The Gay Thread

[Dex]

Well, let's face it, loads of us are gay. Anyone else want to discuss how awesome that is? Or, well... We can discuss anything you like, really.

Gay things that I've done today:

• My husband

• Watched HBO's Looking on Amazon Instant Video, which has turned out to be kinda awesome. Finally a show about gay guys who I actually like and find maybe a little relatable. I wanted Queer as Folk to be that show so badly when I was a teenager, but it just... yeah. And The New Normal, as likeable and funny as it was, was a bit Stepford-Gay for me. Looking is like a breath of fresh air in comparison.

• Recalled some humorous moments from the Golden Girls marathon I held last night.

Hm... ok... thinking about it, I seem to have basically just watched an enormous amount of TV this weekend. But it's cloudy out! Not my fault, right? The situation is completely out of my hands.

[Artemis]

Well, I just got back from Gran Canaria on Friday, saw a load of drag shows, had sex with a lot of guys and drank enough cocktails to take down an elephant. Gayest holiday ever

As for today though... I have a date later on with a guy who's been chasing me for ages. Hopefully it's gonna go well!

[Dex]

You've out-gayed me, Artemis! I'm thoroughly impressed and a little jealous. Hope you had fun.

Let us know how your date goes!

Odd though it may be, I'm not sure I've ever actually even been on a "proper date". I went from basically-just-goofing-off-with-friends-who-have-some-sex-with-me as a teenager and then met my now-husband when I was 20. And he lived halfway around the world from me so "dating" in the traditional sense just wasn't in the cards. I think I may have missed out! Although knowing me the entire dating process would've likely made me a nervous wreck, so maybe it was for the best.

[louielouie2000]

I've always been told I'm more like a lesbian than a gay man. I tend to jump between "marriages" vs dating/hooking up. I don't like the bar scene... I prefer outdoorsy stuff like hiking & swimming. I am not fashionable... give me home improvement projects instead. I've restored a few classic cars. Own a motorcycle. Currently drive a Subaru.

Don't get me wrong, though. A Golden Girls marathon will completely hypnotize me. I love listening to vintage Madonna on road trips. And I guess that's about it.

[Dex]

Originally Posted by louielouie2000

I've always been told I'm more like a lesbian than a gay man. I tend to jump between "marriages" vs dating/hooking up. I don't like the bar scene... I prefer outdoorsy stuff like hiking & swimming. I am not fashionable... give me home improvement projects instead. I've restored a few classic cars. Own a motorcycle. Currently drive a Subaru.

I get that a lot too, although I have the DIY skills of a 5 year old girl. My inclination to read/study and talk about things rather than go out partying gets me the "lesbian" label quite a bit.

I know it's wreckless stereotyping and we should all be ashamed of ourselves for being so simplistically minded, but... well... Stereotypes are fun, aren't they? Is it ok to admit that? I get a kick out of them. We're all much more complicated than that, obviously, but I laugh at the jokes.

[markolas]

I think I come off as more masculine than I'd like, so I make up for it by having as many stereotypically gay interests as possible. Well, stereotypically gay interests for a 75-year old, anyway.

[Dex]

Do you think straight men worry about having too many "stereotypically straight" interests? Like, ever? I would say rarely, but the notion kind of tickles me.

[markolas]

Stereotypes always have a little bit of truth in them.

I prefer to celebrate them (the ones that aren't vile and disgusting) as an antidote to shame, that is still much more pervasive in our community than it should be.

I've never seen Looking. I recently re-watched QAF and was struck by how dated it seemed, and it's been off the air less than a decade. Nearly as dated as The Boys in the Band, although there are aspects of both that are still relevant.

[Dex]

Originally Posted by markolas

Stereotypes always have a little bit of truth in them.

I prefer to celebrate them (the ones that aren't vile and disgusting) as an antidote to shame, that is still much more pervasive in our community than it should be.

I've never seen Looking. I recently re-watched QAF and was struck by how dated it seemed, and it's been off the air less than a decade. Nearly as dated as The Boys in the Band, although there are aspects of both that are still relevant.

I had a friend come and stay with me for a week this month, I hadn't seen him in at about 8 months, and he's definitely internalised a lot of stereotype-shame since the last time I saw him. He works out obsessively, hates his "gay voice", has become obsessed with "social standing" and getting ahead at work, and is just visibly uncomfortable with himself which has led him to become bitter. It's all very incongruous with the sweeter-than-sweet nice-to-everybody super-relaxed guy I used to know, although that guy's still in the mix. Just a bit sad to see. It's like he's going through a second adolescence in his late 20s, now that he has a disposable income and a place of his own and so can be a more "active" gay guy for the first time. I wonder how common that is among our folk.

See Looking, markolas. I found it wonderful.

And yes, QAF has certainly not aged well, but is still "important" in its way.

[sorcerer999]

AbsoLUTEly queer!!!

I'm also on the more masculine end of the spectrum as far as how I dress, talk, etc. but that's about it.

My interests/hobbies tend to "single me out" as the "gay one" with my group of friends in regards to things like my psycho obsession for Stevie, Dolly, Kate Bush, Roxy Music and the Scissor Sisters...not to mention being the only guy in my adult contemporary dance class, and having a DVD collection where 90% star strong fab female characters.

My other stereotype is that I'm in the gym every morning 5 days a week. I guess I'm vain in that way.

I don't really participate in the "gay scene" here in Nashville. It's kind of pathetic, to be honest. I don't do the bars or clubs. I guess my idea of a fun Friday or Saturday night would be hanging out at home with my puppy and a couple of close friends, sharing bottle of wine, listening to music and talking smack about people.

Now that I think of it, this is probably why I haven't been on a date or gotten laid in almost a year.

[markolas]

Am I the only person who's like this? I close myself off (not consciously) to straight people in real life and only actively pursue friendships with other gay people. I think part of the reason is that where I grew up, I felt so isolated - I was the only gay person I knew. After I moved to Austin, I guess I decided that I'd never be in that position again. Perhaps I ended up overcompensating.

I've only started thinking about this lately, although I've been doing it for years and years. I don't think there's anything wrong with, I just think it's interesting.

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by markolas

Am I the only person who's like this? I close myself off (not consciously) to straight people in real life and only actively pursue friendships with other gay people. I think part of the reason is that where I grew up, I felt so isolated - I was the only gay person I knew. After I moved to Austin, I guess I decided that I'd never be in that position again. Perhaps I ended up overcompensating.

I've only started thinking about this lately, although I've been doing it for years and years. I don't think there's anything wrong with, I just think it's interesting.

I'm pretty much the opposite. Now that I'm in my 30s nearly all of my friends are straight. These days I relate to straight people better (unless they have kids), and the friendships are just easier. There's always either sexual tension or competition amongst gay men. When I was in my 20s I loved that part of the game. Nowadays I can't be bothered.

[TrueFaith77]

Here are the 21 Best Gay Films of the 21st Century:

https://rateyourmusic.com/list/johnd..._21st_century/


21 Best Gay Films of the 21st Century
1. Raging Sun, Raging Sky (Julian Hernandez, 2009)
2. Broken Sky (Julian Hernandez, 2006)
3. The Witnesses (Andre Techine, 2008)
4. I Am Happiness on Earth (Julian Hernandez, 2014)
5. Son frere (Patrice Chereau, 2004)
6. Unforgivable (Andre Techine, 2012)
7. A Thousand Clouds of Peace (Julian Hernandez, 2004)
8. Yossi (Eytan Fox, 2013)
9. Three Dancing Slaves (Gael Morel, 2005)
10. My Life On Ice (Olivier Ducastel & Jacques Martineau, 2003)
11. Infamous (Douglas McGrath, 2006)
12. Garcon stupide (Lionel Baier, 2005)
13. Time To Leave (Francois Ozon, 2006)
14. Changing Times (Andre Techine, 2005)
15. The Skinny (Patrik-Ian Polk, 2012)
16. Porn Theater (Jacques Nolot, 2003)
17. The Adventures of Felix (Olivier Ducastel & Jacques Martineau, 2001)
18. Bear Cub (Miguel Albaladejo, 2004)
19. I Love You Philip Morris (Glenn Ficcarra & John Requa, 2010)
20. Our Paradise (Gael Morel, 2013)
21. Of Time and the City (Terence Davies, 2009)

[sorcerer999]

Originally Posted by TrueFaith77

Here are the 21 Best Gay Films of the 21st Century:

https://rateyourmusic.com/list/johnd..._21st_century/


21 Best Gay Films of the 21st Century
1. Raging Sun, Raging Sky (Julian Hernandez, 2009)
2. Broken Sky (Julian Hernandez, 2006)
3. The Witnesses (Andre Techine, 2008)
4. I Am Happiness on Earth (Julian Hernandez, 2014)
5. Son frere (Patrice Chereau, 2004)
6. Unforgivable (Andre Techine, 2012)
7. A Thousand Clouds of Peace (Julian Hernandez, 2004)
8. Yossi (Eytan Fox, 2013)
9. Three Dancing Slaves (Gael Morel, 2005)
10. My Life On Ice (Olivier Ducastel & Jacques Martineau, 2003)
11. Infamous (Douglas McGrath, 2006)
12. Garcon stupide (Lionel Baier, 2005)
13. Time To Leave (Francois Ozon, 2006)
14. Changing Times (Andre Techine, 2005)
15. The Skinny (Patrik-Ian Polk, 2012)
16. Porn Theater (Jacques Nolot, 2003)
17. The Adventures of Felix (Olivier Ducastel & Jacques Martineau, 2001)
18. Bear Cub (Miguel Albaladejo, 2004)
19. I Love You Philip Morris (Glenn Ficcarra & John Requa, 2010)
20. Our Paradise (Gael Morel, 2013)
21. Of Time and the City (Terence Davies, 2009)

In my opinion, 90% of gay themed films are atrocious. There was an episode of "Will & Grace" where both Will and Jack are helping Karen's nerdy cousin come out of the closet. I do believe one of them says, "Let me tell you a little secret that we try to keep within the community. Gay movies suck but until the laws change we're still obligated to go see 'em."

I must be a bad gay man because I've only seen one film on this list. :/

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by sorcerer999

In my opinion, 90% of gay themed films are atrocious. There was an episode of "Will & Grace" where both Will and Jack are helping Karen's nerdy cousin come out of the closet. I do believe one of them says, "Let me tell you a little secret that we try to keep within the community. Gay movies suck but until the laws change we're still obligated to go see 'em."

I must be a bad gay man because I've only seen one film on this list. :/

I've only seen Infamous, so we're in the same boat. Gay movies are generally dreadful.