seasoned legal professionals, this is my first legal job. :o I'm craving more responsibility, I want to constantly have the problem of too many deadlines and too much work/responsibility.

Whatev, I'm just trying to get good Bruce tickets....

So they're still really jerky, huh? That sucks. It seems like they just don't like you, for whatever reason. You're the "new girl" right? Perhaps you don't fit into their clique. :shrug: While it makes your work environment sucky, I wouldn't let them know I was bothered. Never let them see you sweat. :laugh: Or just walk up & say "why can't you just be polite & reply to my greeting? Jerk."

[JazmenFlowers]

I really hate attorneys. god.

I may have discussed this, but anyway, I spent pretty much all of the week before last prepping for trial and getting stuff together for the Trial Director presentations, etc. it was a long, horrible ordeal. I ended up staying here til like 7 each night while the attorneys went to the supper club upstairs and drank wine. anyway, fast forward. they settled yesterday. basically, we got what we wanted. the attorney that went to trial came back and sent an email to the head partner to tell him how things went and said he couldn't have done it without the support of...yeah, you guessed it...the other attorneys that helped him. of course word trickled down. he thanked those attorneys that basically sat around and drank wine while myself and a secretary actually put all the docs together so that he could make his presentation and "win" this case. asshole. w/e.

[Livia]

So they're still really jerky, huh? That sucks. It seems like they just don't like you, for whatever reason. You're the "new girl" right? Perhaps you don't fit into their clique. :shrug: While it makes your work environment sucky, I wouldn't let them know I was bothered. Never let them see you sweat. :laugh: Or just walk up & say "why can't you just be polite & reply to my greeting? Jerk."

I'm the type that would practically scream, "Good MORNING!" and wave my hands around until I got noticed. Which would also get me in trouble.

Or answer myself. "Good morning, Amber, how are YOU today?" More trouble.

It is SO tempting to do that. I can get away with it with certain attorneys and staff members, but there are a few I wouldn't DARE speak to that way.

[Livia]

I really hate attorneys. god.

I may have discussed this, but anyway, I spent pretty much all of the week before last prepping for trial and getting stuff together for the Trial Director presentations, etc. it was a long, horrible ordeal. I ended up staying here til like 7 each night while the attorneys went to the supper club upstairs and drank wine. anyway, fast forward. they settled yesterday. basically, we got what we wanted. the attorney that went to trial came back and sent an email to the head partner to tell him how things went and said he couldn't have done it without the support of...yeah, you guessed it...the other attorneys that helped him. of course word trickled down. he thanked those attorneys that basically sat around and drank wine while myself and a secretary actually put all the docs together so that he could make his presentation and "win" this case. asshole. w/e.


Settling before trial is par for the course, and annoying as hell. However, not giving YOU credit is unacceptable. Do you have to record your time? I'd make sure the head partner knows exactly how much time you spent on that case. :nod:

[JazmenFlowers]

Settling before trial is par for the course, and annoying as hell. However, not giving YOU credit is unacceptable. Do you have to record your time? I'd make sure the head partner knows exactly how much time you spent on that case. :nod:
the thing is, we settled a week into trial because the presentations scared/impressed/w/e the defense (we are plaintiff's counsel on this one) so much that they finally offered to settle, having not offered a penny until now. the Trial Director presentation I put together.

and yes, I have to bill. I hate it, but we'll see how they like those 80 hr weeks.

[amber]

So they're still really jerky, huh? That sucks. It seems like they just don't like you, for whatever reason. You're the "new girl" right? Perhaps you don't fit into their clique. :shrug: While it makes your work environment sucky, I wouldn't let them know I was bothered. Never let them see you sweat. :laugh: Or just walk up & say "why can't you just be polite & reply to my greeting? Jerk."

It's not as bad, no. And there's one girl there who's funny and normal. The boys, whatever. If they want to say something, fine, if not, they're douchebags anyway. :laugh: The other girl is off and on, so, I just see which is that day, and don't bug her and whatnot, and just think she's a turd when she has no good morning.
They don't see me sweat, cause I don't care as much anymore. But I acted normal before, anyways. Although I do literally sweat, as it's a half hour bike ride.:p

[amber]

the thing is, we settled a week into trial because the presentations scared/impressed/w/e the defense (we are plaintiff's counsel on this one) so much that they finally offered to settle, having not offered a penny until now. the Trial Director presentation I put together.

and yes, I have to bill. I hate it, but we'll see how they like those 80 hr weeks.

That is really cool, though, Jaz! Like, an accomplishment. I'm sure all the wine drinking lawyers know who really saves their ass, that is why they can never say it or admit it, then they'd be forced to...uh...not take credit for stuff and give you more money. :laugh:
Don't you keep all your ass saving hard work carefully recorded so as to use it in review/raise time?

[amber]

I'm the type that would practically scream, "Good MORNING!" and wave my hands around until I got noticed. Which would also get me in trouble.

Or answer myself. "Good morning, Amber, how are YOU today?" More trouble.

It is SO tempting to do that. I can get away with it with certain attorneys and staff members, but there are a few I wouldn't DARE speak to that way.

