Needin' Ledgie prayers...

[estranged4life]

my Mother's health has deteriorated tonight, And I hope to not lose her :distress: (I cannot imagine how my sisters Chris & Lesa will feel that there's a chance they could lose their birth Mom before being physically reunited) ...I am trying to not cry but I feel a good one coming.

Please keep my family in your thoughts tonight :distress:

If I disappear and ya don't see me around for a few days I will be doing what is expected of me during her illness...Which is being a son for his Mother :distress:

[amber]

You are in my prayers. :(

[Janet]

Many many many many prayers are headed your way.

Stay strong and remember that whatever happens, it was meant to happen. You can lean on us to vent to as much as you want, with good news or not.

:angel: here is an angel of strength for you.

[Johnny Stew]

Your mother, you, and your family will all be in my thoughts and prayers, Brian. {{{BIG HUGS}}}

[GypsySorcerer]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Brian.

[WelshWitchPMD]

Brian you and your family are in my prayers.

[tynan88]

Stay strong Brian, I am a religious person and say to you that God doesn't hand us tasks we can't handle, good luck and you are in my prayers.

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

Sorry to hear this Brian. My thoughts are with you and your family

Pip

[GODDESS6]

tons of prayers & good thoughts your way!!!! :angel: ~

[SuzeQuze]

:angel: My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours, Brian. :angel:

[CrystalVisions]

Much love and prayers, and big hugs, for you and your family, Brian... :angel:

[skcin]

Brian,

I'll be thinking of you today. Hope everything works out for you & your family.

[Kelly]

I am so sorry to hear about this Brian. It seems like when it rains, it pours. I hope your sisters made it in safely, I am sure they will bring your Mother much comfort in this time of need. Many prayers and good thoughts your way. Keep the faith...things will work out as they are supposed to.

[Kelly]

I am so sorry to hear about this Brian. It seems like when it rains, it pours. I hope your sisters made it in safely. I am sure they will bring your Mother much comfort in this time of need. Many prayers and good thoughts your way. Keep the faith...things will work out as they are meant to.

[DrummerDeanna]

Brian - you can bet that you and your family will be in my prayers :nod:

I'm really sorry to hear about your mother - this sounds like it's about the last thing you need right now....so I hope that your mom pulls through ok :o

[Pisces Queen]

Brian ~ your Ledge family supports and prays for you & your mom. :angel:

[WildInTheWind]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother Brian. Hopefully everything works out....I'll be thinking of your family and mother.

[wondergirl9847]

You KNOW you can count on me for prayers, dude. Hang in there and know we are ALL thinking about her and you right now.

[GateandGarden]

You and your family are in my thoughts, Brian.

[dissention]

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts, Brian, and I hope that things start to turn the corner. Stay strong.

[tommer]

so sorry to hear that, hope everything's gonna be alright. :xoxo:

[heyjupiter678]

I'm so sorry to hear this, Brian. All of you guys are in my thoughts.

[gldstwmn]

Of course. :angel:

[HomerMcvie]

You'll be in my thoughts. I've been through it, and I know it's very hard.

[madformac]

I don't need to say "be strong" Brian because we all know just how strong you and Debs are.. :nod:

Your family will be in my thoughts tonight, no question.. Hang on in there man...

[ontheEdgeof17]

Take care, my friend! :wavey:

[seteca]

Brian,

You & your family are in my thoughts and prayers tonight. I pray for it to all turn out well and for God to give you & your family the strength you need.

[golddustwoman77]

I'm sorry to hear about that, Brian. I'll be praying for you and your family. :angel:

[ShangriLaTroubl]

Best wishes Brian...I'll pray for your mother and your family..

Chris

[77Rumours77]

I am so sorry to hear that Brian,
You and your family are in my prayers. :angel:

[mondaymornin1]

You and your family are in my prayers!

<<<<hugs>>>>>>

[BTFLCHLD]

In GOD We Trust
It'll work itself out fine
Brian xoox

________>this is me runnin to give you hugs :blob1:
(runnin so fast i lost my legs!)

[estranged4life]

my Mother is slowly improving (Just talked to the nurse assigned to my Mother at MRMC...Mom is now alert & restless, Which is a good sign of improvement for us) so hopefully the worse has passed :nod:

Thanks again for your prayers...It was much appreciated :nod:

[dissention]

my Mother is slowly improving (Just talked to the nurse assigned to my Mother at MRMC...Mom is now alert & restless, Which is a good sign of improvement for us) so hopefully the worse has passed :nod:

Thanks again for your prayers...It was much appreciated :nod:

Good news!!

