Holiday Blues

[MoonChilde]

Is anyone else having a hard time getting into the christmas holiday spirit?? Sorry for being such a downer ,but I am having a really hard time feeling any ho ho ho jolly stuff this year..Mind you christmas has never been the great celebration time for me..(long story )and I seem to get depressed this time of year for ages now..But this year it seems to be hitting me extra hard..I think I am going to volunteer at a soup kitchen or something worthwhile this year..Hopefully it will put me in a better frame of mind..But I just want to go hide until the end of january..Does anyone else get like this and please share what you do ,to get through it all..

[wondergirl9847]

I think you have a good idea, to volunteer. Also, I started a tradition last year to get a name from the Salvation Army Angel Tree. It's fun to pick a name and go find gifts for that little boy or girl. :) It makes you feel good.

Last year, I was in a funk, didn't really decorate like I usually do. This year, I hope it hits me hard. Wait until Thanksgiving is over and see how you feel, maybe. It's difficult to get into the holiday spirit when those around you are all bah-humbug. My mom is like that, and I wish she wasn't. :( Also, perhaps making gifts for people instead of buying them. I'm doing that this year for a couple of people.

This year will be difficult since we lost my cousin in August. We'll be there for each other to get through the sadness of it though.

Good luck on losing the funk.

[SuzeQuze]

Yeah, Christmas and the rest get me down. I can't do any of the traditional things I did because my parents split and I'm no longer with a person I spetn 8 years with. I feel displaced. I'm having Thanksgiving at my Mom's boyfriend's sister's house. Wahoo. :rolleyes:

I think giving really is the way to get out of it. It isn't easy for me though. I just sort of hold on tight until I get through it.

[MoonChilde]

Thanks !! Your right .helping some one does make you feel so much better.and I am going to go to town today and see what I can do to make a difference..I am just having such a really hard time ,,I dont; even want to decorate..and I love doing that..usually..Last year we did not celebrate xmas as there was a death in the family too..and this year we decided we are not going to exchange gifts..which is ok with me..as I am still paying my daughters wedding off..lol..but I don;t know..I can;t seem to shake this gloom..ARGHH..I;m usually the upbeat get everyone in happy mood person..lol..I just want to SCREAM>>>lol ...Hopefully I can shake it off soon.

[Livia]

Like Kyle, "I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew, at Chriiiiistmas...."

But as for the season, sometimes I really get into it and sometimes not...It hasn't hit me yet this year, which way I'll end up going...

Jews usually spend Xmas day going out for Chinese food and to the movies. At least that's what my family always did...

[MoonChilde]

Yeah, Christmas and the rest get me down. I can't do any of the traditional things I did because my parents split and I'm no longer with a person I spetn 8 years with. I feel displaced. I'm having Thanksgiving at my Mom's boyfriend's sister's house. Wahoo. :rolleyes:

I think giving really is the way to get out of it. It isn't easy for me though. I just sort of hold on tight until I get through it.

I hear you..I feel really really diplaced.I live in a really small village and don;t speak the language ..My husband are the only english..We are trying to get the h@@ out of here.have house up for sale the whole bit..But it could take a while..all my family live in the states and I guess being so far from everyone really gets to me this time of year..Over the years I have made new traditions with new people and it has seen me through..but this year is turning out to be a killer..Hang in there you just might enjoy your dinner at mom's boyfriends sister house..

[cliffdweller]

Jews usually spend Xmas day going out for Chinese food and to the movies. At least that's what my family always did...

I wish I could do that :rolleyes: but unfortuantely I always get wrangled in by family to do "family holiday things" blech. And the suckier thing is, the week of Christmas (between Christmas and New Years) is the only time Zach has off from school and teaching between semesters and instead of taking a vacation (which is what I would RATHER do) we have to spend it with stinky old family :laugh:.

[SuzeQuze]

I hear you..I feel really really diplaced.I live in a really small village and don;t speak the language ..My husband are the only english..We are trying to get the h@@ out of here.have house up for sale the whole bit..But it could take a while..all my family live in the states and I guess being so far from everyone really gets to me this time of year..Over the years I have made new traditions with new people and it has seen me through..but this year is turning out to be a killer..Hang in there you just might enjoy your dinner at mom's boyfriends sister house..

Thank you. After I wrote that and sent it I was thinking how great it was that my mother is here to spend it with. Maybe I am already having an attitude adjustment.

I can see why you are down. That would be rough for me, probably for anyone. Keep trying to do things you enjoy and do give, I think that will help. Even if its just cards! I'm psyched I got my cards last year half off after Christmas. Wait a minute? Psyched? Hehe, I think this thread is working.

[SuzeQuze]

Like Kyle, "I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew, at Chriiiiistmas...."

But as for the season, sometimes I really get into it and sometimes not...It hasn't hit me yet this year, which way I'll end up going...

Jews usually spend Xmas day going out for Chinese food and to the movies. At least that's what my family always did...

My Jewish friends go skiing on Christmas. They love it because nobody's there. I would love to do that.

[Raeven Skye]

"The Holidays" have always been a little hard for me, but now with Dad gone, I'm not sure how I'll get thru it. This is my first year without him, and my whole life is completely different. He was in the hospital last year at this time, and while "not here" was still here, you know? We held everything for him, but he never came home. There are still unopened gifts at my Mom's house. I wish I had an answer on how to make it better, but I'm still unsure myself. I suppose (like everything else), I'll hit it head on, and see what happens. Maybe the fear of it is worse than the reality. And I apologize if i've been talking about Dad a lot lately...I guess this is the time of year when all the heavy reminders come....

[GypsySorcerer]

I really enjoy the time leading up to Christmas, but I don't enjoy Christmas Day itself. The family dinner annoys me. Blech.

[Richard B]

Jews usually spend Xmas day going out for Chinese food and to the movies. At least that's what my family always did...
And laughing about that damn dreidel song which non-jews think is so amusing.

[HomerMcvie]

Is anyone else having a hard time getting into the christmas holiday spirit?? Sorry for being such a downer ,but I am having a really hard time feeling any ho ho ho jolly stuff this year..Mind you christmas has never been the great celebration time for me..(long story )and I seem to get depressed this time of year for ages now..But this year it seems to be hitting me extra hard..I think I am going to volunteer at a soup kitchen or something worthwhile this year..Hopefully it will put me in a better frame of mind..But I just want to go hide until the end of january..Does anyone else get like this and please share what you do ,to get through it all..
I always get down this time of year. Another birthday:( , more holidays alone(not meaning family), dreary weather. BAH HUMBUG!!! Bring me April!!!

It is weird when you lose your parents. This will be my third Christmas without Mom. The first year, I still put up all the lights and decorations. Last year, I did NOTHING. I think this is going to be another year of nothing. Hell, my family only comes to see me in the summer. I have to go see them in the winter, so it's not like any family would see all the stuff anyway.

[Richard B]

I always get down this time of year. Another birthday:( , more holidays alone(not meaning family), dreary weather. BAH HUMBUG!!! Bring me April!!!
Awww. At least you're avatar is a reindeer. There is a little shred of spirit somewhere in you. I actually want you to enjoy yourself.

I think I need to have a Egg Nog (the real deal) party at my place. Do come by.

[estranged4life]

will be hard, but I will get by (Not in a festive mood at all.)

I will bury myself in music and trying to maintain what health I still have is all.

[SuzeQuze]

Awww. At least you're avatar is a reindeer. There is a little shred of spirit somewhere in you. I actually want you to enjoy yourself.

I think I need to have a Egg Nog (the real deal) party at my place. Do come by.

I will bring the rum. Oh snap, there I go inviting myself again!

[HomerMcvie]

Awww. At least you're avatar is a reindeer. There is a little shred of spirit somewhere in you. I actually want you to enjoy yourself.

I think I need to have a Egg Nog (the real deal) party at my place. Do come by.
I'm so there, dude!:D I'll bring some extra rum to really spike up that Nog!

[HomerMcvie]

Dammit, Suze, you beat me with the rum by a minute!:lol: :lol:

[Richard B]

Everyone is welcome at my place. Come one, come all.


I want to share something with everyone. My family, through the generations, have always had families later in life. So in my child years I had to watch my family members die, many around Christmas, some of old age and others taken way too soon. The stories I could tell you about how I have lost so many dear family members would make us all cry. But this is not what my post is about. I used to get very blue during these holiday times...but after awhile I would remember just how special these times were to my relatives and how I know, just know, that they would frown on me for being so sad and blue at a time of year, that if they were alive, they would enjoy. Not one of them would ever want me to feel bad that they were gone and that I was miserable. So with this spirit I celebrate for them all and for others I don't even know. It makes it so much easier. There is still good in the world and it is needed now more than ever.

[wondergirl9847]

Sounds like a few of us will have a difficult time with Christmas this year. :( Sorry to hear about your dad Raeven and your mom, Homer.

