Would you be mad?

[skcin]

Hubby & I got into it yesterday. When Ry, Curtis & I went to the Pittsburgh show, Ry & I slept in the same bed. For those of you that don't know, he's gay & we've been friends for about 10 years. There were only 2 beds & 3 people, so we shared.

So, I had friend over (including Ry) the other night & we were laughing about how at home I have a husband to kick me in our sleep & in Pitts I had a gay boyfirend kicking me.

The next day, hubby told me that he thought that it was wrong that I slept in the same bed with Ryan & that it had better not ever happen again. I said I didn't think there was any difference with sharing a bed with my gay male friend or my straight female friends if there's not enough beds. I told him if it upset him that much, it wouldn't happen again. I also told him that if he finds a lesbian friend, he can sleep in the same bed as her & then we'll be even.

But I still don't get it - we slept on opposite ends of the bed back to back. It's not like we were spooning or anything. What do you guys think? Apparently if this situation comes up again, I'll be sleeping in the tub.

[eclipse]

Hi Paula
I think my husband would react the same way...
Is it right? No.
But guys just have this "Thing" about gay men. I can understand how it would make your husband uncomfortable.
Remember, as girls...we used to sleep over our friends house and share a bed and think nothing of it- So I am sure you look at Curtis the same way- (No offense meant C- ), but like you said you wouuld think nothing of sharing the bed with a girlfriend..(Me either. I went out to California last year to visit my best friend and we stayed in luxury hotels all up the coast of Ca. during our adventures, some only had 1 bed-no big deal, we shared)...
Men, when they are boys, don't really "do" sleepovers and they don't share the bed with their boyfriends...know what I mean?
So, I think that to your husband this must seem very strange-

I am sure if my husband were put into a situation where he was with another straight guy and there were only 1 bed available he would say- "Hey, no problem, I'll take the floor" (and mean it!!). It's just a guy thing- I think

Just a thought...
~~eclipse~~

[DrummerDeanna]

Actually I would be a bit mad if it were the other way around.

BUT I tend to be a jealous person, and I've been working on that so I don't know.

I mean I don't think there was anything wrong with you sleeping with your gay friends, but if the shoe were on the other foot would it really not bother you for your husband to sleep in the same bed with a lesbian?

I don't know - some people really aren't bothered by stuff like that - but some are. Either way - sucks that you and your hubby had a row over it.

[skcin]

Yeah, that sounds right. He didn't freak out or anything, but I was upset because I really don't think I did anything wrong. If I had any clue he would react this way, I would have asked for a cot or something.

Boys.

[eclipse]

So.........

Live and learn.....right? Next time you'll know

and I agree-boys

[skcin]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

Actually I would be a bit mad if it were the other way around.

BUT I tend to be a jealous person, and I've been working on that so I don't know.

I mean I don't think there was anything wrong with you sleeping with your gay friends, but if the shoe were on the other foot would it really not bother you for your husband to sleep in the same bed with a lesbian?

I don't know - some people really aren't bothered by stuff like that - but some are. Either way - sucks that you and your hubby had a row over it.

I've been thinking about that - in theory, I really don't think I'd get upset if he slept in the same bed as a gay chick. Of course, in reality, if said gay chick is a hot blond with huge boobs, I'm sure I'd feel differently whether it was warranted or not.

We're all good, it's blown over, I guess I was just a little shocked at his reaction. He rarely gets mad about stuff. I apologized & made the solemn vow never to make a gay man my bed buddy again. Sorry Curty, but our future looks bleak.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by skcin

I've been thinking about that - in theory, I really don't think I'd get upset if he slept in the same bed as a gay chick. Of course, in reality, if said gay chick is a hot blond with huge boobs, I'm sure I'd feel differently whether it was warranted or not.

We're all good, it's blown over, I guess I was just a little shocked at his reaction. He rarely gets mad about stuff. I apologized & made the solemn vow never to make a gay man my bed buddy again. Sorry Curty, but our future looks bleak.

But if she had a mullet, sleeveless flannel shirt and biker boots it would be as big a deal, right? Lol....kidding.

[skcin]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

But if she had a mullet, sleeveless flannel shirt and biker boots it would be as big a deal, right? Lol....kidding.

Exaaactly.

[GardenStateGirlie]

Apparently your husband has never seen an episode of Will & Grace Gay men are -- gay. Aside from having breast envy and being the greatest shopping partner and one of the best listeners you will ever have in your life, they have zero sexual attraction to you. I don't get what the big deal is but then again, i'm not married Oh, and your spot on that if it was some lipstick lesbian with huge breasts who was beautiful, he'd probably be like, "that's fine." Typical male reaction

[GypsySorcerer]

Last summer, my best friend, who is gay, shared my bed when he visited. He offered to sleep on the couch, but I told him it was ridiculous since I have a queen-sized bed. We also roomed together for a year in college, though we had separate bedrooms. I didn't think it was a big deal.

But one night when he was here, my ex-boyfriend called and I said something about Eric being in bed next to me. Now, he knows Eric and likes him, but he still reacted strangely.

Anyway, I'm glad you're all good.

[The Tower]

I slept in the same bed with one of my really good friends, who happens to be a bisexual woman. My partner didn't have an issue with it.

Jealousy is weird. I don't get it. Straight guys are even more weird when it comes to their outlook on gay men. I think it's interesting how insecurity can worm its way out into the open in certain situations.

The internet psychiatrist in me suspects that your husband envies your gay boyfriend because perhaps your gay boyfriend provides you something that he cannot.

[skcin]

^ Could be. Jealous of our Mac bond, lol.


It's odd, cuz he's not the jealous type at all. I think it was more about the fact that although I wasn't hiding it, I didn't come home & say "guess what, I was in bed with Ryan!" It came up in casual conversation later - to be honest, I really did think I had mentioned this previously to him. But any time I talk about Stevie/Mac at all, I get this: He may have tuned me out initially.

[Miss Vicky]

I'm not in a relationship, so I can't really say for sure, but I don't think I'd have a problem with it.

I've shared a bed with a gay friend of mine several times and it'd be mighty hypocritical of me to have a problem if my (hypothetical) significant other did the same.

Although it should be said that not all straight men are really insecure with the idea of gay men or the sharing of beds. My best friend's straight brother has shared a bed with my gay friend when there's been a shortage of sleeping spots.

[sodascouts]

Yeah, I'd have to agree it seems to be a guy thing. We girls may think nothing of sleeping with a gay man, but in truth, as you admitted Paula, if my (currently hypothetical) boyfriend slept with a hot lesbian I might feel a bit uncomfortable. The truth is the parts are right for there to be trouble.

Also, it's kind of a compliment (as long as he doesn't go overboard and get nasty). Your husband is, of course, very attracted to you. It's probably all too easy for him to imagine that even a gay guy might find you desirable enough to make you the exception to his rule.

[skcin]

^ I must be so hot he thinks I can turn a gay guy! Yeah, that's it!