Things you can't believe someone said out loud to you

[amber]

Today I heard, while riding my bike to work. At a good clip.

"Whoa, look at the booty on that bike! You got a big ol' booty! I wish my face was that bike!"

Yeah. All that in the four or so seconds it took me to ride by. Isn't that lovely? P.S., I only wear a 10, and without extra weight I'm still just an 8. So, how can you tell a booty on a bike anyways?
Who's parents teach them this is cool? It's all very mysterious. It's also not an isolated incident.

[amber]

Well in a way it's also a compliment Amber :laugh:
You should and gone and whacked him with your bicycle helmet.
I don't wear one. Maybe if I did, it would help offset my apparently large and noticeable "booty". :laugh:

[BTFLCHLD]

i for one can definitely "tell" a booty on a bike...
love it when the boy cyclists race by :]

[amber]

i for one can definitely "tell" a booty on a bike...
love it when the boy cyclists race by :]
And I love your sig.

[BTFLCHLD]

And I love your sig.
isnt she hot...wish she was on the tele more...
or we had some more US dates [pout]

thanks!

[BombaySapphire3]

I was going out with an Asian guy last summer and showed a woman I work with who also happened to be Asian his picture she looked at the picture and quipped "He's cute but I bet he's got a small dick"!:lol:

[amber]

I was going out with an Asian guy last summer and showed a woman I work with who also happened to be Asian his picture she looked at the picture and quipped "He's cute but I bet he's got a small dick"!:lol:
:shocked: :lol:
Oh, man.:distress:

[mylittledemon]

I am very fair skinned and a friend once said, admist a pool-party of about 30 people..."damn Ponyboy look how white your skin is! Your d*#k must be pink!"

[snowman]

I knew eventually this site would get into pornography..:lol:

[amber]

I am very fair skinned and a friend once said, admist a pool-party of about 30 people..."damn Ponyboy look how white your skin is! Your d*#k must be pink!"
:laugh:
that qualifies. At least the person wasn't a random stranger, though.

[rhiannon948]

"Whoa, look at the booty on that bike! You got a big ol' booty! I wish my face was that bike!"



i had a similar situation happen at a club...i was with my friend who has a very nice chestal area ;) and some guy yelled, "oooh, look who brought the titties!!!!"

at least that person was probably drunk, i don't know what excuse your guy has!! :confused:

[WildInTheWind]

Well no one said this to me, but I couldn't believe that my child said this out loud to someone! When she was about.....1 1/2 we were swimming at the YMCA. THere was a rather large, ok completely obese woman in the pool, also. We swam by her and Olivia's eyes got big, she pointed her finger at her (we were RIGHT next to the woman) and said "huuuge" :eek: I was mortified. Just a couple of months ago we walked by a woman who was aslo very large and Olivia said (an pointed) "looks she's got a baby in her tummy" Once again :eek: .

[Sugar]

I was doing some community theatre and the wife of the owner of my company told me that she would come and see me act when I was in a real play.

[mylittledemon]

I was doing some community theatre and the wife of the owner of my company told me that she would come and see me act when I was in a real play.


yikes! I would have urinated all over that woman's shoes.

[SteveMacD]

When I was eleven or so, a black kid in Cincinnati called me "pink boy."

[Jyqm]

yikes! I would have urinated all over that woman's shoes.

I'm not sure which mental image I prefer, the one where the woman simply stands there in disbelief while you piss all over her new pair of heels, or the one where you have to chase her around the theater with your dick out.

[amber]

i had a similar situation happen at a club...i was with my friend who has a very nice chestal area ;) and some guy yelled, "oooh, look who brought the titties!!!!"

at least that person was probably drunk, i don't know what excuse your guy has!! :confused:
I guess his excuse is that he likes big butts and he cannot lie. And I'm sure his otherbrothers wouldn't deny...:shrug:

[GypsySorcerer]

I guess his excuse is that he likes big butts and he cannot lie. And I'm sure his otherbrothers wouldn't deny...:shrug:
You gut buns, hun. ;) :lol:

[amber]

Well no one said this to me, but I couldn't believe that my child said this out loud to someone! When she was about.....1 1/2 we were swimming at the YMCA. THere was a rather large, ok completely obese woman in the pool, also. We swam by her and Olivia's eyes got big, she pointed her finger at her (we were RIGHT next to the woman) and said "huuuge" :eek: I was mortified. Just a couple of months ago we walked by a woman who was aslo very large and Olivia said (an pointed) "looks she's got a baby in her tummy" Once again :eek: .
:lol: :lol:
aren't kids cute? :shocked:
Apparently when I was two, I told my dad's landlord that he smelled alcoholic, with a sneer, and when I was three I told one of my mom's friends the same thing. (he was diabetic, something about keytones and bad breath, I dunno).
Also, when I was two, I relayed to my grandma that "my mom says it's okay to smoke pot when I grow up, but not cigarrettes" :eek: Which she probably didn't say, at all.
Anyhoo, that's funny, except of course, big people have hard enough lives already, so that's bad. :distress: At least you were mortified...:laugh:

[amber]

You gut buns, hun. ;) :lol:
:lol:
yarp. Maybe his girlfriend doesn't have a motor in the back of her honda? :shrug:


Okay, I have to tell someone, and this is probably the best place. Tonight, on BART, on the way home from class, I saw a grown woman, who was reading a huge book and otherwise looked normal....wait....wait...






