Random Thoughts/Express Yourself...Part II

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by michelle2677

omg who is the child, here? i know parents make mistakes but please.

I have a friend whose mother is kinda acting the same way. my friend's been catching up for lost times with her dad (her mom would bad mouth her dad when she was growing up and my friend believed her mom..now she knows better) . well the mother is getting upset by it and once told her that he's not even her real dad. omg.

then they got in a fight over christmas. her mom sent her a long email telling her that no mother should ever have to hurt the way she hurt her over christmas. and blah blah blah. she would throw in "honey" or "darling" sarcastically. she even told her she was filled with hate and may god have mercy on her soul

i know that doesn't help much, but you are the best thing that ever happened to that girl and just keep that in mind. be thankful she has someone to lean on. even if it isn't her real mother. you are an angel maria

I just don't understand how a mom can do that. I can see where her mom's feelings could be hurt, but then, you have to let a teenager be a teenager. Sam's being a teenager. But she's happy here, and she's doing well here. And she wants to be here. I give her mom credit where credit is due: she was selfless in letting Sam come here and live. And I can see where "empty nest syndrome" has kicked in, but you can't just give your kid the cold shoulder because she's having fun.

Thanks Michelle... sometimes I need to hear that I'm an angel. Or am I a ruthless person who stole another person's daughter?? At this point, I'm not sure. Is this pent up resentment towards me that she's taking out on Sam?? I'm sure there's some there.

[michelle2677]

Originally Posted by sara1998

I just don't understand how a mom can do that. I can see where her mom's feelings could be hurt, but then, you have to let a teenager be a teenager. Sam's being a teenager. But she's happy here, and she's doing well here. And she wants to be here. I give her mom credit where credit is due: she was selfless in letting Sam come here and live. And I can see where "empty nest syndrome" has kicked in, but you can't just give your kid the cold shoulder because she's having fun.

Thanks Michelle... sometimes I need to hear that I'm an angel. Or am I a ruthless person who stole another person's daughter?? At this point, I'm not sure. Is this pent up resentment towards me that she's taking out on Sam?? I'm sure there's some there.

well, exactly. it should be whatever should better the child, not the parent. I get that it's her daughter and she should get time with her. time so they can know each other and bond. and i don't really think it's the child's choice on where they should go, but if she's doing well where she is vs there, then i think she should stay.

and of course you are. there are not a lot of people who would do what you are doing. raising someone else's child? that is a very selfless thing, so why would you even think it's a bad thing?

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by michelle2677

well, exactly. it should be whatever should better the child, not the parent. I get that it's her daughter and she should get time with her. time so they can know each other and bond. and i don't really think it's the child's choice on where they should go, but if she's doing well where she is vs there, then i think she should stay.

and of course you are. there are not a lot of people who would do what you are doing. raising someone else's child? that is a very selfless thing, so why would you even think it's a bad thing?

I guess because there's a resentment building behind it. Whether it's said or not, I know it's there. I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. And if I had things to do over again, I wouldn't do a damn thing different. She's my kid now, too. And I love her as much as I do my Sara. She needed an adult in her life that not only gives some structure, but can be a friend too when it's appropriate.

[skcin]

Originally Posted by sara1998

I just don't understand how a mom can do that. I can see where her mom's feelings could be hurt, but then, you have to let a teenager be a teenager. Sam's being a teenager. But she's happy here, and she's doing well here. And she wants to be here. I give her mom credit where credit is due: she was selfless in letting Sam come here and live. And I can see where "empty nest syndrome" has kicked in, but you can't just give your kid the cold shoulder because she's having fun.

Thanks Michelle... sometimes I need to hear that I'm an angel. Or am I a ruthless person who stole another person's daughter?? At this point, I'm not sure. Is this pent up resentment towards me that she's taking out on Sam?? I'm sure there's some there.

BINGO. I'm not excusing mom's behavior, but she's probably thinking Sam "picked you" over her. Oversimplified & not really true, but she's obviously not thinking rationally right now. Hopefully mom will calm down & this doesn't permanently damage their relationship.

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by skcin

BINGO. I'm not excusing mom's behavior, but she's probably thinking Sam "picked you" over her. Oversimplified & not really true, but she's obviously not thinking rationally right now. Hopefully mom will calm down & this doesn't permanently damage their relationship.

Mom didn't apologize today, but told her she loved and missed her. It's a start.

[michelle2677]

Originally Posted by sara1998

Mom didn't apologize today, but told her she loved and missed her. It's a start.

that is def a start. this could possibly work out

[David]

Originally Posted by michelle2677

that is def a start. this could possibly work out

Michelle, I like your dog.

[rbs3676]

That black cat showed up in my courtyard again tonight and it made Hilton wail....

rbs

[petep9000]

Pouring rain in NYC today, washed away the little bit of white snow we had gotten yesterday evening. Today all grey...puddles, raw outside. Day before yesterday, frigid frigid cold that you thought your face would crack. Yesterday not as cold but there was snow, today rain. Winter in NYC now? Mostly rain. Occasional snow and ice (none last month,first time in 75 years there was no snow in Jan in NYC) alternating with cool, dry days.

When I got on the subway today (packed because no one wants to walk in the rain if they could help it) the train was a steam bath. So humid, that the windows in all cars were completely fogged up. The floor was all wet, salt, grime so you couldn't even out your bag down. Smooshed wet newspapers on the floor too, gross. If I were the conductor of the subway, I'd crank up the air con on a day like today, because it was so uncomfortable with all the moisture. The air con would have taken care of it, much like your defroster in your car. Don't get me wrong, I love NY. But, if the calendar says winter, then so be it. This rain is such a downer.

[michelle2677]

Originally Posted by David

Michelle, I like your dog.

thank you, david. do you have any pets?