I hope your family is a little relaxed now that she's improving. :woohoo:

[GateandGarden]

my Mother is slowly improving (Just talked to the nurse assigned to my Mother at MRMC...Mom is now alert & restless, Which is a good sign of improvement for us) so hopefully the worse has passed :nod:

Thanks again for your prayers...It was much appreciated :nod:Wonderful news! Thanks for updating us. As, Josh said, I hope y'all can relax a bit now.

[wondergirl9847]

Great news, Brian!! She's a strong lady I'm sure, judging by you...she'll do just fine. :)

[SuzeQuze]

Woo hoo!!! I'm so glad and relieved to hear this. :woohoo: Thanks for the update. :)

[LEATHER & LACE]

My thoughts are with you at this time of deep thought and sorrow. May you somehow hold on to the joy you have being your mother's son. Truly, a good mother cannot be replaced by any superstar, for they are what came before everything. The one you look up to, walk toward, reach out too, go to for comfort and later in life, try to make proud, try to protect and try to hold on forever. May your faith comfort you and that which your mother instilled in you help you through this terrifically, difficult time.

[WelshWitchPMD]

Good news!!

I hope your family is a little relaxed now that she's improving. :woohoo:


That is great to hear this news, Brian!

[sodascouts]

You're in my prayers, too.

[GypsySorcerer]

my Mother is slowly improving (Just talked to the nurse assigned to my Mother at MRMC...Mom is now alert & restless, Which is a good sign of improvement for us) so hopefully the worse has passed :nod:

Thanks again for your prayers...It was much appreciated :nod:

Great news! Keep us posted when you can, and I'm still sending good thoughts your family's way.

[David]

my Mother is slowly improving (Just talked to the nurse assigned to my Mother at MRMC...Mom is now alert & restless, Which is a good sign of improvement for us) so hopefully the worse has passedFantastic!
How's she doing today?

[DrummerDeanna]

my Mother is slowly improving (Just talked to the nurse assigned to my Mother at MRMC...Mom is now alert & restless, Which is a good sign of improvement for us) so hopefully the worse has passed :nod:

Thanks again for your prayers...It was much appreciated :nod:

good to hear - I hope she continues to improve :nod:

[estranged4life]

Fantastic!
How's she doing today?

she had to undergo surgery again today to clean up more of the infection from her perforated bowel (Thanks to those medical asshats for not detecting that after her initial surgery last Monday the 7th).

I hate MRMC (A worthless medical facility if there ever was one), a couple of years ago they replaced my Mother's knee with an artificial knee, But the replaced knee was contaminated, So she developed an infection and had to have the contaminated knee replaced with yet another artificial knee.

As for me I feel very ill this afternoon, I cannot tell if I have severe arthritis or if I have something like the flu (I'm not sick or nauseated...Just a warm sensation is all) but I am moving around today like a 'touring welsh witch with a sore hip...sans the moon boots & black dress' :nod:

Brian "Hell, I could even be dying...But the sense humor remains healthy" j.

[Livia]

Glad to hear she's doing better, hang in there, Brian! You're both in my prayers. Hospitals always make me nauseous. Bleech.... :xoxo:

[tuigirl]

All the best to you and your family Brian, hope things get better soon.

[Janet]

You and your mother are both in my prayers.

[estranged4life]

and medical staffs that seem to change their @$#^%&* stories, So I plan to make a trip tomorrow to find out what the f**k is up....Is my Mom healing or is she slippin' away due to a possible O.R. f**kup, So let's just say right now I am pissed to the point of killing! :mad:

[GateandGarden]

and medical staffs that seem to change their @$#^%&* stories, So I plan to make a trip tomorrow to find out what the f**k is up....Is my Mom healing or is she slippin' away due to a possible O.R. f**kup, So let's just say right now I am pissed to the point of killing! :mad:Gosh, I hate it when they don't give it to you straight or they f*ck things up for whatever reason. I'll be thinking about y'all and hoping for the best.

[SuzeQuze]

Gosh, I hate it when they don't give it to you straight or they f*ck things up for whatever reason. I'll be thinking about y'all and hoping for the best.

Randi left the hospital 2 days early after her hystorectomy because she couldn't stand it, and she was supposedly at one of the best hospitals. I hope that your Mom is healing. It's so awful when healthcare is badly botched, you'll remain in my thoughts and prayers!

[estranged4life]

off to Muskogee to find out what the f**k is up with my Mother's medical condition...If ya dont hear from me here on the Ledge for a few days there's a good bet I may be needing a good bail-bondsman :eek: :mad:

My Mom is having yet her 4th surgery this afternoon at 1PM...So after talking to my older siblings (Lesa & Geary) I will wait until possibly this weekend to make it to Muskogee...Mainly so Geary & myself can keep each other out of trouble if/when the proverbial '**** hits the fan'.

