Friends (Not the TV show)

[markolas]

Has anyone looked at their friends and wondered why they talk to these people? I don't think my friends are bad, I just feel like I have next to nothing in common with them. The few really good friends I have made since I've been in Austin have all moved clear across the country, and I inevitably lose touch. It looks like another one might be moving to New York. I'm depressed. :( :lol:

I'm bored. Entertain me?

[mylittledemon]

I actually have a lot of friends that I don't have much in common with. I have a large eclectic group of people that i enjoy hanging out with. I actually prefer the differences between all of us, because it gives everyone something to offer. i think sometimes it is good to have friends that you have a lot in common with too, but I find that tends to get boring when someone likes everything that you like. It just makes for interesting arguments and banter. Much like many of the posts here on The Ledge.

I have battled that "best friend/moving away" thing all my life. I have moved around so much and made SO many "best" friends. I have one right now, my roomate, who is the probably the best friend I had in years...but I'm moving to New Zealand later in the year and will have to leave the physical closeness of the friendship behind. You can't live your life for your friends, unfortunately...

BRANDoN


Has anyone looked at their friends and wondered why they talk to these people? I don't think my friends are bad, I just feel like I have next to nothing in common with them. The few really good friends I have made since I've been in Austin have all moved clear across the country, and I inevitably lose touch. It looks like another one might be moving to New York. I'm depressed. :( :lol:

I'm bored. Entertain me?

[catinthedark]

sorry to hear about that. my very best friend moved away about three months ago. i miss her more than i can say.

that said, a short time ago, i made a conscious decision to only hang out with, go out with, share my time with people i trust, have fun with, feel good with. as much as i hate cliches with a passion... you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. choose wisely. if someone is toxic, or making your life miserable, taking and not giving, or just plain boring - lose them.

good luck -

[Lala]

Has anyone looked at their friends and wondered why they talk to these people?

Sort of. I'm graduating from high school this year and during the pasdt few days, I've just been realizing how READY I am to graduate. I just feel so much older than these people I guess. More mature...

[amber]

Has anyone looked at their friends and wondered why they talk to these people? I don't think my friends are bad, I just feel like I have next to nothing in common with them. The few really good friends I have made since I've been in Austin have all moved clear across the country, and I inevitably lose touch. It looks like another one might be moving to New York. I'm depressed. :( :lol:

I'm bored. Entertain me?

Sorry, Markolas. Yeah, I realized that. i actually stopped hanging out with that friend. I mean, she's great, it's just boring for me. All my good friends (uh...all 2 of them? :laugh: *excluding fabulous ledgies*) live in different towns. :( It does suck, but I've resigned myself to the fact that I may be alone a lot, and won't really have friends to do in town things with. I could be really, really lonely, but I choose not to think about it. Luckily, I usually have too much to do. It's "too much" because I'm pretty lazy. :laugh:

With dull friends, or friends you have nothing in common with - I always think - "could I be having more fun by myself right now?" and the answer is usually yes. So I leave. :woohoo: My one "friend" used to make fun of me cause I'd go with her to people's houses, or out, or whatever, and often leave. Just walk my ass home. Or I'd bring my rollerblades places with her for the inevitable quick exit.

[Red]

I think I'm lucky enough to have a good eclectic mix. My closest friends I have a ton in common with (including Stevie/Mac fandom) and a nice bunch of pals with varied interests.

Does anyone else find that there is a common thread with their relationships, friends and otherwise? I find that I'm drawn to "strong" people. No whiners, no cry-babies, no victims. People that look after themselves I just tend to have more respect for.

[amber]

I think I'm lucky enough to have a good eclectic mix. My closest friends I have a ton in common with (including Stevie/Mac fandom) and a nice bunch of pals with varied interests.

Does anyone else find that there is a common thread with their relationships, friends and otherwise? I find that I'm drawn to "strong" people. No whiners, no cry-babies, no victims. People that look after themselves I just tend to have more respect for.

