Feuds

[darklinensuit]

My mom and her sisters don't talk to one another. Her older sister's daughter (my mother's niece) doesn't talk to her own sister or mother, but is very close to my mother. That same older sister's husband's sister didn't talk to that sister either, but was close to my mother. I could add many more examples. In-laws and Outlaws.

We had a crazy neighbor when I was a teenager. Long story short, she was obsessed by "getting" my mother, who did her best to ignore it. Things were complicated because while the woman did not live on my street, she was best friends with our next-door-neighbor, and when my mom would go to her own car, Arlene would shout obscenities at her from the steps. I thought it was pretty crappy of our next-door neighbor Gail to allow it. (Incidentally, Arlene turned on Gail years ago, and afterwards she sued the county for money because her house literally sank far into the earth, so there is some justice.) But at the time I thought my mom went too far in being nice. The Friday before hs graduation I had a big party, & my mom ordered a sheet cake. I went with her to pick it up. As we walked from the parking space to the bakery, a car FLEW into the lot at us. Had I not jumped and grabbed my mom with me, we would have been mowed down. The car veered into a spot right nearby. Out steps Arlene with a big smile along with her young daughter. (How healthy.) I was shaking with anger, but my mom just stepped into the bakery. In my stupid youth I wished immediately that I had let Arlene hit me just to show her up. To this day I've never understood completely why my mother bent so far in terms of never doing anything to defend herself, especially since my miother can be hell on wheels when other people have given her crap. I imagine she didn't want to escalate the situations, but when somebody goes after you and your kid & harasses you by your home, action is warranted, IMO.

Many people have heard of the Bette Davis-Joan Crawford feud, which I was reminded of by the recent mention here of What Ever Happened To Baby Jane. And some people have speculated on David Letterman and Oprah Winfrey.

In my own life, I try to avoid pissing contests - not always easy in my family and my workplace. There are certainly exes I'd prefer not to bump into, but I can't say I'm feuding with anybody.

Now the questions.
- Are there feuds in your life? (In all seriousness, let's nobody refer to any squabbles between posters. ;) )
- Are there celebrity feuds you "follow?"
- What would somebody have to do to you to draw you into an ongoing feud?

- Jake

[GateandGarden]

Wow. What a crazy neighbor, Jake. :distress:

1) Are there feuds in your life? (In all seriousness, let's nobody refer to any squabbles between posters. ;) )
2) Are there celebrity feuds you "follow?"
3) What would somebody have to do to you to draw you into an ongoing feud?

1) I've had only two or three, personally. It's not something I generally do, though I've never been above resenting some chick I didn't really know from some class who acted snobby and superior. I tend to be petty, but I usually keep it to myself and if I ever get to the person, I wind up dropping the resentments in most cases because there is a lot more to people than the negative things we sometimes see. I guess you could say I had feuds of some sort when I was in elementary and middle school. Well, I'm not sure what to call them, really. There were some people I knew all through school who bullied me all the way through. I was "weird" and "queer." Some of my peers always targeted me for that. It didn't end until I went off to college, and even so, when I was a sophomore I lived in a suite sharing a bathroom with seven other girls and one day they took it upon to write "lesbian" all over my door. I haven't had anything like that happen since sophomore year.

Okay, that answer was too long. :laugh:

2) No, but I did watch some celebrity feud show on VH-1 one time.
3) If someone attacked (verbally or otherwise) my best friend or one of my family members that might do it. Also perceived prejudiced comments do the trick, depending on the situation.

[mylittledemon]

I had a good childhood. My mother was a homemaker and raised myself, my brother and my sister. My dad always had a good job and we never really needed anything. They didn't spoil us...but we had everything we needed and about 50% of what we wanted! My mother was a good mother and she did everything she could for us.

My family moved to Chattanooga, TN in 1992. From 92-98 we went to one church there near Cleveland. Growing up in this church I was very close to the pastor, his family and many of the kids that went to church there. In fact, I was head of the youth group at a certain point. My father however, was not a church-goer. He went on Easter and Christmas I think and that was it.

In 1998 my mother dropped the bomb on us that she and my father were getting divorced. What a shock that was...I still am not fully over it when I think about. Well I was pretty damn distraught...and guess who I went to see? Yup, my pastor. He spoke with me for an hour or so. Me, and Danny's son Tim, who was a good friend of mine, all went to see Mask of Zorro and have lunch.

Months later towards Christmastime my mother announces she is marrying Danny, who is divorcing his wife Suzy (of over 20 yrs) to marry my mother!!! After speaking to my sister months later after Christmas...my sister had known that my mother was seeing Danny about 8 months before she announced the divorce. So...that sonofabitch Danny was seeing my mother the whole time...so when I had gone to see him about the divorce he didn't have the balls to tell me. He lied to me telling me crap like "these things happen." Oh it still upsets me when I think about that day.

I will never ever trust him under any circumstance...I have very little trust in my own mother at this point too, even though I love her the same. My father of course was in complete shock...he had no clue. I suppose none of us did. We have all gone our seperate ways. My sister and mother do not speak ever. My brother and I speak to our mother maybe once every month. It's a damn shame.

[darklinensuit]

Wow. What a crazy neighbor, Jake. :distress:

1) Are there feuds in your life? (In all seriousness, let's nobody refer to any squabbles between posters. ;) )
2) Are there celebrity feuds you "follow?"
3) What would somebody have to do to you to draw you into an ongoing feud?

1) I've had only two or three, personally. It's not something I generally do, though I've never been above resenting some chick I didn't really know from some class who acted snobby and superior. I tend to be petty, but I usually keep it to myself and if I ever get to the person, I wind up dropping the resentments in most cases because there is a lot more to people than the negative things we sometimes see. I guess you could say I had feuds of some sort when I was in elementary and middle school. Well, I'm not sure what to call them, really. There were some people I knew all through school who bullied me all the way through. I was "weird" and "queer." Some of my peers always targeted me for that. It didn't end until I went off to college, and even so, when I was a sophomore I lived in a suite sharing a bathroom with seven other girls and one day they took it upon to write "lesbian" all over my door. I haven't had anything like that happen since sophomore year.