REPEATEDLY PICK HER NOSE AND EAT IT!!!!! :eek: :eek:

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate snot, and everything to do with snot, i was soooo grossed out. I almost got a piece of paper out of my bag, wadded it up, and threw it at her and yelled "quit picking your nose and eating it, you're making me sick!!!!!" But I doubted my ability to hit her with the paper ball at that distance. (although I once pegged a guy who was bending over on the head with a snowball at about 50 feet, but snowballs weigh more than paper).
She was right in my line of sight, too, I had to look all around everywhere else the whole rest of the trip. And all be darned if I didn't accidentally look at her a few minutes later and SHE WAS DOING IT AGAIN!!!
Good lord. :mad:

[Red]

One time I was at a bar with some friends having a few drinks until we ran out of cash so we just stuck to chatting and dancing. When one of the waitresses asked if I wanted another drink, I said "sorry, no can do..ran out money" and she actually repied with "well why don't you leave then?"

Being the bitch that I am I complained immediately to the manager then called the next day to place another complaint. I'm not sure if she was let go but the bar closed 2 months later. Yayyy!

[amber]

One time I was at a bar with some friends having a few drinks until we ran out of cash so we just stuck to chatting and dancing. When one of the waitresses asked if I wanted another drink, I said "sorry, no can do..ran out money" and she actually repied with "well why don't you leave then?"

Being the bitch that I am I complained immediately to the manager then called the next day to place another complaint. I'm not sure if she was let go but the bar closed 2 months later. Yayyy!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :xoxo:

Wow, if that story had ended with "and so then we got free drinks for the rest of the night" it would've been a fairy tale close to my heart. :p
By the way, I complained about a Jack in the Box manager the other day. And once before that. Soo....:shocked: :laugh:
But sesly - I said I wanted "blah" and she said "do you want *what you (I) clearly said* or 'blah some other thing that wasn't what you (I) said at all'?" And I was all "no, I want blah, just like I said" and she was all "you know what?!?!?!?! I'm refusing you service, because I can! I don't have to stand here and be humiliated by you!!!!!" and then she almost started crying? :shocked:

Hey, I used to work at a Jack in the Box. It's not that serious, get a grip. And one other time this lady yelled at me, as well. She seems a bit sensitive.

[GypsySorcerer]

:lol:
yarp. Maybe his girlfriend doesn't have a motor in the back of her honda? :shrug:


Okay, I have to tell someone, and this is probably the best place. Tonight, on BART, on the way home from class, I saw a grown woman, who was reading a huge book and otherwise looked normal....wait....wait..

REPEATEDLY PICK HER NOSE AND EAT IT!!!!! :eek: :eek:

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate snot, and everything to do with snot, i was soooo grossed out. I almost got a piece of paper out of my bag, wadded it up, and threw it at her and yelled "quit picking your nose and eating it, you're making me sick!!!!!" But I doubted my ability to hit her with the paper ball at that distance. (although I once pegged a guy who was bending over on the head with a snowball at about 50 feet, but snowballs weigh more than paper).
She was right in my line of sight, too, I had to look all around everywhere else the whole rest of the trip. And all be darned if I didn't accidentally look at her a few minutes later and SHE WAS DOING IT AGAIN!!!
Good lord. :mad:

Okay, that is the grossest thing. :eek: And to do it in public. Ewwwww.

Back to buns...:laugh:

[Red]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :xoxo:

Wow, if that story had ended with "and so then we got free drinks for the rest of the night" it would've been a fairy tale close to my heart. :p
By the way, I complained about a Jack in the Box manager the other day. And once before that. Soo....:shocked: :laugh:

Aw, that would've been much better. Although I did get satisfaction from seeing immediate fallout from bad service.

So did you get Mr. JITB fired? And what did he do to deserve it? Spill it!

[amber]

Okay, that is the grossest thing. :eek: And to do it in public. Ewwwww.

Back to buns...:laugh:
that is literally the grossest thing I've ever seen in public. Okay, people spit on the street all the time, and that is really gross, too, but apparently a bunch of people think it's okay, so I've grown *somewhat* used to it.
Buns? Seriously, my ass isn't that big, I promise. :laugh: I only wear a 10!

[amber]

Aw, that would've been much better. Although I did get satisfaction from seeing immediate fallout from bad service.

So did you get Mr. JITB fired? And what did he do to deserve it? Spill it!
Oh, it's an AFA lady, not a guy, and this just happened last week, so I don't know if I got her fired. Actually, the big JITB corp wants to talk to me about it by phone. Last time I complained I got free coupon thingy. So whatever. I dunno about firing her, that would suck. Although I am kinda scared to go there, now.

[Red]

Oh, it's an AFA lady, not a guy, and this just happened last week, so I don't know if I got her fired. Actually, the big JITB corp wants to talk to me about it by phone. Last time I complained I got free coupon thingy. So whatever. I dunno about firing her, that would suck. Although I am kinda scared to go there, now.