[wondergirl9847]

I'll be praying for you mom, Brian. :)

[estranged4life]

that if I chewed metal I would spit nails...Those asshats in Muskogee are goin' to pay!!! They caused my Mother to 'blue code' during her 4th operation since March 7th!!!!

How in the hell can a hospital turn a minor surgery (Hernia) into a total clusterf**k? According to what the Dr. told my older brother Geary that our Mother may not make it through the night, So I am off to Muskogee as soon as Deb gets home.

Keep me in your thoughts and PRAY for my Mother, I dont need to lose yet another parent without being able to at least say "Goodbye"...And Yes, I am crying as I type this :(

When will life ever stop being so goddamn cruel??

[mondaymornin1]

:distress: :distress: :distress:

So sorry, Brian. Your mom, you, and your family remain in my prayers.

[wondergirl9847]

Brian, I pray that your mom pulls through this mess. I'm so sorry to hear this is happening. We will all be praying and thinking about you. :(

[SuzeQuze]

that if I chewed metal I would spit nails...Those asshats in Muskogee are goin' to pay!!! They caused my Mother to 'blue code' during her 4th operation since March 7th!!!!

How in the hell can a hospital turn a minor surgery (Hernia) into a total clusterf**k? According to what the Dr. told my older brother Geary that our Mother may not make it through the night, So I am off to Muskogee as soon as Deb gets home.

Keep me in your thoughts and PRAY for my Mother, I dont need to lose yet another parent without being able to at least say "Goodbye"...And Yes, I am crying as I type this :(

When will life ever stop being so goddamn cruel??

Oh no, I am soooo sorry. My Mom has a hernia and is arranging a surgery soon, she had her appointment with the surgeon today. This is so scary.

I will be praying really hard for your Mom, Brian! :angel: :angel: :angel: She is one tough cookie and has a great chance of pulling through. I also put a call into some very special and spiritual ladies I know to help pray for you and yours.

[estranged4life]

I lost my Mother just less than 45 minutes ago...I am on my way to Muskogee to take charge until my brother & sisters can make it in.

I have cried more in 15 minutes than I have in years.

Keep me & my family in your thoughts...I cannot even comprehend how my sister Lesa feels, She finds her Mother after all this time and never got to hug her or say "I love you" face-to-face.

Take care my friends, I will return...

RIP Beverly S.Johnson
March 12,1944-March 21,2005

I will always love you & have you in my heart :(

[madformac]

I'm really so sorry for your family Brian.. I have no idea why the hell life can be so cruel to such good people.

I'm sure everyone here sends you their deepest sympathies and I'll have you all in my thoughts tonight.. Please take care of yourself and especially your sister too.

There's not much more I can say man.. I'm just so sorry.

Hang in there Brian.

Regards,

Justin.

[ontheEdgeof17]

Anything I would type would be cliche....but you are your family are in my thoughts. Take Care.

[dissention]

I lost my Mother just less than 45 minutes ago...I am on my way to Muskogee to take charge until my brother & sisters can make it in.

I have cried more in 15 minutes than I have in years.

Keep me & my family in your thoughts...I cannot even comprehend how my sister Lesa feels, She finds her Mother after all this time and never got to hug her or say "I love you" face-to-face.

Take care my friends, I will return...

RIP Beverly S.Johnson
March 12,1944-March 21,2005

I will always love you & have you in my heart :(

Oh, Brian. I'm not able to say anything that wouldn't sound cliched or very comforting at this point, but my heart goes out to you and your family, sweetheart. I'll keep you in my thoughts and you have my deepest condolences.

[CrystalVisions]

I lost my Mother just less than 45 minutes ago...I am on my way to Muskogee to take charge until my brother & sisters can make it in.

I have cried more in 15 minutes than I have in years.

Keep me & my family in your thoughts...I cannot even comprehend how my sister Lesa feels, She finds her Mother after all this time and never got to hug her or say "I love you" face-to-face.

Take care my friends, I will return...

RIP Beverly S.Johnson
March 12,1944-March 21,2005

I will always love you & have you in my heart :(

Brian, I am so very sorry...this is such overwhelmingly sad news...I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you, sending you sympathy and love...and that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family. I'm so sorry. :(

[wondergirl9847]

I cannot imagine how difficult today was for you, Brian. My condolences to you and your family.

[heyjupiter678]

Oh, Brian, I am so sorry for your loss. :distress: You and your family will be in my thoughts. Please take care.

