The Just Thought I'd Share Thread

[Silver Springs]

Originally Posted by Nikolaj

Just wonder: Do you guys tip when you go to pick up take-out? There's an Italian place I like a lot and I usually do tip since I get food there once a week, and they seem to appreciate it.
Also need to ask- do you guys tend to tip FedEx or UPS delivery drivers? I don't want to do that, but I have a somewhat large FedEx shipment coming tomorrow, (24 pounds or so) and if a tip is expected, I don't want to be cheap.
I suspect the FedEx drivers are paid well enough and get health insurance and other benefits, while the small restaurant workers probably are paid poorly with little or no benefits.

I'm a serial tipper. Whenever it seems socially acceptible/expected to tip, I'll do so. And usually excessively hehe. Although having said that, courier deliveries get nothing. They're paid very well and for the most part I find their manners to be entirely lacking, which is a great deterrent for me to dip into my piggy bank ().

[Nikolaj]

^ Thanks, Silver Springs. I know Europe is so different than The States in regards to tipping, you must stand out!
Interesting that you seem to feel the same way as I do about parcel deliveries. I think the answer has to be no.

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by Nikolaj

Just wonder: Do you guys tip when you go to pick up take-out? There's an Italian place I like a lot and I usually do tip since I get food there once a week, and they seem to appreciate it.
Also need to ask- do you guys tend to tip FedEx or UPS delivery drivers? I don't want to do that, but I have a somewhat large FedEx shipment coming tomorrow, (24 pounds or so) and if a tip is expected, I don't want to be cheap.
I suspect the FedEx drivers are paid well enough and get health insurance and other benefits, while the small restaurant workers probably are paid poorly with little or no benefits.

I always tip when it comes to my food. I tip 20% or more for dine in service, but usually only add $1 or so for take out. It's just a way to say thank you and since I spent my entire life in that industry, I know it's appreciated!

[Zombie]

Okay, rant time!

Some of you may remember me complaining about problems with this house I'm living in and its psycho landlord. Well, it got worse, and now I'm looking at being homeless here in a couple of days.

Times is tough right now, and the kids & I are just barely keeping our heads above water financially, and last month, there was a bad medical emergency that ate all my money, and this led to me not quite having enough when rent came due. I asked the landlord to please cut me some slack for a bit until I could scrape it together, and I was apologetic, and I hated doing it because I hate being so broke, but I had no other option. He agreed this was fine, but apparently changed his mind, because he came back with a "10 days to get out" notice to tape to my door.

Now, I know I owe this man his money. I would never dispute that. And I also know that this is not how a formal eviction is done, though I've never actually been evicted before, but I am desperate to get out of here before those 10 days are up, because I am afraid of what he might do to me/my kids/my stuff if we're not gone. I know he won't be able to have the cops drag me out or whatever without a court order and the right paperwork, but since his son has already shown he has absolutely no problem with barging into my house uninvited and without knocking, I am afraid.

And I don't want a formal eviction on my credit report, because I've never had one before and I don't want to start now, should I try to fight this and it go in his favor anyway.

But yeah - trying to find a new place to live in 10 days when you barely have any money is f*cking impossible. I've spent the last week trying frantically to find somewhere for us to go, and it's just not happening - either my credit isn't good enough, or they won't take my dog, or the place is in a scary neighborhood (I mean, I'm poor right now, yes, but I can't drag my kids into East Saint Louis, you know? You'd think that poor people deserve the chance to live somewhere that doesn't feature gunshots as constant background noise, but apparently not).

I found a place today that looks like they'll approve me, and it's one I can afford (and less expensive than here, so it's better all around), and it's actually nice and in a decent (but not awesome) area, and the schools aren't scary, and I can have my dog...but the guy said it will take about a week for all the credit checks/background checks, inspection for the occupancy permit, etc, etc, to go through.

And I don't have another week. I can go crash on my parents' floor, but I can't bring all of my stuff over there - there's no room. I could probably get around that by renting a storage locker for my furniture and such, but if I do THAT, then I won't have enough for the apartment when I *can* move in.

