TMI thread. Discussion of sensitive ADULT issues/triggers. Enter with awareness!

[mezzoforte]

Originally Posted by bucklind17

I grew up reading "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret", so when the time came, I thought I was going to need a belt and all that stuff. Luckily, technology had greatly improved the system by then though and everything is so much easier these days! I don't envy the ladies who had to deal with this stuff starting with like, 25 years ago and can you imagine before plumbing, oh goodness.

Hee--I read "Are you there God? It's me, Margaret" and was totally confused by the sections about the belt--very relieved when my mother assured me that no one had used a belt in twenty years. Kind of crazy to think how many tweens Judy Blume has guided through puberty, even if some of those sections are a little outdated.

And yes, I'm very, very thankful to live in an era of plumbing and tampons. I really can't imagine how women did it. But I'm guessing our granddaughters will say the same about us in 60 years.

[mezzoforte]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

Interesting... So do you just come right out and say, "Hey Gladys, I'm on the rag. Can you help a sistah out?" Or is there some kind of unspoken hand signal or gesture that is universally understood?

Haha. Well, most women are pretty open about it with our friends. I mean, it happens to all of us one week a month--no point in being shy about it. No gestures needed (I wonder what such a gesture would look like? )
And I've had the occasional stranger in a ladies room ask me for a pad or tampon. Really nothing anyone gets fussed about!

[Nikolaj]

New questions:
1. Name 1 or 2 times that stand out in your memory as something good you did to help someone that showed a positive result quickly .
*
2. Did you ever accidentally 'walk in' on either parent when they were naked, and/or having sex? Were you traumatized? Were they?

My answers:
1. One time that first comes to mind has to do with one of the sons of my sister. He was maybe 8 years old and feeling badly because he was far behind his peers with being able to read well. His parents were having all kinds of tests done, taking him to specialists, had meetings at the school with his advisor, and he had a tutor. His mom was on the phone with the school and I was down the hall with him. His little face was all distraught because he knew he was being talked about, again.
I told him "Don't worry so much about it, they're making too big of a deal out of it. It just takes a while sometimes for your brain to catch up with you. It will. Relax and don't feel bad about it, and don't ever feel bad about yourself. You'll be reading soon and it will be like nothing. You won't even have to try. It will come very naturally to you, when you're ready. Until then, let 'em wait!" (meaning his parents and teachers, tutor and advisor at the school). He smiled, maybe a little chuckle at "Let 'em wait."
I saw him 2 weeks later and he was reading beautifully like it had never been a problem. His self-esteem generally seemed 'right there' and he wasn't an insecure child from that point on. Of course, the efforts of his parents and teachers helped him along greatly, I'm sure, but I think I 'gave' him something they hadn't.
*
2. I walked in the room once when my mom was undressed, I was maybe 11, and I turned and closed the door and walked away. As I was leaving she called out "I'm sorry" and that was that, no trauma. In fact, a couple minutes later, I went outside, where I knew she wouldn't hear me, because I knew I was going to laugh. I did.
Thankfully, no, never did walk in on my parents having sex. I heard them once, and thought 'ick', 'yuck', 'How dare they?- it's daytime'.
I was a little older, 13 or 14.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by mezzoforte

I find it endlessly amusing to hear how men envision periods :-)

Tampons are a breeze. You can't feel them at all--if you're aware of it, it's not inserted correctly. The string is REALLY firmly attached--it has to be, because if it did break off and you couldn't get it out, you'd probably have to go to the hospital (risk for toxic shock if one is left in). I never keep track of the calender, and I'm not very regular anyway. I try to keep a pad or something in most of my bags just in case, but honestly, periods are normally very, very light on the first day. At least time to find another woman who will share one.

It really is funny, how we guys have no idea of what it's like, to have a period. Just like I don't like to talk about poop, I avoid asking about things like this.

I always figured you could FEEL that something was in there, all the time. I guess it makes sense, that pulling a dry(er) one out, would be a little more painful....

[HomerMcvie]

And on walking in on your parents, mine divorced when I was nine. But, when I was about 13, I remember walking into my Mom's room, trying to make her get up, to cook me breakfast. Well, I yanked the covers off of her, and although she was alone, her short nightgown was pulled up. Way up. I can only assume she had been masturbating.....
Thanks a LOT, for making me remember THAT!!!

[HejiraNYC]

^^ I bathed with my mother and my sister at the same time in the same bathtub until I was... 7 (or thereabouts). I am forever traumatized.

[Nikolaj]

^ Hejira, was your sister older? Somehow, I think it would have been less traumatizing if she were younger than you. I'm guessing you were younger. I could be totally wrong!
Your mom must have been very progressive. Or, maybe it was a practice of 'the old country'-- that's what my relatives called our birthplace, at least.
Your memory of her 'stash' of pads gels with my memory of my Mom, also in the 1970s. I remember that they were these HUGE boxes that said 'Modess' on the outside; which made me think of 'modest' and I thought, 'well, modest maybe, but definitely not discreet!'

[APerfectLie]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

Well, it does get worse in the sense that the pancreatic beta cells producing endogenous insulin die off over time as the underlying pathology (i.e., autoimmune process) continues unabated. This invariably means having to increase meds/insulin to compensate. But, yes, it's the complications of the disease that are the most worrisome rather than the disease itself. I am confident that a cure for Type 1 diabetes that addresses it from the immune side of things will be found in our lifetimes.

Most of them are killed off by the time of diagnosis, and then there is a resurgence of them called the "honeymoon" period soon after diagnosis, but those are then killed off within weeks or months. However, for the rest of your life your body continues to make islet cells and destroy them at usually the same rate. That is why some days diabetes seems to be easier to manage, because your body has killed your cells at a slower rate, leaving a few insulin producing cells. However, aside from the honeymoon period, type one diabetics produce practically no insulin at all. Increases in insulin and meds have to do with de-sensitivity to insulin due to cellular changes in the body, such as weight gain, body growth, or lower metabolism, but not due to losing more insulin producing cells. Type 2 diabetes is however more progressive since it is caused by reduced insulin sensitivity and over increased pancreatic activity which can be followed by even more decreased sensitivity and lower pancreatic islet cell function.

Originally Posted by Nikolaj

My mom's been diabetic for about 33 years, and has been legally blind for about 5 years now.
Thanks for all the info a while back, a perfectlie. Her doctor said she isn't a candidate for the insulin pump because of her age (70s) and that while the pump is great for many diabetics, not for her. We were disappointed. So, it's still testing 3 times a day, and Novaflex 3 times a day (insulin pen) and then Lantis before bed. She's been shooting up insulin 4 times a day for many years now.
It seems now that she's older, the 'highs' aren't nearly as dangerous as the low numbers, and her doctor has adjusted the insulin so she runs a little bit high to keep her readings from being under 100. It's been working.
But it was probably the highs during the decades that caused her vision to go.
The hard part now is keeping her appetite up, so she can take the Insulin.
I think it's time for new questions, Hejira so far was the one who came up with the qs that jumpstarted this idea. Next post--

Honestly, I'd see another doctor. I understand where her doctor is coming from. She is older and has had the disease for 33 years, why put her on an insulin pump when so much damage has already been done? Why change her regimen now when she is already 70? Why worry about long term complications when she is already suffering from them? But that being said, it is her life. And she is only 70. While that may seem old, it would not be surprising if she lived another 10-20 years. I think an insulin pump would make it easier for her to control her diabetes and make the last years of her life good ones. And the body is amazing at healing itself. Utilizing an insulin pump may actually reverse some of the damage hyperglycemia has done to her body. Then again, I don't know what her medical condition is, so maybe she truly does not need an insulin pump, but a second opinion would not hurt. Many years ago, doctors gave patients insulin and told them to take it to lower their blood sugar, but not to worry too much because there was going to be a cure in the next 5-10 years. People managed their diabetes with the belief that there was going to be a cure, so they didn't manage it well. And ten years later, the cure was still 5-10 years away and they were already developing complications. I just feel her doctor is saying eh, don't worry about the high blood sugars so much, since you are going to die soon anyway. I would hate for your mom to be 80 and suffering from kidney failure that could have been prevented if she had had lower blood sugars today.

[APerfectLie]

Originally Posted by HejiraNYC

^^ I bathed with my mother and my sister at the same time in the same bathtub until I was... 7 (or thereabouts). I am forever traumatized.

That must have been a huge bathtub or you all must have been small! I don't think I could possibly fit two kids in the bath with me. Speaking of bathtubs, my sister once walked in on me taking a bath when I was 12 and she was 16, and then she proceeded to run and tell the entire family that I was masturbating while bathing even tho I wasn't!

Another embarrassing story of when I was 12. My sister dressed me up in drag and then took pictures of me. My mom then had those pictures developed and thought they were the greatest thing ever and loved to pull them out and show people. I confiscated those pics tho and now have them stored away somewhere. It's funny to me now, but back then I hated ever posing for those pics!

[Nikolaj]

^
Thanks, a perfectlie. Yes, I think we need to see a specialist or another doctor, but she's burnt out on doctors. She's almost 75, I meant "in her 70s"-- I am wondering about her kidneys, already. She's lost so much weight in one year. Though it has stabilized, she's too thin.
While a specialist would be good, it is hard enough for me to get my parents to keep their appointments- Elderly people either are very good about keeping their appointments, or tend to cancel, or postpone them. My parents fall into the latter category.
But, it's good to hear your perspective. My sister (older than me, and states away from us) wants us to get my mother on the pump, also. I suspect her doctor is maybe being lazy.

[Nikolaj]

^^
APerfectLie- funny about your sister- My sister, 5 years older than me, dressed me up as a girl once when I was about 6. My sister got punished, and my mother said in very hushed tones "I know you did that as a joke, but you will never do it again. I want you to repeat after me: I will never do it again".
Dutiful son: "I will never do it again."