All my friends are really pretty, and exceptionally nice :)

They are different otherwise, though. At one time I had like, 6 friends and none of them could've really successfully hung out together. It was weird. I need a separate kind of person for every personality and interest. :laugh:

[Red]

All my friends are really pretty, and exceptionally nice :)

They are different otherwise, though. At one time I had like, 6 friends and none of them could've really successfully hung out together. It was weird. I need a separate kind of person for every personality and interest. :laugh:

Isn't that funny that there are some friends that you just know won't jive and shouldn't mix? And others that you can't wait for them to meet?

My tightest group of friends is an interesting melange of ages, personalities, backgrounds and sexual orientation. And there's only 5 of us. Its great - like a Benetton ad!! Maybe Angelina will adopt us.:lol:

[amber]

Isn't that funny that there are some friends that you just know won't jive and shouldn't mix? And others that you can't wait for them to meet?

My tightest group of friends is an interesting melange of ages, personalities, backgrounds and sexual orientation. And there's only 5 of us. Its great - like a Benetton ad!! Maybe Angelina will adopt us.:lol:

:laugh:
That sounds fun. And it's so very Aquarius.
I'm really a "one best friend" type of person by nature, but when you grow up that doesn't work out as well.
Actually, i didn't know they shouldn't mix, I thought they would mix, but they didn't mix at all. And all of them have a lot of friends, and can get along with tons of people. So the whole thing is really bizarre. :confused: I'm like the fulcrum on which other people with tons of friends balance, but never cross. Okay, that was lame, sorry. :laugh:

[Red]

:laugh:
That sounds fun. And it's so very Aquarius.
I'm really a "one best friend" type of person by nature, but when you grow up that doesn't work out as well.
Actually, i didn't know they shouldn't mix, I thought they would mix, but they didn't mix at all. And all of them have a lot of friends, and can get along with tons of people. So the whole thing is really bizarre. :confused: I'm like the fulcrum on which other people with tons of friends balance, but never cross. Okay, that was lame, sorry. :laugh:

So would that make you the friend "hub", yet the friends are like the opposite sides of magnets? This should be documented...researched even! It makes no freakin' sense.

See I've got a pretty good read on you and I think if, instead, you're not the hub and drawn in instead to an existing nucleus, then all will gel. So when are you moving to Calgary?:laugh: :wavey:

[amber]

So would that make you the friend "hub", yet the friends are like the opposite sides of magnets? This should be documented...researched even! It makes no freakin' sense.

See I've got a pretty good read on you and I think if, instead, you're not the hub and drawn in instead to an existing nucleus, then all will gel. So when are you moving to Calgary?:laugh: :wavey:

Ah, I think you're right. :nod: Except I don't usually like hardly any of my friends' friends. So I guess you're wrong?

My moving date is August seventy twelfth. Yeah, I'm trying to move to warmer places, not colder.

I can't pay attention to five people at once! :p But I definitely wish all my Mac friends lived here.

[Red]

Ah, I think you're right. :nod: Except I don't usually like hardly any of my friends' friends. So I guess you're wrong?

My moving date is August seventy twelfth. Yeah, I'm trying to move to warmer places, not colder.

I can't pay attention to five people at once! :p But I definitely wish all my Mac friends lived here.

Ah, but YOU are the one that is wrong, Otter, because you know me AND Danny AND we're Mac fans AND we're aweosme AND you think so too. And the other 3 are Mac fans. Is that not Utopia? Before we all went out last weekend we did Jaeg shots whilst listening to EO17, Red Rocks style. Mmm-hmm.:)

[amber]

Ah, but YOU are the one that is wrong, Otter, because you know me AND Danny AND we're Mac fans AND we're aweosme AND you think so too. And the other 3 are Mac fans. Is that not Utopia? Before we all went out last weekend we did Jaeg shots whilst listening to EO17, Red Rocks style. Mmm-hmm.:)
I can't believe you have four mac friends. :mad: Okay, I'll move. :blob2: I dream of getting ready to go out with my cool friends as Stevie is blaring and we're all singing really loud.
You have to have a shot of Yaeger waiting for me, though, because if you're all going to talk at once, and you will - I can tell - I'm going to need it.
I really can't believe you have that many mac friends. I mean, how the hell did that happen? I can't, and have never been able to, get one person I like to like mac. Oh, there was that one girl, she liked SS. That's hardly a "mac friend" though. Hmm, I wasn't before, but now I'm lonely and jealous....:laugh: Better sing some stevie, quick!

