Teri Hatcher "Burnt Toast"

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by amber

See! that's good you helped someone.

You know, not to be unpleasant, but I think everybody and their mom should be talking about the subject, because literally, I am the only person I know (including boys) who hasn't been molestered. (Not counting Ledgies that I know, because I don't know those things about them. Just all my regular friends in my life) That's pretty effing ridiculous, dont you think?

I agree, shout it from the rooftops. The shame lies with the perpetrator, or it should. But people need to do what they are comfortable with.

Brown Eyes, I read about how she hadn't written about it in the book in Vanity Fair, did you not see that article? It is a must read for a Teri fan. I'm not a huge fan but I do like her, even though she doesn't appear to eat food. During the interview she could not stop crying because a big love interest had just dumped her. The rumor is it was Clooney. Whoever it was just sort of disappeared, stopped calling. I felt bad for her but I bet she is fine now.

[skcin]

Originally Posted by amber

Oh, I thought someone was making fun of her skin quality when I read the title.

I don't think it's possible for us to be more in tune to eachother's thoughts. I swear I thought the same exact thing.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by skcin

I don't think it's possible for us to be more in tune to eachother's thoughts. I swear I thought the same exact thing.

I did too! I thought it was a reference to the tanorexia that is all the rage in Hollywood these days.

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by amber

See! that's good you helped someone.

You know, not to be unpleasant, but I think everybody and their mom should be talking about the subject, because literally, I am the only person I know (including boys) who hasn't been molestered. (Not counting Ledgies that I know, because I don't know those things about them. Just all my regular friends in my life) That's pretty effing ridiculous, dont you think?

I've not been, either. Thank God! And, as far as shouting it from the rooftops, I whole-heartedly agree. Sara and I have this conversation at least once a month. The doctor and myself are the only ones allowed to touch. And that's only if there's a problem. If there's no problem, I have no right or reason to touch, or even look for that matter. And I'm so proud of her. The doc recently quizzed her about "who can and who shouldn't". Sara was so matter of fact... she said "You (meaning dr.) and mom can look and touch, only if there's a problem." That's what these kids need to hear from their parents. They need to know it's ok to talk about, and they need to feel comfortable letting mom or dad know something is going on.

[Patti]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

I'm going to possibly coin a phrase...I think it's "exploitation of victimization"...that's how I see it. There are things that have happened to me in my own life that have been just as "terrible" but I choose to only tell certain people. I'm aware it's not healthy to bottle it all in...I just don't feel the whole world needs to know about it. It doesn't define who you are.

I would totally disagree with you....sexual abuse DOES define who you are for a very long time. One of the biggest struggle survivors face is not making it the defining factor of who you are. Unless you've been there, you have no idea of what's involved in surviving sexual abuse. My sister and I were abused by my father as children and we both have spent most of our lives trying to get away from the shame and stigma. And yes, it's self-inflicted but you just can't wish it away.

I share my story with a lot of people because it's not MY shame; that belongs to my father. And also, the more publicity about sexual abuse the better. Perpetuating the secret helps no one and indeed, makes me feel the shame all over again. And Amber I, too, have met many people who have been sexually abused. I don't know if we all unknowingly are drawn to something in each other, or the fact that I DO speak about my past that makes people want to talk to me. I will never stop sharing my story, because if I can help one more person come to grips with their abuse, it's all worth it.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by Patti

I would totally disagree with you....sexual abuse DOES define who you are for a very long time. One of the biggest struggle survivors face is not making it the defining factor of who you are. Unless you've been there, you have no idea of what's involved in surviving sexual abuse. My sister and I were abused by my father as children and we both have spent most of our lives trying to get away from the shame and stigma. And yes, it's self-inflicted but you just can't wish it away.

I share my story with a lot of people because it's not MY shame; that belongs to my father. And also, the more publicity about sexual abuse the better. Perpetuating the secret helps no one and indeed, makes me feel the shame all over again. And Amber I, too, have met many people who have been sexually abused. I don't know if we all unknowingly are drawn to something in each other, or the fact that I DO speak about my past that makes people want to talk to me. I will never stop sharing my story, because if I can help one more person come to grips with their abuse, it's all worth it.

What an awesome post, thank you!

I, too, think it's important to speak up! My father is a convicted pedophile - he was out of the picture for most of my life and therefore I escaped the abuse.

But silence only perpetuates a vicious cycle.

SExual abuse is a gigantic problem in today's society - and the only way to combat it is to speak out!!

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by Patti

I would totally disagree with you....sexual abuse DOES define who you are for a very long time. One of the biggest struggle survivors face is not making it the defining factor of who you are. Unless you've been there, you have no idea of what's involved in surviving sexual abuse. My sister and I were abused by my father as children and we both have spent most of our lives trying to get away from the shame and stigma. And yes, it's self-inflicted but you just can't wish it away.

