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The Fleetwood Mac show
A little script I wrote involving the band. Hope you enjoy
ANNOUNCER-And now, her second favorite band. (cut to “The Fleetwood Mac Show” sketch. Show the band coming out. All sit in their seats) MICK-Good evening, and welcome to our show. (applause) MICK-Sick and tired of the unfairness of many debate shows? Sick of pundits like Bill O’reilly, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh. LINDSEY-I’d include that Tucker Carlson too. STEVIE-Well, this may be the antidote to such bigheads. On this show, you get both sides to any issue… (applause) STEVIE-(somewhat surprised) And no shouting. That’s our rule… (applause and cheering) MICK-And no interruptions… (more applause and cheering. Lindsey, Mick, and Stevie look at John) JOHN-Amazing. With just one button, I have the whole audience under control. What’s with these brainwashed folk? It’s their fault that there are pundits on Fox news that don’t even tell two pennysworth of truth. (gets up and whistles. Holds a penguin, ready to throw) Here boy. (throws penguin) Go fetch your fricking brain. (nervous laughter from the rest of the band and audience) MICK-Today, our guest is the very funny, Jon Stewart (no applause) MICK-Now you can press the button, Ellen. (applause and cheering) MICK-But first’s things first. Today in Ukraine, a new election has been held, and it is certain that Victor Yushchenko is a winner by a landslide. STEVIE-He used my song? How nice. LINDSEY-Who’s the other guy who ran? STEVIE-Heck if I know. MICK-I know his name is also Viktor. STEVIE-How can we tell the difference? MICK-Yushchenko is supported by the people and the other Victor is supported by the Communists. LINDSEY-I thought the Communists dissolved in 1987. No wait, that was the year I left the band. Damn, I’m getting my dates mixed up. JOHN-(to the audience) Look at this. If you argue in favor of bloody talk shows, then I rest my case against. Hell, they’re worse than O’reilly. At least he knows his facts beforehand. Mick, Lindsey, Stevie. I beg you to shut your bloody yaps before I… MICK-Let’s bring out our guest, Jon Stewart! (applause and cheering. Jon Stewart seems a bit confused when he comes out. He sits down) JON-I thought I was supposed to come out at twenty after. MICK-Change of plans. I apologize for the suddenness of that. JON-I’m good, Mick. LINDSEY-What’s your take on the election in Ukraine. JON-I’m glad it’s this way. I don’t mean the chaos that’s come of it, but it goes to show that democracy in Eastern Europe does work. The wall did not fall in vain. STEVIE-Who’s the guy who’s running against Yushchinky or whatever his name is? JON-I thought you knew already. I mean, you host a talk show. STEVIE-No I don’t know. Now please tell me, and stop acting like Johnny over there. JOHN-Didn’t you call Tucker Carlson a dick? Well I think I have another person who is just as much of a dick as that Carlson fellow. MICK-Hey! LINDSEY-You called Tucker Carlson a what? (a cut out hand pulls a lever and John falls through a trap door. Caption-How to get rid of pests. Segue into Talk sketch)
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Somehow, I really do see them being that dysfunctional. Good job! |
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I was inspired by the fact that anyone can have a bloody talk show (Jerry Springer, Sharon Osbourne etc) and an interview where John called Christine an "old cow". Nowadays, John is sober but is it possible for you all to imagine him still behaving like he did in the script?
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