I never did. It never has been discussed by my mom, my sister, or me. Until tonight on The Ledge! Ha!
My father never said a word about it to me, I would bet that my mother didn't tell him. I think she knew she had 'a problem' on her hands and had no idea what to do about it. It just wasn't accepted in the 1970s.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by APerfectLie

Another embarrassing story of when I was 12. My sister dressed me up in drag and then took pictures of me. My mom then had those pictures developed and thought they were the greatest thing ever and loved to pull them out and show people. I confiscated those pics tho and now have them stored away somewhere. It's funny to me now, but back then I hated ever posing for those pics!

My Mom once showed pics of me NAKED(even though the pics were taken when I was about 3 or 4) to the neighbor girl, when I was about 8. I was mortified. Absolutely mortified. I remember it like it was yesterday.
I had a pretty good childhood, but I'd never want to go through it, again. If I could go back in time, I might go to 16 or so, but not before that.

[APerfectLie]

Originally Posted by Nikolaj

^
Thanks, a perfectlie. Yes, I think we need to see a specialist or another doctor, but she's burnt out on doctors. She's almost 75, I meant "in her 70s"-- I am wondering about her kidneys, already. She's lost so much weight in one year. Though it has stabilized, she's too thin.
While a specialist would be good, it is hard enough for me to get my parents keep their appointments- Elderly people either are very good about keeping their appointments, or tend to cancel, or postpone them. My parents fall into the latter category.
But, it's good to hear your perspective. My sister (older than me, and states away from us) wants us to get my mother on the pump, also. I suspect her doctor is maybe being lazy.

I do think a specialist would be best. I've learned that most doctors who don't specialize in diabetes, have a glazed over textbook approach to it and are actually rather ignorant on the subject. I was hospitalized last year due to acute kidney failure (caused by dehydration, not chronic kidney failure due to diabetes) and my kidney doctor at the hospital made me remove my insulin pump and go back on shots for the duration of my stay in the hospital. My blood sugar quickly shot up to the 300s and then I could not get the nurses to give me any more insulin because they could only give what the computer told them to give. *facepalm* I told them all to go **** themselves and reconnected my insulin pump, informing the doctor the next day that he was there to treat my kidneys and that I would take care of my diabetes. It also took me years to find a family doctor who somewhat knows a decent amount about diabetes and realizes that I see an endocrinologist also, so she doesn't meddle in my diabetes for the most part. However, I do agree with your mom on being burnt out on doctors. I hate going to the doctor. HATE! Especially when they think they know what they are talking about. They look at your and analyze you and lay their medical degree bull**** on you and expect you to just take what they say and go with it. Most doctors just blow. Especially when it comes to diabetes because the patient is the one who manages the disease, not the doctor. Which leads to very educated patients and very uneducated doctors. So I can't blame your mom for her angst towards them.

[amberlemegan]

Originally Posted by TerraRhiannon

I've never walked into them 'doing it', but almost every night I hear them doing it. It's really disturbing, like we'll be sitting at the table and my step dad will hint at having sex with my Mom that night, and I will just be, "Well, my head phones are going to be my best friend tonight.." It just sucks when your bedroom is right across the hall from theirs.

I'm so glad my room is in the basement. If I ever heard my mom and step dad I would be forever mortified. I have heard my sister but that's not as mortifing. It's the whole parent thing. I just don't want to picture it.

[Nikolaj]

Thanks for the many answers on the Tampons. They sound popular. Confusing, though.
I'd think it would make walking strange.
Is a woman able to tell when looking at another woman walk 'Oh yeah, she's got a tampon in?' I'd have no idea.
Does it ever fall out if you run to catch an elevator, a train, a bus, for any reason?
And, what if you're on a rollercoaster, and sometimes they go upside down? If it fell out, would it fly up to your neck after it fell down to your ankles?
You can get toxic schock if you forget to take it out? Dang. Do you pull the string to take it out? Why a string and not a small, thin handle? What if the string breaks? Can you attach another string from an unused one, but then what do you do with the one with no string?
I guess you can go into a swimming pool with them, I seem to remember television commercials that said you could swim, play tennis, go bowling, horseback riding. But wouldn't high tide at the ocean definitely knock it out? Later tv commercials mentioned some of them having "wings"-- Wings? Maybe that was just a phase. What would wings do? Make it easier to remove?
Every month for a week? I guess men should be nicer to women.
I'm sorry, I just find it mysterious.
Ok- last thing- it does seem like the dozen responses or so maybe have stopped- but there's a contraceptive sponge, right? Wouldn't a box of appropriately shaped sponges on a coated string be a better and more economical solution, and you'd be able to wash the sponges in warm soapy water, let air dry like pantyhose, maybe even in the pantyhose, and then reuse the sponges every month?
I think a woman should perfect these ideas invented by men a century ago and make a mint making the lives of women easier every month.