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  #61  
Old 10-26-2008, 01:07 AM
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BTFLCHLD BTFLCHLD is offline
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Good to talk to you tonight, Brian.
I will give you a call again tomorrow.
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  #62  
Old 10-26-2008, 08:59 AM
Chrislit18 Chrislit18 is offline
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I just read this thread for the first time, and Brian, I can't even begin to express how sad I am for you. You are such a nice guy, and it sucks that this had to happen to you. I can't begin to know what that must feel like - what you're going through, or any of it - but I want you to know that I am sorry, and I wish there was something I could do to help you through your hard time.

Loosing someone special always hurts, and I hope that someday your pain is eased.
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  #63  
Old 10-26-2008, 01:36 PM
littlewolf littlewolf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by estranged4life View Post
Seat-belts don't save...Not in this case:

"She was wearing her seatbelt....BUT, that was a hinderance. With her position in the car, which was upside down on it's roof, the seatbelt cut off her breathing and she aphixated. Had someone seen the accident or arrived upon it immediately there-after she could have been pulled from the car and survived with only scrapes and two-minor lacerations on her arms" - M.E.
Had she not used seat-belt,she would've been thrown around and killed by that.It gave her a chance that sadly wasn't to be.

I use that date excuse myself,to beat myself,but
you have to remember,date doesn't mean anything,had it happened one day later,you wouldn't have thought,what a good luck.

If your house seems to haunt you with bad feelings,move.
It's only a house,you can take all the good memories with you wherever you go.
Things will look better,have a faith in better tomorrow.
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  #64  
Old 10-26-2008, 03:00 PM
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Default Please say a prayer for me

I am very sorry Brian to hear about your loss.My condolences to you and your family.I am sending Debbie and you my prayers.take care and be good to yourself.
Linds
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  #65  
Old 10-26-2008, 05:16 PM
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WildHeart69 WildHeart69 is offline
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Brian,

I am sorry to read the pages in this thread... I pray that you stay strong and get through this tough time.

Keep writing! Letting your emotions out through writing can be a great way to deal with the pain.

Best Wishes,

Mike
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  #66  
Old 10-26-2008, 06:31 PM
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WelshWitchPMD WelshWitchPMD is offline
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Brian, I am so sorry to hear about Debbie. I really don't know what to say. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
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  #67  
Old 10-26-2008, 07:02 PM
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Dear Brian..
My heart aches for you also...I send my thoughts and prayers to you and to the Heavens above that you will somehow find some peace in your heart and know that Love lives on always..

Hang in there ..Jill
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  #68  
Old 10-26-2008, 08:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littlewolf View Post
Had she not used seat-belt,she would've been thrown around and killed by that.It gave her a chance that sadly wasn't to be.
I'm just angry and sad at the same time...The M.E. told me the seat-belts, more than likely, will not be a factor in the 'final accident report', which now leaves the question of the unknown (I will be asking about the CPAP machine tomorrow)

I just want her back, the finance compacy can take the car, recycle it for parts (Which they will) and shove it up their UNCARING asses! I will GLADLY pay the $500 deductible in that case.

Oh, I still wear my seat-belt...and will until, uh...
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  #69  
Old 10-26-2008, 11:28 PM
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estranged4life estranged4life is offline
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Unhappy I'm not particularly...

Looking forward to this coming week, Tuesday will be the WORST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.

THE WORST.

How am I going to be able to let go and say 'goodbye' to someone who was a part of my life (Through all the goods & bads) for over 17 years? Someone who understood me when even I couldn't? I don't see a good outcome coming my way this Tuesday...I know what I am capable of and I am afraid....

I wouldnt wish my pain & agony on ANYONE...EVEN those I dislike...or HATE

I was reading the Oct.20th myspace blog entry I made, and indeed it was "prophetic" to say the least...Just not in the way I thought (Trust me, if I was asked to give up my life so Debbie would live I would without a second's thought - She offered more to life than I):


"October 20, 2008 - Monday

Superstitious is me...
Current mood: nervous
Category: Life


Usually this week of the year I am very superstitious in regards to the dates.

Let's see:

1 - Oct.18th - I think is the date (I may not have the 18th as an accurate date) when one of my Mom's cousins was killed in a drunken car accident that was someone elses fault.

2 - Oct 19th - In 1989, My 2 cousins Wendy & Wendell were killed in a car wreck, once again caused by some drunken ****er-on-a-stick, Who decided to try to outrun the police by driving into an intersection at around 90 MPH and his car became airborne and plowed into Wendy's car.

3 - Oct.21st - (1966) My older brother Geary's birthday - The ONLY positive in this strange days of October

4 - Oct 22nd - (1977) The day my father Geary Sr. was killed, yes again, by some drunken waste of sperm/humanity. Gee, and people QUESTION why I NEVER drink. Well DUH!!!

Now if occurences like this happened on non-consecutive days I could probably be able to feel less paranoid...But unfortunately I suffer from the "Johnson" family curse and that is "if the **** hits the fan, it is usually ours" (Well, that curse and the one with COLLECTING stuff, in my case, Compact discs!!!)

Went shopping this afternoon, and I drove as carefully as possible, but still there was about 4 times when IDIOTS in other automobiles SWERVED over the yellow line in my path - which led me to believe that either the state of Oklahoma allows anyone with the IQ of a common house-fly to possess a drivers license or that maybe, just maybe it was my time to fill in that DAMNED blank on the 20th by biting the weiner of life and going tits up in the ground (I prefer to be cremated - I dont want ASSHOLES at my graveside WHINING about caring/missing me when I know better, Because otherwise my zombie-fied carcass will fly out of the grave to tell them "Please, Shut the F**K up")

Well, Here's hoping to the rest of the week that I don't trip on a banana peel (I don't wear shoes with laces, so that is one less 'suicide by clumsiness' scenario outta the way) on fall over the infamous "Turd Burgular" (My WEIRD Norwegian Forest cat) and break my neck.

Till next time...UNLESS????!!!!"

------------------------------------------

I guess I could bury my pain in an alcohol/drug induced haze, but what would that accomplish? The problem will still be there...All I can do is face it and try to deal with it in my own way. I internalize things differently than most, I am sensitize to certain feelings moreso than most men and I am NOT afraid to show those emotions....and right now those emotions are flowing from me as fast as I can type.

But I am STILL HERE...Still grasping on the Ledge (Again, no pun intended) and trying to hang on to 'this thing called life'. If I go down, IT WILL BE WITH A FIGHT!!!

Last edited by estranged4life; 10-27-2008 at 12:05 AM..
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  #70  
Old 10-27-2008, 11:00 AM
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Hi Brian, I'm thinking about you today Hon...just thought you'd want to know.

Luv -n- Hugs,

Gretch
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  #71  
Old 10-27-2008, 11:19 AM
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^^^
Wanna know what is ironic (But not shocking either), the Medical Examiner and I talked about other things in our lives besides the 'obvious'...

And he will be sending me a CD of the band he played in so I can attempt to fix digital skips on that copy. Man, seems people know somehow that I am a music junkie and audiophile (The M.E. knew Debbie from her work at the hospital) so I will be fixing that for him.

Weird...
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  #72  
Old 10-27-2008, 11:58 AM
madformac madformac is offline
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Brian, I've only just found out about this and I had no idea, I don't really use the internet any more and so I'm sorry for only just posting here but I didn't know where else to find you.

I'm so very very sorry for your loss and you have all my sympathies, not that they are of any use I'm sure. I think you've gone through more trauma than anyone I've ever met and you still have the heart of a lion dude.

I recall many fond memories of Debbie and even though we have never physically met I feel I've shared, as have many here, your good times, and of course the tough times too. I think its only in these times of loss and extreme circumstances that someone's real character comes out and I know yours is of a very strong and couragous man.. You are one hell of a guy Brian.

You have had to carry so much on your shoulders yet you still have so much respect and time for others, your family and friends, and even people like me, 4000 miles away. It's quite amazing. You care about everybody and everybody here cares about you, so you hang in there man. You've been through too much **** to give it up. Use it, use it and embrace it, try and make sense of it all and do something positive, otherwise all you have been through will be for nothing.

Brian, you have all my thoughts and prayers. I hope you find the answers you need, take care my friend,

Justin.

Last edited by madformac; 10-27-2008 at 12:00 PM..
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  #73  
Old 10-27-2008, 12:51 PM
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I just choked up by reading Justin's post. You're still a great guy Justin! Brian, I can only say that above post represents my feelings too. Hell, this religionless soul will even pray for you man.

Gerald
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  #74  
Old 10-27-2008, 05:17 PM
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Thoughts and prayers go out to you. Take care and be well.

Matt
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  #75  
Old 10-27-2008, 05:23 PM
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Brian, I just wanted to offer my condolences too. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I will be thinking of you on Tuesday.
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