Okay, that answer was too long. :laugh:

2) No, but I did watch some celebrity feud show on VH-1 one time.
3) If someone attacked (verbally or otherwise) my best friend or one of my family members that might do it. Also perceived prejudiced comments do the trick, depending on the situation.

I'm sorry you dealt with that kind of harassment from neighbors. I hope your college was supportive of you if you filed anything.
I had a dream not long ago that I went to leave for work & somebody had painted swastikas on my door. I think it was triggered by many reports of neo-Nazi activity in Houston in that last year.

- Jake

[Mari]

- Are there feuds in your life? (In all seriousness, let's nobody refer to any squabbles between posters. )
lol.. good, I won't mention all the internet feuds, that saves me a long story!!

Family: I haven't talked to my dad in 12 years now, that's since my parents divorced. The split up wasn't the reason, it just made it easier for me to finally do that. I would've left the house and did the same thing maybe :(. It's a long story that's a bit too personal here, but I just don't have any positive feelings for him left. On top of whatever he's done, he's a very manipulative person too, so not being in contact makes my life a lot more pleasant.
A few years after that break, I also lost contact with my father's family, and that makes me a lot more sad.. the feud is between them and my mother, but I felt I had to pick my mothers' side on this. That family is sick, I guess. There's all these little and big secrets that everyone knows off but that you're not supposed to talk about. Like my late grandfather and how he treated his children. I guess I'm glad I don't have to play that game anymore but I do miss a lot of them.

- Are there celebrity feuds you "follow?"
Not really. Doesn't interest me much.

- What would somebody have to do to you to draw you into an ongoing feud?
If someone says untruthful things about or is very unfair to people who mean a lot to me. I find that very important, to speak out in such situations.

[skcin]

I have 2 feuds in my life. One has resolved, to a point.

Feud #1 I was good friends with this girl Nikki from 10th grade until we were about 25 or 26 (I can't even remember how many years ago the incident happened.) My parents used to own a bar & I'd meet up with friends pretty frequently. Anyhoo, Nikki started hanging around with this couple when we were around 24 maybe; I never liked them much because they were pretty into drugs & are racist (scary racist, bordering on skinhead stuff.)

So we're hanging out, hubby was there, as were his parents & my mom - I think it was a holiday party or karaoke or something that night. Nikki asks me for a mirror & I naively say "there's one on the wall in the bathroom, jackass." About an hour later, I realize that she and the racist girl had been in the bathroom for a while & *dingdingding* they must be doing lines.

Knowing if anyone finds out & calls the cops, my parents could get really screwed with drugs on the premesis. So I go in. There's only one stall & they're both in it. I start screaming at her to get out of the stall & they do, friend walks out of tha bathroom & Nikki starts apologizing. I tell her to get out & I try to leave the bathroom. She blocks the door, crying, saying she's so sorry, please don't be mad. I smack her in the face. She leaves, I come out screaming & crying to hubby. Nazi racist friend comes in & starts screaming at me, I try to walk away, she pushes me into my MIL. I turn around to hit her & all the guys with both of us separate us & it's over. I didn't speak to Nikki for about 2 years, and things were never the same even after we did speak again when our mutual friends got married/ had babies/ etc.

Feud # 2 is with my friend who ruined her husband's (who was my friend since I was 15) and kids' lives with her painkiller addiction. Long story short, she spent all of their savings, neglected the kids by leaving them in the car/other rooms while she f*cked men for pills, drank & popped pills in front of them, etc. Then one day she swallowed a bunch of pills (obvious pathetic "cry for help" since she called her mommy right after she did it) with her kids in the house & ended up in the hospital. She left without a full rehab & is still on drugs as far as I know. They split up, he almost lost the house, he lost her son (from a previous marriage - he moved out of state with his biological dad.) I hope I never see her again.

I don't bother with celebrity stuff, but the Tom Cruise Brooke Shields thing is hilarious. :nod:

[darklinensuit]

I had a good childhood. My mother was a homemaker and raised myself, my brother and my sister. My dad always had a good job and we never really needed anything. They didn't spoil us...but we had everything we needed and about 50% of what we wanted! My mother was a good mother and she did everything she could for us.

My family moved to Chattanooga, TN in 1992. From 92-98 we went to one church there near Cleveland. Growing up in this church I was very close to the pastor, his family and many of the kids that went to church there. In fact, I was head of the youth group at a certain point. My father however, was not a church-goer. He went on Easter and Christmas I think and that was it.

In 1998 my mother dropped the bomb on us that she and my father were getting divorced. What a shock that was...I still am not fully over it when I think about. Well I was pretty damn distraught...and guess who I went to see? Yup, my pastor. He spoke with me for an hour or so. Me, and Danny's son Tim, who was a good friend of mine, all went to see Mask of Zorro and have lunch.

Months later towards Christmastime my mother announces she is marrying Danny, who is divorcing his wife Suzy (of over 20 yrs) to marry my mother!!! After speaking to my sister months later after Christmas...my sister had known that my mother was seeing Danny about 8 months before she announced the divorce. So...that sonofabitch Danny was seeing my mother the whole time...so when I had gone to see him about the divorce he didn't have the balls to tell me. He lied to me telling me crap like "these things happen." Oh it still upsets me when I think about that day.

I will never ever trust him under any circumstance...I have very little trust in my own mother at this point too, even though I love her the same. My father of course was in complete shock...he had no clue. I suppose none of us did. We have all gone our seperate ways. My sister and mother do not speak ever. My brother and I speak to our mother maybe once every month. It's a damn shame.

Sorry you went through that. It's so hard when anger and betrayal involve parents.
I'm close to a former student whose mother & father were being counseled by a clergy member who then ended up marrying the mother. The clergy member did not have his contract renewed.

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

lol.. good, I won't mention all the internet feuds, that saves me a long story!!