But if I just try to stick it out for that week and stay here because the notice on my door isn't a proper legal one, I'm afraid of what the asshat will do - have his son come physically drag me out anyway? Change the locks while I'm not home so I lose all my stuff? And I can't take my dog with me everywhere I go, so if he did that while Chloe's in here, what would happen to her? And if any of that DOES happen, what recourse do I honestly have at this moment? I could fight it and eventually perhaps get a judgment in my favor, but in the meantime, what would we do without any of our stuff?

Sorry for the ranting, but I am at a loss, and needed to vent. I kind of hate everything right now and I am kind of scared to death.

[Nikolaj]

Does anyone here have a Mac iBook? It just occured to me again how much better it would be if the power cord was on the left side instead of the right. I'm forever having to reposition myself so not to yank the cord. Otherwise, not many complaints. But it seems to be a real flaw in the design, to me.
Mine is 3 years old, maybe the newer ones have the power cord on the left, I think it was a common comment that it would be better.
Edit: Sorry to read about your problems, Zombie, I didn't see it when I typed this message, which seems so trite after you poured your heart out.

[TerraRhiannon]

Originally Posted by Zombie

Okay, rant time!

Some of you may remember me complaining about problems with this house I'm living in and its psycho landlord. Well, it got worse, and now I'm looking at being homeless here in a couple of days.

Times is tough right now, and the kids & I are just barely keeping our heads above water financially, and last month, there was a bad medical emergency that ate all my money, and this led to me not quite having enough when rent came due. I asked the landlord to please cut me some slack for a bit until I could scrape it together, and I was apologetic, and I hated doing it because I hate being so broke, but I had no other option. He agreed this was fine, but apparently changed his mind, because he came back with a "10 days to get out" notice to tape to my door.

Now, I know I owe this man his money. I would never dispute that. And I also know that this is not how a formal eviction is done, though I've never actually been evicted before, but I am desperate to get out of here before those 10 days are up, because I am afraid of what he might do to me/my kids/my stuff if we're not gone. I know he won't be able to have the cops drag me out or whatever without a court order and the right paperwork, but since his son has already shown he has absolutely no problem with barging into my house uninvited and without knocking, I am afraid.

And I don't want a formal eviction on my credit report, because I've never had one before and I don't want to start now, should I try to fight this and it go in his favor anyway.

But yeah - trying to find a new place to live in 10 days when you barely have any money is f*cking impossible. I've spent the last week trying frantically to find somewhere for us to go, and it's just not happening - either my credit isn't good enough, or they won't take my dog, or the place is in a scary neighborhood (I mean, I'm poor right now, yes, but I can't drag my kids into East Saint Louis, you know? You'd think that poor people deserve the chance to live somewhere that doesn't feature gunshots as constant background noise, but apparently not).

I found a place today that looks like they'll approve me, and it's one I can afford (and less expensive than here, so it's better all around), and it's actually nice and in a decent (but not awesome) area, and the schools aren't scary, and I can have my dog...but the guy said it will take about a week for all the credit checks/background checks, inspection for the occupancy permit, etc, etc, to go through.

And I don't have another week. I can go crash on my parents' floor, but I can't bring all of my stuff over there - there's no room. I could probably get around that by renting a storage locker for my furniture and such, but if I do THAT, then I won't have enough for the apartment when I *can* move in.

But if I just try to stick it out for that week and stay here because the notice on my door isn't a proper legal one, I'm afraid of what the asshat will do - have his son come physically drag me out anyway? Change the locks while I'm not home so I lose all my stuff? And I can't take my dog with me everywhere I go, so if he did that while Chloe's in here, what would happen to her? And if any of that DOES happen, what recourse do I honestly have at this moment? I could fight it and eventually perhaps get a judgment in my favor, but in the meantime, what would we do without any of our stuff?

Sorry for the ranting, but I am at a loss, and needed to vent. I kind of hate everything right now and I am kind of scared to death.

