Is anyone faithful anymore?? - Page 2

estranged4life · #16 05-21-2004, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gldstwmn

Congratulations to you Brian and to everyone who is faithful. Johnny Stew is right. It's about more than the instant gratification.

I have more years of being in 1 relationship than anyone in my immediately family, Including my Mother & 2 older brothers...Who have all been married and divorced at least once.

I do not see a divorce anytime on the horizon in our relationship, Debbie couldnt live with herself knowing some other poor female would have to put up with me, SO...

GardenStateGirlie · #17 05-21-2004, 03:54 PM

I still maintain that people get married for the wrong reasons...because it's what most people feel you're supposed to do. I remember watching a show not too long ago where a woman said she couldn't wait to get married so she could have the wedding of her dreams. Hey, the wedding lasts one day...the marriage is supposed to be forever.

Now, i'm not saying that all married people don't love each other but I think a lot of people get married for security and because they don't want to be alone. What I don't think people realize is that not everyone has the same "happily ever after" and that maybe for a lot of people, marriage isn't and or shouldn't be a part of that.

Just a thought...

sparky · #18 05-21-2004, 04:17 PM

People are still faithful. Some. I can be !

I think I know two married couples who are faithful to each other. And are still on marriage number one. Everyone else cheats. Men are dogs - we are dogs. We're worse, but women do it too. And there is so little consequence, in most cases. This on top of the fact that most guys I know who cheat never wear condoms, if they can get away with it.

To think - someone lets them get away with it.

Barely anyone takes marriage seriously. Especially men ! If I had a nickel for every guy who was married with kids and hit on me...I couldn't buy a house, but I could go to Starbucks a few times.

Being single again, I am going to have to be dealing with this trash once again. Not excited about it. But hey, I have found people out there who are decent. Gotta kiss a lot of frogs. Cheating frogs.

Pisces Queen · #19 05-21-2004, 04:21 PM

Yes I agree and I also feel that people might feel pressured into getting married. I am asked a million times all the time "are you married?" I answer no & then I get "well why not?" Especially by friends or peers my age. I had a friend from high school call me to tell me of her marriage and pregnancy last year. I told her that I was happy for her and then she sneered "well when are you going to get married?" I answered that I am not dating anyone. She said well it's been 10 years, what's wrong with you. I politely answered that I was very happy and secure with my single status and last time I checked it wasn't any of her business. I ended the call in tears. I don't know why I let her get to me but it did. Now I have a 15 year HS reunion this June and I am sure I will hear the impending question on everyone's mind "ARE YOU MARRIED!?!?!"

GardenStateGirlie · #20 05-21-2004, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pisces Queen

Yes I agree and I also feel that people might feel pressured into getting married. I am asked a million times all the time "are you married?" I answer no & then I get "well why not?" Especially by friends or peers my age. I had a friend from high school call me to tell me of her marriage and pregnancy last year. I told her that I was happy for her and then she sneered "well when are you going to get married?" I answered that I am not dating anyone. She said well it's been 10 years, what's wrong with you. I politely answered that I was very happy and secure with my single status and last time I checked it wasn't any of her business. I ended the call in tears. I don't know why I let her get to me but it did. Now I have a 15 year HS reunion this June and I am sure I will hear the impending question on everyone's mind "ARE YOU MARRIED!?!?!"

It's so ridiculous! Who came up with this concept that you HAVE to be with someone in order to be happy? I've never understood this. You can be single and dating and be just as happy as if you were married with children, no?

sparky · #21 05-21-2004, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GardenStateGirlie

It's so ridiculous! Who came up with this concept that you HAVE to be with someone in order to be happy? I've never understood this. You can be single and dating and be just as happy as if you were married with children, no?

Evidently it is not so easy to be married with children and still happily have single friends. In some cases.

I have a number of straight, 30 something single women friends - and they ALL get grief from their married girlfriends. And acquaintances. But not from men ! It's the women who back them into a corner. As far as those people who ask the questions "What's wrong with you?" or "Why aren't you married?", I say F 'em. Their questions are all about themselves and their own dissatisfaction with their choices. Anyone who is happy with their lives - married, parents, single, WHATEVER - great ! If unhappy, shut up and leave everyone else alone !

I have been happy in a relationship, and happy outta one. It's all good. Guess you have to be happy with your choices and your situation. Otherwise, the fingers start a pointin' !

gldstwmn · #22 05-21-2004, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by estranged4life

I have more years of being in 1 relationship than anyone in my immediately family, Including my Mother & 2 older brothers...Who have all been married and divorced at least once.

I do not see a divorce anytime on the horizon in our relationship, Debbie couldnt live with herself knowing some other poor female would have to put up with me, SO...

gldstwmn · #23 05-21-2004, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pisces Queen

Yes I agree and I also feel that people might feel pressured into getting married. I am asked a million times all the time "are you married?" I answer no & then I get "well why not?" Especially by friends or peers my age. I had a friend from high school call me to tell me of her marriage and pregnancy last year. I told her that I was happy for her and then she sneered "well when are you going to get married?" I answered that I am not dating anyone. She said well it's been 10 years, what's wrong with you. I politely answered that I was very happy and secure with my single status and last time I checked it wasn't any of her business. I ended the call in tears. I don't know why I let her get to me but it did.

My whole theory on that is that conversation is much more about her own shortcomings than those that she perceives you to have.

DrummerDeanna · #24 05-21-2004, 06:15 PM

Well yea...Brian I'm glad to know there are still faithful people out there...I knew there had to be some!

And yeah, I agree that today many people get married for the wrong reasons, and a lot of times too young...everyone is different, but man when you look at the divorce rate along with the amount of people (who admit) to having affairs...marriage is like a joke...

I'm 24, my sister was married at 21 (she now says she was way too young...) and my cousins have all had kids by the time they were 20...(my sister got married...didn't have kids until 6 years later...and constantly got crap for it) It's like my family thinks there's something wrong with me because I'm not married, no longer in a relationship and DO NOT want children...I imagine there are a lot of people who get married simply because their families pressure them so much...

I'm really excited about being single right now...I'm not a relationship jumper (one who goes from relationship to relationship) and I'm looking forward to dating and such...BUT also I'm dreading what may be out there lol...

jadegypsy · #25 05-21-2004, 06:25 PM

Sorry have to inject some positivity into this thread. My parents will be celebrating thier 25th anniversiry this coming year, so yeah there are faithful people out there.

DeeGeMe · #26 05-21-2004, 06:26 PM

I get so much crap from other women because I'm still single and they're not. I'm 39 now and I've been in two long-term relationships but never married. I don't regret a thing. I've worked with other women who absolutely seemed to hate me because I was single! It's like they think that being single is a never-ending merry-go-round of fun. It can be but it can also be very tough-going. I've got no one but myself to count on.

In my experience, too many people get married because they think that's what they're "supposed" to do. And I've seen too many people who put much emphasis on their wedding day and not enough on their marriage. Or they get married in that first "bloom" of love and then are disappointed when the "excitement" wears off. Let's face it, the day-in, day-out thing of living together is hard work. And add kids and jobs in the mix and the stress has to be simply overwhelming at times. I guess this is where boredom sets in and the affairs begin. It's really very depressing when you think about it all. Some people seem to be able to figure it all out and get it right. Too many don't.

And for my single sisters (and brothers) out there who get the question, "Why aren't you married yet?" I always hit them with this: "When you can show me a happily married couple, I'll get married. I just don't happen to know any. Do you?" That usually shuts them up. Pisses them off, but it does shut them up!

One of my cousin's has been married three times. In fact, she'd been married 3 times by the time she was 35. Anyway, she saddles up to me and my other (then) unmarried cousin when we were in our early 20's and asks us "So, when are you two going to get married?" I looked at her and said, "Well, we figured that you'd already gotten married at least once for each of us so we don't have to!" She's never asked me that question again.

DrummerDeanna · #27 05-21-2004, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jadegypsy

Sorry have to inject some positivity into this thread. My parents will be celebrating thier 25th anniversiry this coming year, so yeah there are faithful people out there.

How dare you try to inject positivity

Just kidding..congrats to your parents..that is awesome....and those are the kinds of stories I"m looking for...I know marriage is a long hard road...and I admire people who can work through the hard times etc...It just seems to be a rarity nowadays...

DrummerDeanna · #28 05-21-2004, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeeGeMe

And for my single sisters (and brothers) out there who get the question, "Why aren't you married yet?" I always hit them with this: "When you can show me a happily married couple, I'll get married. I just don't happen to know any. Do you?" That usually shuts them up. Pisses them off, but it does shut them up!

One of my cousin's has been married three times. In fact, she'd been married 3 times by the time she was 35. Anyway, she saddles up to me and my other (then) unmarried cousin when we were in our early 20's and asks us "So, when are you two going to get married?" I looked at her and said, "Well, we figured that you'd already gotten married at least once for each of us so we don't have to!" She's never asked me that question again.

Awesome!! LOL...those are great responses...I'm just never ballsy enough to reply with stuff like that...unless I'm really pushed to the edge...

DeeGeMe · #29 05-21-2004, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

Awesome!! LOL...those are great responses...I'm just never ballsy enough to reply with stuff like that...unless I'm really pushed to the edge...

Deanna--I'm just older than you. It means I've had way too much practice in replying to these folks!

sara1998 · #30 05-23-2004, 12:14 AM

I was with my late husband for 5 years, married almost 3 when I was widowed. I was a very happliy married gal. I loved being married to him. I never once thought about cheating, and I don't think he ever did either. We were perfect for eachother. It will be a year the 29th that he died, and I haven't dated since. I don't look forward to starting that game up again anyhow. I miss being married to him. It's not that I miss the concept of being married, it was all about him. I am OK single. It's a little lonely at times, but I look at the fact that I have a 5 year old who dosen't need to see this man and that man being with mommy. The funny part about that is, is that no one else seems to look at it that way. Now that I am at my one year mark of being widowed, everyone sort of wants to pressure me about when I will start dating again.... Why the hell do I want to drag a man into my life and my daughter's life, just for the relationship to fall flat on it's face, and risk not only being hurt again, but hurting my kid? She's been through enough hell.

As far as being unfaithful, my mom had an affair on my dad when I was 15. I literally caught her in the act. I learned my lesson there. If your not happy, get out of the relationship. Don't hurt your family because of your unhappiness. Believe it or not, my folks are still together, and it will be 28 years in September. Thats commitment on my dad's part, because I probably would have left in a heartbeat.

Maria