:laugh:
Wow, you read my mind. The office is kind of small for me to make a big thing. I mean the amount of people, not the actual office. It's like, they have their flow and their thing and their personalities set, so its better to ignore it. Plus, everyone wicked makes fun of each other, so, you know, I don't need to be in the crossfire of THAT. :laugh: Or how they talk behind backs, I don't need that crossfire either.
Plus, a couple of the people there are so complainy (the main front paralegal, I swear she yells "****!" anytime anything happens. Yet, plays sodoku and hangman for a good portion of the day. If she filed in her free time, they wouldn't have to hire me) that it's kind of new and fun to be the calm one who doesn't talk smack and get all pouty, and keeps up good spirits. They mostly have pretty bad 'tudes, in a benign way, but they're all used to each other with it. It's like a fricking family, barf. A family of malcontents. :laugh: Also, all the guys think they are funny, and if they didn't say it, it's not funny. Naturally, me and the other nice girl are the funniest. :laugh: As we've all noticed, lawyers like to keep credit to themselves.

I'm just the file/phone/medical records/copy ****/find ****/mail ****/write letters/wipe asses girl. :shrug:

[amber]

I'm the type that would practically scream, "Good MORNING!" and wave my hands around until I got noticed. Which would also get me in trouble.

Or answer myself. "Good morning, Amber, how are YOU today?" More trouble.

It is SO tempting to do that. I can get away with it with certain attorneys and staff members, but there are a few I wouldn't DARE speak to that way.

:laugh:
Wow, you read my mind. I answered myself once or twice. :D
The office is kind of small for me to make a big thing. I mean the amount of people, not the actual office. It's like, they have their flow and their thing and their personalities set, so its better to ignore it. Plus, everyone wicked makes fun of each other, so, you know, I don't need to be in the crossfire of THAT. :laugh: Or how they talk behind backs, I don't need that crossfire either.
Plus, a couple of the people there are so complainy (the main front paralegal, I swear she yells "****!" anytime anything happens. Yet, plays sodoku and hangman for a good portion of the day. If she filed in her free time, they wouldn't have to hire me) that it's kind of new and fun to be the calm one who doesn't talk smack and get all pouty, and keeps up good spirits. They mostly have pretty bad 'tudes, in a benign way, but they're all used to each other with it. It's like a fricking family, barf. A family of malcontents. :laugh: Also, all the guys think they are funny, and if they didn't say it, it's not funny. Naturally, me and the other nice girl are the funniest. :laugh: As we've all noticed, lawyers like to keep credit to themselves.

I'm just the file/phone/medical records/copy ****/find ****/mail ****/write letters/wipe asses girl. :shrug:

[JazmenFlowers]

we've been really slow the past week and a half. like, really slow. it's so weird how things turn on a dime in a law firm. one minute you're working til midnight and the very next day everything's dead. this time, it's because our mediation was postponed due to the mediator being sick. it was supposed to happen in mid-October and then got pushed back to end of November. so, we have over a month to kind of piddle around. it's nice to have some downtime to clean up databases and do other things I've been putting off, but I see my "to do" list start clearing out and I start to panic. billable hours, you know! yesterday afternoon I actually got bored. :laugh:

[Betsy]

Today is Monday.

Today is absolutely nuts.

There's gonna be some good-old-fashioned mug slinging done ~ and I wore my good clothes.....

Is it nuts at any other workplace today?

[Livia]

Not too bad today...but it's gonna get real bad soon. Last week, one of our legal secretaries gave her less-than-2-week-notice. I hope karma bites her in the arse for that...but she's only 21 and a total flake, so I guess it was to be expected. She and her boyfriend are allowing themselves to get evicted, cuz it's cheaper than breaking their lease, they're moving back to the Dallas area.

This morning, I reminded one of HER attorneys that since she gave her notice, no one has asked me to place an ad for her replacement. His response, "Oh, I know, I'm gonna talk to (managing partner) about it." I know it will take at least a month to sort through resumes, interview, and hire a replacement. Then we'll have to train her, since the flake will be long gone already....

[Betsy]

Not too bad today...

... She and her boyfriend are allowing themselves to get evicted, cuz it's cheaper than breaking their lease,

...Then we'll have to train her, since the flake will be long gone already....

I am finding humor in your post.

They hired yet, another baby lawyer. So my patience isn't full of "the milk of human kindness" today.

He wanted to know how to apply to be a notary. When I told him the process, he didn't want to wait that long, but wanted to borrow my seal ....

That young pup doesn"t have his eyes open.

[Livia]

Does he know that notaries cannot notarize their own documents?

[Betsy]

The vast sum of what he does/does not know could fill volumes. It is the arrogance with which he speaks to me, and his demeanor, that make for the smile in my heart and the blank expression on my face.

It's like the old expression....give him enough rope....and he will hang himself.

[Livia]

He sounds like one of mine...fresh out of law school? I've got to find that email I sent to Bruce last week about her, and copy and paste it here.

Edit: Found it! I've redacted her name....here's part one:

Ugh! I am SOOO sick of _________ making her condescending remarks like I'm a poodle that just mastered a new trick. Whenever I need to explain something to her (for the 100th time), or correct her...she always says things like, "Thanks for catching that! GOOD JOB!!!!!!" And I'm like, "Well, if you'd f*ckin' listen to me and/or do it right the first time, I wouldn't HAVE to correct you...repeatedly...do I get a doggie-treat now?"

Bruce's response was basically, "Tell that beeyotch to stfu."

Part 2 (yes, we really write this way to each other - kudos if you can catch all the lyric and movie quote references):

Next time she praises me, I should say, "I'm not lookin' for a pat on the head, just some conformity on your part. You've worked here a year now and we've been over (and over) this stuff repeatedly; I'm not asking you to do anything different than what ALL the other attorneys here do..." It's not just the fake praise, she gets defiant and still wants to do things her way. Why must EVERYthing be a CONTEST?! I'm just extra-annoyed with it all right now because while I'm STILL trying to get ____________ on the conformity wagon, in the back of my mind (where you live all the time), I'm dreading ______'s departure, the extra work it will bring to my plate and having to train ___________'s replacement. I was just on the phone with ___________ and told her about _____________ - and that in my perfect world - we'd have someone hired and trained before ________'s last day. But since (I am) NO ONE has asked me to even place an ad to begin our search, that ain't gonna happen...

[Betsy]

Graduated in June and passed the bar in October...do they get any younger than that?

[Livia]

Well, I don't have to worry about baby attorney anymore. They fired her! :eek: I'm pretty shocked...When I came in this morning, the receptionist told me that she wouldn't be in today. A few minutes later, one of my attorneys, a sr. partner, told me that they had a board meeting yesterday and decided to let her go. According to him, their decision was based on our anticipated workload and revenue. Given my own experience with her, and having to train and re-train her the simplest tasks, like filling out a form correctly, I suspect the reason the partner gave me wasn't the only reason. I feel like they didn't feel confident giving her cases - she always had to be hand-held and monitored. Oh well...

Now that's one less attorney I have to support. I'm wondering if I'll get one of the other attorneys, or more administrative work to do??

We interviewed 2 people this morning for the vacant legal secretary position...

[rbs3676]

Well, I don't have to worry about baby attorney anymore. They fired her! :eek: I'm pretty shocked...When I came in this morning, the receptionist told me that she wouldn't be in today. A few minutes later, one of my attorneys, a sr. partner, told me that they had a board meeting yesterday and decided to let her go. According to him, their decision was based on our anticipated workload and revenue. Given my own experience with her, and having to train and re-train her the simplest tasks, like filling out a form correctly, I suspect the reason the partner gave me wasn't the only reason. I feel like they didn't feel confident giving her cases - she always had to be hand-held and monitored. Oh well...

Now that's one less attorney I have to support. I'm wondering if I'll get one of the other attorneys, or more administrative work to do??

We interviewed 2 people this morning for the vacant legal secretary position...


STFU!! :laugh:

Wow. I know that you didnt see THAT coming!!

Less work load for you right now -- gives you some SXSW prep-time! :xoxo:

rbs

[Livia]

I'll be slammed with work until the new secretary is fully trained. I think we found someone, but she can't start until Feb.

[Betsy]

Quoting Livia:

"I feel like they didn't feel confident giving her cases - she always had to be hand-held and monitored."

OMG! Her equally stupid, evil twin works here -- right here in my office!


Back to business --- I threw Socially Awkward a real estate call. (She's a title examiner.) The call was right up her alley. So, like a good little secretary (remember: she's an attorney) she took all the information and sent it as an E-mail to the managing partner and told him to call the Client back.

He flew into her office and yelled -- "Not so fast. You handle this."

Then she got pissed, pouted and left early.

Liva-- you had me laughing so hard with your comment...

"...in the back of my mind (where you live all the time)... "

How true! How true!

(I love this thread.)

[Betsy]

I really should STOP reviving this thread, but when I get annoyed with my superiors I find that a little venting does the soul good.

New Baby Lawyer got his correspondence back as a bad address....so he sent it again today...to the same address...only certified. :laugh:

It reminds me of the old saying about the carpenter who declared:

"I've sawed this board off again, and it's still too short!"

[JWS]

I really should STOP reviving this thread, but when I get annoyed with my superiors I find that a little venting does the soul good.

New Baby Lawyer got his correspondence back as a bad address....so he sent it again today...to the same address...only certified. :laugh:

It reminds me of the old saying about the carpenter who declared:

"I've sawed this board off again, and it's still too short!"

Makes you wonder how some people even get into law school let alone pass the bar.:laugh:

[HejiraNYC]

I really should STOP reviving this thread, but when I get annoyed with my superiors I find that a little venting does the soul good.

New Baby Lawyer got his correspondence back as a bad address....so he sent it again today...to the same address...only certified. :laugh:

It reminds me of the old saying about the carpenter who declared:

"I've sawed this board off again, and it's still too short!"

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." -Albert Einstein

[Betsy]

^^^

(I love that quote.)