[amber]

Brian, I'm so sorry.
R.I.P.

[GypsySorcerer]

Brian, I'm so, so sorry. I know I cannot tell you anything that will make you feel better. :( Your entire family is in my thoughts.

[greatdarkwing]

Brian, you and your family are in my prayers....We're here if you need us...

~Alex

[Hawkeye]

I have never gotten so sad over reading a thread on The Ledge as I just have now. I know it can't compare to how bad you must feel, but It was just over a matter of like 2 minutes I went from reading how she was real sick, then she got much better, then the doctor screwed up, then code blue, then 2 posts later she died, and I seriosly cried for the first time here. And the added thing about the lost daughter. I'm so sorry Brian.

[wondergirl9847]

Here is the link for the American Cancer Society if anyone would like to donate in Brian's mom's (Beverly) name.

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/home/index.asp

Another idea:

http://www.arborday.org/join/tictim/index.cfm

[Dreammms]

Brian,

I am truly sorry....

[CreepingDeath]

Brian, I'm so sorry to hear this. :(

You and your family are in my thoughts.

[macfanken]

My condolences... what an awful thing. I'm really sorry.

Ken

[WelshWitchPMD]

Brian. I am so sorry. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[tuigirl]

Really sorry to hear about your loss Brian (had one myself not so long ago, so I know how you feel)..condolences to you and all your family.

[Mari]

Damn... I'm so sorry for you and your family. My condoleances, lots of strength for the next couple of days.

[tynan88]

Brian nothing I can say or feel will make things better, but know that if I could, I wouldn't hesitate. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[skcin]

I'm so sorry Brian. :distress:

[Livia]

I'm so sorry Brian....my thoughts are with you and yours.

~*~*~I see her walk on water....head held up high...playing in God's garden~*~*~

(S. Nicks) :angel:

[seteca]

I am so sorry to hear this terrible news, my friend.

You and all your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[David]

You're one of everybody's favorite people here, Brian -- we all are terribly sorry about your dear mom's passing. Our sincerest condolences to you & your sibs & your whole family.

[Lisa1769]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mother, Brian. You'll be in my prayers.

[SuzeQuze]

If anyone has Brian's address could you please PM it to me? I would like to send him something. Thanks.

[WelshWitchPMD]

If anyone has Brian's address could you please PM it to me? I would like to send him something. Thanks.

Done. check your PMs

[DrummerDeanna]

I have been off-line for several days - and have just got caught up.

Brian - I am so sorry to hear about your mother :distress: I don't really know what to say - I feel so sad for you and your family - you are in my thoughts.

[Janet]

I am so sorry. There are no words but I am so, so sorry.

[sodascouts]

Oh, I'm so sorry, Brian.

[estranged4life]

from what had to be the worst week in my life, I am emotionally spent.

I cried more this past week than I have my entire life, I now have neither parent living and I dont comprehend why that is.

I dont know how long it will take for me to recover from this, We still have to sort out her belongings that she left us with (Seems I will inherit her music collection :( )

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers, But I am numb to emotion...the tears have taken that away.

Brian j.

ps-The album cover to Nightwish's "Once" is an appropriate description of how I am feeling in general...

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

My thoughts are with you Brain. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss

Pip

[wondergirl9847]

I know that words cannot express how you feel inside. Losing a loved one is emotionally draining, and I cannot even imagine losing your parents. :(

My thoughts and prayers are still with you and your family, Brian.

[GODDESS6]

:angel: omgoodness i just read this farther & saw the terrible news, brian u have been very kind 2 me & i am so sorry 2 hear of your sad news, VERY SORRY~ u & your family will b in my thoughts & prayers :angel:

[GateandGarden]

:angel: omgoodness i just read this farther & saw the terrible news, brian u have been very kind 2 me & i am so sorry 2 hear of your sad news, VERY SORRY~ u & your family will b in my thoughts & prayers :angel:I just found this thread again as well. Jill said it. You've been very kind to us all and I hate for bad things to happen to good people. As David said, you are much loved here. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[GypsySorcerer]

I'm still keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers, Brian.

[estranged4life]

this up again, Doesnt seem like it has been 1 month since my Mother passed on from this life...Seems like it has been much longer.

I still love & miss her...Someday I will come to terms with her death, But I'll never get over it.

[msLinds]

I am sorry to hear about your Mother Brian passing away.I will say some prayers for her and You and Your family.

[wondergirl9847]

I can't believe it's been a month already. Your mom is always with ya, Brian. :angel:

[estranged4life]

1 year since I lost my Mother...Just doesnt seem right that 12 months have passed since the last March 21st.