Family: I haven't talked to my dad in 12 years now, that's since my parents divorced. The split up wasn't the reason, it just made it easier for me to finally do that. I would've left the house and did the same thing maybe :(. It's a long story that's a bit too personal here, but I just don't have any positive feelings for him left. On top of whatever he's done, he's a very manipulative person too, so not being in contact makes my life a lot more pleasant.
A few years after that break, I also lost contact with my father's family, and that makes me a lot more sad.. the feud is between them and my mother, but I felt I had to pick my mothers' side on this. That family is sick, I guess. There's all these little and big secrets that everyone knows off but that you're not supposed to talk about. Like my late grandfather and how he treated his children. I guess I'm glad I don't have to play that game anymore but I do miss a lot of them.


Not really. Doesn't interest me much.


If someone says untruthful things about or is very unfair to people who mean a lot to me. I find that very important, to speak out in such situations.

My mom feuded with my dad's family for years, but now she is very supportive of them. I'm amazed by her power to forgive, especially since the saga sounds like a season of Dynasty, down to blackmail, arrests, asylums, and so on. It would take a day just to describe it.

[Mari]

My mom feuded with my dad's family for years, but now she is very supportive of them. I'm amazed by her power to forgive, especially since the saga sounds like a season of Dynasty, down to blackmail, arrests, asylums, and so on. It would take a day just to describe it.

hah, I think it could take a day to explain our family situation too. Glad your mum got a good end of it. I hope I can get in touch with some of my family members one day, but I guess I'm a little chicken too. It's weird, I know I havent'done anything wrong, but I'm afraid a bit of how they'd readt on me.

[darklinensuit]

I have 2 feuds in my life. One has resolved, to a point.

Feud #1 I was good friends with this girl Nikki from 10th grade until we were about 25 or 26 (I can't even remember how many years ago the incident happened.) My parents used to own a bar & I'd meet up with friends pretty frequently. Anyhoo, Nikki started hanging around with this couple when we were around 24 maybe; I never liked them much because they were pretty into drugs & are racist (scary racist, bordering on skinhead stuff.)

So we're hanging out, hubby was there, as were his parents & my mom - I think it was a holiday party or karaoke or something that night. Nikki asks me for a mirror & I naively say "there's one on the wall in the bathroom, jackass." About an hour later, I realize that she and the racist girl had been in the bathroom for a while & *dingdingding* they must be doing lines.

Knowing if anyone finds out & calls the cops, my parents could get really screwed with drugs on the premesis. So I go in. There's only one stall & they're both in it. I start screaming at her to get out of the stall & they do, friend walks out of tha bathroom & Nikki starts apologizing. I tell her to get out & I try to leave the bathroom. She blocks the door, crying, saying she's so sorry, please don't be mad. I smack her in the face. She leaves, I come out screaming & crying to hubby. Nazi racist friend comes in & starts screaming at me, I try to walk away, she pushes me into my MIL. I turn around to hit her & all the guys with both of us separate us & it's over. I didn't speak to Nikki for about 2 years, and things were never the same even after we did speak again when our mutual friends got married/ had babies/ etc.

Feud # 2 is with my friend who ruined her husband's (who was my friend since I was 15) and kids' lives with her painkiller addiction. Long story short, she spent all of their savings, neglected the kids by leaving them in the car/other rooms while she f*cked men for pills, drank & popped pills in front of them, etc. Then one day she swallowed a bunch of pills (obvious pathetic "cry for help" since she called her mommy right after she did it) with her kids in the house & ended up in the hospital. She left without a full rehab & is still on drugs as far as I know. They split up, he almost lost the house, he lost her son (from a previous marriage - he moved out of state with his biological dad.) I hope I never see her again.

I don't bother with celebrity stuff, but the Tom Cruise Brooke Shields thing is hilarious. :nod:

I haven't followed Tom & Brooke, though I'm impressed if she's holding her own. I was never terribly impressed by her brains, Princeton ed notwithstanding. :)

I am lucky that drugs have had minimal effect on the people closest to me. My situation is the exception, it seems.

- Jake

[mylittledemon]

Sorry you went through that. It's so hard when anger and betrayal involve parents.
I'm close to a former student whose mother & father were being counseled by a clergy member who then ended up marrying the mother. The clergy member did not have his contract renewed.

- Jake


Yeah, and my mother's husband is still preaching. What brass cajones that fella has on him. I am civil to him for my mother's sake...because I love her...but it was screwed up man! I wouldn't have believed it had I not lived thru it. I hate to admit this, but I hoped they would be miserable with their lives because of what they had done. My mother told me a year or so ago that she "hated her life without us and the way her day today life is. But I love my husband and that's what matters now."

[GateandGarden]

I'm sorry you dealt with that kind of harassment from neighbors. I hope your college was supportive of you if you filed anything.
I had a dream not long ago that I went to leave for work & somebody had painted swastikas on my door. I think it was triggered by many reports of neo-Nazi activity in Houston in that last year.

- JakeThank you, Jake. :) Actually, the resident assistant who was supposed to be disciplining the girls was laughing at me along with them. :rolleyes: It was a bitch but there are much worse things to endure than some idiots who are perpetually in high school laughing at you. I think the family situations (some that have been mentioned on here and others) are far more important, so I try to put things in perspective even though that's contradictory to my drama queen nature. :laugh::nod:

[darklinensuit]

hah, I think it could take a day to explain our family situation too. Glad your mum got a good end of it. I hope I can get in touch with some of my family members one day, but I guess I'm a little chicken too. It's weird, I know I havent'done anything wrong, but I'm afraid a bit of how they'd readt on me.

Not to be preachy, but if it's something you want, don't let fear stop you. Don't wait until after someone dies.