It's good to vent sometimes! I do it all the time, and here is a great place to do it! No judging I am sooo sorry about your situation, you have no idea. Just reading that made me want to help you in some way. If you were my neighbor you could stay with meeeeee I pray things get better for you, I've never experienced anything like that before, but it can't be a good feeling. Hope it ends well for you and your son

[iamnotafraid]

Originally Posted by Nikolaj

Just wonder: Do you guys tip when you go to pick up take-out? Also need to ask- do you guys tend to tip FedEx or UPS delivery drivers?

Yes to the take-out,
no to the UPS-FedEx.


ZOMBIE,
Sorry to read about your troubles.
I'll pray for you too.

[jannieC]

Zombie- no matter what, he can't hold your stuff, even if you owe rent. TOTALLY against the law. I feel so badly for you- do you have friends to keep your stuff until it's all sorted out?

[carrie721]

Originally Posted by Zombie

Okay, rant time!

-do you have a lease?
-have you read this?
-there is probably a dog fostering organization in STL that will be willing/able to take care of chloe short-term and on short notice.
-even with nonpayment of rent, your landlord still needs to give you 30 days' notice. do you have receipts/cancelled checks for your prior months' rent?
-does STL have some kind of tenants' advocacy group?

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by Zombie

Okay, rant time!

Here in Indiana, anyway, the landlord(I am one) has to file eviction, though small claims court.
How long it takes, really depends upon how backed up the system is. I've gotten a court date in a couple of weeks, and I've had it take as long as a month. That said, I've won every eviction, and even outsmarted a lawyer that one of them had(EVERY correspondence MUST be delivered by certified mail, or there's no proof that they received anything- the lawyer missed that, and I won the point). I've had judges give the tenant as few as 3 days to vacate, and never had them give more than 10.

[Zombie]

TerraRhiannon, Nikolaj, & iamnotafraid - thanks, guys. I appreciate the good wishes. I could use 'em.

Originally Posted by jannieC

Zombie- no matter what, he can't hold your stuff, even if you owe rent. TOTALLY against the law. I feel so badly for you- do you have friends to keep your stuff until it's all sorted out?

Yeah, I spoke with a lawyer (who was nice and gave me some advice over the phone without wanting money), and he said something similar, but the landlord guy is NUTS, so even if he can't legally hold it, I don't know what he'd pull in the meantime, you know?

I am trying to make arrangements for things to go places where they'll be safe, but the larger pieces of furniture are a tough one. Smaller stuff, like the kids' toys and books and clothes and such are easy, and more important in the long run, but I like my furniture and will be sad if I lose any of it - back when my job hadn't gone to hell, I was able to finally buy NEW furniture that was just mine, that I picked out, instead of random hand-me-downs from other folks. So...yeah. Ugh.

Originally Posted by carrie721

-do you have a lease?
-have you read this?
-there is probably a dog fostering organization in STL that will be willing/able to take care of chloe short-term and on short notice.
-even with nonpayment of rent, your landlord still needs to give you 30 days' notice. do you have receipts/cancelled checks for your prior months' rent?
-does STL have some kind of tenants' advocacy group?

- I have a lease, but it's a month-to-month.

- I did read that, and the City Hall ladies gave me a little book. It's not so much the legal aspect that's worrying me, it's the landlord himself. Like, I took down the first paper he posted so I could read it, and then he had his son come back and DUCT TAPE a new one up, telling me that if I took THAT one down, it was vandalism, and it also included fun, handwritten passive-aggressive threats in the margins, telling me not to underestimate him, etc. He's creepy.

- I did not think of that, re: dog thing, but that is a good idea. Thank you.

- The lawyer I mentioned above did say that about the 30 days' notice, and that he'd have to have an actual court-ordered eviction notice to get me out of here, delivered by the sheriff folks, so I'm not so worried about cops showing up. He told me to keep my occupancy permit on me at all times, just in case, though. I AM worried about his son showing up, though, or them doing something else weird. I have cancelled checks & receipts.

- I dunno about advocacy group, but I will find out.

Thank you, seriously.