It hasnt gotten any easier, But I'm sure as time goes by it will (It was easier with my Dad's death since I was only 7 years old at the time)...

I cant help but dwell on her death daily, She died way too early, She should have had plenty of more years left and should have passed on her own terms, Not the way it ended...

But life goes on even if it does sometimes feel unfair...I never take anything or anyone for granted and I enjoy the trivial and simplistic things (Been through too much **** the last few years...I guess the "Big Dude" upstairs likes to challenge me, And yet I am still here..."Bring it on" is all I can say!)

I love you Mom, Hope you're having the time of your life in the afterlife...I'll see you someday.

Brian j.

[amber]

1 year since I lost my Mother...Just doesnt seem right that 12 months have passed since the last March 21st.

It hasnt gotten any easier, But I'm sure as time goes by it will (It was easier with my Dad's death since I was only 7 years old at the time)...

I cant help but dwell on her death daily, She died way too early, She should have had plenty of more years left and passed on her own terms, Not the way it ended...

But life goes on even if it does sometimes feel unfair...I never take anything or anyone for granted and I enjoy the trivial and simplistic things (Been through too much **** the last few years...I guess the "Big Dude" upstairs likes to challenge me, And yet I am still here..."Bring it on" is all I can say!)

I love you Mom, Hope you're having the time of your life in the afterlife...I'll see you someday.

Brian j.


:xoxo: :xoxo: :xoxo: :xoxo:

[Red]

Hang in there Brian, this isn't an easy time. Try to seek solace in Debbie and your siblings. My thoughts are with you. :xoxo:

[CelticGypsy]

Brian,

My heart goes out to you and your family. This is still new to you but someday you will be able to look at her photos or see a video she was in and smile and not shed any tears while remembering her beautiful face and sweet voice.
It will be six years since my wonderful mom passed away ( March 23) but it sometimes feel just like it happened yesterday. Be strong and remember we are always here with you. Your mom is smiling down upon you and shouting from the Heavens what a sweet and wonderful son she has. God bless



1 year since I lost my Mother...Just doesnt seem right that 12 months have passed since the last March 21st.

It hasnt gotten any easier, But I'm sure as time goes by it will (It was easier with my Dad's death since I was only 7 years old at the time)...

I cant help but dwell on her death daily, She died way too early, She should have had plenty of more years left and should have passed on her own terms, Not the way it ended...

But life goes on even if it does sometimes feel unfair...I never take anything or anyone for granted and I enjoy the trivial and simplistic things (Been through too much **** the last few years...I guess the "Big Dude" upstairs likes to challenge me, And yet I am still here..."Bring it on" is all I can say!)

I love you Mom, Hope you're having the time of your life in the afterlife...I'll see you someday.

Brian j.

[madformac]

Is it really 12 months? My goodness how quick time goes by.

It's odd you know. In cases where even a close friend of mine has lost a loved one, and this might sound awful, I tend to maybe not remember as I probably should. However, it's different here with you Brian. I think both the circumstances involved and the fact you are so well liked around here means most Ledgies offer real and genuine sympathy. You have had an awful time of it and I extend my sympathies to yourself, Debbie and your family at this difficult time. Stay strong dude. :wavey:

[GypsySorcerer]

My thoughts are with you and yours today, Brian. Take care.

[jannieC]

Time is the only healer with this, and you've only had one year, Brian. My heart does go out to you, because I can still remember how it felt when I lost my dad (20 years ago, when I was 17). Take all the time you need to grieve today. xo

[GODDESS6]

1 year since I lost my Mother...Just doesnt seem right that 12 months have passed since the last March 21st.

It hasnt gotten any easier, But I'm sure as time goes by it will (It was easier with my Dad's death since I was only 7 years old at the time)...

I cant help but dwell on her death daily, She died way too early, She should have had plenty of more years left and should have passed on her own terms, Not the way it ended...

But life goes on even if it does sometimes feel unfair...I never take anything or anyone for granted and I enjoy the trivial and simplistic things (Been through too much **** the last few years...I guess the "Big Dude" upstairs likes to challenge me, And yet I am still here..."Bring it on" is all I can say!)

I love you Mom, Hope you're having the time of your life in the afterlife...I'll see you someday.

