Frustrated and Angry Small town discrimination.

[dudden22]

I need to vent.

A year ago I was forced out of my job when my employers found out I was gay. They told me if I chose to stay and work for them that they would inform all other employees that I was a health and safety risk for bringing aids into the office (they were church elders). :rolleyes: I am HIV negative.

I tried to file a complaint with the Department of Labor, but that went nowhere because there are not discrimination laws protecting gays and lesbians in this state. Pride wanted me to go public at the time. A lesbian couple that had just gone public had their house burned down, so out of fear for my family members I didn’t.

I have just started a new job with a clothing store for the summer until school starts again. My former employer came in on Friday and I overheard him telling my new boss that I am gay and “to watch out because he tried to file a complaint on us”. I am assuming that they must know each other. My new boss did not say anything so far, but it happened towards the end of my shift on Friday. I guess I will find out on Monday.

I do not whether I should talk to him about it or not. If this becomes a problem again I may very well go crazy. I have never felt so powerless and frustrated in my life.

I need to finish school and move back to L.A.

[GODDESS6]

wow i am sorry :sorry: that their are people out there like this, how awful & small minded!!! :distress: ~ i just feel bad!!!~ this should never happen!!! :distress: ~

[Johnny Stew]

My former employer came in on Friday and I overheard him telling my new boss that I am gay and “to watch out because he tried to file a complaint on us”. I am assuming that they must know each other. My new boss did not say anything so far, but it happened towards the end of my shift on Friday. I guess I will find out on Monday.

I do not whether I should talk to him about it or not. If this becomes a problem again I may very well go crazy. I have never felt so powerless and frustrated in my life.I'm really sorry to hear about your situation.
It boils my blood that this stuff still goes on, but, since you said it was a church organization you worked for, I'm not at all surprised by their behaviour (wouldn't Jesus be proud? :rolleyes: ).

If I were you, I would talk to my new employer.
I would explain to him that you were dismissed from your former job, for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with your work ethic or capabilities, and that that's what you took issue with.
Let him know you're not a "problem employee," and that you want to be an asset to the store, not a liability.

If he's a fair and reasonable person, he should be impressed that you were upfront with him about the situation.

And who knows, your boss might have even gone home Friday night, and said to his wife, "I ran into ______ today -- can you believe he had fired our new employee just for being gay? What a jerk!"

[CelticGypsy]

So sorry, this had to happen :distress: Good luck with finishing school and moving to a much better place.

[dudden22]

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation.
It boils my blood that this stuff still goes on, but, since you said it was a church organization you worked for, I'm not at all surprised by their behaviour (wouldn't Jesus be proud? :rolleyes: ).



Thanks for the advice.

It was not a Church Organization I worked for, my former employers are just church elders at a local church.

[estranged4life]

that is utter & absolute BS to me!!! But thus is the narrowmindedness of small town America...I wish ya luck! :nod:

[Johnny Stew]

Thanks for the advice.

It was not a Church Organization I worked for, my former employers are just church elders at a local church.Ah, ok, I misunderstood. :o

Still, their behaviour isn't very "Christian." But it is, sadly, reflective of the perversion of Christianity that occurs far too often.

[SteveMacD]

I feel your pain. I had a job for about six months at a Hospice in a small town in Ohio that was about an hour outside of Dayton. During that six month period, the Executive Director quit, and we went through TWO head nurses. In fact, five of eleven full-time employees quit during that time, and I was given one of said employee's job. Not to mention I rolled-over an SUV that I had for all of six weeks. By the time my six month probationary period was coming to an end, a new Executive Director had been hired, though she hadn't officially started. She came to her first meeting wearing a crop-top and hip-huggers, and her highest degree appeared to be an Associate's in Social Work from a community college. I have a Master's in Social Work from Ohio State! So, it was no surprise and actually a releif that my employment wasn't continued after my six month probationary period ended. Of course, their reasoning is that they felt they wanted a social worker who lived closer to the patients. So, small town politics can bite you in the ass regardless of sexual orientation.

[ShangriLaTroubl]

You should try contacting the local news and/or newspapers. They usually love this kind of story, and your former employer would be totally mad..
Chris

[mylittledemon]

Well at this point I think you could sue your former employer for slander. Former employers are never supposed to say things like that.

I would sue the ***** out of those self righteous bastards. And you know what?...if they were truly God-loving Christians, they would have tried to "save you" from what they see as living a sinful lifestyle. not get you fired from your job.

When people do things like that to me, I just let it go. It's not my job to brandish justice and vengeance out on people. Believe me, it's the hardest thing to do sometimes, but it makes you the better person in the end.

[GateandGarden]

Oh my god. I am so sorry that this happened. That is just horrible. What a bastard!!! I don't know if this makes you feel better at all, but whenever you feel like nearly everyone around you is homophobic and completely unreasonable, the folks here at The Ledge are far more open-minded. This can be a place where you can find understanding people when they are all too scarce where you live. :) I just can't express how sorry I am about this. :(

[BombaySapphire3]

I'm very ,very sorry to hear of this.The puritanical,hypocritical streak in much of small town middle America is appalling.Homophobia exists almost everywhere even in the dark indigo of the progressive Bay area, but it is more in your face and brazen in small towns and the Bible belt. Just consider this about these so called "Christian" church deacons.Going to church does not make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

[macfanken]

Wow... I live in a really progressive city so it's easy to forget that this kind of **** is normal in some parts of the country. :mad: I've done quite a bit of traveling and I think going to "small town America" is more of a culture shock to me than going to another country in Europe or South America, etc. :distress: What really pisses me off is the right wingers who say that gays just want "special rights" and don't need equal rights legislation. I'm sure you'd disagree with that! The idealist in me says to call your congressman, call the media, sue your previous employer, etc... but I think the best advice is to finish school and then high-tail it out of there to a big city on one of the coasts. :nod:

[GypsySorcerer]

What assholes. :mad: :distress: I would also talk to your new employer. Whatever happens, I certainly wish you the best.

[SteveMacD]

I've done quite a bit of traveling and I think going to "small town America" is more of a culture shock to me than going to another country in Europe or South America, etc.
VERY true. I tend to vacation in Canada several times a year just for that very reason. I don't need my blood pressure to shoot up just because of something ignorant one of the locals might say, which happens a lot in some parts of "small town America." I'd much rather freeze my ass off!

[amber]

I'm just watching the news, and some people came all the way from Kansas to protest in Tracy (CA), because people are graduating from a highschool that has a gay/straight alliance, and that group was giving out awards. The girl they talked to who was from there said: *shrug* "god hates you if you're a fag". :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :mad: Holy christ. What kind of idiot...oh, nevermind. You know what I mean.

[BombaySapphire3]

That would be the incredible Fred Phelps and his congregation,most of whom are his family members from Westboro Baptist church in Topeka Kansas.He also has picketed Matthew Shepard's funeral and the funerals of AIDS victims in Topeka and Kansas City.I happen to know that he is fairly well tolerated in Topeka and while the locals there superficially pretend to disapprove of them there is alot of underlying sympathy for their deranged activities.There will be a day of reckoning for these horrible people.I'm just ashamed to even be part of the same species.

[Johnny Stew]

That would be the incredible Fred Phelps and his congregation,most of whom are his family members from Westboro Baptist church in Topeka Kansas.He also has picketed Matthew Shepard's funeral and the funerals of AIDS victims in Topeka and Kansas City.I happen to know that he is fairly well tolerated in Topeka and while the locals there superficially pretend to disapprove of them there is alot of underlying sympathy for their deranged activities.There will be a day of reckoning for these horrible people.I'm just ashamed to even be part of the same species.My friend, Wyatt, lives in Topeka, and he's already planning to picket Phelps' funeral.

He's going to carry a sign that reads, "Hot enough for you down there?" :laugh:

[Johnny Stew]

Oh, and I want to add that Phelps and his cronies also picketed the funeral of Mr. Rogers.

Mister Rogers!!! :mad:

[GateandGarden]

Oh, and I want to add that Phelps and his cronies also picketed the funeral of Mr. Rogers.

Mister Rogers!!! :mad:I didn't know that. I didn't think he could get any worse. :mad:

[catinthedark]

Holy crap. I actually find myself stunned by that kind of behavior. I didn't even think it existed anymore. I work in the news media in Canada (read: just about as liberal as you can find!). Between my own work place's pledge as an equal opportunity employer (be it to people of colour, disability, sexual orientation, religion, etc) and my government on the verge of legalizing same sex marriage across the country (it is legal in many provinces already), it just shocks and angers me that peopel are still discriminated against like this.

Good luck. Courage.

[dudden22]

My friend, Wyatt, lives in Topeka, and he's already planning to picket Phelps' funeral.

He's going to carry a sign that reads, "Hot enough for you down there?" :laugh:

:laugh: :lol: :laugh: Where do I sign up? That man is pure evil. He came here to protest our University System. I wonder what they live on? That is all they do is travel and protest. The sickest part is that a lot of the picketers are his family Children, Grandchildren...

[dudden22]

I just wanted to thank everyone for letting me vent. I was just livid and frustrated yesterday.

[jwd]

I need to vent.

A year ago I was forced out of my job when my employers found out I was gay. They told me if I chose to stay and work for them that they would inform all other employees that I was a health and safety risk for bringing aids into the office (they were church elders). I am HIV negative.

I tried to file a complaint with the Department of Labor, but that went nowhere because there are not discrimination laws protecting gays and lesbians in this state. Pride wanted me to go public at the time. A lesbian couple that had just gone public had their house burned down, so out of fear for my family members I didn’t.

I have just started a new job with a clothing store for the summer until school starts again. My former employer came in on Friday and I overheard him telling my new boss that I am gay and “to watch out because he tried to file a complaint on us”. I am assuming that they must know each other. My new boss did not say anything so far, but it happened towards the end of my shift on Friday. I guess I will find out on Monday.

I do not whether I should talk to him about it or not. If this becomes a problem again I may very well go crazy. I have never felt so powerless and frustrated in my life.

I need to finish school and move back to L.A.


First of all, I'd like to say how sorry I am that you lost your job under those circumstances. I know I wouldn't want to work for people with attitudes like that. Obviously, they are IGNORANT. GAY does not equal HIV, HIV does not equal AIDS. Anyone can have the disease! I'd have to gather up some literature on the subject and try to educate them. Depending on how important the job was to me, I might try to stick it out for awhile, "hoping" they would go ahead with their threats. I would think that one would have a good shot at a libel/defamation of character suit against their employer in a case like what happened on your first job.


This is just me, and everyone has their own way of handling things. BUT, if it was my home, and my job, and that's where I wanted to be, I'D FIGHT! F*** the running ****! There's a time when one has to stand up for what is right!

Good luck my friend.

[HomerMcvie]

This is just me, and everyone has their own way of handling things. BUT, if it was my home, and my job, and that's where I wanted to be, I'D FIGHT! F*** the running ****! There's a time when one has to stand up for what is right!

And what, get your house burned down(or possibly worse)? IMO, you can't win in a place like that. Get the hell out of that pudunk, small minded ****hole(and I grew up in a pudunk, small minded ****hole!). There are plenty of great places to live where'll you'll be welcomed for just being you. Good luck.

[GateandGarden]

I just wanted to thank everyone for letting me vent. I was just livid and frustrated yesterday.No problem at all! :)

[GateandGarden]

And what, get your house burned down? IMO, you can't win in a place like that. Get the hell out of that pudunk, small minded ****hole(and I grew up in a pudunk, small minded ****hole!). There are plenty of great places to live where'll you'll be welcomed for just being you. Good luck.That's pretty much how I feel, too. I'd rather focus my energy on getting everything done that I need to get done here so I can leave at some point. I can't change people's minds here. They're not ready to be open-minded. It won't happen in my lifetime.

[WelshWitchPMD]

I am sorry that this happened to you. Some kind of 'Christians" huh? :confused:
Hopefully it is meant to be and you will have much success at your new job!

[jwd]

I can't change people's minds here. They're not ready to be open-minded. It won't happen in my lifetime.

Hillary, it's a good thing that people like Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks never felt like that.

Rosa Parks:

http://www.alabamamoments.state.al.us/sec55det.html

[GateandGarden]

Hillary, it's a good thing that people like Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks never felt like that.

Rosa Parks:

http://www.alabamamoments.state.al.us/sec55det.htmlI understand your point but I think most would agree that they have to take care of themselves. I'm not into the idea of living in fear.


EDIT: Oh wait. I already do. I actually forgot for a tenth of a second. :rolleyes:

[dudden22]

This is just me, and everyone has their own way of handling things. BUT, if it was my home, and my job, and that's where I wanted to be, I'D FIGHT! F*** the running ****! There's a time when one has to stand up for what is right!

Good luck my friend.


If I planned on staying here, and my entire family didn't live here, I would definately fight. I have two years of school left and then I am out. If I lose this job over my former employer I will see what my options are as far as harrassment. If my only option is going public, then I doubt I will do that. Maybe if I wanted to stay here I would.

[jwd]

I understand your point but I think most would agree that they have to take care of themselves. I'm not into the idea of living in fear.

I totally understand. Like I said before, everyone has their own way of dealing with things.

[jwd]

If I planned on staying here, and my entire family didn't live here, I would definately fight. I have two years of school left and then I am out. If I lose this job over my former employer I will see what my options are as far as harrassment. If my only option is going public, then I doubt I will do that. Maybe if I wanted to stay here I would.


I just wanted to make sure you understood that my "stand your ground and fight" opinion, was just that, an opinion. It was not a criticism at all. Whatever you decide to do, I very much hope that it works out for you.

[dudden22]

I just wanted to make sure you understood that my "stand your ground and fight" opinion, was just that, an opinion. It was not a criticism at all. Whatever you decide to do, I very much hope that it works out for you.

I completely understand, No worries. It killed me to not fight more the first time. The only option I had at the time was to go public, since I am not going to stay here and I have family members to think I about, I chose not to. It have always considered myself a fighter and it was very hard to just let go.

I did buy them a years membership to the Human Rights Campaign though. They got a card thanking them for their help in advancing gay rights and monthly newsletter.

[jwd]

I did buy them a years membership to the Human Rights Campaign though. They got a card thanking them for their help in advancing gay rights and monthly newsletter.

:lol: That's classic!

[SteveMacD]

Holy crap. I actually find myself stunned by that kind of behavior. I didn't even think it existed anymore. I work in the news media in Canada (read: just about as liberal as you can find!). Between my own work place's pledge as an equal opportunity employer (be it to people of colour, disability, sexual orientation, religion, etc) and my government on the verge of legalizing same sex marriage across the country (it is legal in many provinces already), it just shocks and angers me that peopel are still discriminated against like this.
What I thought was funny is that on the same week eleven states passed state constitutional bans on same-sex marriage, Saskatchewan legalized it. And why not? Saskatchewan needs the tourism money! Of course, Paul Martin and company better act ASAP on the same-sex legislation or Stephen Harper might get enough support to block such a piece of legislation... :lol: I'm sorry, but it's hard to type that with a straight face. Like Stephen Harper can block anything. The guy's like Wiley Coyote. Give him a gun, and it explodes in his face.

[GateandGarden]

I did buy them a years membership to the Human Rights Campaign though. They got a card thanking them for their help in advancing gay rights and monthly newsletter.That was such a great idea!!! :thumbsup: