Why did Stevie have the abortion?

[twinmatrix]

Hey guys, I hope this isn't too sensitive of a subject to ask.

I read that Goodbye Baby / The Tower is possibly written about her abortion with Don, and that it's confirmed Sara is partially about the baby as well.

Do we know why she had the abortion? If I listen to Goodbye Baby it almost sounds like she was "forced" to do it (mentally or circumstance-wise).

[louielouie2000]

Stevie has said for decades that she chose not to have children for the sake of art/her career. She felt if she would have taken Fleetwood Mac offline for 2 years to have a child that the band would have split up. Conversely, she's also said many times that she feels it was her purpose to create art during her time here... not have children.

It's also worth noting her relationship with Henley, and others during that era, was pretty short lived and not that serious or stable. It's important to remember that both Stevie & Don were very much playing the field during that time period and were dating pretty much anyone & everyone. After all, Fleetwood Mac and the Eagles were at the height of their respective fame during the late 70s when Stevie & Don briefly dated. Both bands were either touring the world or recording in various studios constantly. They couldn't have seen much of each other to establish a solid relationship worthy of raising a child. Not to mention Don Henley is reported to be a massive jerk, especially towards women. It's no wonder Stevie didn't want to be a mother at that point- especially for him.

[olive]

because it was her right to choose

[gssmith]

Originally Posted by olive

because it was her right to choose

Yep. Besides kids suck. I'm good with kids, but for only a few hours. I couldn't have kids either. They turn into little assholes. Kids tend to be mean. Not their fault they are still learning social behavior. Then they grow up go be teens/young aldults. Nothing but heart ache and drama.
I don't think she felt like she could have been a responsible parent as a rock star. Also with all the drugs she was on, the kid would have come out retarded.

[KarmaContestant]

Stevie has talked about how there just wasn't time for anything else other than Fleetwood Mac. No time for a steady relationship, let alone a child. She was young, in her prime, partying, travelling, living the dream and seeing the world. Even though women every day manage to walk both sides of the line, Stevie didn't feel it was the right thing to do, *for her*, to bring a child into her crazy jet-fueled world of drugs, sex and rock and roll. From an outsider's point of view, it may seem a little bit selfish, but I honestly think it would have been a terrible thing if she'd had children in those days. Maybe it would have calmed her, maybe there would have been no Betty Ford, no Klonopin, no breakup of Fleetwood Mac after Tango - but maybe it would have been worse.

This brings me to Hard Advice from 24 Karat Gold. There has been some discussion on who the lyrics are about, other than Tom Petty filling the role of the 'best friend'. To me, the lyrics are not about a person, but about a life lived; about overcoming all the grief and regret and pain from *all* the choices she made and the failures she had experienced. It was 1995, before The Dance, and her life was in a slump despite coming out of Klonopin detox. She had to face, finally, all the hard memories and pain she had been covering up with drugs and escapism; after all those years of self-medicating with cocaine and then Klonopin, the reality of her choices was there in the daylight, plain to see. She was sober, finally, really for the first time since the mid-70's, and it was time to get over all of her past mistakes and decisions that led her to where she was at that moment. There was no husband, there was no Lindsey, there was no child, there was no Fleetwood Mac - there wasn't even a public interest in her career. Street Angel was a flop. No more medicating, no more hiding. It's time to get over it - this pain's gone on too long. Don't buy that doll. Come in out of the darkness, for real this time. And until you do, you're going nowhere.

And she did!

[Jondalar]

She did the right thing. She wouldn't have time to raise it. The world doesn't need another screwed up unhappy soul walking around contemplating suicide. If she did have a kid back then it probably wouldn't of come out right because of the drugs and booze.

[studyinscarlet]

Originally Posted by twinmatrix

Hey guys, I hope this isn't too sensitive of a subject to ask.

I read that Goodbye Baby / The Tower is possibly written about her abortion with Don, and that it's confirmed Sara is partially about the baby as well.

Do we know why she had the abortion? If I listen to Goodbye Baby it almost sounds like she was "forced" to do it (mentally or circumstance-wise).

Henley didn't want it. She talked to him and she said he didn't give one hint about actually keeping the baby. So, jet booty calls and then abort the kid. I wonder what decisions she would have made if it weren't for the drugs. You get high, eff around and things happen. Too bad she didn't have the baby. I think using the reasoning that she has said, such as the kid would have been messed up growing up doesn't work. Her mother, I'm sure, would have agreed that having a messed up kid is no reason to not have it. She had one and Stevie came out of it. I feel sorry for Stevie, but it takes two to tango. And I'm sorry she chose to kill the baby. I think she must have regrets about that deep down. Life with drugs is no life.

Ps. I'm very pro-life. I love Stevie.

[PenguinHead]

It just wasn't meant to be. I can't see Stevie in a mother role.

It's interesting to note that the two women in Fleetwood Mac never had children, yet Lindsey, John and Mick are fathers. Not the odds one would typically expect!

Does Beka have kids?

[bombaysaffires]

Men with high-powered careers have children because-- historically anyway-- it's been much easier for them than women with high-powered careers. No one expected a man to actually give up his career just because he fathered a kid. No one actually expected a man to be responsible for the primary raising of the kid (and don't let's start a flame war on this, I'm talking overall in our culture. I'm aware there were exceptions, and more so today). If a man was gone for months on end for his work (whatever it was) well that was "what men had to do" to support a family. Rules were different for women. There's a saying that if a kid has, let's say, 6 school functions in the year-- plays, recitals, whatever-- and a dad made it to 2 or 3 of those he got praised for making any of them. If a mom went to 5 out of 6, everyone would focus on how she missed the one event and what a selfish mother she was. It's just how it went, and in some places, still goes.

So if Stevie or Chris had a kid, there wouldn't be a lot of support structure……wives were expected to stay home and raise the kids and support their husband's career and not complain. It was very uncommon for a man to take care of all the domestic stuff so his wife could further her career. There weren't "mr. moms" and it was considered emasculating. If you look at most of the famous women in music, including the greats in country music, you see that most of them either didn't have kids, had cheating philandering husbands and several divorces, or had really messed up kids that were raised by other people-- nannies, grandparents, whatever. Women were criticized for not raising their kids right but then managers and promoters and whoever were not so sympathetic to making schedules and things work around families. And husbands weren't raised to think in terms of sharing the load equally. So there wasn't a lot of support for having kids.

Nowadays you have performers like Gwen Stefani or Fergie or Faith Hill or Beyonce or whoever who actually take a break in their careers to have kids and then come back and the public is ok with that. Stevie was always worried that taking time off would hurt her career and she is hugely career driven.

So, even though I think she didn't really truly want the reality of kids, just like she really truly doesn't want to deal with the reality and compromises of marriage or a heavy monogamous relationship [although she really likes the idea of both]…even if she *had* wanted kids, the business and the culture was stacked against her being able to do both kids and career.

[Jondalar]

Originally Posted by olive

just out of curiosity

Would y'all be this supportive if you had a neighbor /co-worker / friend who was a drug addict knowing had sex with someone else's husband and used abortion as a form of birth control ?

Yes I would be happy she never had children and I'm sure her unborn children are happy they never had to come into consciousness in that environment. What a life of hell.

[michelej1]

Originally Posted by Jondalar

Yes I would be happy she never had children and I'm sure her unborn children are happy they never had to come into consciousness in that environment. What a life of hell.

Please. I doubt Stevie's children would have had a "life of hell." If anything they might have been raised by a nanny and a little neglected by their mom, but I don't think life would be miserable for them.

Michele

[Macfan4life]

I highly doubt the song Goodbye Baby is a literal translation as to an abortion. Stevie would never write so bluntly. Its a song about an end of a relationship. The song sara was about the abortion. There is an interview she did in 1991 where she admitted if she had the baby and it was a girl, her name would be sara. The spooky part of Sara live was the added phrase "and then a heartbeat and you never really die." The context of those lyrics are pretty shocking. I know today she says Sara is about Mick and he definitely was part of it.

[olive]

[QUOTE=SisterNightroad;1156394]I don't think you should say that she used abortion as form of birth control, because it isn't a contraceptive method and defining it as such is misleading and has a negative influence./QUOTE]
Didn't she have four?

[StreetAngel86]

Originally Posted by SisterNightroad

I don't think you should say that she used abortion as form of birth control, because it isn't a contraceptive method and defining it as such is misleading and has a negative influence.
Beside that, you don't know what kind of birth control method she used, maybe as the majority of people she used the natural method but it didn't work like many times happens. This was especially true for the seventies before the spreading of AIDS.

agree.
but i dont get why y'all are even assuming she used ANY form of birth control in the first place. this was the 70s ... and prob early 80s ... and girls and boys, there was a lot o drugs going around in both bands. i hardly think after excessive coke and alco consumption any form of birth control is going to be a priority

[gypsyhelena]

The only person who has full knowledge of all the reasons behind Stevie's decisions regarding her abortion(s?) is Stevie herself, and that's okay. Her body, her choice (which I'm sure was a difficult choice for her to make).