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

Here in Indiana, anyway, the landlord(I am one) has to file eviction, though small claims court.
How long it takes, really depends upon how backed up the system is. I've gotten a court date in a couple of weeks, and I've had it take as long as a month. That said, I've won every eviction, and even outsmarted a lawyer that one of them had(EVERY correspondence MUST be delivered by certified mail, or there's no proof that they received anything- the lawyer missed that, and I won the point). I've had judges give the tenant as few as 3 days to vacate, and never had them give more than 10.

Yeah, he has to do that here, too, apparently. I have never had to deal with this before. The notice he put up is not an official one - the lawyer and other folks I have spoken to say he's just trying to scare me out so he doesn't have to pay whatever fees they charge to do the small claims thing.

[Nikolaj]

Zombie, for a quick solution that may help, may I suggest speaking of all this to the grandparents of the children you mention, if not their fathers?
I don't mean to get personal, so please don't answer specifically. I just think a woman with 2 children should not be in this all alone. Seek the kinfolk, they are under some obligation, that's how families are. God Bless You, this has to be a major heartache and in ten days? Impossible with children, schools, and a pet for you to handle this all alone.
I'd think either sets of grandparents would realize it would be in the best interests of the children for them not to change schools mid-term or sooner because of a financial hardship. If you don't want to stay where you live now with the bad blood between you and the landlord and his son, maybe the kids' grandparents would help out enough for you to live in the same school district, at least. I believe you're talking about public schools, or it wouldn't matter where you lived, they wouldn't have to change schools.
Maybe you could just appeal for family help so the children can stay in the schools they're in now. And with their help, perhaps you could still stay in the nicer, safer area that you're in now.
This is not a question that requires you to answer publically, I just thought it might give you an idea to call someone local and/or related to you and the children who could do you some real good right now with the cash situation. It could be a timely pre-holiday gift for whomever concerned to make a good gift to you and the children -- and the dog
Dang, I hate moving, I recall you giving me many good tips back in August about packin' up. Shackin up IS all I wanna do for sure, for a long time now without havin to pack it up, again.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by Zombie

Yeah, he has to do that here, too, apparently. I have never had to deal with this before. The notice he put up is not an official one - the lawyer and other folks I have spoken to say he's just trying to scare me out so he doesn't have to pay whatever fees they charge to do the small claims thing.

Well, to be honest, you might be doing the best thing, by getting out. What I would try to do, if I were you, would be to get it in notarized writing, that he's not going to pursue you for any back rents. Because, legally, you are liable for the balance of the lease term, or until it's rented, whichever comes first. So, you might be able to save having a judgment against you, affecting your credit score, or garnishment of your wages.

Because that's what I try to do. I don't WANT to go to court, believe me. I'm neither a morning person, or a dress up person, nor an argumentative person...so all three, rub me the wrong way. I find court to be extremely stressful, especially if they have a pro bono lawyer. I usually do what he did, in a much nicer way. "I don't want to go to court. I don't want to garnish your wages. I don't even want any hard feelings. Can you be out in two weeks? Because if you will, I'll just take the financial hit, and we'll be done with it". This works for me, about 2 out of 3 times, that I try it.

[APerfectLie]

Zombie...

You guys apparently had a verbal contract where he agreed you could be late on your rent this month and he is in breach of that contract. If he does sue you for eviction, the burden of proof lies on him, not you. Therefore, pleading your case to the judge that he did in fact agree to extend your rent payment may help you prevail. Also, him and his son should not be able to legally enter the apartment without your approval. However, I know you want to get out ASAP. So I think seeing if there is maybe someone who can help you out would be a great idea. Or possibly taking out a payday loan. I know they charge a lot in interest, but most don't check your credit. Last year I was able to take out a $600 loan and pay it back $110 a month for six months. And I'd rather pay 10% interest in a six month period than put myself, my family, or my things at risk. I wish I was working right now because I'd definitely wire you some money if I had it

[Zombie]