- Jake

[GardenStateGirlie]

We don't talk to a lot of my family. In fact, i'm being forced to go to a family BBQ this afternoon with my fathers side of the family :rolleyes:

Everything is so complicated because there is divorce, remarriage, etc. To begin, my father and his twin brother never knew their father (and in fact, he passed away last Wednesday). He abandoned my grandmother in Italy and then went on to have twins of his own with some other woman. My dad and his brother are 57. They have two half-brothers (Salvatore and Anthony) and a half-sister, Rose. My dad and his twin brother haven't been on the best of terms for the past few years which in turn, caused his daughter (who is expecting her first child this week) and son to treat me like complete crap. We all live in the same housing development and i'd wave as I was leaving and they were coming in and they'd ignore me. My father doesn't like Sal (he's a bit of a blowhard) nor his sister Rose (she's a total space cadet and that's putting it mildly). My grandmother likes to cause problems between my dad and his twin brother and her husband (he's also 100% Italian and has cheated on her for years) and my dad and my dads brother do not get along. I hate him and he knows it.

My mom has a half-sister she's only met once and then she has a brother whom she's currently duking it out with. He and his first wife are divorced and my mom took care of their son (my cousin who is like a brother to me) when he was little because both of them were school teachers. Well, Eric has always been incredibly close to us but this past Christmas my uncle made some comments that my mom didn't really like. My uncle has a step son he's always treated like crap and is rather controlling of his wife. My mom said something about it--at their house :shocked: Merry Christmas! He threw a soda can at my mom and they haven't spoken since.

As far as celebrity feuds, I love anything having to do with Lindsay Lohan because it seems like she's fighting every five seconds with someone new.

I'm incredibly laxed and don't enjoy confrontation unless I feel it's absolutely warranted. The only feud I've had is with a coworker talking about me and the rest of my coworkers incessantly. She and I have had shouting matches -- it took a year and a half for me to get adaquately wound up until I finally explode. Generally, i'll ignore things because I like to keep the peace. This woman went too far.

[darklinensuit]

Yeah, and my mother's husband is still preaching. What brass cajones that fella has on him. I am civil to him for my mother's sake...because I love her...but it was screwed up man! I wouldn't have believed it had I not lived thru it. I hate to admit this, but I hoped they would be miserable with their lives because of what they had done. My mother told me a year or so ago that she "hated her life without us and the way her day today life is. But I love my husband and that's what matters now."

Please don't think I'm being self-righteous, but have you tried counseling?

- Jake

[skcin]

Yeah, and my mother's husband is still preaching. What brass cajones that fella has on him. I am civil to him for my mother's sake...because I love her...but it was screwed up man! I wouldn't have believed it had I not lived thru it. I hate to admit this, but I hoped they would be miserable with their lives because of what they had done. My mother told me a year or so ago that she "hated her life without us and the way her day today life is. But I love my husband and that's what matters now."


I would feel the same way you do. To throw away your life, your family, everything...I don't know, I've never been in that situation, but I'd like to think that I wouldn't be that selfish. Sorry, I hope you're doing OK.

[GateandGarden]

My mother told me a year or so ago that she "hated her life without us and the way her day today life is. But I love my husband and that's what matters now.":( :( I'm sorry Brandon.

[darklinensuit]

Thank you, Jake. :) Actually, the resident assistant who was supposed to be disciplining the girls was laughing at me along with them. :rolleyes: It was a bitch but there are much worse things to endure than some idiots who are perpetually in high school laughing at you. I think the family situations (some that have been mentioned on here and others) are far more important, so I try to put things in perspective even though that's contradictory to my drama queen nature. :laugh::nod:

An RA does have superiors.

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

We don't talk to a lot of my family. In fact, i'm being forced to go to a family BBQ this afternoon with my fathers side of the family :rolleyes:

Everything is so complicated because there is divorce, remarriage, etc. To begin, my father and his twin brother never knew their father (and in fact, he passed away last Wednesday). He abandoned my grandmother in Italy and then went on to have twins of his own with some other woman. My dad and his brother are 57. They have two half-brothers (Salvatore and Anthony) and a half-sister, Rose. My dad and his twin brother haven't been on the best of terms for the past few years which in turn, caused his daughter (who is expecting her first child this week) and son to treat me like complete crap. We all live in the same housing development and i'd wave as I was leaving and they were coming in and they'd ignore me. My father doesn't like Sal (he's a bit of a blowhard) nor his sister Rose (she's a total space cadet and that's putting it mildly). My grandmother likes to cause problems between my dad and his twin brother and her husband (he's also 100% Italian and has cheated on her for years) and my dad and my dads brother do not get along. I hate him and he knows it.

My mom has a half-sister she's only met once and then she has a brother whom she's currently duking it out with. He and his first wife are divorced and my mom took care of their son (my cousin who is like a brother to me) when he was little because both of them were school teachers. Well, Eric has always been incredibly close to us but this past Christmas my uncle made some comments that my mom didn't really like. My uncle has a step son he's always treated like crap and is rather controlling of his wife. My mom said something about it--at their house :shocked: Merry Christmas! He threw a soda can at my mom and they haven't spoken since.

As far as celebrity feuds, I love anything having to do with Lindsay Lohan because it seems like she's fighting every five seconds with someone new.

I'm incredibly laxed and don't enjoy confrontation unless I feel it's absolutely warranted. The only feud I've had is with a coworker talking about me and the rest of my coworkers incessantly. She and I have had shouting matches -- it took a year and a half for me to get adaquately wound up until I finally explode. Generally, i'll ignore things because I like to keep the peace. This woman went too far.

Yeah, I remember you telling me this stuff when we shared family crap stories.
Sorry to hear of your dad's dad. I assumed the funeral was for your neighbor.

Somebody needs to lock up Lindsey L. with Shannen Doherty.

- Jake

[GardenStateGirlie]

Yeah, I remember you telling me this stuff when we shared family crap stories.
Sorry to hear of your dad's dad. I assumed the funeral was for your neighbor.

Somebody needs to lock up Lindsey L. with Shannen Doherty.