[Red]

I can't believe you have four mac friends. :mad: Okay, I'll move. :blob2: I dream of getting ready to go out with my cool friends as Stevie is blaring and we're all singing really loud.
You have to have a shot of Yaeger waiting for me, though, because if you're all going to talk at once, and you will - I can tell - I'm going to need it.
I really can't believe you have that many mac friends. I mean, how the hell did that happen? I can't, and have never been able to, get one person I like to like mac. Oh, there was that one girl, she liked SS. That's hardly a "mac friend" though. Hmm, I wasn't before, but now I'm lonely and jealous....:laugh: Better sing some stevie, quick!

Actually, I'm lucky to have 6 Mac friends.:) That was just for that particular evening.
Have you bought your plane ticket yet?

Y'know, now that I think about it, that is pretty freakin' weird that I know so many Mac fans. Well, 2 were successful conversions, but 4 are originals, so yeah, I can't explain the rest of it. Oh there was twirling last weekend. And if I'm lucky, there'll be twirling this weekend too. See, if you come here, you get all the Jaeg shots you want AND you'll get a turn to talk.:lol:

[amber]

Actually, I'm lucky to have 6 Mac friends.:) That was just for that particular evening.
Have you bought your plane ticket yet?

Y'know, now that I think about it, that is pretty freakin' weird that I know so many Mac fans. Well, 2 were successful conversions, but 4 are originals, so yeah, I can't explain the rest of it. Oh there was twirling last weekend. And if I'm lucky, there'll be twirling this weekend too. See, if you come here, you get all the Jaeg shots you want AND you'll get a turn to talk.:lol:
:mad: :mad: :mad:

You're getting too much of the universe's blessing.
:laugh:

That is really strange, dude. I bet not one other person on this board can say the same, unless they met the people through some mac avenue. I bet no one person has that many mac friends in their area that they can actually do things with.
Oh, good story - I'm volunteering at Earthjustice, right, for my work experience requirement and cause I want to work there. So, I had my 27 dollar Stevie Nicks OSOTM tour water bottle out the other day at EJ. The guy who is giving me things to do is all: "I love your water bottle!" and I was like "huh"? because I had an organic farming coffee cup thingy next to it. And he's all "no, the Stevie Nicks one! that is great!"
and then he's all "we have quite a few rabid Stevie fans here" (:shocked: :blob2: ) and he goes on "There was this one guy, he doesn't work here any more, but I guess Stevie was in Vegas? [I nod that she was] And he spent alllllll this money to be in the front row at her show!" :shocked:
My point is, it was meant to be. :)

[Red]

:mad: :mad: :mad:

You're getting too much of the universe's blessing.
:laugh:

That is really strange, dude. I bet not one other person on this board can say the same, unless they met the people through some mac avenue. I bet no one person has that many mac friends in their area that they can actually do things with.
Oh, good story - I'm volunteering at Earthjustice, right, for my work experience requirement and cause I want to work there. So, I had my 27 dollar Stevie Nicks OSOTM tour water bottle out the other day at EJ. The guy who is giving me things to do is all: "I love your water bottle!" and I was like "huh"? because I had an organic farming coffee cup thingy next to it. And he's all "no, the Stevie Nicks one! that is great!"
and then he's all "we have quite a few rabid Stevie fans here" (:shocked: :blob2: ) and he goes on "There was this one guy, he doesn't work here any more, but I guess Stevie was in Vegas? [I nod that she was] And he spent alllllll this money to be in the front row at her show!" :shocked:
My point is, it was meant to be. :)

See, that's total serendipity! Now it would've been REALLY awesome if he still worked ther AND was straight!

I totally realise how uber lucky I am with all the Mac friends. And they're awesome people to boot, even if they weren't into them. I love being able to make song references in every day conversation and they'll get it, although its usually Danny - he's the most rabid.:nod:

See now I wish that other people on this board, especially my darling Otter, could experience our Stevie nights. Debauchery and twirling and silliness, usually involving alcohol. I remember when I converted two friends in one evening; we were up, literally all night, listening to the albums back to back as I regailed them with stories of the wonderful soap opera. By sun-up, they were hooked and never looked back. Have you tried that yet Amber? Brainwashing your friends?:D

[amber]

No, of course not - I wouldn't do that to my friends, and they wouldn't stand for it. *I've tried some stuff, though. Just never all night long (all night)*
But I usually think that if only, only people could hear more, they would be converted. And see, you've proved that's true. :)

Soooo...when are you in Vegas? :D

Kay - I was at the Concord Mac concert, right? This African American couple is on the shuttle bus back to BART with me. So we were talking, and it was fun. And the guy was totally into it, right? All giddy over the tour book and shih.
But they were married.
And i was thinking, how dense is this lady?
A black guy who loves FM. It's like the rarest species in the world. It's more endangered than the Cheetah. Etc.


"HONEY! YOUR HUSBAND IS GAY!!!"
I felt like saying. But i didn't.
Just a little Macnecdote for ya. Your comment reminded me of it.

I'll put Calgary on my list. Me and my man arms are on their way. :cool:

[Red]

No, of course not - I wouldn't do that to my friends, and they wouldn't stand for it. *I've tried some stuff, though. Just never all night long (all night)*
But I usually think that if only, onlypeople could hear more, they would be converted. And see, you've proved that's true. :)

Soooo...when are you in Vegas? :D

Kay - I was at the Concord Mac concert, right? This African American couple is on the shuttle bus back to BART with me. So we were talking, and it was fun. And the guy was totally into it, right? All giddy over the tour book and shih.
But they were married.
And i was thinking, how dense is this lady?
A black guy who loves FM. It's like the rarest species in the world. It's more endangered than the Cheetah. Etc.


"HONEY! YOUR HUSBAND IS GAY!!!"
I felt like saying. But i didn't.
Just a little Macnecdote for ya. Your comment reminded me of it.

I'll put Calgary on my list. Me and my man arms are on their way. :cool:

Yeah, I tend to jump all over people if I find out they even LIKE a FM song. I try and engage them in in-depth convos. Sometimes it works, others, not so much. That said, my brainwashing attempts worked only because the nature of the FM music is SO them. It just didn't make sense they weren't fans. I was my obligation to show them the way.

Vegas, May 10th - May 17th.
Same 2 birthday people will be attending as last year.
Be there or be square.
Sesly.
Bring the rockin' arms to Vegas AND Calgary.:wavey:

Well, I'm off to bed. I swear to god, I can't ever get to sleep to save my life.:confused:

[amber]

Yeah, I tend to jump all over people if I find out they even LIKE a FM song. I try and engage them in in-depth convos. Sometimes it works, others, not so much. That said, my brainwashing attempts worked only because the nature of the FM music is SO them. It just didn't make sense they weren't fans. I was my obligation to show them the way.

Vegas, May 10th - May 17th.
Same 2 birthday people will be attending as last year.
Be there or be square.
Sesly.
Bring the rockin' arms to Vegas AND Calgary.:wavey:

Well, I'm off to bed. I swear to god, I can't ever get to sleep to save my life.:confused:

Me neither. Nor get up in the morn. G'night. :wavey:

[DavidMn]

My best friend of 20+ years now lives in Springfield Missouri, which is about 700 miles from Minneapolis. But we still stay in touch via cell phone, and I've had a chance to visit him and his wife and 2 kids about 4 times.

[hayley]

I have a hard time making friends. Like, good friends. I'm friendly with everyone I work with, etc. and have a lot of acquaintances, but when it comes to the step of actually having someone to call and talk to and hang out with, I'm terrible. I only have people in my life who I really want there.

Right now I think I'm blessed because I've fallen in love, and my bf is fantastic, and his friends are great too. All people I love. It's like getting a boyfriend and a whole new set of friends.

[DavidMn]

I have a hard time making friends. Like, good friends. I'm friendly with everyone I work with, etc. and have a lot of acquaintances, but when it comes to the step of actually having someone to call and talk to and hang out with, I'm terrible. I only have people in my life who I really want there.

Right now I think I'm blessed because I've fallen in love, and my bf is fantastic, and his friends are great too. All people I love. It's like gettign a boyfriend adn a whole new set of friends.See I'm the same way. I'd rather have a few close friends than a bunch I hardly know.:)

[ryan8472]

I say this every day. I ask my friends "Why do I hang out with you guys?" :laugh: It doesnt help that they're mostly a year younger than me and seem to act much more immature than me. Even though I sure act immature a whole lot...

[Pisces Queen]

Life is a strange trip isn't it. When I lived in my home town 10 years ago I had about 5 close girlfriends that I loved to death. Each were different and unique and I loved them dearly but I couldn't find a man to keep my interest. I was always single and having a blast. I moved to Texas in 1997 with my best guy friend and him and I are still as close as peas and carrots and I have met the man of my dreams and married him. He is my BEST friend. But I miss my girlfriends so much. I have met a few people here and there that I like but schedules, kids and husbands keep us apart. But I miss my friends so much. We use to go out dancing and have sleep over’s and do each others hair and talk about celebrity gossip. It's been so long since I have moved that we have for the most part lost touch. I did talk to one of them last week. She was like my baby sister and I cried like a baby when we hung up. What I wouldn't give for a weekend with all 5 of them again ~ good times. :thumbsup:

[AliceLover]

:mad: :mad: :mad:

You're getting too much of the universe's blessing.
:laugh:

That is really strange, dude. I bet not one other person on this board can say the same, unless they met the people through some mac avenue. I bet no one person has that many mac friends in their area that they can actually do things with.
Oh, good story - I'm volunteering at Earthjustice, right, for my work experience requirement and cause I want to work there. So, I had my 27 dollar Stevie Nicks OSOTM tour water bottle out the other day at EJ. The guy who is giving me things to do is all: "I love your water bottle!" and I was like "huh"? because I had an organic farming coffee cup thingy next to it. And he's all "no, the Stevie Nicks one! that is great!"
and then he's all "we have quite a few rabid Stevie fans here" (:shocked: :blob2: ) and he goes on "There was this one guy, he doesn't work here any more, but I guess Stevie was in Vegas? [I nod that she was] And he spent alllllll this money to be in the front row at her show!" :shocked:
My point is, it was meant to be. :)
I would kill for that water bottle! :thumbsup:

[goldustsongbird]

How about friends who pay more attention to one person in the group than anyone else? Just goes to show, no matter how old you are, or what kind of company you keep, there's always that one that everyone just loves, and thinks is so "everything", you know? Pisses me off.

[DavidMn]

How about friends who pay more attention to one person in the group than anyone else? Just goes to show, no matter how old you are, or what kind of company you keep, there's always that one that everyone just loves, and thinks is so "everything", you know? Pisses me off.I know the feeling.

[SuzeQuze]

I have a hard time making friends. Like, good friends. I'm friendly with everyone I work with, etc. and have a lot of acquaintances, but when it comes to the step of actually having someone to call and talk to and hang out with, I'm terrible. I only have people in my life who I really want there.

Right now I think I'm blessed because I've fallen in love, and my bf is fantastic, and his friends are great too. All people I love. It's like getting a boyfriend and a whole new set of friends.

I'm the same way, Hayley. Now where's that BF? :D

My friends Charlie and Wanjeri moved to Phoenix last year and that sucked. So many others have moved that now I just don't get attached. Not that I won't have close friends but I always know they can go away in a heartbeat. It is a sad fact of life. When I moved into the city a good friend of mine moved to NYC and I was so looking forward to living closer to her and having her show me around a bit. So I was on my own as usual. I guess we all pretty much are. People are there for us but only to a certain extent and then it is all ourselves.

[goldustsongbird]

I know the feeling.

Sigh. It's harder for me to deal with, since this person is my best friend...
We're sort of like Stevie and Chris. She's the outgoing, limelight lovin' one, and I'm kind of "the other girl". I'm not completely comfortable in the spotlight 24/7, but some recognition once in awhile would be nice!

[DavidMn]

Sigh. It's harder for me to deal with, since this person is my best friend...
We're sort of like Stevie and Chris. She's the outgoing, limelight lovin' one, and I'm kind of "the other girl". I'm not completely comfortable in the spotlight 24/7, but some recognition once in awhile would be nice!You got it. I'm the same way. I prefer to stay in the background.:nod:

[foxyluva]

Its nice to read about people having friendship problems. I can really say that all my 'best friends' who i went to school with have all gone there own ways and left me behind - I now know that they never really cared about me.

I have many friends - but none that I can 100% realte to, I thought I did when I was younger and naive. But I have come to realise that I am soo much more complex than all my friends, and even getting them to try and understand anything that I try and talk to them about is pointless.

For instance, a while ago, I told someone that I considered one of my closest friends that I was suffering from depression. He just said "Oh. Okay. So, anyway, do you wanna go and get something to eat?" and left it at that. :mad:

[SuzeQuze]

Its nice to read about people having friendship problems. I can really say that all my 'best friends' who i went to school with have all gone there own ways and left me behind - I now know that they never really cared about me.

I have many friends - but none that I can 100% realte to, I thought I did when I was younger and naive. But I have come to realise that I am soo much more complex than all my friends, and even getting them to try and understand anything that I try and talk to them about is pointless.

For instance, a while ago, I told someone that I considered one of my closest friends that I was suffering from depression. He just said "Oh. Okay. So, anyway, do you wanna go and get something to eat?" and left it at that. :mad:

Many people, especially men, have no idea how to handle depression. They're often not educated about what it is and have no idea how to be supportive. Your friend probably had nothing to say because he didn't want to say the wrong thing. If you value the friendship you could give him a pamphlet or a book about depression. Or even just tell him you were hurt by his response and explain your illness and how he can be supportive. Then if he still can't be supportive you can re-evaluate whether to continue the friendship. I hope you are feeling better now.

[foxyluva]

Many people, especially men, have no idea how to handle depression. They're often not educated about what it is and have no idea how to be supportive. Your friend probably had nothing to say because he didn't want to say the wrong thing. If you value the friendship you could give him a pamphlet or a book about depression. Or even just tell him you were hurt by his response and explain your illness and how he can be supportive. Then if he still can't be supportive you can re-evaluate whether to continue the friendship. I hope you are feeling better now.

Yes, i don't think he got the gravity of the situation. Thats why I say im much more complex than most of my friends - who are all concerned with going out, partying, tricking out their cars etc. when im dealing with alot that they have never had to deal with, and I don't relate to them because of this.

I still suffer from depression - but its never constant. I've been meaning to see a therapist or a councillor about it, but i never seem to actually do it.

I think alot of my depression was caused by the medication I was on recently, called Accutane, which is an acne drug.

[SuzeQuze]

Yes, i don't think he got the gravity of the situation. Thats why I say im much more complex than most of my friends - who are all concerned with going out, partying, tricking out their cars etc. when im dealing with alot that they have never had to deal with, and I don't relate to them because of this.

I still suffer from depression - but its never constant. I've been meaning to see a therapist or a councillor about it, but i never seem to actually do it.