If its not fire worthy, then let the JITB corp know. I once had a mailman stalk me, but I didn't think he was a big threat so I didn't want to phone his work otherwise they would probably let him go. The sitch ended up diffusing itself anyway.

But then again if its a fire worthy incident, then FIRE AWAY!

Oh and back to the topic of things you can't believe somebody said out loud...

I was on a first date with a guy and we were at a resteraunt and at one point he looked out the window at a couple with their child and wistfully said "I just can't wait to be a dad someday" and sighed. Ewwwww.

[amber]

If its not fire worthy, then let the JITB corp know. I once had a mailman stalk me, but I didn't think he was a big threat so I didn't want to phone his work otherwise they would probably let him go. The sitch ended up diffusing itself anyway.

But then again if its a fire worthy incident, then FIRE AWAY!

Oh and back to the topic of things you can't believe somebody said out loud...

I was on a first date with a guy and we were at a resteraunt and at one point he looked out the window at a couple with their child and wistfully said "I just can't wait to be a dad someday" and sighed. Ewwwww.
:lol: :lol:
Omigod, you're killing me! See, most other people would think that what the guy said was "so sweet" and that obviously this guy was "kind and giving". But I, like you, would be at least mildly repulsed and frightened by that. :laugh: Must be the aquarian in me.
Oh, and...I would still feel really bad if the person got fired. Life is hard, here. In some kind of fantasy world, I'd just want her to have a pic of me with the caption "don't be rude to this girl, or else we will fire you!" :laugh: Besides, one time she was nice. We also have to acknowledge the fact that I shouldn't be eating at Jack in the Box that much anyway...:laugh:

[golden braid]

[QUOTE=amber
REPEATEDLY PICK HER NOSE AND EAT IT!!!!! :eek: :eek: [/QUOTE]

EEEEWWWWW! That's soo gross! :laugh:

I don't understand how people can do that in public. If you have to do it at least wait until you're alone in the bathroom. uggh.

[estranged4life]

One time I was in a toy section at a retailer looking at the Nascar diecasts (Which I was collecting at the time) when the following happened:

Nosey dude: "Are you a F.A.G.?"

Me: "What the f**k...???"

Nosey dude: "I just wanted to know if you a F.A.G...."

Me: "Hell no...I am married and straight..."

Nosey dude: "I didn't mean F.A.G. in a sexual way, I saw you made a sickening look on your face when you saw all those Jeff Gordon cars and wondered if you're a F.A.G....Fans Against Gordon, Which is an online community, Thought you'd might have been a member"

Me: "Oh...Yeah, I guess you could say I am the biggest F.A.G. there is then..."

No sooner then I said that the Toy Dept. manager walked by and gave me the strangest look...Oh well, just my luck it seems...Still a funny moment though!

[amber]

EEEEWWWWW! That's soo gross! :laugh:

I don't understand how people can do that in public. If you have to do it at least wait until you're alone in the bathroom. uggh.

I know! It seemed like some weird unconscious habit. Like, she looked like a semi nerdy girl, with her big book and glasses and stuff, who is maybe used to being by herself and has her little reading ritual, which is apparently to pick her nose and eat it while she reads. :shocked:

It was funny, cause when I first looked, she was just digging for gold, way up in there, and I was grossed out. But then, sad for me, I lingered my eyes a bit too long and saw the eatage.

Hey, you know, I like to lay in bed and eat cheetos while I read. I thought that was bad. But no. It's not, not compared to this. :laugh:
Oh, by the way, you've seen my bun - it's not that huge, right???:laugh: It's not that noteworthy....lol.

[sparky]

This wasn't said to me, but it was classic.
A friend of mine told me she was once introduced to this woman, and the first thing that the woman said to her was, "Hi, my name is Janet and I haven't had sex in 9 years."
:eek:

WTF ?

[Red]

:lol: :lol:
Omigod, you're killing me! See, most other people would think that what the guy said was "so sweet" and that obviously this guy was "kind and giving". But I, like you, would be at least mildly repulsed and frightened by that. :laugh: Must be the aquarian in me.
Oh, and...I would still feel really bad if the person got fired. Life is hard, here. In some kind of fantasy world, I'd just want her to have a pic of me with the caption "don't be rude to this girl, or else we will fire you!" :laugh: Besides, one time she was nice. We also have to acknowledge the fact that I shouldn't be eating at Jack in the Box that much anyway...:laugh:

Hey, I'm an Aquarian too!

Well then you're going to looooove this:
I had this boyfriend who was kind of a pussy and we were cuddling on the couch with him behind me, my back against his chest. He puts his arms around me, hands on my stomache and says....get this...."I can't wait until you're pregnant with my child".

UGH!!! JESUS CHRIST!!! The relationship ended shortly thereafter.

[estranged4life]

A friend of mine told me she was once introduced to this woman, and the first thing that the woman said to her was, "Hi, my name is Janet and I haven't had sex in 9 years."
:eek:

WTF ?

here's some batteries, go buy yourself a vibrator...

[amber]

One time I was in a toy section at a retailer looking at the Nascar diecasts (Which I was collecting at the time) when the following happened:

Nosey dude: "Are you a F.A.G.?"

