Advice Needed

[Artemis]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry you're having a really rough time at the moment, Bee I've had days where I've gone on 2-4 hours of sleep per night for 3/4 days and then just crashed out, and felt like absolute hell during them, so, I can't imagine how awful you'll be feeling if this is a prolonged thing.

I'd say cut out everything that isn't absolutely essential and make more time for yourself. Is it at all possible to cut any of your uni hours down? 12 hours per day sounds like it would get on top of anyone. Maybe take a day off every now and then, when it all gets too much, I know that sounds bad, but sometimes, I find, if you're working on something non-stop, taking a break from it lets you go back to it with renewed energy.

As for herbal pills that might work... Kalms are supposed to be good, I took them before my second French oral exam and got through that fine (the first time I completely broke down), and my brother keeps raving that sominex pills are great for helping you get to sleep. You can go to the doctors and get pills for insomnia too, my friend was suffering, getting about 2 hours sleep every two days, and now she's getting at least 6 a night.

[Silver Springs]

oh what does it matter anyway. im just going to get ****ty grades like i did for the last semester in everything no matter how much work i put into it and ill just end up failing alltogether, thus ending my plans to get the fu.ck away from my parents. i feel like just getting a bag and leaving tonite. i dont care where i just cant deal with thsi endless stream of crap thats heaped onto me. im only human. my back breaks just l;ike everybodyt elses.

[Lindsfan]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

oh what does it matter anyway. im just going to get ****ty grades like i did for the last semester in everything no matter how much work i put into it and ill just end up failing alltogether, thus ending my plans to get the fu.ck away from my parents. i feel like just getting a bag and leaving tonite. i dont care where i just cant deal with thsi endless stream of crap thats heaped onto me. im only human. my back breaks just l;ike everybodyt elses.

If you can, you should...for at least a few days anyway. Take time to relax - by yourself. Sorry you're going through all this right now

I'm 46, so you can trust me when I say this too shall pass. Life really does surprise you when you least expect it ( Lindsey would tell you it reinforces his faith in cycles, he he ). Enough sunshine blowing though. You are young and strong!! Do what you need to do. Some quiet time alone might help you sort your feelings...or at the least give you a second wind.

Take care, Bee.

[LikeAWillow]

Does your university have some sort of student support services? I really think you should consider talking to them. They're there as a resource for students who are feeling just like you are right now. They can help, if you'll just give them the chance.

I'm also going to second Nikolaj's suggestion that you consider either lightening your schedule or taking some time off. I know that there's a stigma attached to everything that I'm suggesting, but the stigma is bull****. Wouldn't you rather truly enjoy and engage in your courses than run yourself into the ground trying to just get through them? College is about growing as a person, and what you have right now is not only untenable, but it's not allowing you to grow and develop because you're too busy just trying to survive. Please, please consider talking to someone on your campus. You sought us out, and that's the first step, but it would be even braver of you and even more helpful to seek out someone with the resources to really make things better for you.

Good luck.

[MissLadyLoki]

Originally Posted by LikeAWillow

Does your university have some sort of student support services? I really think you should consider talking to them. They're there as a resource for students who are feeling just like you are right now. They can help, if you'll just give them the chance.

I'm also going to second Nikolaj's suggestion that you consider either lightening your schedule or taking some time off. I know that there's a stigma attached to everything that I'm suggesting, but the stigma is bull****. Wouldn't you rather truly enjoy and engage in your courses than run yourself into the ground trying to just get through them? College is about growing as a person, and what you have right now is not only untenable, but it's not allowing you to grow and develop because you're too busy just trying to survive. Please, please consider talking to someone on your campus. You sought us out, and that's the first step, but it would be even braver of you and even more helpful to seek out someone with the resources to really make things better for you.

Good luck.

I'm with what Marissa said. I dunno about in the UK, but at my school we do have a health center where you can talk to people (OK, it's in the middle of never never land on my campus, but it has come in handy when I've had issues). Or perhaps you could maybe drop one of your classes and take it next semester. Believe me, there's no shame in that and people do it all the time, myself included (I just did it for this history class that'd complete my minor that wanted tons of reading and writing on top of my already-crazy schedule of 2 group projects and a business plan this semester). Besides, taking a bit longer to get your degree and coming out sane is a lot better than coming out on time and having lost your mind.

Either way Bee, I hate seeing you like this. You are my friend and I don't like seeing my friends in such a depressed state. Me and the others are here to help you want you to be OK. You're valued too much here and it pains me to see you in such a state of depression.

[LikeAWillow]

Originally Posted by MissLadyLoki

Besides, taking a bit longer to get your degree and coming out sane is a lot better than coming out on time and having lost your mind.

Exactly. I have SO many friends who have really cut down their schedule or taken time off. One of my friends just decided two weeks ago to take a year off MIT and go stay with her Aunt in New Zealand. She left five days later. Obviously we all don't have those sorts of options, but my friend knew she needed the break, and she wasn't going to let anyone stop her or tell her not to. She just took the f*ck off and didn't look back. No one I know looks down on her for leaving for awhile. I'm pretty sure we all wish we had the balls to do it ourselves.

[MissLadyLoki]

Originally Posted by LikeAWillow

Exactly. I have SO many friends who have really cut down their schedule or taken time off. One of my friends just decided two weeks ago to take a year off MIT and go stay with her Aunt in New Zealand. She left five days later. Obviously we all don't have those sorts of options, but my friend knew she needed the break, and she wasn't going to let anyone stop her or tell her not to. She just took the f*ck off and didn't look back. No one I know looks down on her for leaving for awhile. I'm pretty sure we all wish we had the balls to do it ourselves.

Yeah you're right. At times, when things have gotten nuts (especially last spring, when my life was ruled by a precalc meant for people going into the sciences, which is just perfect for someone who's a complete spaz at math ), I've just wanted to leave and go somewhere else for a while. Hell, i don't have a problem with anyone who needs to leave school a while for a reason, be it stress or my friend Barry who, aside from being the ultimate pack rat (that's a story for another time), actually had to take time off cause he couldn't afford it, but either, do whatever you need to do so you could graduate sane, even if it means loosening your course load or running off to New Zealand or some other awesome place.

In other words Bee, it seems like the best option for you is to maybe cut a class or 2 that's causing major stress. How many credits are you taking this semester?

[Silver Springs]

i cant afford to take time off...both financially or time wise...id lose everything i already have done....i just wat to die right now..

[WildHeart69]

Originally Posted by chiliD

Works 100x's better than Red Bull, Monster or Rockstar (or any of those carbonated energy drinks)...with ZERO sugar (so your pancreas & kidneys don't get damaged) None of the "shakes" that those other drinks have as a side effect...after 5 hours, there's no residual "buzz" to keep you awake, can fall asleep normally.

You have a lot more to worry about in terms of liver/kidney damage than sugar... just because something is "natural" doesnt mean it's good for you. There are tons of "herbal" remedies that you can get that are just plain harmful (and they are not regulated by the FDA). I can't imagine that 5 hour energy drinks are "100% safe" if taken in such large quantities over time.

[Lindsfan]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

i cant afford to take time off...both financially or time wise...id lose everything i already have done....i just wat to die right now..

Bee, you need to talk to a counselor to re-work your schedule. Happiness and health should always come first. If you can't talk to your parents or a sibling, then maybe a friend's parents or sibling, or anyone you're comfortable with. But you should talk face to face with someone about what you're feeling. You really can put off your classes for a while. People do it all the time. You'll catch up when you're ready. Just get someone to help you lighten the load. Once you do, you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner

[holidayroad]

Is there any way you could live somewhere other than with your parents? I know you are working hard with school, but I think what's really doing you in is the mental strain you are having to handle because of your parent's issues. Could you stay with a relative or friend, even for a week or two? I think you'd greatly benefit from it.