Originally Posted by Nikolaj

Zombie, for a quick solution that may help, may I suggest speaking of all this to the grandparents of the children you mention, if not their fathers?
I don't mean to get personal, so please don't answer specifically. I just think a woman with 2 children should not be in this all alone. Seek the kinfolk, they are under some obligation, that's how families are. God Bless You, this has to be a major heartache and in ten days? Impossible with children, schools, and a pet for you to handle this all alone.
I'd think either sets of grandparents would realize it would be in the best interests of the children for them not to change schools mid-term or sooner because of a financial hardship. If you don't want to stay where you live now with the bad blood between you and the landlord and his son, maybe the kids' grandparents would help out enough for you to live in the same school district, at least. I believe you're talking about public schools, or it wouldn't matter where you lived, they wouldn't have to change schools.
Maybe you could just appeal for family help so the children can stay in the schools they're in now. And with their help, perhaps you could still stay in the nicer, safer area that you're in now.
This is not a question that requires you to answer publically, I just thought it might give you an idea to call someone local and/or related to you and the children who could do you some real good right now with the cash situation. It could be a timely pre-holiday gift for whomever concerned to make a good gift to you and the children -- and the dog
Dang, I hate moving, I recall you giving me many good tips back in August about packin' up. Shackin up IS all I wanna do for sure, for a long time now without havin to pack it up, again.

Hi, hon - thank you for the suggestions, but my family situation is a little...different. That's a good way to put it, anyway. The family I have are my foster parents (I went into care a little before I turned 13, and we've been close ever since - they might as well be my "real" parents) and they are helping all they can, but they are not in a financial position to do much that way. But my (biological, not foster) mom passed away at the beginning of the year, and my stepdad is a good guy and would help if I asked, I think, but I can't do that - the medical bills and associated things with my mom have put him so far into debt, I just can't bring myself to ask when I don't know for sure how long it will take me to pay him back. My kiddos' dad passed away 6 years ago this past September, and his mother is not a good person, so she's not in our lives at all. So while I'm not alone alone, I'm still kinda alone. Haha.

Mostly, we do just fine - sometimes even better than fine! Which is good. But this year has been really bad. When I put everything that's happened this year together, I'd say it's probably the worst year of my life. And I've had some doozies, believe you me.

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

Well, to be honest, you might be doing the best thing, by getting out. What I would try to do, if I were you, would be to get it in notarized writing, that he's not going to pursue you for any back rents. Because, legally, you are liable for the balance of the lease term, or until it's rented, whichever comes first. So, you might be able to save having a judgment against you, affecting your credit score, or garnishment of your wages.

Because that's what I try to do. I don't WANT to go to court, believe me. I'm neither a morning person, or a dress up person, nor an argumentative person...so all three, rub me the wrong way. I find court to be extremely stressful, especially if they have a pro bono lawyer. I usually do what he did, in a much nicer way. "I don't want to go to court. I don't want to garnish your wages. I don't even want any hard feelings. Can you be out in two weeks? Because if you will, I'll just take the financial hit, and we'll be done with it". This works for me, about 2 out of 3 times, that I try it.

Oh no - I'm not planning on not paying him or anything. I tried making a deal with him, but he was not in the mood, and this is the result.

I just realized this whole thing makes me sound like some kind of irresponsible idiot, and I promise I am not. This year has just been so bad. It's been one thing after another - surprise move to St. Louis & then my mom's funeral (she died literally the night we arrived here in the city), which wiped out my savings, then I lost my biggest contracts at work, which killed most of my income, and I am struggling to pick up more work - no one is hiring. It's just...desolate out there, job-wise. Then surprise medical problems, and surprise emergency dental surgery, and I don't have insurance, 'cos I can't afford it, and and and...I could go on, but you get the drift.

It is a mess.

But you sound like a good landlord - mine is not. For example, there are so many things wrong with this house that he's refused to fix (I have yet to get a working stove, and the bedroom ceiling pours water like crazy every time it rains, for starters), his son has barged into my house without knocking or being invited & lurks around outside sometimes like a creepy thing, he actively avoids my phone calls (if I call from my phone, no answer - borrow someone else's to call two minutes later, he picks up no problem). None of this excuses my not being able to make rent this time, of course, but he is not...reasonable. Not someone I am able to get a notarized statement from, like.