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  #1  
Old 01-10-2010, 10:21 PM
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Default The Perfect Funeral

Sunday, January 10, 2010
Gone, I Say

Although I don't plan on ascending to heaven anytime soon, I am interested in the subject of death (meaning I love depressing poetry about death and am extremely scared of it!) and I do pay close attention to detail. So although I'm only 21, I've planned how I want my funeral to go.

I know, this entry might seem kind of morbid. But I asked my followers on Twitter whether I should blog about my funeral and got responses like "Yes! Please do!" and "I can't wait to attend!" So here it is.

First of all, and very importantly, I do NOT want a viewing.

I've had a lot of conversations about this with my friends, and some of them say, "But your family members won't be able to say goodbye unless they physically SEE your decomposing corpse!" And I'm not against open casket in general (as long as I look good!), so I can have an open casket funeral, but NO viewing! I don't need a bunch of people sitting in a room with my cold body for the whole night, just so they can pay attention to who is crying the hardest. Please, if you wanna see my body then look at the funeral, not at a special death party the night before!

Also, I don't need flowers. Sure they look nice, but what use are they really? They just shrivel up and die. So please save your money! Instead, you can purchase an approved CD (the list of approved CDs will be with Josh) and enjoy my favorite music in my memory!

So, my whole funeral is going to be outdoors. And I don't care if it's winter; suck it up! You think you're cold?! At least you can still feel!!

Now that we've taken care of those details, here's how the funeral service will go down.
It will start with Josh reading my favorite poem, "The Truth The Dead Know."

(And if Josh happens to die before I do, I'll read it as his funeral!)

This will be followed by the concert section of my funeral.

Katy Perry will perform "Thinking of You"

Then Kelly Clarkson will sing "Sober"

Then Stevie Nicks (who will already be dressed in black probably) will grab Lindsey Buckingham and they will come and sing two songs, "Storms" and "Beautiful Child."

As an encore, all four of the performers will come out and sing a medley of Joni Mitchell's "Blue," Regina Spektor's "Samson," and "Didn't We Almost Have It All" by Whitney Houston.


Following the concert, the feature film Precious will be screened, in its entirety.

I know, this seems kind of long. But if you leave AT ANY POINT IN THE FUNERAL you will be considered really rude and everyone will throw stuff at you!

After Precious, attendees can finally leave. As they walk away, an orchestra (with a lot of strings!) will play sad music (occasionally mixing in some Britney or Ke$ha). The end!

Alright, so now whenever I die I have this record. My funeral better go exactly like this or I will haunt all of you!!

http://hoteltuesday.blogspot.com/201...one-i-say.html
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  #2  
Old 01-10-2010, 10:45 PM
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I've always said I want Beautiful Child played at my funeral too .
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  #3  
Old 01-10-2010, 10:55 PM
gypsy4life gypsy4life is offline
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I wonder how many funerals have been graced by the notes of a Stevie Nicks song?
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Old 01-11-2010, 01:00 AM
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If I'm lucky enough to have a funeral (I'm expecting a cataclysmic end to the world in the form of an asteroid in August 2028... at least I think that's what the professional asteroid-hunting astronomers reported a while back), I wouldn't really want much in the way of sad music played. I'd prefer something inappropriate, like "Not That Funny" or "Don't Stop". Also maybe "Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf... perhaps "Sultans of Swing" by Dire Straits... basically, any music seemingly inappropriate (but I have to have actually liked it during the time I was alive, of course). I'm a generally eccentric person (despite exterior appearances), and I want to be remembered that way, dammit!
But I might have one slightly sad track played. "Little Lies", perhaps? Even if the lyrics aren't really relevant. "Silver Springs" would be a good one too. And it's especially inappropriate, given the lyrics! Just the way I'd like it! Although if I had an ex I was still friends with at the funeral, it might be best to avoid it...
Actually, I just realised the sad track that'd be directly relevant to my general worldview - John Lennon's "Imagine". Although John Lennon >> Jordan Clarke (me, jaycee, just to be sure you know), so I don't know whether I'd deserve such an honour. Maybe I could get away with "Mind Games"...
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Old 01-11-2010, 09:34 AM
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I've always wanted "Storms" played at my funeral.
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Old 01-11-2010, 09:45 AM
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I would really prefer not to have a funeral, but if I did, I wouldn't want any music played. I'd rather everyone associate hearing Fleetwood Mac with the happy times with me. If they associate it with my death, they won't listen to it anymore
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:11 AM
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I want my ashes to be made into diamonds which would be given to people who cared for me while Landslide is playing in the background. When I die, people will be reminded of me every time they hear FM/SN anyway.
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:21 AM
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I'd like my ashes to be thrown to the winds, preferably off the top of a lighthouse by the Atlantic Ocean. No viewing, no music.
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  #9  
Old 01-11-2010, 02:41 PM
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I will be cremated, and the family has instructions to mix my dog's ashes with mine, for two creatures were never meant to be together, any more than we were.

I still haven't decided if I want the ashes scattered, or what...somebody's mantle sounds nice, but what happens when they get old and die? Do I get passed off, to someone who doesn't even want me?

I would like a memorial, with FM music playing, and a keg of beer! THAT'S, how I want to be remembered, having a good time!
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Old 01-11-2010, 06:35 PM
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This should be played at my funeral.
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  #11  
Old 01-11-2010, 06:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goldustsongbird View Post
This should be played at my funeral.
i would have pegged you for a rattlesnake shake kind of girl.
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  #12  
Old 01-11-2010, 06:55 PM
michelej1 michelej1 is offline
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I'd probably go with Say We'll Meet Again, although if I was in a mood where I didn't want people to be sad, I'd pick Castaway Dreams. But I probably want them to be sad and mournful.

I have ashes. I have all of my father's and a portion of my grandmother's. I think I will be buried in a casket with instructions that those ashes be placed in the casket with me. I've said this orally to my family, but I haven't written it anywhere. Hey, I better do that!

The dilemma Homer mentioned does plague me with guilt. If I died and that silver sphere that holds my father's ashes were just tossed aside, because there's no one else who wants it, I'd feel really awful in the afterlife. I get teary just thinking about it.

Michele
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Old 01-11-2010, 07:06 PM
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Last month, december, my mother died,

We played Sara, Landslide, Save me A Place, Du bist die welt fur mich from Richard Tauber (recorded in 1934) , Pearl Jam's Just Breathe and Albatross.

It was beautiful.
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Old 01-11-2010, 07:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michelej1 View Post

The dilemma Homer mentioned does plague me with guilt. If I died and that silver sphere that holds my father's ashes were just tossed aside, because there's no one else who wants it, I'd feel really awful in the afterlife. I get teary just thinking about it.

Michele
Yes, that's why I think I HAVE to pick a place for us to be scattered. I mean, what happens when your "keeper" passes on? I think it would be rare, for their offspring to keep you, at least for more than one generation.

I'm leaning towards either my land at home, or a certain park in Nashville, TN.
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Old 01-11-2010, 08:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carrie721 View Post
i would have pegged you for a rattlesnake shake kind of girl.
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