Brian j.
awww brian bless you, it doesn't seem like a yr you are right, but your mother should feel comfort in what a great son you are & carrying her memory on~ & as a child who has also lost a parent, april 15th it'll be 21 yrs since my father passed, tho the saddness doesn't go away, it does give way to wonderful memories & does get just a bit easier, i wish the same for you:angel: :xoxo: :xoxo: ~

[eclipse]

Brian- I want to share something with you...and everyone on here. I guess as hard as it is to lose someone that you love- I have honestly come to the conclusion that when your time is up it's up. Whether you are in an airline crash, car accident, or surgery, or just sitting in a chair on a sunny day. I don't know if that is fatalistic, but it helps me to make sense of senseless deaths- I just think if your Mom hadn't been where she was that day and she was someplace else, she still would have died because it was her time.

For example. I read in the paper this terrible story about how a few women went out partying- got buzzed- knew better than to drive home so they called a cab. Cab picks them up, (cab driver is another woman who is 7 months pregnant), they start their journey and some idiot-drunk-loser- runs through a stop sign Hits the cab- kills one of the passengers intantly, Breaks the Cabbie's pelvis-emergency c-section for the baby- Baby dies, two other people in the cab are in the hospital; with life threating injuries..... It makes no sense, and it is so very sad.
I have always believed that things happen to us for a reason, and although we can't see the reason until much later...there is actually some sense to it.

I was so sad when I lost my Dad, heartbroken felt like he should have lived for a lot longer, but he didn't. However, because of his death, my Mom and I have become much closer``which more than likely would not have happened had he not died`` With his passing he brought us closer -
I don't know if I am explaining thsi correctly but all I am trying to say is that you have to keep going, your Mom would have wanted that and you know that.
Brian, your time is not here yet, it could be in a year or it could be in 30 years but when your number is up- it's up. So live every day that you are here--and be sad because your Mom is gone, but please...stay strong!
hugs,
~~eclipse~~

[wondergirl9847]

My friend, my thoughts are with you today. (((HUGS))) I also cannot believe it's been a year already. 2005 was a very difficult year, but as time goes on, the pain will subside, but the love will never die.

Just last week, we passed the 7 month anniversary of my cousin's death. :( I feel like I'm living in fast forward these days.

I pray that this year will be your best ever and peace overwhelms you. :)

[estranged4life]

I feel like I'm living in fast forward these days.


the best description of my life since last March (Cant remember the Keith Urban concert we both saw on March 10th in OKC...Those memories are absolutely buried under the rest of the month of March), my life is in fast forward mode. I can now safely say I understand the lyrics to the Dream Theater song "These Walls".

It is shocking that at age 35 I have neither parent and no grand-parents among the living (In 2007 I will be the same age my Father was when he died)..."Isnt that weird?" :shrug:

As for what eclipse said about "when your time is up...it's up". I believe that...Always have and will. I have to live with the guilt daily (As do 2 of my older siblings) that Mom called each of us and asked us if she should have this "elective surgery" to calm her fear (According to her own physicians records she should "Have no foreseeable problems by having the procedure performed at this time") and I told her if it will make her feel better to "go for it".

I also have the guilt of the last conversation I ever had with my Mom, On March 9th, When Mom told me on the phone "I think I am going to die...", I responded with "No you're not...You're too f**king mean to die..." (Again, Trying to relax my Mom's fear), to which she responded "I know..." (She was more worried about my health woes during that last phone conversation than she was with her own...)

I can handle her death in a way, But sure as I sit her and type, I will not let what happened to my Mother happen to another family due to some medical "incompetence".

[SuzeQuze]

...Mom called each of us and asked us if she should have this "elective surgery" to calm her fear (According to her own physicians records she should "Have no foreseeable problems by having the procedure performed at this time") and I told her if it will make her feel better to "go for it".

I know its hard but you can't beat yourself up about supporting her in the surgery. You had no way of knowing the outcome. My Mom had hernia surgery and thank God she is fine. I had to keep what happened to your Mom from her so she wouldn't be scared. If I'd lost her I couldn't have blamed myself for that but probably would've too.

I can't imagine how hard what you've gone through has been. You have already healed so much that it's amazing. I hope the incompetent pay for their blundering.

...I also have the guilt of the last conversation I ever had with my Mom, On March 9th, When Mom told me on the phone "I think I am going to die...", I responded with "No you're not...You're too f**king mean to die..." (Again, Trying to relax my Mom's fear)...

There is no way you could let yourself believe your Mom would die while she was in the hospital and no way you could let her believe it. No one could, she just had to get better, and it really sucks that she didn't. It was so shocking. Your Mom probably gets a chuckle about that line because it is just so you.

[DavidMn]

Of course Brian, no problem.:angel:

[stargazer99]

Brian, I'm so sorry. I'm lucky enough to still have both of my parents with me. But I can imagine how hard it is for you. And I'm sure time doesn't make it any easier. I hope you get through this first anniversary without too much anquish.

