Saying Goodbye To A Friend

[Johnny Stew]

I found out late Friday night that a very dear online friend of mine (we've known each other for over 7 years) passed away. His name was Wyatt and he was only 38 years old.
He lost his hearing when he was nearly 5 years old, to Scarlet Fever (his father was in the military and the family was stationed in Central America at the time), and he was prone to sudden, unexplainable and untreatable fevers ever after that. He's been in the hospital dozens and dozens of times, and has lapsed into comas several times. But he always fought and he always got better. But this time his body couldnt fight anymore. His heart had become too weakened.

Wyatt had a rough life even beyond losing his hearing... he lost both of his parents in a car accident when he was only 17, and had no other living relatives. He also endured other tragedies, including suddenly losing his best friend to a brain aneurysm last year.
But he never let anything stop him from living and he never let any of it make him angry or bitter. He had an incredible spirit and was deeply compassionate. He did a lot of volunteer work, whether it was something "small-scale" like helping elderly neighbors on his block, or something "large-scale," like traveling to help hearing-impaired victims of Hurricane Katrina. And every Thanksgiving he would make tons of Turkey sandwiches to take to the homeless people in Topeka, Kansas, where he lived.
Even in his final hours, his boyfriend told me that his thoughts were of his friends and his two dogs.

But Wyatt wasn't perfect, and he'd be mad at me for not saying that. He never wanted to be pitied or to be treated differently or for anyone to put him on a pedestal. He hated when people treated him like a "special person," and not, simply, as a person who had faults and flaws. He'd be the very first person to tell you that he drank too much, smoked too much, and had a stubborn streak a mile long.

It's funny how, with the internet as such a huge communication tool now, you can feel so close to someone without ever having met them. He and I shared thoughts, fears and secrets that neither of us have ever shared with those around us. We both deeply cherished our friendship and loved each other very much. Two "misfits" who forged a bond across hundreds of miles.

My heart is broken and I'm going to miss him so much... I'm going to miss seeing his smiling face on webcam, hearing his laughter through my speakers, and just knowing that the world was a better place as long as he was in it.

Thanks, everyone, for letting me talk about him.

[Miss Vicky]

That's terrible news. I'm sorry to hear about your loss and while it's sad to hear that he had a tough life it's also inspiring to know that he never let it get to him.

My heart goes out to you, to his boyfriend, and to everyone else who loved him.

[Beachwood Mac]

What an eloquent tribute. So sorry for your loss.

Terry

[amber]

What a wonderful man. You are blessed to have had his spirit in your life, as is everyone else his kindness touched.
I'm sorry for your loss. :(
:xoxo:

[David]

My condolences, Stew. He sounds like a first-rate guy. What caused his fevers?

[GypsySorcerer]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Brian. :( Wyatt sounded like a truly exceptional individual.

[CrystalVisions]

My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I'm so glad you shared your story. Sending you big hugs, sweetie...I'm so sorry. :xoxo:

[Patti]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Brian. You wrote a very touching and eloquent tribute to Wyatt and I hope it helped you to do so.

Sending big hugs and lots of love your way.

[bikerchic]

So sorry to hear of your loss. He sounds like he was a really great guy. He was a really lucky guy to have had a friend like you.

It's better to have loved and lost.....then to never have loved at all.

[Sugar]

Eloquent as always, Brian. So sorry.

[madformac]

I know it's a cliche but it seems the really good people do usually tend to depart at an early age. Sorry about your loss. :distress: Hopefully he's with his friends and family now. :)

[sara1998]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Brian. It surely sounds like he will be missed.

[jannieC]

I'm sorry you've lost such a special friend. xoxoxo

[Richard B]

What a beautiful post about an equally beautiful person. We can all learn from both of you. Thanks for sharing.

[WelshWitchPMD]

I am sorry about your friend, Brian. It just goes to show you that no matter how bad we think that our lives are there are others who have it much worse. No matter how much we might pity our own live we can still make a small difference in someone else's life who has it worse then we do.

[DrummerDeanna]

I am sorry to hear about your friend, Brian :( What an amazing person he sounded like...the world absolutely needs more people like him.

[wondergirl9847]

I'm so sorry to hear that. My condolences to you and Wyatt's family/friends.
:(

I know what you mean about connecting with people miles and miles away. I've formed many friendships (a few very close) with people online and some I've never met or even seen before.

We lost a couple of ladies to cancer on my Justin board over the past few years. Never met either one, but they were wonderful women nonetheless. :)

[estranged4life]

just hang in there and know ya have yer online family here to vent to.

[JazmenFlowers]

Brian, I'm so sorry. it's so wonderful to have an online family and I'm sorry you had to lose such a great person in your life. best wishes to you and Wyatt's boyfriend and other friends. we're here for you.

the thread on the Stevie forum about Unconditional Love takes on a new meaning for me tonight...

unconditional love...I'll be there when you fall

[Nixxxed]

I'm sorry Brian. I have no doubt Wyatt was glad to have you in his life, too.

[riff_Shuffler]

Bri,
Your caring words and memories are so touchingly shown here... Wyatt would be so honored by you (and I'm sure that he is).

Take it day by day, and know that your friends are here with you, sweet guy...
Joshua xoxoxo

[BTFLCHLD]

i have a really good friend i met in a chat when first online a bazillion yrs ago...and he is THE BEST!! ;)

sorry for your loss stewbe...
youre a really good friend :cool:

[HomerMcvie]

I'm so sorry, Brian.
Take care, my friend.

[Livia]

Oh, Brian, I'm so sorry. :xoxo:

[SuzeQuze]

I'm sorry for your Loss, Brian. Wyatt sounds like he was a beautiful person who touched many people.

[DavidMn]

Well, after reading that, my life definitely doesnt suck as bad as I thought it did.

[skcin]

:( Sorry to read this.

I was just realizing the other day how close we get to our internet friends, often without ever meeting them in person. :nod: You always hear about the psychos who prey on victims through the net, or people who try internet dating without success.

But you don't hear much about when really great friendships are started. Something pulls you together -whether it be music, lifestyle, religion, occupation, whatever, and it just goes from there. I think it's wonderful.

I.....I.....I love you guys so much! :distress:


:laugh:

[JazmenFlowers]

I.....I.....I love you guys so much! :distress:
I feel so close to you...like we've been friends forever.

I love you too Patsy.

:laugh:

[DavidMn]

:( Sorry to read this.

I was just realizing the other day how close we get to our internet friends, often without ever meeting them in person. :nod: You always hear about the psychos who prey on victims through the net, or people who try internet dating without success.

But you don't hear much about when really great friendships are started. Something pulls you together -whether it be music, lifestyle, religion, occupation, whatever, and it just goes from there. I think it's wonderful.

I.....I.....I love you guys so much! :distress:


:laugh:Thanks Paula, youre a sweetheart too. And never afraid to correct me, which is a good thing!:nod:

[strandinthewind]

Sorry to hear of this loss Brian - but they are now an :angel: on your shoulder!!!! {{{HUGS}}}}

[JohnL]

Brian,

I echo whoever said earlier that God seems to take the really good people to be with him because they are too good for this world. He definitely sounds like one of those people. It is a rare thing when you meet someone with issues in his life that most people would become overwhelmed by but, instead, he continued to give and give. His life and spirit should truly be celebrated. I am sorry for your loss and for those close to him. I think we can all learn something from Wyatt. Keep the faith bud!!

John

[Johnny Stew]

I just wanted to thank everyone for the very sweet and caring comments and condolences. It really means more to me than I can say. Thank you.

What caused his fevers?It was a virus that lingered (like rheumatic fever?) in Wyatt's body, after his childhood bout with Scarlet Fever. It would usually flare up during times when he was overworked or run-down. Sometimes the fever would break after just a couple of days, and without having gotten too high. Other times, it would keep going higher and he'd end up in the hospital. They were never able to do much for him though -- it always seemed that they could only monitor him and let the fever run its course.

Take it day by day, and know that your friends are here with you, sweet guy...You have been my rock... thank you. :xoxo:

[Sorcerer386]

I don't have a lot to say, except my sympathies to you Brian. You know I don't seem to have the capability to cry Brian, but this made my eyes well up, admittedly.

You were with me all the time
I'll be with you one day

[golddustwoman77]

Sorry to hear about your friend. That is truely sad to lose a friend, and even more difficult to except when the friend was so young. Hang in there, Johnny Stew. :xoxo:

[sodascouts]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I'm sure he would have appreciated your tribute.

[Johnny Stew]

I can't thank everyone enough for the kind words, both in this thread and via private messages. I'm deeply touched.

It's difficult thinking about the fact that I will never again be able to talk to Wyatt, and I have to confess to having a lot of anger right now regarding the fact that he fought so bravely to overcome so many obstacles (far more than any one person should ever have to face), only to die at 38.
But I'm trying to come to terms with it, and I'm looking into ways to do something lasting in Wyatt's name. So at least something positive can come out of this.

Thanks again, everyone.

[macfanken]

I'm sorry Brian, 38 is much too young to die. Hang on to your memories of Wyatt.