I would love to go somewhere else (Colorado) for Christmas at least once in my life. Where it's snowing because even though it's colder this week, I'm afraid this Christmas will be one of the warmest ever, unless this Texas weather takes a MAJOR change. Bleh. Don't know how to ski, but would love to hang out in a log cabin, by a fireplace, unwrapping gifts with my family. :)

[GypsySorcerer]

There is still good in the world and it is needed now more than ever.

Here, here.:nod:

[ontheEdgeof17]

Yeah. I'm down this year.


In school, I had friends to hang with before I left for break. Now, there's no break......hardly any friends here.....and I work on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day....not to mention the Monday after Christmas. It sucks.

I live alone. I eat alone. I sleep alone. I don't have a Tree to decorate. I thought about buying one today, but I dunno. I've just been blah.

....but no complaint....Happy days will soon come.

[Raeven Skye]

Everyone is welcome at my place. Come one, come all.


I want to share something with everyone. My family, through the generations, have always had families later in life. So in my child years I had to watch my family members die, many around Christmas, some of old age and others taken way too soon. The stories I could tell you about how I have lost so many dear family members would make us all cry. But this is not what my post is about. I used to get very blue during these holiday times...but after awhile I would remember just how special these times were to my relatives and how I know, just know, that they would frown on me for being so sad and blue at a time of year, that if they were alive, they would enjoy. Not one of them would ever want me to feel bad that they were gone and that I was miserable. So with this spirit I celebrate for them all and for others I don't even know. It makes it so much easier. There is still good in the world and it is needed now more than ever.
Thanks Richard....you make a lot of good points. My Dad loved to have fun more than anyone I know, and everytime I have a good laugh I think of him. I'm going to do my best to remember that, this season!

[stargazer99]

Everyone is welcome at my place. Come one, come all.


I want to share something with everyone. My family, through the generations, have always had families later in life. So in my child years I had to watch my family members die, many around Christmas, some of old age and others taken way too soon. The stories I could tell you about how I have lost so many dear family members would make us all cry. But this is not what my post is about. I used to get very blue during these holiday times...but after awhile I would remember just how special these times were to my relatives and how I know, just know, that they would frown on me for being so sad and blue at a time of year, that if they were alive, they would enjoy. Not one of them would ever want me to feel bad that they were gone and that I was miserable. So with this spirit I celebrate for them all and for others I don't even know. It makes it so much easier. There is still good in the world and it is needed now more than ever.

Awww... you just made me cry! I'll admit that I'm down in the dumps this holiday as well. But this is beautiful!

[SuzeQuze]

Dammit, Suze, you beat me with the rum by a minute!:lol: :lol:

:lol: Great minds. :nod:

[GypsySorcerer]

Yeah. I'm down this year.


In school, I had friends to hang with before I left for break. Now, there's no break......hardly any friends here.....and I work on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day....not to mention the Monday after Christmas. It sucks.

I live alone. I eat alone. I sleep alone. I don't have a Tree to decorate. I thought about buying one today, but I dunno. I've just been blah.

....but no complaint....Happy days will soon come.

I can relate. It's been hard to keep in touch with college friends. One is working on a cruise; others are five, eight hours away. I miss them.

I really hate going to my hometown. I don't have anything in common with the few friends who are still there, and my family annoys the **** out of me.

I'm an only child, though, so I can deal with being alone. I actually hate the going home part more than anything.

[sara1998]

Holidays have sucked for me since my hubby died. It doesn't seem too bad yet this year so far. What really sucks is Christmas morning, when Sara is opening her gifts. I miss her daddy there watching her and enjoying her joy... I miss him so bad for her. All I know is that I had my dad all my life, and she's missing what could have been so great. I don't know if she feels like that, and maybe you can't miss what you don't have. But they were close when he was alive... and he was all about her. I can't help but to hurt watching her, but at the same time, I'm so happy to be there with her.... Plus, it really sucks to buy your own Christmas presents.... I have to put something from "Santa" under the tree for me.... otherwise, Sara will want to know why Santa didn't bring me anything. Anyhow, my grandpa died earlier this year, and just yesterday, they gave my grandma 6 months. My mom is going to be a basket cast. I hurt for her, too. I guess all we can do is suck it up and accept it.

Thanks for letting me ramble.....

[DavidMn]

Is anyone else having a hard time getting into the christmas holiday spirit?? Sorry for being such a downer ,but I am having a really hard time feeling any ho ho ho jolly stuff this year..Mind you christmas has never been the great celebration time for me..(long story )and I seem to get depressed this time of year for ages now..But this year it seems to be hitting me extra hard..I think I am going to volunteer at a soup kitchen or something worthwhile this year..Hopefully it will put me in a better frame of mind..But I just want to go hide until the end of january..Does anyone else get like this and please share what you do ,to get through it all..No I hear you. It's kinda weird for me this year cause my money supply is VERY low, and I have to get alot of **** together. SO it's not that I'm not felling happy about the holiday season, its more that I have other things to think about I guess. I've been doing a lot of good things the last few weeks, so I'm happy about that. Anyway, I've never been one to get into the whole "Material Christmas" thing. I've gottne some nice things, but I can take them or leave them. My family and friends are the most important thing to me. Good luck. I hope you feel better!!!:)

[MoonChilde]

Wow..seems that we all suffer from the holiday blues in one form or another..Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and stories..I am going to try really hard to pull myself out of this funk and look around and see that there is so much to be thankful for and quit dwelling on the things I have no control over.There is so much going on in the world these days ,lets all try to make our small corner of the world a little bit more bearable..Hugs to all

[jannieC]

Christmas has been really rough for me the last few years- this year is the first year my husband is drug-free (he was in rehab last year for 6 months) so I am just so happy that he is alive and doing so remarkably well.

I think that for those of you who have lost a loved one, you have to try and create new traditions, and that is just so hard (my father died when I was 17). One suggestion is to surround yourself with people who ARE in the spirit-not obnoxiously so, just enough to maybe spark you a little. And helping in a soup kitchen is the best thing ever. You realize how lucky you are not to be homeless, hungry, etc. Some of these posts have made me so sad- I wish I could host a Ledgie Holiday Party.

[amber]

Wow..seems that we all suffer from the holiday blues in one form or another..Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and stories..I am going to try really hard to pull myself out of this funk and look around and see that there is so much to be thankful for and quit dwelling on the things I have no control over.There is so much going on in the world these days ,lets all try to make our small corner of the world a little bit more bearable..Hugs to all
Hope you feel better.:xoxo: :(

I don't really suffer from Holiday Blues, though. In fact, Xmas is my favorite Holiday. I get presents, I sing Xmas songs, and sometimes it snows a little at my parents house, and I take the dog for walks in the snow, and we follow deer tracks into the forest, and mom decorates the christmas pole (A pole she carved all these designs in) and my dad does the whole yard with really pretty lights. Then we sit around, and don't talk much. I start drooling on myself as I gorge on Cable T.V.....it's pretty cool. My mom hates xmas, so that sucks, but I ignore her or roll my eyes if she says anything like that, or I say "well, quit telling us, we don't hate it!" and it all works out.
Okay, I'll stop.

[sara1998]

Christmas has been really rough for me the last few years- this year is the first year my husband is drug-free (he was in rehab last year for 6 months) so I am just so happy that he is alive and doing so remarkably well.
Congrats to the hubby! That's wonderful news!

[Richard B]

Poor little Snowman...he's got the blues so bad.

[sparky]

For a few years I hated the holidays. And that was when my family was all still alive. Some of them didn't get along, and so when I came to town, it was MY problem to deal with. I had to run my ass all over town to spend a reasonable time with each warring faction and it made me crazy. I did that for about two years. Then I got pissed. Everyone got me for an hour. I simply said, "I only have so much time, and it isn't my fault that you don't get along with___. So, because you all hate each other and won't talk, I only have an hour for each of you. Sorry." I lied and told them I was only in town for two days. Did they change ? NO. Did my time become more enjoyable ? Absolutely.

It was kind of a bummer, but taught me quite a bit about setting boundaries in general and not eating dirt for other people's problems. It was during that time that I started to spend more of my holidays with my best friend and that family. I had tons of fun with them. And still do. I didn't consciously create a new tradition. However, I was so angry, depressed, and resentful over the fact that it was no longer a fun time of year for me, something had to be done. My best friend agreed, and so we did a little thing and now we have a blast every year. Her family drives HER nuts, but I love them. When most of my family died, they became a safety net. And as the boyfriends have come and gone, Stevie, they have remained. Don't know what I will do when God Forbid, they start dying off. Thankfully the kids are my age.

Also, I toss a party every year. I have even done it when I couldn't afford it. It is mostly for people who work for me and with me, but others come too. Sometimes, it is the only time I see people who used to be a part of my everyday life. I miss all of them, but don't always work with them, so that has become something I look forward to in a big bad way. And they all love it too.

Anyway, that is what I do. I feel for anyone who has a sad time during this part of the year. I send a big :xoxo: to all of you. But, I am living proof that you can transform it and reclaim it.

One year, I joined two book clubs and two record clubs in November because I was poor. Everyone got books and cd's that year. :lol: I did what I had to do. I did it Myyyy waaaaaaay.:woohoo:

[amber]

Some of them didn't get along, and so when I came to town, it was MY problem to deal with. I had to run my ass all over town to spend a reasonable time with each warring faction and it made me crazy. I did that for about two years. Then I got pissed. Everyone got me for an hour. I simply said, "I only have so much time, and it isn't my fault that you don't get along with___. So, because you all hate each other and won't talk, I only have an hour for each of you. Sorry." I lied and told them I was only in town for two days. Did they change ? NO. Did my time become more enjoyable ? Absolutely.

That's weird, that's how my fam has been for about 7 years, and that's the person I am, too - the only one everyone likes. Except the clusters live in different towns.
Two years ago or so, on Thanksgiving, my aunt and I got into a big emotional "fight" (she was emotional, and drinking) about why my mom won't talk to any of them - as if I could explain my mom. :rolleyes: She was really hurt. But then when I was trying to explain anything at all, she'd be like "you talk just like your mom - why can't you speak plainly?" Basically saying I was talking down to her, when I wasn't, and also really mad about it. (She's my mom's half sister, and my mom is "the smart one"). Anyway, so she insulted me that way.
I've just gone to my parent's since, if I go anywhere. Also, my grandma doesn't like her own sister, but my mom does. :rolleyes:
It's all totally lame. I don't deal with it, either. :)

[strandinthewind]

For a few years I hated the holidays. And that was when my family was all still alive. Some of them didn't get along, and so when I came to town, it was MY problem to deal with. I had to run my ass all over town to spend a reasonable time with each warring faction and it made me crazy. I did that for about two years. Then I got pissed. Everyone got me for an hour. I simply said, "I only have so much time, and it isn't my fault that you don't get along with___. So, because you all hate each other and won't talk, I only have an hour for each of you. Sorry." I lied and told them I was only in town for two days. Did they change ? NO. Did my time become more enjoyable ? Absolutely.

It was kind of a bummer, but taught me quite a bit about setting boundaries in general and not eating dirt for other people's problems. It was during that time that I started to spend more of my holidays with my best friend and that family. I had tons of fun with them. And still do. I didn't consciously create a new tradition. However, I was so angry, depressed, and resentful over the fact that it was no longer a fun time of year for me, something had to be done. My best friend agreed, and so we did a little thing and now we have a blast every year. Her family drives HER nuts, but I love them. When most of my family died, they became a safety net. And as the boyfriends have come and gone, Stevie, they have remained. Don't know what I will do when God Forbid, they start dying off. Thankfully the kids are my age.

Also, I toss a party every year. I have even done it when I couldn't afford it. It is mostly for people who work for me and with me, but others come too. Sometimes, it is the only time I see people who used to be a part of my everyday life. I miss all of them, but don't always work with them, so that has become something I look forward to in a big bad way. And they all love it too.

Anyway, that is what I do. I feel for anyone who has a sad time during this part of the year. I send a big :xoxo: to all of you. But, I am living proof that you can transform it and reclaim it.

One year, I joined two book clubs and two record clubs in November because I was poor. Everyone got books and cd's that year. :lol: I did what I had to do. I did it Myyyy waaaaaaay.:woohoo:

Lord Child - I do not do family drama - EVER. Fortunately, mine all get along. Of course, we are WASP's so there are not that many of us.

Also, I expect an invitation to your party. My date could be both my date and the entertainment :wavey: You, of course, are invited to mine, if I have it this year now that my former residence and beloved piano (which I usually got up on in red and belted a few after having a few) are gone :mad:

Finally, I know many get down in the dumps in the holiday season. I choose to concentrate on the positive which is, for my generally happy self, not that hard, though it is for other's and I have certainly been there in my own way.

On edit - there is also my annual two martini lunch followed by the shopping excursion - followed by gift wrapping (if the store did not) at home with more cocktails, Scotties to assist, and gay Christmas music "HAUL OUT THE HOLLY" :cool:

[SuzeQuze]

Thanks Jason, Sparky, and everyone for sharing how you stay positive through the holidays. This thread has been very helpful. Deck the halls with boughs of holly falalalalaaaa... :lol:

[Raeven Skye]

well..thru a twist of fate, i ended up in the Christmas section of Target yesterday, and i started looking at coolie things, and ornaments, and then i saw the trees all lit up, and i realized i was smiling, and planning presents, so maybe...just maybe...it will be ok. I've felt so alone for the past few months, that I think it's done me a lot of good to come here, and realize that I'm not alone at all. I hope the sun shines on all of us this season!