[estranged4life]

Yet another year has gone by since I lost my Mom - Just wanted to thank everyone for being there for me, cause otherwise I wouldnt be here.

I still have ALL the sympathy cards that were sent from my Ledgie family, and those meant alot to me :xoxo:

So thanks... :nod:


I'm FINALLY accepting her death, just not the way she passed on (I have the 400+ page medical report next to me in a large box - all I can say is I had nightmares about some of the stuff in those records). Couldnt find justice for Mom via a lawsuit (The lawyer agrees that there was "severe gross negligence" but the hospital would've played the 'morbid obesity' card.) But that's fine - As Mom always LOVED to say "Dont worry, they'll get theirs when they least expect".

With some luck I think I may get through today without crying, just have to try to go forward as best as I can. At least I have family who love me (Quirks and all unconditionally) and my Ledge family who cares.... and I have TONS of music to look forward to enjoying.

Brian j.

ps-Btw, I cant wait to update the signature picture below. My sister Lesa bought an eternal light (A blue one - Which I now call "Mom's Blue Light Special", hey she loved K-Mart!) to place at Mom's grave - and it looks badass at night.

[Little Nicki]

but the hospital would've played the 'morbid obesity' card

People whose obesity has risen to "morbid" levels likely wouldn't live all that long anyway. With or without severe gross negligence. My condolences though.

[estranged4life]

People whose obesity has risen to "morbid" levels likely wouldn't live all that long anyway. With or without severe gross negligence. My condolences though.

I agree that morbid obesity can cause death more readily with or without severe gross negligence - But of course the hospital is going to use that ploy to cover their ass in a matter of liabilty, since they are the ones who originally caused my Mother to become 'mobidly obese' (I have it in print/on paper in the hospitals own records that admit that her weight gain was caused by "a previous surgery in 1986 they had performed that was improperly followed up upon").



Btw, Thanks for your condolences :nod:

[GODDESS6]

bless you brian, my thoughts are w/ you~

[GypsySorcerer]

My thoughts are with you today, Brian. :xoxo:

[JazmenFlowers]

Yet another year has gone by
thinking of you and your family. best wishes to you.

the only lamp left on...was a blue light...

[SuzeQuze]

I agree that morbid obesity can cause death more readily with or without severe gross negligence - But of course the hospital is going to use that ploy to cover their ass in a matter of liabilty, since they are the ones who originally caused my Mother to become 'mobidly obese' (I have it in print/on paper in the hospitals own records that admit that her weight gain was caused by "a previous surgery in 1986 they had performed that was improperly followed up upon").



Btw, Thanks for your condolences :nod:

Then I think your lawyer is being a p-word. And as far as Little Nicki's comment about her "not living long anyway" - how callous. You don't say that about someone's mother, jeez.

Brian, you've come so far! :xoxo:

[estranged4life]

Then I think your lawyer is being a p-word.

Brian, you've come so far! :xoxo:

is great, but I see his point in the hospital wanting to play that card on us (Mom's medical records would go along with the hospital's ploy - but I still find it 'amusing' that the hospitals own records admit her weight gain was caused by he 1986 surgery they performed). We discussed all the options and there wasnt much left for us to do - But that's fine, like I said "Don't worry, they'll get theirs when the least expect".

I do find it ironic that MRMC is for sale by the city of Muskogee, but there's been no interest by in-state buyers (Such as Mercy & Intergris - who both own/operate some of the best hospitals in OK) - Maybe because of the amount of liability suits they have yet to settle (Heh, my Mom sued 'em back in 1978 after they left a surgical sponge in her after a minor gall bladder surgery. The sponge went gangrene and nearly killed my Mom.)

For the record, here's the list of screwups caused by MRMC to my Mother:

1. In mid-1977, MRMC (Then known as Muskogee General Hospital) during a gall bladder removal surgery, left a surgical sponge inside my Mom that eventually went gangrene.

Mom had to be reopened, and nearly died from the infection caused by gangrene. Her bowels were left at risk from the infection.

In Oct.1977, my whole family (Mom, Dad, Granny, my 2 older brothers & myself) were involved in a car wreck on Oct.22nd due to some Oklahoma State Senator's drunken f**khat son swurving into our lane (Dont you love how politicians file suit against a family to cover their own families ass? Yeah, that caused my HATRED of politicians!!!)

