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  #1  
Old 06-18-2018, 10:28 AM
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DownOnRodeo DownOnRodeo is offline
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Default Madame Nicks Presents: An Evening of Classic Mac

Coming to a town fair near you...

=========

STEVIE

(lights candles)

Gather round, my children. My gypsy urchins. My forgotten chimpanzees.

(plays a stunning array of two chords on piano with fervent intensity)

Welcome to an Evening of Classic Mac, with me your host--Madame Nicks.

Some say this is my band now.

But then again... some say illusions are my game.

(attempts dramatic David Copperfield flourish but gets tangled in glittery shawl)

CHRISTINE

(polite cough)
Can we play some music now?

STEVIE

(makes gesture to sound guy to cut Chris' mic)

The history of Fleetwood Mac is long and storied. Just like my song introductions.
And nobody knows its history quite like me, its foremost storyteller and poet. The writer of its sole US #1 song. A song called Dreams. Which I wrote.

And so, let's take a dream together, shall we? Back through the mists of time, to where it all began. Yes, with that cute little blues band in London.

That's right--who could forget Rick Mayall & the Studebakers?

After all, that was where my darling backing musicians, Mick and John, first met and played together. The rest is history. And I know it all. Because I have listened to all the old albums. At least once. Sometime in the evening of December 31, 1974. Possibly while cleaning the apartment.

When people ask me, "Stevie, which member from the band's past has left the most indelible impression on its legacy?" I say to them, "Hah! That's any easy one. Let's see here--Bob... Bob Brunning? No. Wait. It's Bob West... Bob Westeros. Best Western. No, it's Bob.. Ricky Bobby. Bobby Brown... Bob.. You know what? Just all of them. They are all my children. The forgotten Bobs."

(band gets restless and starts playing opening strains of Station Man)

Another classic from the Mac of yore! You know, Station Master is one of my favorites.

Because it was Christine's first song, after she quit Shake Shack and joined us.

CHRISTINE

(quietly into mic)

This song was written by Danny Kirwan, actually.

STEVIE

(rattles tambourine loudly)

Sorry Chris, couldn't hear you there.

And so the band's name grew, until the legend became a myth, and the guitarists started going missing.

For me, the Bob Welsh years are a blur. I got Lindsey to listen to those ones. I was tired from all the cleaning. But who could forget such classic Welsh hits as... Hypothesize? Or my personal favorite... Emeraldize?

CHRIS, MICK, and JOHN

Good night, everyone!
Thank you!
Good night.

STEVIE

Wha--Wait, I'd only just started my talk...

JOHN

We're doing them a favour. You don't know what you're talking about.

MADAME NICKS

(makes spell-casting gesture)

May the ghost of Peter Green follow you down and haunt you!

MICK

Peter is still alive. I had tea with him just the other weekend.

MADAME NICKS

(hurls a crystal ball onto the stage floor, and disappears in a cloud of smoke)
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  #2  
Old 06-18-2018, 10:33 AM
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That's pretty much how I imagine it playing out. $tevie Nick$ Fajitawood Mac Roundup.
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and Stevie Nicks was starting to lumber along like a sod-packed wheelbarrow.
And I'm David, not Homer!(we all should be able to change our name, at least once)
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  #3  
Old 06-18-2018, 11:05 AM
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lol! That "Station Man" mistake was pretty embarrassing.

I speculated in another thread that the reason she seized upon "Station Man" as a great classic Fleetwood Mac song was she that she remembered singing harmony on it back in 1975, and thus felt comfortable talking about it. However, she obviously forgot Lindsey sang lead on it.

Oops!
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Old 06-18-2018, 12:03 PM
FuzzyPlum FuzzyPlum is offline
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Brilliant DownOnRodeo, just brilliant.
Looking forward to the closing speech too.
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  #5  
Old 06-18-2018, 06:14 PM
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Some people have way too much time on their hands.
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  #6  
Old 06-18-2018, 09:49 PM
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DownOnRodeo, that was awesome!

Please write more.....I didn't want it to end! And the ending was hysterical as she disappeared in a puff of smoke.........

Last edited by lovethemac1 : 06-18-2018 at 09:51 PM.
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  #7  
Old 06-20-2018, 06:55 AM
jbrownsjr jbrownsjr is offline
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Hahaha.. how did I miss this?? Hilarious!
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  #8  
Old 06-20-2018, 01:51 PM
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Talking Rotflmao!!

I burst out laughing at work when I hit, "The forgotten Bobs"

This is absolute brilliance. Thanks, Joe.
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  #9  
Old 06-21-2018, 12:30 AM
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Default Wondergirl!

Christy!
Lovely to see you.
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  #10  
Old 06-21-2018, 11:26 AM
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Christy + Joe = two of my favorite Ledgies.
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  #11  
Old 06-21-2018, 01:47 PM
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Christy!
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  #12  
Old 06-21-2018, 11:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sodascouts View Post
Christy + Joe = two of my favorite Ledgies.
Good kids. Joe's the guy who got I Know I'm Not Wrong back in the Fleetwood set, as I recall. I don't know how he did it. How'd you do it, Joe?
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  #13  
Old 06-22-2018, 01:12 AM
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Default Everything was alright, and now it's gone!

Quote:
Originally Posted by David View Post
Joe's the guy who got I Know I'm Not Wrong back in the Fleetwood set, as I recall. I don't know how he did it. How'd you do it, Joe?
How to (help) get a song added to the setlist

Step 1 - Be a deranged fan at the peak of his/her fan-ness

Step 2 - Design and print a custom t-shirt featuring the name of an undervalued song

Step 3 - Stalk the songwriter at their hotel lobby after a show

Step 4 - Point to your shirt expressively, in lieu of being able to hold up your end of a coherent conversation

Step 5 - Be pleasantly surprised when song is subsequently added to setlist--but ironically never end up seeing it played live yourself

Step 6 - Enjoy basking in undeserved praise from other fans for decades thereafter!
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  #14  
Old 06-22-2018, 10:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DownOnRodeo View Post
How to (help) get a song added to the setlist

Step 1 - Be a deranged fan at the peak of his/her fan-ness

Step 2 - Design and print a custom t-shirt featuring the name of an undervalued song

Step 3 - Stalk the songwriter at their hotel lobby after a show

Step 4 - Point to your shirt expressively, in lieu of being able to hold up your end of a coherent conversation

Step 5 - Be pleasantly surprised when song is subsequently added to setlist--but ironically never end up seeing it played live yourself

Step 6 - Enjoy basking in undeserved praise from other fans for decades thereafter!
Before you embark upon Step 1, there is what we must call, for what of a better label, "Step 0 - Be Brilliant!"
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