- Jake

It was for my neighbor--my dad saw him as a dad but never met his real father (he lived and died in Italy--I have family there i've never met). Ironically, the day his real father died was the day our neighbor was rushed to the hospital. My dad was one of the pallbearers yesterday and spoke about how he didn't have a tie on because whenever we'd go somewhere that required his wearing one, he'd go across the street and have Jim tie his tie because he never knew how :(

Just you wait. Lohan gets around quite a bit--i'm sure she'll end up with her boyfriend too and Doherty will kick her ass :laugh:

[mylittledemon]

Please don't think I'm being self-righteous, but have you tried counseling?

- Jake


Mmm..no I havent. A girlfriend of mine suggested it years ago but I just didnt want to to do that. I probably felt like I didnt need it, or I was being weak by doing that. I did go thru a depressive period where my doc put me on Zoloft. That actually made things worse...and I truly didnt feel like I was depressed, but I'd took the Docs advice. I realized during the course of feeling like **** while taking this medicine I didn't have it so bad and I didn't need it! haha

[Mari]

Not to be preachy, but if it's something you want, don't let fear stop you. Don't wait until after someone dies.

- Jake

I know you're right. I tried to get in contact with my grandmother a while ago because it nearly was too late. But then the only way I could go and see her, was via one aunt I absolutely hate. She's done some real evil stuff, told lies.. I can't even tell that here. And the few things I heard from my grandmother made it clear how she thinks about the whole situation.. Maybe I wasn't that big a person then that I would go there and let all their stuff slide off me. And maybe my grandmother wasn't that great a person either and wasn't worth my trying.
I know I have to try again to contact some of them one day, because if I don't it will bug me forever. They never made any effort in my direction, but I guess it's not about that.. if I want to, I should do it myself.
My dad though, I'm pretty clear on that, no way and never again, thank you.

[mylittledemon]

I would feel the same way you do. To throw away your life, your family, everything...I don't know, I've never been in that situation, but I'd like to think that I wouldn't be that selfish. Sorry, I hope you're doing OK.

And thats what I feel like she did. Threw it all away...but she is a human being and I cant fault her, even though I put her on a pedestal because she's my mother. I know she's got her own life now...so thinking that way its easier for me to deal with what happened. That was 7 years ago, it seems like yesterday, and it still hurts when I see her. I still think about what happened.

[GateandGarden]

An RA does have superiors.

- JakeI know. I just chose not to pursue it.

[SuzeQuze]

I had a good childhood. My mother was a homemaker and raised myself, my brother and my sister. My dad always had a good job and we never really needed anything. They didn't spoil us...but we had everything we needed and about 50% of what we wanted! My mother was a good mother and she did everything she could for us.

My family moved to Chattanooga, TN in 1992. From 92-98 we went to one church there near Cleveland. Growing up in this church I was very close to the pastor, his family and many of the kids that went to church there. In fact, I was head of the youth group at a certain point. My father however, was not a church-goer. He went on Easter and Christmas I think and that was it.

In 1998 my mother dropped the bomb on us that she and my father were getting divorced. What a shock that was...I still am not fully over it when I think about. Well I was pretty damn distraught...and guess who I went to see? Yup, my pastor. He spoke with me for an hour or so. Me, and Danny's son Tim, who was a good friend of mine, all went to see Mask of Zorro and have lunch.

Months later towards Christmastime my mother announces she is marrying Danny, who is divorcing his wife Suzy (of over 20 yrs) to marry my mother!!! After speaking to my sister months later after Christmas...my sister had known that my mother was seeing Danny about 8 months before she announced the divorce. So...that sonofabitch Danny was seeing my mother the whole time...so when I had gone to see him about the divorce he didn't have the balls to tell me. He lied to me telling me crap like "these things happen." Oh it still upsets me when I think about that day.

I will never ever trust him under any circumstance...I have very little trust in my own mother at this point too, even though I love her the same. My father of course was in complete shock...he had no clue. I suppose none of us did. We have all gone our seperate ways. My sister and mother do not speak ever. My brother and I speak to our mother maybe once every month. It's a damn shame.

Jesus I'm sorry that bomb exploded in your life. :distress: Those kinds of betrayals cut very deep. My parents split at about the same time and even though I am an adult I still haven't gotten over it either.

I don't really have any feuds exactly but there's a whole family I used to be friendly with that I am not anymore. I met them through a woman I worked with while in college. Over the years I got to know each of her family members. After being with my fiance for 8 years, including all dating years, things really began to fall apart. I confided a lot in this woman's sister. She knew some very personal things that nobody else knew. But after I wound up leaving she moved in with him 2 weeks later. :eek: When I found out I vomitted.

That was the most difficult year of my life and I never want to feel like that again. I am very careful about the people I will hang around with now. I barely got through that year. It really felt like something exploded in the middle of my life and I was living in the pieces. I had no home (temporarily with parents), no kitties (he had my girls), few friends and none who weren't somehow related to this woman. It was awful.

Last week my ex was playing a gig. Also a mutual friend of ours was going on as the next act. I really wanted to go but I couldn't do it. It would depress me to see her there and all. So it still does affect me these 7 years later.

Yes, my mother decided to leave my father after I left my ex (while I was living back at home). I was so mad at her for that, still am. Oh man this thread is depressing! But it reminds me of how far I have come because now I am living the life that I want to instead of trying to fit some mold that he wanted me to be.

[mylittledemon]

And thats what I feel like she did. Threw it all away...but she is a person and I cant fault her, even though I put her on a pedestal because she's my mother. I know she's got her own life now...so thinking that way its easier for me to deal with what happened. That was 7 years ago, it seems like yesterday, and it still hurts when I see her. I still think about what happened.


You know hurts me still too SUZE...It was a painful thing...and I know I don't have it so damn bad. You know there are starving children everywhere, sick & homeless so I cant complain too much. But in the end, we all have our battles...and I distrust people very much, especially people in church. I just feel like the things that happened in my life are a real shame. I'm doing the same thing too...trying to make something of my life and be happy about it.

[Mari]

Ditto, here!