Dad, who was driving, died from the impact - He went through the steering column, hit the windshield and momentum carried him back through his seat....The seat split in half and impacted INTO Mom's abdomen since she was sitting directly behind Dad. Mom was split open at the abdomen, She nearly bled to death. Mom's injuries were so severe (She also suffered a fractured leg and arm - she nearly lost her leg, which led to the surgery in 2002 - read on below for that story) she had to have 13" of her large intestines (aka colon) removed since portions of the seat were still imbedded into her body.

2. Botched the 1986 hysterecomy (Still awaiting for those records to know the full details of that surgery. I do know from the records I do have that her large intestine was 'accidently' perforated and after the perforation was corrected that 'excessive scar tissue' started to form)

3. MRMC overdosed my Mom on codeine during her recovery from the hysterecomy surgery which damaged her heart - My Mom's medical charts CLEARLY listed codeine as her main allergy, but yet the dumbass RN gave her a does without looking at her chart, which caused my Mom to go into cardiac arrest (I was there for that whole event) and thus injuring her heart.

4. In 2002 MRMC replaced her knee joint, but MRMC did not properly check my Mom's blood work pre-surgery to see if she had any type of infection - Mom had an abscessed tooth recently removed (Said so in the hospitals own records) and that small abscess caused a major infection that spread to her new knee joint, which had to be removed. Thus she laid in bed in a nursing home for 2 months waiting for the infection to subside before a new knee joint could be installed (Yes, she had no simblance of a knee for 2 months)

Funny, Mom decided to avoid any more infections from her teeth, so she had all her teeth removed and bought new dentures.

5. Minor hernia surgery (w/scar tissue removal from the 1986 hysterecomy) - which turned into a clusterf**k since the O.R. staff perforated her bowel, but they thought the increasing pain in Mom's chest (Days after the surgery) was being caused by her damaged heart. Thus they waited a week to do exploratory surgery to FINALLY notice green fungus and green fluid had built up on her colon.

The lab work sheets (Which I have in my possession) showed she developed an infection during/after the surgery, the lab worked showed she DID NOT have an infection before the surgery was performed on March 7th (Again, that is according to MRMC's own medical records).

All the doctor (Who left town immediately after the surgery for 'vacation time') had to do was run the length of her intestine after the hernia surgery to check for perforations. On March 15th my brother Geary, sister Lesa, Debbie & myself argued with those f**ks to check to see if her intestine may have been perforated since Mom was developing pressure in her abdomen/chest - Of course MRMC told Debbie & Lesa "No, the doctors did not perforate her colon". Debbie argued with the nurse on the other end of my cellphone, the asshole nurse clearly said "I guarantee you the doctor said she does not have a perforation".

Funny, the death certificate & March 22 autopsy said otherwise. Maybe that is why Dr._________ was carrying around Mom's medical records in his possession during August 2005, and why he wanted 'desparately' to go over the autopsy results with Lesa (He sure was nervous on that SUNDAY afternoon), thing is Lesa didnt have the authority to sign off on the autopsy results (Mom did not appoint an 'executive to her estate' since she wasnt planning on cashing in her chips on this existence), but sure nuff Dr._________ sent her via fax the results (Which is an 'ethics violation' in the state of Oklahoma.)

If Dr._________ had run the length of the intestines after the hernia surgery my Mom would still be alive and I wouldnt be boring everyone here with my long-assed stories :rolleyes: :thumbsup:

Oh, forgot to mention, Lesa is planning to send Dr._________ the board game "Operation" (But she will place a note on the game stating "Please notice there is no perforated bowel - Please leave the patient with the same" ), wanna guess who egged her on for that??? :D :lol: :laugh:

[gldstwmn]

People whose obesity has risen to "morbid" levels likely wouldn't live all that long anyway. With or without severe gross negligence.

WTF? Wrong thread. Jesus. :distress:

[BTFLCHLD]

loveya ((((Brian))))...I know how hard it hurts...
sending hugs, love and good thoughts your way.

[michelle2677]

WTF? Wrong thread. Jesus. :distress:

I think he meant, the hospital was wrong for labeling her "morbidly obese" and it was just an excuse to save their ass. or that was how I took it :shrug: meaning....if she were, in fact, then she wouldn't have lived that long..


but I could be wrong..



anyway. brian, my thoughts and prayers are with your family today and beyond. I know I'm late coming to the thread, but I was able to read it earlier today (not able to respond) but I want you to know you've been in my thoughts all day :nod: :xoxo:

[JazmenFlowers]

People whose obesity has risen to "morbid" levels likely wouldn't live all that long anyway. With or without severe gross negligence. My condolences though.
:shrug:

what? not sure what you mean. I think I see what you mean, but it's just worded weird.

[Nicks Fan]

I will keep you and yor family in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

Matt:angel: