This is funny...

[Livia]

THE FATTITUDES

In the beginning...

God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and spinach, with green
and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and
Krispy Kreme. And Satan said: "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man
said: "Yes!" And Woman said: "I'll have one too, with sprinkles."
and, lo, they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that
Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and
sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to
size 14.

So God said: "Try my fresh green garden salad." And Satan presented
crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side. And Man
and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said: "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp,
butter-dipped lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak-so big it needed
its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin
and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in animal
fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose
those extra pounds. And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote
control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man
and Woman Laughed and cried before the flickering light and started
wearing stretch jogging suits.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then Satan said: "You want fries with that?" And Man replied:
"Yes! And super size 'em!" And Satan said: It is good." And Man and Woman
went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed...and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And then...Satan chuckled and created HMOs

[DrummerDeanna]

:laugh: that was pretty damn amusing...

[amber]

That was funny! It's so weird, I was going back to the ledge to post something, and was going to title it "This is funny" and, lo, it was already there. So i'll just put it in this...

The seventeenth-century Pilgrims were religious dissidents at odds with the Church of England. Persecuted for their beliefs, some set sail for the New World in the Mayflower, seeking a sanctuary to practice their spiritual principles in peace. They sighted land after 66 days. A few of them wanted to cruise south along the coast to Virginia, where the English Crown had promised them a grant of land. But the majority overruled them in order to address the most pressing problem: They had run out of beer. And that's why the Pilgrims ended up settling on the first place they saw, the cold, rocky shore of what's now Massachusetts. Upon landing, they immediately built a brewery. This vignette is an apt metaphor for your near future, Aquarius. You, too, will be driven by idealism to seek a haven where you can more purely be yourself, but you will ultimately respond to pragmatic concerns as well.

[Janet]

Oh God so true.

I just got on the scale...God.

I am not the queen of fast food or anything, but working 55 -60 hours every week on my feet, I use food as energy..and it's bad food. I may move around and I may eat 2 times a day usually, but I am fat going on fatter.

Convenience...when you have 5 seconds to eat and you want it to last 5 hours, you don't eat a salad, you eat something bad.

:(

[amber]

Oh God so true.

I just got on the scale...God.

I am not the queen of fast food or anything, but working 55 -60 hours every week on my feet, I use food as energy..and it's bad food. I may move around and I may eat 2 times a day usually, but I am fat going on fatter.

Convenience...when you have 5 seconds to eat and you want it to last 5 hours, you don't eat a salad, you eat something bad.

:(
Yeah, it sucks. But if you really want to be full and have energy, broccoli is filling,(god, raw broccoli is soooo filling) carrots are quick and easy...A handfull of peanuts (other nuts) or beef jerky (or other meat) and you'll have more energy...for longer...because your body has actually gotten nutrients...
it's hard, but true...and you should snack on something healthy as often as possible, so your body doesn't go into "starvation, fat storing mode" from low blood sugar...you should really try to stuff something in your mouth about every 2.5 hours (something like fruit, peanuts, carrot) Sorry, I can't help offering nutritional advice. :D If you don't take calcium suppliments, you should, they help you lose weight. Also omega 3 suppliment if you don't eat fish or walnuts 3-4 times a week - that kind of fat helps your body process the other fat that is in everything else :D
It sound like your schedule is very demanding, your body will need those nutrients...
Amber "nutrition nag" G.