I share my story with a lot of people because it's not MY shame; that belongs to my father. And also, the more publicity about sexual abuse the better. Perpetuating the secret helps no one and indeed, makes me feel the shame all over again. And Amber I, too, have met many people who have been sexually abused. I don't know if we all unknowingly are drawn to something in each other, or the fact that I DO speak about my past that makes people want to talk to me. I will never stop sharing my story, because if I can help one more person come to grips with their abuse, it's all worth it.

What an excellent post. I am hoping to specialize in working with sexual abuse/incest survivors when I finish school, so I've been following this thread with interest. I think it is so important that women (famous and not famous) are able to speak out loud about their experiences. Sharing these experiences make other survivors feel less alone and different.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by jannieC

What an excellent post. I am hoping to specialize in working with sexual abuse/incest survivors when I finish school, so I've been following this thread with interest. I think it is so important that women (famous and not famous) are able to speak out loud about their experiences. Sharing these experiences make other survivors feel less alone and different.

AND Men!! I have several male friends who were molested as children. And...as per the cycle thing - I forgot to mention, my father was molested by a priest as a child - but in those days you absolutely didn't say ANYTHING and if you did no one would believe you because...hey! It's a priest...so boom...a cycle is perpetuated.

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

AND Men!! I have several male friends who were molested as children. And...as per the cycle thing - I forgot to mention, my father was molested by a priest as a child - but in those days you absolutely didn't say ANYTHING and if you did no one would believe you because...hey! It's a priest...so boom...a cycle is perpetuated.

Yes, yes- you're absolutely right. xo

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by Patti

I would totally disagree with you....sexual abuse DOES define who you are for a very long time. One of the biggest struggle survivors face is not making it the defining factor of who you are. Unless you've been there, you have no idea of what's involved in surviving sexual abuse. My sister and I were abused by my father as children and we both have spent most of our lives trying to get away from the shame and stigma. And yes, it's self-inflicted but you just can't wish it away.

I share my story with a lot of people because it's not MY shame; that belongs to my father. And also, the more publicity about sexual abuse the better. Perpetuating the secret helps no one and indeed, makes me feel the shame all over again. And Amber I, too, have met many people who have been sexually abused. I don't know if we all unknowingly are drawn to something in each other, or the fact that I DO speak about my past that makes people want to talk to me. I will never stop sharing my story, because if I can help one more person come to grips with their abuse, it's all worth it.

I'm sorry to read you were abused. I am glad you have the courage to speak out about it.

My Mom's best friend was abused by older brothers and she has just now, in her mid fifties, been able to have a fairly healthy relationship with a non-abusive man. She got her nursing degree years ago and finally got away from her manipulative, abusive husband for good about 5 years ago. She is an inspiration. If that woman can even get out of bed in the morning, never mind all she accomplishes, it is a miracle. She works with adolescents in crisis as a psychiatric nurse. I don't know how she does it to be honest.

[Patti]

Suze, that's great about your mom's friend. It gives me hope, since I have yet to have a healthy relationship. My marriage was very long and in a lot of ways, very lousy. He was emotionally abusive to the extreme and I feel fortunate that I was finally able to find the strength to leave.

Jannie, best of luck to you in your career. You will have a special place in my heart.

Deanna, I'm glad your dad is behind bars. He deserves to be there. I'm glad you weren't one of his victims.

[Brwn_eyes0511]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

I agree, shout it from the rooftops. The shame lies with the perpetrator, or it should. But people need to do what they are comfortable with.

Brown Eyes, I read about how she hadn't written about it in the book in Vanity Fair, did you not see that article? It is a must read for a Teri fan. I'm not a huge fan but I do like her, even though she doesn't appear to eat food. During the interview she could not stop crying because a big love interest had just dumped her. The rumor is it was Clooney. Whoever it was just sort of disappeared, stopped calling. I felt bad for her but I bet she is fine now.

I'll have to get that from ebay..

And her and Clooney did NOT date! This was cleared up yesterday on Oprah.. as was the plastic surgery rumours and the "why are you so skinny" talk!

[BTFLCHLD]

i found this article interesting with regard to the specific case
as well the issue of reporting and moving forward


well...so what you cant read them

i will upload another way

[BTFLCHLD]

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by Patti

I would totally disagree with you....sexual abuse DOES define who you are for a very long time. One of the biggest struggle survivors face is not making it the defining factor of who you are. Unless you've been there, you have no idea of what's involved in surviving sexual abuse.

I should have made myself more clear. I know it doesnt define who you are, because I've lived thru it. I made that semi-evident in later posts.