I think alot of my depression was caused by the medication I was on recently, called Accutane, which is an acne drug.

Call your doctor then and make an appointment. When you feel better you will be able to relate to your friends again.

[JazmenFlowers]

in all honesty, I really only have one "friend"...my best friend since college and we tend to go in and out of being "close" - we compliment each other, but can both be selfish bitches. very different, but very similar.

I have lots of acquaintances, but no one I'd really call a friend and it's weird for me because I've always had lots of friends. I just find I don't really have time or the energy most of the time. There are times it depresses me that I don't have a big group of friends, but most of the time I'm glad I don't.

[foxyluva]

Call your doctor then and make an appointment. When you feel better you will be able to relate to your friends again.

I doubt it. We are all very different people now. I think I need to start making new ones, and keeping my old friends as friends - but not as close as they once were.

I feel like an idiot wanting to have councilling - Apart from one or two people, I know nobody who has really done it - I guess Im a typical male in that fact :lol:

[SuzeQuze]

I doubt it. We are all very different people now. I think I need to start making new ones, and keeping my old friends as friends - but not as close as they once were.

I feel like an idiot wanting to have councilling - Apart from one or two people, I know nobody who has really done it - I guess Im a typical male in that fact :lol:

:lol: Typical :rolleyes: Just don't suffer needless because you don't have to. :xoxo:

[foxyluva]

:lol: Typical :rolleyes: Just don't suffer needless because you don't have to. :xoxo:

I suppose Its alot better than being unhappy :)

Damn medication.... :laugh:

[elie]

I have one girlfriend that I feel really happy that I know her. I have known her for 15 years and she 's about the only person that can make me laugh when I am sad..Other than that, the rest of my friends are ok, but she is the only one I feel like telling her everything. And my fiance/boyfriend is someone I could consider as my my best freind too.

On another note, I felt like sharing something here (I 'm posting it on this thread, even though it's not totally relevant). Has any of you ever felt drawn to a person with whom you have no particular relationship (I mean neither friendship nor a "love affair") but you feel like you can tell them everything and trust them and feel happy around them? I am asking because for the last couple of years I have been going through a very strange situation. There is a teacher from my University, with whom I used to talk about my professional agonies but after a while, it got a bit more personal. We never really became friends (I send him e-mails on birthdays, X-mas etc, but we don't call each other and we don't go out for dinner or anything). I meet him once in a while (which means once every one-two months or even less frequently), he's always happy to see me, once we spent two whole hours talking on the phone, he asks me about everything and we talk about everything. My relationship, his relationship with his wife etc. I have to make clear that he 's the total opposite of "cheap". He has never ever implied that he was interested in me romantically (or otherwise:rolleyes: ) but my friends find it very hard to believe . They say that it has definitely crossed his mind, that it is something that it definitely crosses a 45 year old man's mind when he 's around a young woman who shows so much interest and affection to him.However, I definitely don't get any such vibe from him and I know he is very serious and respected and the way he sees me is sort or "paternal", (or a "mentor" sort of thing) even though our age difference is not that big . But that's not even the problem.
I am so happy when I 'm with him, I trust, respect and admire him (and in Hal Hartley's world this would mean that I love him:o ) . I wish that I could tell him all that one day, how he is so special to me (although I think he knows part of it) but I 'm afraid that I might be misunderstood. I don't want him to think I 'm in love with him, it would definitely ruin it and it would not even be my point. I don't know what it is. I have so much affection for him and I feel that I can't show it, out of fear that he thinks I 'm up to something else.

He makes me happy, and when I 'm with him, I am totally aware of who I am and what I want (if that makes sense) and the fact that I can't be as close to him as I sometimes feel the need to, makes me sad and confused.
Has any of you ever experienced something similar? Can you love someone you are not really related to in any -conventional- way? Or is it just that I 'm in love with him?

I am so sorry for the long post, I really needed to talk about it :o