Me: "What the f**k...???"

Nosey dude: "I just wanted to know if you a F.A.G...."

Me: "Hell no...I am married and straight..."

Nosey dude: "I didn't mean F.A.G. in a sexual way, I saw you made a sickening look on your face when you saw all those Jeff Gordon cars and wondered if you're a F.A.G....Fans Against Gordon, Which is an online community, Thought you'd might have been a member"

Me: "Oh...Yeah, I guess you could say I am the biggest F.A.G. there is then..."

No sooner then I said that the Toy Dept. manager walked by and gave me the strangest look...Oh well, just my luck it seems...Still a funny moment though!

:shocked: :laugh: that whole thing is really weird, Brian. But funny. :lol: But also kind of cool in a way, b/c there is a whole weird geek lingo for fans against Brian Gordon, which I have no idea about, but I'm still stoked when there's some weird inside lingo for something I like/hate :) It's like if a stranger came up to me and said "hey, are you listening to SDMHA?"

[amber]

Hey, I'm an Aquarian too!

Well then you're going to looooove this:
I had this boyfriend who was kind of a pussy and we were cuddling on the couch with him behind me, my back against his chest. He puts his arms around me, hands on my stomache and says....get this...."I can't wait until you're pregnant with my child".

UGH!!! JESUS CHRIST!!! The relationship ended shortly thereafter.
No, no, I'm not an aquarius, but I have rising aquarius, and am just kind of that way. I like some smooshy, cause I am a Cancer, but too much smooshy (or, honestly, even a little more than a little bit, and especially about children) makes me want to hurl and/or punch someone. I only like smooshy about sex stuff, really.
Oh, and...OMIGOD!!!! Blargh!!!! HELP!!! AHHHH! :lol: That's really sweet and everything, but I would've had to barf, and then take double my birth control. And then break up with that person. :woohoo: Good lawd, I thought those men who intimated marriage to me when I was in my twenties were bad. :rolleyes:
But don't feel bad, we've all had those "kind of pussy" boyfriends.

[amber]

This wasn't said to me, but it was classic.
A friend of mine told me she was once introduced to this woman, and the first thing that the woman said to her was, "Hi, my name is Janet and I haven't had sex in 9 years."
:eek:

WTF ?
:eek:
Did she teach "how to be a scary bitch 101"?
Good lord, I love these stories, b/c whenever I think I'm hella crazy and ill advised, I can look back and say "No. I'm not crazy. This is crazy." :laugh:

[Red]

No, no, I'm not an aquarius, but I have rising aquarius, and am just kind of that way. I like some smooshy, cause I am a Cancer, but too much smooshy (or, honestly, even a little more than a little bit, and especially about children) makes me want to hurl and/or punch someone. I only like smooshy about sex stuff, really.
Oh, and...OMIGOD!!!! Blargh!!!! HELP!!! AHHHH! :lol: That's really sweet and everything, but I would've had to barf, and then take double my birth control. And then break up with that person. :woohoo: Good lawd, I thought those men who intimated marriage to me when I was in my twenties were bad. :rolleyes:
But don't feel bad, we've all had those "kind of pussy" boyfriends.

Eeee-yeah, he really wasn't a "kind of pussy". He was a mega-uber-douchebag-pussy. He cried, like ALL the time, over absolutely nothing. And not a single teardop, I'm talkin' full on sobbing, heaving, lip-quivering bawl fests. Seriously, I have never seen anything so disgusting in my entire life. I spent half that relationship in a constant state of dry heave. :distress:

[amber]

Eeee-yeah, he really wasn't a "kind of pussy". He was a mega-uber-douchebag-pussy. He cried, like ALL the time, over absolutely nothing. And not a single teardop, I'm talkin' full on sobbing, heaving, lip-quivering bawl fests. Seriously, I have never seen anything so disgusting in my entire life. I spent half that relationship in a constant state of dry heave. :distress:
Dude. DUDE!!! Gross. Out. :shocked: :mad: I've started random arguments with BF's just cause they were being pussys. I couldn't take it. Not saying that's right, just saying. It's fine, if someone cries sometimes, it's good, they have feelings and all that. But lets not be a constant acquiescent pussy, mmkay? :laugh:
*note, I think it's fine if someone cries and stuff. No big, I cry a lot. Not usually in front of people, cause I'm kind enough to spare them. But lets not get carried away, okay?*

[Red]

Dude. DUDE!!! Gross. Out. :shocked: :mad: I've started random arguments with BF's just cause they were being pussys. I couldn't take it. Not saying that's right, just saying. It's fine, if someone cries sometimes, it's good, they have feelings and all that. But lets not be a constant acquiescent pussy, mmkay? :laugh:
*note, I think it's fine if someone cries and stuff. No big, I cry a lot. Not usually in front of people, cause I'm kind enough to spare them. But lets not get carried away, okay?*

Nope, sorry, I'm old school. A man can cry if:

1. Someone close to him has died.
2. He gets kicked in the beanbag really hard.
3. The love of his life leaves him for his best friend. Or brother.

Alright, I'm being a little severe, but don't tell me you don't lose your wide-on if a guy is overly emotional. Blech.

Anyway, I'm tired and off to bed to dream about manly men. G'night!

[amber]

Nope, sorry, I'm old school. A man can cry if:

1. Someone close to him has died.
2. He gets kicked in the beanbag really hard.
3. The love of his life leaves him for his best friend. Or brother.

Alright, I'm being a little severe, but don't tell me you don't lose your wide-on if a guy is overly emotional. Blech.

Anyway, I'm tired and off to bed to dream about manly men. G'night!
Well, that's pretty much what I just said. Also, I would have to make one allowance for "random". Like, if none of those other things that you said happened, the guy is allowed one random cry.
Goodnight!

[sara1998]

OK.... after my husband died, my supervisor told me that " I was probably much better off financially..." WTF??

[skcin]

OK.... after my husband died, my supervisor told me that " I was probably much better off financially..." WTF??

GOOD GOD?!?! :shocked: Seriously? What did you say? What an asshole!


There's a doctor I work with who's constantly saying rude stuff & I don't know if she doesn't realize it or doesn't care.

To a nurse practitioner: "well, you wouldn't know since you're not a doctor"

While we were out at dinner:
Friend: "Hahaha, yeah, I told him 'you must have been drinking to think I looked good that night.'" laughing...
Doctor, completely serious : "Yeah, they must have been reeeaaaally drunk to think that."

My next door neighbor is constantly saying stupid things, usually racist.

"Yeah, it was that one reporter on channel 7. You know, the colored guy." :shocked: BTW, I have repeatedly told her that "colored" has not been an appropriate term since at least the 60's. She continues to say it. I hope someone slaps her one day.

"We know a colored guy, he lives in Marilla {which is a very rural area}. I give him a lot of credit." Huh? Why?

I've also had people point out to me "wow, your face is really breaking out lately." Thanks, I had no idea. :rolleyes:

[JazmenFlowers]

Well, I was in the mall once with my brother and a group of guys walked by and said as loud as they could "How does it feel to be gay, fudgepacker?" You know the group. The ones where there's a jock (A&F type), a kind of nerdy I don't really fit in kind of guy and two or three hangers on. And I know in the right place, right time, they'd all want to find out.

Imagine the complete and total loss of blood in my body at that moment. I wanted to die. I should've said something smartass, which is typically what I do. Instead, I just shook my head and we went on our way, but talk about an awkward moment for me and my brother. It totally ruined the entire day. I wanted to do nothing else but go home alone and lay in the bed.

[SuzeQuze]

I guess his excuse is that he likes big butts and he cannot lie. And I'm sure his otherbrothers wouldn't deny...:shrug:

My little cousin once said, "Mommy, auntie Susan wears big pants!" about my mother. :laugh:

[SuzeQuze]

:lol: :lol:
Omigod, you're killing me! See, most other people would think that what the guy said was "so sweet" and that obviously this guy was "kind and giving". But I, like you, would be at least mildly repulsed and frightened by that. :laugh: Must be the aquarian in me.
Oh, and...I would still feel really bad if the person got fired. Life is hard, here. In some kind of fantasy world, I'd just want her to have a pic of me with the caption "don't be rude to this girl, or else we will fire you!" :laugh: Besides, one time she was nice. We also have to acknowledge the fact that I shouldn't be eating at Jack in the Box that much anyway...:laugh:

I did have someone fired once, there was this creepy cleaning guy who would stare and stare and kept walking by my cube over and over. I had to report him. :shocked:

[SuzeQuze]

OK.... after my husband died, my supervisor told me that " I was probably much better off financially..." WTF??

WHAT??? Idiot. He's lucky you didn't projectile vomit in his face!

[SuzeQuze]

Well, I was in the mall once with my brother and a group of guys walked by and said as loud as they could "How does it feel to be gay, fudgepacker?" You know the group. The ones where there's a jock (A&F type), a kind of nerdy I don't really fit in kind of guy and two or three hangers on. And I know in the right place, right time, they'd all want to find out.

Imagine the complete and total loss of blood in my body at that moment. I wanted to die. I should've said something smartass, which is typically what I do. Instead, I just shook my head and we went on our way, but talk about an awkward moment for me and my brother. It totally ruined the entire day. I wanted to do nothing else but go home alone and lay in the bed.

Aww, some people are such idiots. It is interesting how he phrased is bashing though, isn't it? Methinks thou dost protest too much.

[ragandbone]

An 11 year old walking towards me, on the street in Oakland said, "Hey mama, mmmm, your lookin' good!" He looked serious, it freaked me out, and then it cracked me up.


Here are two first date stories involving out-loud statements:

I went on a date with a guy who was really trying to impress me with his BMW bike, and, I don't know, his costly leathers. Anyway, we went to see the movie Ghost, and I was sort of rolling my eyes at the predictable good white man go to heaven/ bad man with an accent go to hell thing. So when a "bad man" died, I was ready for the wraithlike devil dogs to come and get him, and I meant to say "hounds of hell", but I said "Ok, here come the dogs of hell", and the wiener (I mean, date) turned to me and said "Um, I believe the correct term is hounds of hell"
ding. Date Over.

Around the same time I went out with a Swiss guy who was super nice, but super exuberant, and a little arrogant like the "wild and crazy guys" from Saturday Night Live. On the day of our first real date, we were in the school computer lab [insert sound of many people typing] the Swiss guy turned to me and said, grinning, "Let's have sex tonight! Would you like that?" [All typing ceases in computer lab]

[amber]

An 11 year old walking towards me, on the street in Oakland said, "Hey mama, mmmm, your lookin' good!" He looked serious, it freaked me out, and then it cracked me up.


Here are two first date stories involving out-loud statements:

I went on a date with a guy who was really trying to impress me with his BMW bike, and, I don't know, his costly leathers. Anyway, we went to see the movie Ghost, and I was sort of rolling my eyes at the predictable good white man go to heaven/ bad man with an accent go to hell thing. So when a "bad man" died, I was ready for the wraithlike devil dogs to come and get him, and I meant to say "hounds of hell", but I said "Ok, here come the dogs of hell", and the wiener (I mean, date) turned to me and said "Um, I believe the correct term is hounds of hell"
ding. Date Over.

Around the same time I went out with a Swiss guy who was super nice, but super exuberant, and a little arrogant like the "wild and crazy guys" from Saturday Night Live. On the day of our first real date, we were in the school computer lab [insert sound of many people typing] the Swiss guy turned to me and said, grinning, "Let's have sex tonight! Would you like that?" [All typing ceases in computer lab]

:lol: :lol:
Yours rock. And, your Oakland 11 year old experience went nicely with my current Oakland "I wish that bike was my face" experience that prompted me to start this thread.
Swedish guy is the best.

[SuzeQuze]

:lol: :lol:
Yours rock. And, your Oakland 11 year old experience went nicely with my current Oakland "I wish that bike was my face" experience that prompted me to start this thread.
Swedish guy is the best.

Yeah, Swedish guy is the winner so far. Here's something I just came acrross in this text book I'm working on:

To use a style of software development called POOP (procedural object-oriented programming) instead of OOP, one can define all methods as static and then pass needed information in through parameters.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[cliffdweller]

i had a similar situation happen at a club...i was with my friend who has a very nice chestal area ;) and some guy yelled, "oooh, look who brought the titties!!!!"

That's not even clever!! :laugh: That guy made no attempt but to be an idiot.

[cliffdweller]

Also, when I was two, I relayed to my grandma that "my mom says it's okay to smoke pot when I grow up, but not cigarrettes" :eek:

And your problem is? :shrug::laugh:

[ragandbone]

:lol: :lol:
Yours rock. And, your Oakland 11 year old experience went nicely with my current Oakland "I wish that bike was my face" experience that prompted me to start this thread.
Swedish guy is the best.
Thanks - I meant to point out that your post made me think of the Oakland incident. Also, I think the bike/butt comment was a compliment, albeit an unwelcome one.

[ragandbone]

Yeah, Swedish guy is the winner so far. Here's something I just came acrross in this text book I'm working on:

To use a style of software development called POOP (procedural object-oriented programming) instead of OOP, one can define all methods as static and then pass needed information in through parameters.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
:laugh: That's awesome!
We have been doing some "procedural object-oriented programming" here in my house recently, called "toilet training". My son's got the procedure down, but doesn't quite get orienting the object yet.

[BTFLCHLD]

the only circumstance i can recall is a crudy one
my bro had not long before broke his neck
we were walking downtown tempe
his walking was impeded with a limp
a bum approached us and rammed my bros
shoulder and said "what are you, drunk?"
every part of my being wanted to kill him

[DavidMn]

I was going out with an Asian guy last summer and showed a woman I work with who also happened to be Asian his picture she looked at the picture and quipped "He's cute but I bet he's got a small dick"!:lol:OH HELL NO!!!!:laugh: :laugh:

[sara1998]

GOOD GOD?!?! :shocked: Seriously? What did you say? What an asshole!
WHAT??? Idiot. He's lucky you didn't projectile vomit in his face!

Believe it or not, it's a she. First woman I've ever worked for, and I'm not sure I'd want to work for another one. I was in the middle of my grief, I mean, it wasn't even a year after he died. I was pretty much zombie like during the first year, and I wasn't preforming up to par at work (hard to believe- I know:rolleyes: ) Anyhow, we were in a preformance review, and we were talking about how this had affected me ... then she said it. I mean, what do you say back?? I remember telling her that I hope she had supportive people around her if she was ever widowed. That's all I remember. Ya, she's a real troll. She thinks I've got all this damn money, and I think she hates me for it.

[DavidMn]

Once when I was like 5, I was at the post office with my grandma and this heavy lady came in behind us and I held the door for her and she said what a sweet boy. I looked at my grandma and said "Grandma, she's kinda fat." my grandma said to shut up, and I said "well then she shouldnt eat so much." The poor lady I was talking about wasn't very heppy to say the least...

[SuzeQuze]

Believe it or not, it's a she. First woman I've ever worked for, and I'm not sure I'd want to work for another one. I was in the middle of my grief, I mean, it wasn't even a year after he died. I was pretty much zombie like during the first year, and I wasn't preforming up to par at work (hard to believe- I know:rolleyes: ) Anyhow, we were in a preformance review, and we were talking about how this had affected me ... then she said it. I mean, what do you say back?? I remember telling her that I hope she had supportive people around her if she was ever widowed. That's all I remember. Ya, she's a real troll. She thinks I've got all this damn money, and I think she hates me for it.

I guess there is no "appropriate response" to a comment that insensitive and inane. I mean, having a little cushion is a small consolation after losing your husband. :distress: I have found female bosses to be difficult in my experience. I don't know why but they seem to dislike me right off the bat. :shrug:

[sara1998]

I have found female bosses to be difficult in my experience. I don't know why but they seem to dislike me right off the bat. :shrug:
It's because your cute, and those mean, ugly b*tches can't handle it!! :laugh: My boss tells me all the time that I need to cut off my hair. (it's pretty long) When she found out it was naturally curly, she looked me dead in the eye and said "I hate you." How 'bout that??

[DavidMn]

It's because your cute, and those mean, ugly b*tches can't handle it!! :laugh: My boss tells me all the time that I need to cut off my hair. (it's pretty long) When she found out it was naturally curly, she looked me dead in the eye and said "I hate you." How 'bout that??That's a real problem to me. WAYYYY over the lline.:mad:

[ragandbone]

Believe it or not, it's a she. First woman I've ever worked for, and I'm not sure I'd want to work for another one. I was in the middle of my grief, I mean, it wasn't even a year after he died. I was pretty much zombie like during the first year, and I wasn't preforming up to par at work (hard to believe- I know:rolleyes: ) Anyhow, we were in a preformance review, and we were talking about how this had affected me ... then she said it. I mean, what do you say back?? I remember telling her that I hope she had supportive people around her if she was ever widowed. That's all I remember. Ya, she's a real troll. She thinks I've got all this damn money, and I think she hates me for it.
She's still an AHole! or, an Atroll.
What an awful, and insensitive thing to say!

[Chris#1fan]

Well, I was in the mall once with my brother and a group of guys walked by and said as loud as they could "How does it feel to be gay, fudgepacker?" You know the group. The ones where there's a jock (A&F type), a kind of nerdy I don't really fit in kind of guy and two or three hangers on. And I know in the right place, right time, they'd all want to find out.

Imagine the complete and total loss of blood in my body at that moment. I wanted to die. I should've said something smartass, which is typically what I do. Instead, I just shook my head and we went on our way, but talk about an awkward moment for me and my brother. It totally ruined the entire day. I wanted to do nothing else but go home alone and lay in the bed.

I'm very sorry that you encountered this idiots. It also reminds me of what happened to a 38 year old, heterosexual black male named Willie Houston on July 29, 2001. Willie Houston was a bus driver and he drove a bus for elderly and handicapped people. The bus that he drove was probably where Willie Houston met a blind man named Victor Holt. Victor Holt's wife is named Valerie and Willie Houston's female fiancee at the time is Nedra Jones. All four of them were celebrating Willie Houston and Nedra Jones's engagement by going to a midnight cruise on the General Jackson River Showboat. Houston and Jones would have been married only two weeks later but the marriage never happened because they encountered a violent anti-gay criminal named Lewis Maynard Davidson III. Davidson had prior criminal convictions for drug , assault, and weapon offences.

After the midnight cruise on the boat was over, Willie Houston, Nedra Jones, and the Holt couple were in the parking lot. The two women had to go to the women's restroom that is near the parking lot and Nedra Jones didn't want to carry her purse into the restroom. Nedra Jones asked Willie Houston to hold her purse for her and he agreed to do this. After the two women went into the restroom, Victor Holt needed to to the men's restroom and he asked Willie Houston to assist him because the restroom was an unfamilar place for Victor Holt. Please remember that Victor Holt is a blind man. Willie Houston started guiding the blind man into the restroom and that is where the two men encountered the violent criminal Lewis Maynard Davidson III. Davidson falsely assumed that the two men were gay and became extremely angry at them. He wouldn't stop yelling anti-gay slurs at the two heterosexual men even when they explained to him that the purse belonged to Willie Houston's female fiancee Nedra Jones and that Victor Holt was blind. Davidson continued to yell at them when the two men were leaving the restroom and the argument continued in the parking lot. By this time, both of the women had left the women's restroom and they were also trying to get Davidson to calm down and be quiet. Davidson still refused to calm down, threatened them and then he went to his car to get something. He came back with a gun and shot Willie Houston in the chest and killed him.

Davidson was caught in Ohio more than two months after he murdered Willie Houston. He was convicted of first degree murder and he lost his appeal of his criminal conviction. He won't be eligible for parole until the 2062. I really wish that an inmate will kill this obnoxious bum even though I don't know any of the people that I have written about. In fact, I have never even met any of these people but genetic blinding eye diseases run on both sides of my family. At the time Willie Houston was murdered, my blind paternal grandfather was still alive and I wondered if an obnoxious violent bum would attack anyone in my family. Every single time that my dad took my grandfather out into a public place, my dad would have to guide him. My grandfather died of natural causes on March 10, 2003 and he lived to be 100 years, eleven months and twelve days old. Even to this day, I still get very angry whenever I think about Willie Houston being murdered.

[SuzeQuze]

It's because your cute, and those mean, ugly b*tches can't handle it!! :laugh: My boss tells me all the time that I need to cut off my hair. (it's pretty long) When she found out it was naturally curly, she looked me dead in the eye and said "I hate you." How 'bout that??

Yeah, I'm smart too. ;) I hate your boss. :lol: Seriously, who says that to an employee? :rolleyes:

My current boss is just really odd. She has a good heart though which goes a long way. She's just very awkward socially. Plus I need to get her to the "What not to Wear" people. But that is a story for another day. :laugh:

Tell your boss she needs to do something about that troll nose. Okay not really!

[JazmenFlowers]

I'm very sorry that you encountered this idiots. It also reminds me of what happened to a 38 year old, heterosexual black male named Willie Houston on July 29, 2001. Willie Houston was a bus driver and he drove a bus for elderly and handicapped people. The bus that he drove was probably where Willie Houston met a blind man named Victor Holt. Victor Holt's wife is named Valerie and Willie Houston's female fiancee at the time is Nedra Jones. All four of them were celebrating Willie Houston and Nedra Jones's engagement by going to a midnight cruise on the General Jackson River Showboat. Houston and Jones would have been married only two weeks later but the marriage never happened because they encountered a violent anti-gay criminal named Lewis Maynard Davidson III. Davidson had prior criminal convictions for drug , assault, and weapon offences.

After the midnight cruise on the boat was over, Willie Houston, Nedra Jones, and the Holt couple were in the parking lot. The two women had to go to the women's restroom that is near the parking lot and Nedra Jones didn't want to carry her purse into the restroom. Nedra Jones asked Willie Houston to hold her purse for her and he agreed to do this. After the two women went into the restroom, Victor Holt needed to to the men's restroom and he asked Willie Houston to assist him because the restroom was an unfamilar place for Victor Holt. Please remember that Victor Holt is a blind man. Willie Houston started guiding the blind man into the restroom and that is where the two men encountered the violent criminal Lewis Maynard Davidson III. Davidson falsely assumed that the two men were gay and became extremely angry at them. He wouldn't stop yelling anti-gay slurs at the two heterosexual men even when they explained to him that the purse belonged to Willie Houston's female fiancee Nedra Jones and that Victor Holt was blind. Davidson continued to yell at them when the two men were leaving the restroom and the argument continued in the parking lot. By this time, both of the women had left the women's restroom and they were also trying to get Davidson to calm down and be quiet. Davidson still refused to calm down, threatened them and then he went to his car to get something. He came back with a gun and shot Willie Houston in the chest and killed him.

Davidson was caught in Ohio more than two months after he murdered Willie Houston. He was convicted of first degree murder and he lost his appeal of his criminal conviction. He won't be eligible for parole until the 2062. I really wish that an inmate will kill this obnoxious bum even though I don't know any of the people that I have written about. In fact, I have never even met any of these people but genetic blinding eye diseases run on both sides of my family. At the time Willie Houston was murdered, my blind paternal grandfather was still alive and I wondered if an obnoxious violent bum would attack anyone in my family. Every single time that my dad took my grandfather out into a public place, my dad would have to guide him. My grandfather died of natural causes on March 10, 2003 and he lived to be 100 years, eleven months and twelve days old. Even to this day, I still get very angry whenever I think about Willie Houston being murdered.

That is such a sad story. I wonder sometimes about the fact that something like that could've and still could happen to me. Hearing stories about people like Gwen Araju (sorry for murdering her last name) and others scares the crap out of me, but like Mama always told me "you can't be afraid of living cause you'll miss life"

[SuzeQuze]

I remembered one. I was walking up our 3 floor staircase and my roommate's friend was behind me and said in all seriousness, "The good thing is these stairs will shrink that ass." It was a moment!

[paleshadow]

A girl I used to work with once told me that when she was little, she didn't eat ravioli because she thought the meat was hiding on her.

[annaconda69]

Here's a few I've heard at work the past few years.... I'm in European Men's & Women's shoes....:

From my boss a couple of weeks after I'd told him my father had been in hospital due to the flu & kidney failure & upon his passing away earlier this year:
First: "I didn't know he was alive." Like, dude, when we're having our little chat about him being in hospital, didn't that give you a clue or were you just hearin' blah, blah, blah, Daisy??....
Second after asking for time off to help my brother figure out where to hold services for Dad: "Well, you can do that over the phone, can't you?"
I let him slide 'cause he has this unconsious urge to open mouth & insert foot sometimes....

From countless clients: Do you have shoes not made in China? {{{I'm part Chinese & yeah, I look it, lol}}} I've actually heard varying forms of this one all my life.

From a little two year old boy whispereing a secret to tell me to his Mommy just this week: Sometimes I sleep naked.:lol:

[BTFLCHLD]

its not what they said its what they typed








warning...mighty scary visuals ahead :eek:




youve been warned! :sorry:







Legs up.

[Brwn_eyes0511]

its not what they said its what they typed








warning...mighty scary visuals ahead :eek:




youve been warned! :sorry:

I KNEW you were going to post it in this thread! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

BRAVO! That is rock star right there.