[sara1998]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a disfunctional family... but I'm sorry all of you go through this ****.

My grandmother, on my mom's side is one big bitch. See, my mom's mom's side of the family reminds me of the troll with their extreme right views. They are holier-than-thou, and don't dare tell them any different. My grandmother has always treated my mom like ****. She has never liked my dad because he don't take **** from no one, including her. And, of coarse, I'm not good enough either, because I'm my fathers daughter, and I won't take her **** either. So, rewind back to my Jason's funeral. This is when I basically cut off all contact with grandma. She came up to Indiana (she lives in Tennessee) for the funeral. So, when she got here, a few days before the funeral, she was around basically while I was planning it. I buried him in a t-shirt and blue jeans, becasue he would not be comfortable buried in a suit and tie. (call me crazy, it's how I think) I also had a closed casket to spare Sara of any unwanted trauma. Well, grandma first threw a fit because he was not "dressed up" to meet his maker, and went on to bitch because it was a closed casket. She could'nt see him. WTF? She told the rest of the family that I said not to bother sending flowers, because I didn't want them. Needless to say, she went home the day before the funeral. Things didn't go her way.

Now, I just lost my favorite grandfather 2 Saturdays ago when I was in California. This is grandma's ex-husband, my mom's dad. I love her dad's side of the family. They are the partiers. Put it this way, grandpa was buried with his cigarettes, lighter, and a fifth of vodka. Grandma came up from Tennessee showing her ass again, about in the same way she did at Jason's funeral. Her and my dad really got into it, and grandma told my dad that she will be sure that she takes my mom away from him. My folks have been married 29 years now. I'm sure mom's not going anywhere! LOL... No one is talking to her now. She's damn lucky I was out of state because I would have went the f*ck off on her. She's one of those if it's not her way, she's pissed off about it. NEver mind that this is her ex-husband of 40 years..... I have cut off all contact with her, and could care less if I ever speak to her again.

[xdreamsunwindx]

My dad and I are *barely* on speaking terms. There are times where we go weeks without talking to eachother. There are a lot of grudges between us. He has a drinking problem, treats my mother and I like ****, and is in general an incredibly bitter person, and he's totally against everything I do. He's not happy with the fact that I'm playing in rock bands, that I'm a vegitarian and an animal rights supporter, a liberal, etc. He hates the fact that I'm opinionated and passionate. He gave me the "little girls should be seen and not heard" speech MANY times in the past few years. I'm like, I'm fifteen years old, I'm not a little girl, and you should be HAPPY with the fact that I know how to express my views intelligently. I don't want to get into the rest of it now, because I'll just get pissed off and stuff.

Also, much of my extended family hates me because I hate George Bush and don't practice a certain religion, and they're all uber conservative christians. Plus, they think that I worship Satan. -_- Then there's a few people I went to middle school with whom I absolutely despise. They just ****ed with me and my friends, and I didn't dig that at all. They know I hate them, too. Preps are evil. EVIL.

As far as celebrity feuds go, I could care less. Though, I think that Lindsay Lohan could deffinitely kick Jessica Simpson's ass.

[Mari]

^Sara1998 :shocked: Some people sure know to choose the worst moments, don't they? Jesus, she should mind her own f*cking business if you ask me!

Last funeral I went to was my grandmom (mom's side of the family) last year. That's when my dad decided to show up unannounced. Hadn't seen him before that for over 10 years and would like to keep it that way. Yeah he picked a great moment too. He was grovelling before us, me and my mum.. oh so pitiful. But the next time I heard of him he was trying to get his way, manipulating and bossing me around just as he'd always done. I guess I'm glad to've seen him again and have a new image of him (grey old scruffy pitiful man) instead of that man I was scared of in my childhood, though. 'kay, enough personal stuff for today :o

[sara1998]

^Sara1998 :shocked: Some people sure know to choose the worst moments, don't they? Jesus, she should mind her own f*cking business if you ask me!

Last funeral I went to was my grandmom (mom's side of the family) last year. That's when my dad decided to show up unannounced. Hadn't seen him before that for over 10 years and would like to keep it that way. Yeah he picked a great moment too. He was grovelling before us, me and my mum.. oh so pitiful. But the next time I heard of him he was trying to get his way, manipulating and bossing me around just as he'd always done. I guess I'm glad to've seen him again and have a new image of him (grey old scruffy pitiful man) instead of that man I was scared of in my childhood, though. 'kay, enough personal stuff for today :o

Maybe your dad and my grandma should get togther. Sounds like they'd be good for eachother...... :lol:

[Mari]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[EnchantedSLN]

I don't think I have any feuds.

There are a lot in my family though. My grandmother's brother died several years ago, and his children had him cremated and spread his ashes according to his final wishes. In the Jewish faith, you're not supposed to do this. So, my grandmother was very upset about it and saw it as a slap in the face to her brother's life and religion, even though it was apparently what he wanted. She cut all ties with them and has refused to acknowledge them as part of our family ever since. She has Alzheimer's now and can't remember much of anything anymore, but she still remembers that she hates them all ;). (She also blamed his death on them, to an extent. He died of a cocaine overdose and she felt it was their fault for not getting their father the help he needed before it was too late.)

One of my grandmother's sisters, Vicki, was killed under mysterious circumstances about 15 years ago. The investigation never led anywhere, but my family is convinced the man she was living with at the time had something to do with it. There was a fair amount of money involved. Her daughter seemed to know some details that she wasn't giving up, so she has subsequently been excluded from the family too.

Also, we used to be really close to one of my mother's cousins... when my parents got divorced and my mom & I had to make an unexpected move across the country (abusive situation, big mess), she allowed us to live in one of their homes (yes, plural) in Scottsdale for 1 year so that my mom could get on her feet somewhere where my dad wouldn't think to look, and then permanently move to California where most of her family was. Her cousin even came out and stayed with us for about 4 months of that year to show my mom around and help her find a new job and get me in school and stuff. When we moved out at the end of that year, the cousin's husband said some really unsavory stuff to my mom (about how he didn't know why they were helping his wife's trashy family blah blah blah). Said cousin didn't say a word in defense of us, so that was a sore spot between her & my mom for a long time. It irked me because she was like an aunt to me and while I was naturally defensive of my mom, she had always been good to me & I didn't want to completely lose touch with her. This was a long time ago and things have simmered down a bit... I've visited her numerous times over the years and her and my mom are on civil terms, but they'll never be real close again.

Wait, was that my family or a synopsis for a Lifetime movie marathon? :laugh:

[skcin]

My dad and I are *barely* on speaking terms. There are times where we go weeks without talking to eachother. There are a lot of grudges between us. He has a drinking problem, treats my mother and I like ****, and is in general an incredibly bitter person, and he's totally against everything I do. He's not happy with the fact that I'm playing in rock bands, that I'm a vegitarian and an animal rights supporter, a liberal, etc. He hates the fact that I'm opinionated and passionate. He gave me the "little girls should be seen and not heard" speech MANY times in the past few years. I'm like, I'm fifteen years old, I'm not a little girl, and you should be HAPPY with the fact that I know how to express my views intelligently. I don't want to get into the rest of it now, because I'll just get pissed off and stuff.

Also, much of my extended family hates me because I hate George Bush and don't practice a certain religion, and they're all uber conservative christians. Plus, they think that I worship Satan. -_- Then there's a few people I went to middle school with whom I absolutely despise. They just ****ed with me and my friends, and I didn't dig that at all. They know I hate them, too. Preps are evil. EVIL.

As far as celebrity feuds go, I could care less. Though, I think that Lindsay Lohan could deffinitely kick Jessica Simpson's ass.


Kate,

1 - If your dad can't be proud of you for being a strong, smart, independent woman then it's up to you to be proud of yourself. I hope you are. If not, I hope you will learn to be. Sounds like he's afraid of your strong will.

2 - Preps in school are evil. :D There's just no way around it. Don't worry - karma's a bitch & they will get theirs someday (I speak from experience ;) )

3 - Yes, Hohan should brawl with Jessica. That would be funny. :p

[darklinensuit]

I know. I just chose not to pursue it.


Fair enough.

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

Jesus I'm sorry that bomb exploded in your life. :distress: Those kinds of betrayals cut very deep. My parents split at about the same time and even though I am an adult I still haven't gotten over it either.

I don't really have any feuds exactly but there's a whole family I used to be friendly with that I am not anymore. I met them through a woman I worked with while in college. Over the years I got to know each of her family members. After being with my fiance for 8 years, including all dating years, things really began to fall apart. I confided a lot in this woman's sister. She knew some very personal things that nobody else knew. But after I wound up leaving she moved in with him 2 weeks later. :eek: When I found out I vomitted.

That was the most difficult year of my life and I never want to feel like that again. I am very careful about the people I will hang around with now. I barely got through that year. It really felt like something exploded in the middle of my life and I was living in the pieces. I had no home (temporarily with parents), no kitties (he had my girls), few friends and none who weren't somehow related to this woman. It was awful.

Last week my ex was playing a gig. Also a mutual friend of ours was going on as the next act. I really wanted to go but I couldn't do it. It would depress me to see her there and all. So it still does affect me these 7 years later.

Yes, my mother decided to leave my father after I left my ex (while I was living back at home). I was so mad at her for that, still am. Oh man this thread is depressing! But it reminds me of how far I have come because now I am living the life that I want to instead of trying to fit some mold that he wanted me to be.

Sorry the thread depresses you.
I don't think avoiding someone who hurt you qualifies as a feud. A feud is more aggressive than that, IMO.

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a disfunctional family... but I'm sorry all of you go through this ****.

My grandmother, on my mom's side is one big bitch. See, my mom's mom's side of the family reminds me of the troll with their extreme right views. They are holier-than-thou, and don't dare tell them any different. My grandmother has always treated my mom like ****. She has never liked my dad because he don't take **** from no one, including her. And, of coarse, I'm not good enough either, because I'm my fathers daughter, and I won't take her **** either. So, rewind back to my Jason's funeral. This is when I basically cut off all contact with grandma. She came up to Indiana (she lives in Tennessee) for the funeral. So, when she got here, a few days before the funeral, she was around basically while I was planning it. I buried him in a t-shirt and blue jeans, becasue he would not be comfortable buried in a suit and tie. (call me crazy, it's how I think) I also had a closed casket to spare Sara of any unwanted trauma. Well, grandma first threw a fit because he was not "dressed up" to meet his maker, and went on to bitch because it was a closed casket. She could'nt see him. WTF? She told the rest of the family that I said not to bother sending flowers, because I didn't want them. Needless to say, she went home the day before the funeral. Things didn't go her way.

Now, I just lost my favorite grandfather 2 Saturdays ago when I was in California. This is grandma's ex-husband, my mom's dad. I love her dad's side of the family. They are the partiers. Put it this way, grandpa was buried with his cigarettes, lighter, and a fifth of vodka. Grandma came up from Tennessee showing her ass again, about in the same way she did at Jason's funeral. Her and my dad really got into it, and grandma told my dad that she will be sure that she takes my mom away from him. My folks have been married 29 years now. I'm sure mom's not going anywhere! LOL... No one is talking to her now. She's damn lucky I was out of state because I would have went the f*ck off on her. She's one of those if it's not her way, she's pissed off about it. NEver mind that this is her ex-husband of 40 years..... I have cut off all contact with her, and could care less if I ever speak to her again.

Wow, sorry you had to deal with that foolishness at such a difficult time. My mother's mother was something of a horror as well, to the point where I never met her even though we lived in the same city & I was ten when she died.

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

My dad and I are *barely* on speaking terms. There are times where we go weeks without talking to eachother. There are a lot of grudges between us. He has a drinking problem, treats my mother and I like ****, and is in general an incredibly bitter person, and he's totally against everything I do. He's not happy with the fact that I'm playing in rock bands, that I'm a vegitarian and an animal rights supporter, a liberal, etc. He hates the fact that I'm opinionated and passionate. He gave me the "little girls should be seen and not heard" speech MANY times in the past few years. I'm like, I'm fifteen years old, I'm not a little girl, and you should be HAPPY with the fact that I know how to express my views intelligently. I don't want to get into the rest of it now, because I'll just get pissed off and stuff.

Also, much of my extended family hates me because I hate George Bush and don't practice a certain religion, and they're all uber conservative christians. Plus, they think that I worship Satan. -_- Then there's a few people I went to middle school with whom I absolutely despise. They just ****ed with me and my friends, and I didn't dig that at all. They know I hate them, too. Preps are evil. EVIL.

As far as celebrity feuds go, I could care less. Though, I think that Lindsay Lohan could deffinitely kick Jessica Simpson's ass.

Is your father's last name Bunker? ;)

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

One of my grandmother's sisters, Vicki, was killed under mysterious circumstances about 15 years ago. The investigation never led anywhere, but my family is convinced the man she was living with at the time had something to do with it. There was a fair amount of money involved. Her daughter seemed to know some details that she wasn't giving up, so she has subsequently been excluded from the family too.

It's so nice when money strengthens family ties, isn't it?
My mother's two sisters fought over my grandmother's diamond ring and her fair coat.
The older sister got (took) the ring, though she & her mother hadn't spoken for years. The younger sister was the only one to have kept contact with my grandmother, so my mother said to let her have it. The older sister didn't comply.
In terms of the mink, all three sisters wanted it. It was too small on the oldest sister, too big on the youngest sister, and fit my mom perfectly. The oldest sister took it.
I am proud to say that my mother got past these petty issues and found more important reasons not to talk to either sister years later. :D

- Jake

[strandinthewind]

My mom and her sisters don't talk to one another. Her older sister's daughter (my mother's niece) doesn't talk to her own sister or mother, but is very close to my mother. That same older sister's husband's sister didn't talk to that sister either, but was close to my mother. I could add many more examples. In-laws and Outlaws.

We had a crazy neighbor when I was a teenager. Long story short, she was obsessed by "getting" my mother, who did her best to ignore it. Things were complicated because while the woman did not live on my street, she was best friends with our next-door-neighbor, and when my mom would go to her own car, Arlene would shout obscenities at her from the steps. I thought it was pretty crappy of our next-door neighbor Gail to allow it. (Incidentally, Arlene turned on Gail years ago, and afterwards she sued the county for money because her house literally sank far into the earth, so there is some justice.) But at the time I thought my mom went too far in being nice. The Friday before hs graduation I had a big party, & my mom ordered a sheet cake. I went with her to pick it up. As we walked from the parking space to the bakery, a car FLEW into the lot at us. Had I not jumped and grabbed my mom with me, we would have been mowed down. The car veered into a spot right nearby. Out steps Arlene with a big smile along with her young daughter. (How healthy.) I was shaking with anger, but my mom just stepped into the bakery. In my stupid youth I wished immediately that I had let Arlene hit me just to show her up. To this day I've never understood completely why my mother bent so far in terms of never doing anything to defend herself, especially since my miother can be hell on wheels when other people have given her crap. I imagine she didn't want to escalate the situations, but when somebody goes after you and your kid & harasses you by your home, action is warranted, IMO.

Many people have heard of the Bette Davis-Joan Crawford feud, which I was reminded of by the recent mention here of What Ever Happened To Baby Jane. And some people have speculated on David Letterman and Oprah Winfrey.

In my own life, I try to avoid pissing contests - not always easy in my family and my workplace. There are certainly exes I'd prefer not to bump into, but I can't say I'm feuding with anybody.

Now the questions.
- Are there feuds in your life? (In all seriousness, let's nobody refer to any squabbles between posters. ;) )
- Are there celebrity feuds you "follow?"
- What would somebody have to do to you to draw you into an ongoing feud?

- Jake

My Lord - I thought feuds were solely in the assumed inbred South :laugh:

[darklinensuit]

My Lord - I thought feuds were solely in the assumed inbred South :laugh:

There are no southerners in my family except for my mother's uncle who left Philly or New York to conduct the Birmingham Symphony many years ago, and he avoided ANY contact with relatives ever again. :)

- Jake

[strandinthewind]

There are no southerners in my family except for my mother's uncle who left Philly or New York to conduct the Birmingham Symphony many years ago, and he avoided ANY contact with relatives ever again. :)

- Jake


Knowing you - who'd blame him :xoxo:

for the feignt of heart - I am joking with Jake :cool:

[sara1998]

My Lord - I thought feuds were solely in the assumed inbred South :laugh:
Funny you say that... all of my mom's mom's side of the family were born, raised, and still living in Tennessee! :lol:

[darklinensuit]

Knowing you - who'd blame him :xoxo:

for the feignt of heart - I am joking with Jake :cool:

All happened long before my birth, thank you.
And hey, I'm a thousand miles from my relatives for the last thirteen years. :)

- Jake

[strandinthewind]

. . . And hey, I'm a thousand miles from my relatives for the last thirteen years. :)

- Jake

restraining order :shrug: :xoxo: :xoxo: :xoxo:

[darklinensuit]

restraining order :shrug: :xoxo: :xoxo: :xoxo:

Yeah, it was hard to get one on the whole pack.

- Jake

[strandinthewind]

Yeah, it was hard to get one on the whole pack.

- Jake

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

oh the stuff that flies around here on a Sun. night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :woohoo:

[GardenStateGirlie]

Amazingly enough, the family BBQ I attended today--no one fought :shocked:

[strandinthewind]

Amazingly enough, the family BBQ I attended today--no one fought :shocked:

was the "Don" there :eek: :angel: :xoxo: :laugh: :p

[GardenStateGirlie]

was the "Don" there :eek: :angel: :xoxo: :laugh: :p

My dads the Don :cool: :laugh: